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The Pursuit of Excellence and the Pitfalls of Perfectionism



Presentation for parents by Patrick Carruth and Jeff Gephart

Presentation for parents by Patrick Carruth and Jeff Gephart



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The Pursuit of Excellence and the Pitfalls of Perfectionism The Pursuit of Excellence and the Pitfalls of Perfectionism Presentation Transcript

  • "You can see that the problem with perfectionismbegins when we move beyond the legitimatepursuit of excellence to live under the tyranny ofbelieving that perfection is possible and failuresare unacceptable. Standards of productivity,accomplishment or appearance are so high thatthey are impossible to attain.
  • When our self-worth and self-respect depend onreaching those standards, the result is aninevitable script for self-defeat: one’s ownpersonal hell of repeated failure, self-criticism anddepression. Notice that it is the degree of intensitywith which we pursue impossible goals, and thedegree to which we feel that our worth isdependent on reaching those goals, that definesthe difference between healthy and unhealthyperfectionism." (pg. 36 Perfecting Ourselves to Death by Richard Winter)
  • “…the problem with perfectionismbegins when we move beyond thelegitimate pursuit of excellence to liveunder the tyranny of believing thatperfection is possible and failures areunacceptable. “
  • VIRTUEMeaning a "moral life and conduct, moral excellence," from Latin virtus meaning "moral strength, manliness, valor, excellence, worth," from vir meaning "man or husband".The four classical virtues: Temperance Justice Prudence Courage
  • EUDAIMONIAMeans "producing or maintaining happiness with an objectively desirable life.“ Literally means “having a good or guardian spirit (eu + daimon).
  • ARÊTEIs an important concept in Greek philosophy, generally meaning "virtue, excellence," especially of “manly” qualities; lit. "that which is good." The superlative is aristos (best), from which we get the word aristocracy (aristo + kratos). Fulfilling potential Life long journey Effort not intellect
  • PAIDEIAFrom the Greek pais, paidos. The upbringing of a child (similar to the words pedagogy and pediatrics). It is the equivalent of the Latin humanitas (from which we get the humanities), signifying the general learning that should be the possession of all human beings.Paideia meant the process of educating man into his true form, the real and genuine human nature. David Naugle
  • PAIDEIAThe classical Greek system of education and training, which came to include gymnastics, grammar, rhetoric, poetry, music, mathematics, geography, natural history, astronomy and the physical sciences, history of society and ethics, and philosophy—the complete pedagogical course of study necessary to produce a well-rounded, fully educated citizen.” Richard Tarnas, The Passion of the Western Mind, pp. 29-30.
  • PAIDEIA The True The Good The BeautifulThe making of the human (humanitas), not the training of men
  • PHILIPPIANS 3:12-1512 Not that I have already obtained allthis, or have already arrived at my goal,but I press on to take hold of that forwhich Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers and sisters, I do not considermyself yet to have taken hold of it.
  • PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15But one thing I do: Forgetting what isbehind and straining toward what isahead, 14 I press on toward the goal towin the prize for which God has calledme heavenward in Christ Jesus.
  • PHILIPPIANS 3:12-1515 All of us, then, who are mature shouldtake such a view of things. And if onsome point you think differently, that tooGod will make clear to you. 16 Only let uslive up to what we have already attained.
  • I Am the KiteI am the kite:Red and orange,Fire in the sky,Stunt Kite,Cutting loopsAnd gashes in the blue,My skin vibratesOn my frame with power.
  • I Am the Kite (cont’d) I cut the cordTo fly yet higher still,To show the restWhat freedoms all about.I turn and twistMy fanciest curlAnd set my courseFor distance.
  • I Am the Kite (cont’d)But, my mistakeWas notTo take the wind for granted,But the cordThat tensioned meTo one I did not seeSo far below.The flyer is not me.
  • I Am the Kite (cont’d)Lord, give me the anchor. Giveme pause.Let me know in freedomslimited flight,The kites first cause.Bruce Barton BaileySunday, May 29, 1994
  • PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCE FROM JEFF BAASBeing Wrong Not Measuring Up Freedom PERFECTIONISMPERFECTIONISM is fear that others PERFECTIONISMis the fear of being might think you is confining. wrong. don’t measure up. EXCELLENCE is EXCELLENCE is a the willingness to EXCELLENCE is desire to be the be wrong and to freeing. best you can be. learn from it.
  • PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCEOpenness Direction Improvement PERFECTIONISM PERFECTIONISM is fearingPERFECTIONISM is remaining right somethingis closing yourself where you’ve unpleasant will off. always been. come from your efforts. EXCELLENCE isEXCELLENCE is EXCELLENCE is a an excitement overopening yourself journey of the improvements up. discovery. that you will help discover.
  • REALIZEWe are fallen Image Bearers and the inability to perfect ourselvesWe live in the present by grace, without fear of past or future
  • OBSERVE AND EMPHASIZEWatch for signs in self and childrenEmphasize process instead of outcomeEmphasize character development over appearance or performanceThe work of Christ and the pull of Grace toward excellence
  • "Humility, which involves losing ourself-sufficiency, is a secret of soulrest because it does not presume tosecure outcomes.“Dallas Willardfrom Renovation of the Heart
  • When You Come Back Downmusic and lyrics by Nickel CreekYou got to leave me now, you got to go aloneYou got to chase a dream, one thats all your ownBefore it slips awayWhen youre flyin high, take my heart alongIll be the harmony to every lonely songThat you learn to play
  • When youre soarin through the airIll be your solid groundTake every chance you dareIll still be thereWhen you come back downWhen you come back down
  • Ill keep lookin up awaitin your returnMy greatest fear will be that you will crash and burnAnd I wont feel your fireIll be the other hand that always holds the lineConnectin in between your sweet heart and mineIm strung out on that wire
  • And Ill be on the other endTo hear you when you callAngel, you were born to flyAnd if you get too highIll catch you when you fallIll catch you when you fall
  • Your memorys the sunshine every new day bringsI know the sky is callingAngel, let me help you with your wings
  • When youre soarin through the airIll be your solid groundTake every chance you dareIll still be thereWhen you come back down
  • Take every chance you dareIll still be thereWhen you come back downWhen you come back down