Talk to your partner and obtain answers to: ¡ Think about a time when you needed help with a problem or in making a decision – who did you turn to? ¡ What made you choose this person (what made them approachable)? ¡ What personal or behavioural qualities did they have that you found helpful? ¡ Can you remember anything they did or said that made you feel a ease? ¡ Time: Total 10 min: 5 min each interview
Increased risk You are in a real position of trust, you can nowand 1. Peak make a real difference.opportunity Rapportfor growth You are now into the real development zone. 2. Feelings & Tread carefully as you are still building trust. Emotions 3. Ideas & Starting to warm up and share more of Judgements themselves – you are making progress 4. Facts & Getting down to the facts but could Information be just ‘noise’ 5. Ritual Small talk – you have a long way Cliché to go.
¡ People in rapport typically ‘match’ one another. What to do: ¡ adopting the same posture/ movements ¡ talking in the same tone and speed ¡ mirroring breathing rate ¡ using the same type of language ¡ Don’t make it too obvious, rapport that works is an unconscious, natural process.
To enable all students to successfully prepare for: Employment in a Global Economy Responsible Citizenry Education at the Next Level
To help students make sound choices that support academic and career success.
¡ Going to school ¡ Turning in homework ¡ Participating in class ¡ Enrolling in rigorous courses ¡ Taking college admissions tests ¡ Making a career plan ¡ Working through social and personal concerns that interfere with learning
1. Connection Machine2. No two are alike3. Hardwires everything4. Hardwiring drives automatic perception5. Diﬃcult to deconstruct wiring6. Easy to create new wiring ~Dr. David Rock, Quiet Leadership
1. Let them do all the thinking 2. Focus on solutions 3. Listen for potential
“To tell denies or negates another’s intelligence. To ask honours it.”
STEP 1Thinking: What do you think needs to be done?Vision: What do you want to achieve here?Planning: What’s your plan for achieving this?Detail: What exactly did he say to you?Problem: What is the problem?Drama: How does that make you feel, bad…angry?
Problem Focused Solu4ons Focused Why didnt you….? What do you need to do next =me to….? Why did this happen? What do you want to achieve here? What do you need to do to move this Where did it all start to go wrong? forward? Why do you think you are not good at this? How can you develop strength in this area? Why did you do that? What do you want to do next? Who can achieve this or help you achieve Who is responsible for this? this? Why isnt this working? What do we need to do to make this work?
1. Climate: § Verbal § Nonverbal 2. Input § More support § More time 3. Response Opportunity § Ask more questions § Allow them to answer 4. Feedback § Positive reinforcement (correct answer) § Clariﬁcation (incorrect answer)
4. Listen like aCoach Look interested: Face speaker, maintain eye contact, lean forward slightly Inquire with questions: Clarify the speaker’s meaning , Use range of question to get the full picture Stay on target :Listen from the speaker’s agenda Test your understanding :Restate, summarise Evaluate the message: Consider emotions, is body language consistent with words, tone? Neutralise your feelings :Don’t get emotional and keep an open mind
“Listening for potential is a choice in every moment. By choosing to listen to people as successful, competent, and able to resolve their own dilemmas, guess what’s likely to happen? They often solve their own dilemmas...”
¡ Have you ever had the joy of trying to dance with someone who didn’t want to dance with you? ¡ Start of conversation ¡ Anytime you get more personal in a conversation
¡ “I get a sense you have more to say about that, could I probe a little further?” ¡ “I’d like to have a more open conversation than we’ve had before, would it be okay if I asked you some more speciﬁc questions right now?” ¡ “Can we spend a few minutes brainstorming ideas in this?” ¡ “I’d like to understand more about your thinking in that area, would you be okay talking more about that?”
¡ What would you like to achieve from our time together now? ¡ With which goal or objective are you seeking support? ¡ What would be the most useful thing we could work on now? ¡ What would a good outcome look like? ¡ Do you have a “dream scenario” for this issue in, say, a year from now? ¡ What is your vision of success in this situation?
¡ How long have you been thinking about this goal? ¡ How important is this goal for you (on scale of 1-‐10)? ¡ Where are you now in relation to this goal? ¡ What resources* do you currently have * Resources – refers to anything that could assist you in reaching your goal such as: § Personal qualities e.g. tenacity, optimism, creativity, organised, outgoing § Energy § Experience § Personal networks § Family and friends § Money
¡ COUNSELLOR: § What options are available to you to achieve this goal? § What else? What else? What else? § If a good friend of yours were facing a similar issue, what options would you suggest to him/her? ¡ GUIDE: § Who do you think can facilitate that for you? § Where do you think you can get that information? ¡ TEACHER: ¡ Something that has worked for others/me is…, how do you think this could work for you?
¡ Which of these options are you committing to? ¡ What precisely are you committing to and when will you do it? ¡ What “baby steps” could you take to get you started on this journey? ¡ Out of 10, how do you rate your conﬁdence that you will actually do what you’re proposing to? (If the person rates his/her certainty as less than 8 out of 10, then they need to be asked, what do you need to do ﬁrst to ensure this action is done?)
¡ § ”I’d really like to be less stressed at school, but it just seems to get busier every week!” ¡ W Use GROW
“One cannot teach a man anything. One can only enable him to learn from within himself.”