Agenda <ul><li>9:00  Introductions, Ice Breaker and “Hand of the Lord” Time </li></ul><ul><li>10:00 Difficult Discussions ...
Describe something that made you laugh within the past week...
Hand of the Lord
The Difficult Discussion <ul><li>What is it? </li></ul><ul><li>Why is it so difficult? </li></ul><ul><li>How do you do it?...
Fierce Conversation A fierce conversation is one in which you  come out from behind yourself into the  conversation and ma...
The Goal The goal of a fierce conversation is to get everyone’s reality out on the table, so that  it can be interrogated....
Difficult Discussion: Why So Difficult? Key Principle Highly effective people act their way into a new way of feeling… the...
1. “You”   Listen to understand 2. “Me”   Ask… then present 3. “It”   Brainstorm solutions     (What’s right, not who’s ri...
Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get  the Facts One Minute Intro  “ You” “Me”  “It”  ...
Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get  the Facts One Minute Intro  “ You” “Me”  “It”  ...
One Minute Intro <ul><ul><li>  1. Identify the issue. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>  2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific) </...
“ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us?
Dealing with the KANI’s of  Life and Ministry <ul><li>S…ituation </li></ul><ul><li>P…roblem </li></ul><ul><li>E…vidence – ...
 
 
 
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Roundtable for June 29 2010

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  • Have each participant individually identify a difficult discussion he/she has been putting off. Why do we procrastinate when it comes to having the difficult discussion?
  • Discuss Susan Scott’s book, Fierce Conversations.
  • Discuss what it means to “get reality out on the table.”
  • Discuss the impact of emotions as it relates to leadership. Discuss “praxis” – the idea of choosing your actions to effectively change your feelings. Give illustrations. Discuss leadership applications.
  • Discuss a four-step approach to having a difficult discussion. Reinforce the Farmer Brown/Farmer Jones exercise as it relates to Step 1. Reinforce the Seven Habits teaching of “empathic listening” as it relates to information plus emotion.
  • Discuss the other aspects of a difficult discussion…investigation, invitation and follow up. Exchange best practices for effective follow up after the difficult discussion takes place.
  • Discuss the importance of a strategic one minute introduction before the actual dialogue ever takes place.
  • Roundtable for June 29 2010

    1. 2. Agenda <ul><li>9:00 Introductions, Ice Breaker and “Hand of the Lord” Time </li></ul><ul><li>10:00 Difficult Discussions </li></ul><ul><li>12:00 Working lunch </li></ul><ul><li>12:30 Discussion of KANI </li></ul><ul><li>Any left over time… “Popcorn” KANI </li></ul><ul><li>2:00 Dismiss </li></ul>
    2. 3. Describe something that made you laugh within the past week...
    3. 4. Hand of the Lord
    4. 5. The Difficult Discussion <ul><li>What is it? </li></ul><ul><li>Why is it so difficult? </li></ul><ul><li>How do you do it? </li></ul>15
    5. 6. Fierce Conversation A fierce conversation is one in which you come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real. robust intense strong powerful passionate eager unbridled uncurbed by Susan Scott 15
    6. 7. The Goal The goal of a fierce conversation is to get everyone’s reality out on the table, so that it can be interrogated. Everyone’s! 15
    7. 8. Difficult Discussion: Why So Difficult? Key Principle Highly effective people act their way into a new way of feeling… they do not feel their way into a new way of acting. 16
    8. 9. 1. “You” Listen to understand 2. “Me” Ask… then present 3. “It” Brainstorm solutions (What’s right, not who’s right?) 4. “Us” Agree to who will do what by when… and set date to inspect what you expect Difficult Discussions 101 16
    9. 10. Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get the Facts One Minute Intro “ You” “Me” “It” “Us” Inspect What You Expect Results Relationships Trust 16
    10. 11. Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get the Facts One Minute Intro “ You” “Me” “It” “Us” Inspect What You Expect Results Relationships Trust “ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us? Enlarged on next slide <ul><ul><li> 1. Identify the issue. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li> 2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific) </li></ul></ul><ul><li> 3. Clarify what is at stake. </li></ul><ul><li> 4. Identify any contribution you may have made to this issue </li></ul><ul><li> 5. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue. </li></ul><ul><li> 6. Invite the other person to respond. </li></ul>17
    11. 12. One Minute Intro <ul><ul><li> 1. Identify the issue. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li> 2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific) </li></ul></ul><ul><li>3. Clarify what is at stake. </li></ul><ul><li>4. Identify any contribution you may have made to this issue </li></ul><ul><li>5. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue. </li></ul><ul><li>6. Invite the other person to respond. </li></ul>17
    12. 13. “ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us?
    13. 14. Dealing with the KANI’s of Life and Ministry <ul><li>S…ituation </li></ul><ul><li>P…roblem </li></ul><ul><li>E…vidence – is it measureable? </li></ul><ul><li>What is the cost $$, image, rep.?? </li></ul><ul><li>C…onsequences over time </li></ul><ul><li>I…mplications </li></ul><ul><li>F…uture Fix </li></ul><ul><li>I…mplications </li></ul><ul><li>C…onstraints </li></ul>What are the Issues?

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