Doing a Weird Al Yankovic


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Inspired by Weird Al, here are some takes on famous poems and pop songs

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Doing a Weird Al Yankovic

  1. 1. Doing a Weird Al Yankovic takes on famous poems & songs by Neil Dufty
  2. 2. Red, Red Nose O my Love’s like my red, red nose, That’s newly sprung in June; O my Love’s like an allergy, That helps us snore in tune. Now you’re so cool, my bony lass, But so deep in snot am I; And I will love you still, my dear, Till all my sinuses go dry. Till all my sinuses go dry, my dear, And we can have some fun; But I will love you still, my dear, When again my nose does run. So see you soon my only Love, And see you, for a while! And I will come again, my Love, With one big snotty smile! (Author’s note: Apologies to Robert Burns for the take on his poem ‘Red, Red Rose’) © Neil Dufty
  3. 3. Fried Beauty Glory be to God for all fried things - For well-done patties full of whatever; For savs encased in thick, crusted batter; Oily fish and chips; chicken wings; Chiko rolls – folded, aromatic, full of flavour; And other beauties, how can they make you fatter? All fried things crisp, ooey, gooey, strange; Whatever raises cholesterol (who knows how?) With ingredients that must keep you trim; Let’s buy another scallop with the change: Praise him. (Author’s note: Apologies to Gerard Manley Hopkins for the take on ‘Pied Beauty’) © Neil Dufty
  4. 4. The Pizza Man My wind was a torrent of darkness inside my hungry gut, My face was a ghastly turquoise: I’d been really in a rut, My order had been misplaced when I’d phoned an hour before, And the pizza man came running- Running-running- The pizza man came running, up to my open door. He had a large case under his armpit; a look of concern on his face, I had a mouth that was drooling like a hound that just run a race, I waited with great anticipation as I paid the man the bill, And how I longed for that Hawaiian Pizza, That juicy Hawaiian Pizza, Oh no, it’s a Meat Lovers; hey, but I’ll still eat my fill! Author’s note: Apologies to Alfred J. Noyes for the take on his poem ‘The Highwayman’) © Neil Dufty
  5. 5. My Mullet (Author’s note: To be sung to that classic ‘Achy Breaky Heart’) Don’t shave my mullet, my lovely flowin’ mullet, Just watch it swayin’ in the breeze, And if you shave my mullet, my lovely flowin’ mullet, I’ll fall down cryin’ on my knees. You can stand and bellow that I’m not a modern fellow, That my hair is shorter at the side, But lookin’ at my mane that’s givin’ me my fame, There’s no need to make it go and hide. Now you can trash my trailer, yell it from a loud hailer, Laugh and joke at my retro look, But Billy Ray perfected it, why are you rejectin’ it? I’m proud of it and will not be a sook.
  6. 6. My Mullet (cont’d) I can say it’s fair that the girls just love my hair, They stroke and fondle it like a cat, But there’s an older dame who really adores my mane, It’s aunt Raelene with her ciggy and her tat. So you can look like new and grow a mullet too, There are styles that never ever fail, Now there‘s one with a perm, with bleach to make it firm, Why not that trendy ratty tail? Don’t sneer at my mullet, my lovely flowing mullet, It’s the greatest hair-do by a mile, And if you sneer at my mullet, my lovely flowing mullet, It might soon come back into style! © Neil Dufty
  7. 7. Just Write A Spoof (Author’s note: To be sung to ‘Baby’ James Taylor’s song ‘Up On The Roof’. Apologies to writers Gerry Goffin & Carole King) When this old world starts making me frown And people are just too close and in my face I take up my pen and write a few lines And all my cares just drift right in to space Write a spoof as scathing as can be And only someone suing can bother me Let me tell you how Find a poor polie who is tired and beat Or a new star who is so fresh and sweet Try to pick out their obvious traits Then extend the truth and turn up the heat
  8. 8. Just Write A Spoof (cont’d) Write a spoof – the only way to go When all the world’s a bore and life’s so so Have a go Just write a spoof They say the pen is mightier than the sword But go too far and you’ll end up getting caught I keep a-telling you Right smack down in the middle of jail I found a paradise that’s trouble proof So if your own world starts making you fail There’s room enough in here to write a spoof Just write a spoof Everything’s all right Just write a spoof Oh, come on buddy Just write a spoof Just write a spoof © Neil Dufty
  9. 9. For more Neil Dufty poems & short stories Dufty/e/B00580K8VI