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Preparing Students for College: Social Life


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"The College Lady" Wendie Lubic gives a talk about how to prepare soon-to-be college students for social life...everything from alcohol, drugs, sex and money.

"The College Lady" Wendie Lubic gives a talk about how to prepare soon-to-be college students for social life...everything from alcohol, drugs, sex and money.

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  • 1. Preparing Students for College: Social Life July 10, 2013 Cyndy McDonald, President Wendie Lubic, The College Lady Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll and More!
  • 2. Wendie Lubic, The College Lady Washington, DC I n t e r v i e w w i t h C h a n n e l 9 : A r t i c l e i n W a s h i n g t o n P a r e n t Guest Presenter Wendie is an IEC practicing in the Washington DC area with more than 17 years of experience teaching at the Parent Encouragement Program in Maryland.
  • 3. It’s Tough Parenting a Teen …
  • 4. Adolescents are going through two things: 1.  Separation 2.  Individuation The bottom line: Don’t take anything personally, and even if they roll their eyes, they are listening. Parents Need to Know…
  • 5. •  Adolescent brain is “under construction” •  Brain development is not complete until age 25 •  Brain circuits must be used in order to develop •  Experience plays a major role in the brain wiring •  Addiction can be “hardwired” The Teen Brain
  • 6. •  Educate parents on brain development •  Encourage parents – use logic & limits •  Prepare parents for change •  Help teen exercise “decision-making”muscles •  Don’t offer unsolicited advice •  Approach teen as emerging adult, not as a child How Can IEC’s Help?
  • 7. The Art of Closed Questioning
  • 8. •  Open vs. Closed Questions •  Avoid why questions •  Ask one question at a time •  Pause & reflect after answers •  Listen at least twice as much as you talk •  Be clear & direct •  Use the “ask, don’t tell”method •  Ask permission before giving advice. Ways to Improve Communication
  • 9. •  New challenges •  New freedoms •  Self-regulation is essential to success Adjusting to New Freedoms
  • 10. •  Coach parents to: •  Get the facts about drugs/alcohol •  Understand the consequences in underage indulgence •  Make students aware of limits & consequences •  Parents must be the best source of information •  Set up fallback plans •  Don’t rely on the cell-phone umbilical cord •  Model healthy behavior Drugs & Alcohol
  • 11. What students need from Parents/Adults: •  Affirmation •  Information •  Clarity about values •  Limit setting & solid boundaries •  Anticipatory guidance Teen Sexuality The topic that scares parents the most!
  • 12. Senior year and the summer before college begins is a great opportunity for parents to talk about expectations and consequences of behavior. Emphasize that the student will make their own decisions once school begins. Values & Expectations: •  Family •  Personal •  Societal •  Religious Making Good Choices
  • 13. •  Don’t room with high school friends •  Don’t pre-judge the roommate based on their Facebook page •  Set ground rules and agreements early, don’t wait until there is a problem •  Give your roommate the benefit of the doubt when a problem occurs Getting Along with Roommates
  • 14. •  Don’t be afraid to talk to the RA if you have an issue •  Speak out if something bothers you •  Make sure to discuss sensitive subjects: •  Overnight guests •  Sexiling •  Cleanliness •  Shared food/items •  Times for lights on/off •  Be aware that things may change during the course of the year. Roommates…continued
  • 15. •  Get off of the computer & get out •  Door open strategy •  Don’t be afraid to go up to a table of people you don’t know during meals •  Experiment with new groups and activities •  Avoid exclusively hanging out with high school friends •  Reach out to others who may be struggling as well Making Friends
  • 16. Students who know how to do the following things are more confident and less like to embarrass themselves with peers, staff, professors •  Laundry •  Personal finance •  Budgeting •  Personal hygiene •  Interacting respectfully with university staff •  Keeping property safe •  Email & internet etiquette Training Opportunities
  • 17. When using these tips, remember: •  this is not a permission slip •  acknowledge teen has control Parent Tip Sheets Wendie’s Talking Points for: • Drinking • Relationships, Sex & Intimacy Find tips on MyCCA website – available ONLY the next 30 days:
  • 18. -Perfect use of shared documents- to post Talking points to students/parents -use broadcast email function to announce workshops, meetings, for graduating seniors - Open the Conversation Online
  • 19. See why MyCCA is The Leading Educational Consultant Practice Management Solution •  Find best fit colleges based on academic, social and financial fit •  Track admissions milestones & progress •  Market and manage your practice Start a new Premier account before 8/31 and receive a free marketing coaching session to jumpstart your practice! This $250 value includes: •  1 hr of marketing Q&A with an expert •  A marketing plan with actionable next steps tailored to your practice
  • 20. Questions & Answers Cyndy McDonald Wendie Lubic