Preparing Students for College: Social Life


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"The College Lady" Wendie Lubic gives a talk about how to prepare soon-to-be college students for social life...everything from alcohol, drugs, sex and money.

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Preparing Students for College: Social Life

  1. 1. Preparing Students for College: Social Life July 10, 2013 Cyndy McDonald, President Wendie Lubic, The College Lady Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll and More!
  2. 2. Wendie Lubic, The College Lady Washington, DC I n t e r v i e w w i t h C h a n n e l 9 : A r t i c l e i n W a s h i n g t o n P a r e n t Guest Presenter Wendie is an IEC practicing in the Washington DC area with more than 17 years of experience teaching at the Parent Encouragement Program in Maryland.
  3. 3. It’s Tough Parenting a Teen …
  4. 4. Adolescents are going through two things: 1.  Separation 2.  Individuation The bottom line: Don’t take anything personally, and even if they roll their eyes, they are listening. Parents Need to Know…
  5. 5. •  Adolescent brain is “under construction” •  Brain development is not complete until age 25 •  Brain circuits must be used in order to develop •  Experience plays a major role in the brain wiring •  Addiction can be “hardwired” The Teen Brain
  6. 6. •  Educate parents on brain development •  Encourage parents – use logic & limits •  Prepare parents for change •  Help teen exercise “decision-making”muscles •  Don’t offer unsolicited advice •  Approach teen as emerging adult, not as a child How Can IEC’s Help?
  7. 7. The Art of Closed Questioning
  8. 8. •  Open vs. Closed Questions •  Avoid why questions •  Ask one question at a time •  Pause & reflect after answers •  Listen at least twice as much as you talk •  Be clear & direct •  Use the “ask, don’t tell”method •  Ask permission before giving advice. Ways to Improve Communication
  9. 9. •  New challenges •  New freedoms •  Self-regulation is essential to success Adjusting to New Freedoms
  10. 10. •  Coach parents to: •  Get the facts about drugs/alcohol •  Understand the consequences in underage indulgence •  Make students aware of limits & consequences •  Parents must be the best source of information •  Set up fallback plans •  Don’t rely on the cell-phone umbilical cord •  Model healthy behavior Drugs & Alcohol
  11. 11. What students need from Parents/Adults: •  Affirmation •  Information •  Clarity about values •  Limit setting & solid boundaries •  Anticipatory guidance Teen Sexuality The topic that scares parents the most!
  12. 12. Senior year and the summer before college begins is a great opportunity for parents to talk about expectations and consequences of behavior. Emphasize that the student will make their own decisions once school begins. Values & Expectations: •  Family •  Personal •  Societal •  Religious Making Good Choices
  13. 13. •  Don’t room with high school friends •  Don’t pre-judge the roommate based on their Facebook page •  Set ground rules and agreements early, don’t wait until there is a problem •  Give your roommate the benefit of the doubt when a problem occurs Getting Along with Roommates
  14. 14. •  Don’t be afraid to talk to the RA if you have an issue •  Speak out if something bothers you •  Make sure to discuss sensitive subjects: •  Overnight guests •  Sexiling •  Cleanliness •  Shared food/items •  Times for lights on/off •  Be aware that things may change during the course of the year. Roommates…continued
  15. 15. •  Get off of the computer & get out •  Door open strategy •  Don’t be afraid to go up to a table of people you don’t know during meals •  Experiment with new groups and activities •  Avoid exclusively hanging out with high school friends •  Reach out to others who may be struggling as well Making Friends
  16. 16. Students who know how to do the following things are more confident and less like to embarrass themselves with peers, staff, professors •  Laundry •  Personal finance •  Budgeting •  Personal hygiene •  Interacting respectfully with university staff •  Keeping property safe •  Email & internet etiquette Training Opportunities
  17. 17. When using these tips, remember: •  this is not a permission slip •  acknowledge teen has control Parent Tip Sheets Wendie’s Talking Points for: • Drinking • Relationships, Sex & Intimacy Find tips on MyCCA website – available ONLY the next 30 days:
  18. 18. -Perfect use of shared documents- to post Talking points to students/parents -use broadcast email function to announce workshops, meetings, for graduating seniors - Open the Conversation Online
  19. 19. See why MyCCA is The Leading Educational Consultant Practice Management Solution •  Find best fit colleges based on academic, social and financial fit •  Track admissions milestones & progress •  Market and manage your practice Start a new Premier account before 8/31 and receive a free marketing coaching session to jumpstart your practice! This $250 value includes: •  1 hr of marketing Q&A with an expert •  A marketing plan with actionable next steps tailored to your practice
  20. 20. Questions & Answers Cyndy McDonald Wendie Lubic