Raising Responsible Children using the  Love and Logic     Approach       Karen K. Wright    The Bear Creek School    kare...
What do you want for your child?
What About You?   How do you want to be perceived?       Parent       Teacher   Three types of parents       Drill se...
Love and Logic   The technique is:       proactive       respectful       loving
Why Parent with       Love and Logic? Raise responsible children Raise ethical, caring children Raise children who are ...
The Misbehavior Cycle   Anger and frustration feed misbehavior    1.   The misbehavior occurs    2.   The adult shows ang...
Ending the Misbehavior Cycle   Our response to a child‟s misbehavior    provides a learning opportunity        “The most...
The Two Rules of             Love and Logic   Adults set firm limits in loving ways    without anger, lecture, or threats...
How it works…   What first?       Love and Logic parents make great coaches—        they over-learn their plays so they ...
One Play at a Time   Strategy 1: Empathy       Always lead with empathy:            “I know you are hungry, dear. I am ...
One Play at a Time   Strategy 3: Neutralize Arguing       One-liner            “Probably so” or “Nice try” (loving, not...
One Play at a Time   Strategy 4: Enforceable Statements          “You may join us for dinner once you are as calm       ...
Enforceable Statements           and Choices   Both help children understand what we will    allow rather than telling th...
It’s Not Working!   Strategy 6: Consequences       Given with empathy and encouragement       “I feel sad when I miss o...
Resolution   Reconnect after the consequence       For parents, this should include hugs, kisses,        and assuring yo...
Love and Logic Pearls   Guiding Children to Solve Their Own    Problems (Handout J)   Praise, praise, praise   Eye cont...
The Power of You   You are the Heartbeat of the Home   Mary and Martha (Luke 10:40-42)     “…But Martha was distracted ...
Raising Responsible Children using the  Love and Logic     Approach       Karen K. Wright    The Bear Creek School    kare...
Upcoming SlideShare
Loading in …5
×

Raising Responsible Children Using the Love and Logic Approach

1,925 views
1,720 views

Published on

Slides from 2011 Preparing Your Child for Success seminar hosted by The Bear Creek School annually in Redmond, WA. Slides are excerpts from the presentation "Raising Responsible Children Using the Love and Logic Approach" by Karen Wright, Ph.D. Lower School Division Head at The Bear Creek School.

Published in: Education, Technology
0 Comments
4 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

No Downloads
Views
Total views
1,925
On SlideShare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
95
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
32
Comments
0
Likes
4
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Raising Responsible Children Using the Love and Logic Approach

  1. 1. Raising Responsible Children using the Love and Logic Approach Karen K. Wright The Bear Creek School karen.wright@tbcs.org
  2. 2. What do you want for your child?
  3. 3. What About You? How do you want to be perceived?  Parent  Teacher Three types of parents  Drill sergeant  Helicopter  Consultant
  4. 4. Love and Logic The technique is:  proactive  respectful  loving
  5. 5. Why Parent with Love and Logic? Raise responsible children Raise ethical, caring children Raise children who are prepared to make positive contributions See Handout A
  6. 6. The Misbehavior Cycle Anger and frustration feed misbehavior 1. The misbehavior occurs 2. The adult shows anger or frustration 3. The child perceives authority figure 4. Negative self-concept ensues 5. Misbehavior occurs again
  7. 7. Ending the Misbehavior Cycle Our response to a child‟s misbehavior provides a learning opportunity  “The most powerful people in my life can‟t make be behave.”  “The most powerful people in my life have to sweat to make me behave.”  “It‟s entertaining to make adults mad!” Or…  “I learned a lesson.”
  8. 8. The Two Rules of Love and Logic Adults set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture, or threats. When a child causes a problem, the adult hands it back in loving ways.
  9. 9. How it works… What first?  Love and Logic parents make great coaches— they over-learn their plays so they avoid having to improvise under pressure.  Love and Logic is not a cure for misbehavior; rather, it gives children the opportunity to learn from consequences.  Handout B Know thyself
  10. 10. One Play at a Time Strategy 1: Empathy  Always lead with empathy:  “I know you are hungry, dear. I am starving too, and it‟s tough. Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.”  Employ the broken record technique: “I know you are hungry, and dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.” Strategy 2: Hint Phrase  Oh, Oh Song  “Oh, Oh, looks as if you are whining/fitting/talking back”  “Oh dear!”
  11. 11. One Play at a Time Strategy 3: Neutralize Arguing  One-liner  “Probably so” or “Nice try” (loving, not sarcastic)  Handout C  One Sentence Intervention  I love you too much to argue…..I love you too much to argue….”  Handout D
  12. 12. One Play at a Time Strategy 4: Enforceable Statements  “You may join us for dinner once you are as calm as I am.”  “I‟ll start the movie as soon as your room is tidy.”  (Handouts E & F) Strategy 5: Choices  “You may have water or milk.”  “Would you like to carry the diaper bag or the grocery bag?”  (Handout G)
  13. 13. Enforceable Statements and Choices Both help children understand what we will allow rather than telling them what to do. Choices give our children the opportunity to wrestle with the problem and come to their own conclusion about the best solution. The lesson is more likely to stick with them. When we tell them what to do, we are sending the message, “You are too fragile to make it without me,” or “You can‟t think for yourself, so I‟ll do it for you.” Choices help children regain control.
  14. 14. It’s Not Working! Strategy 6: Consequences  Given with empathy and encouragement  “I feel sad when I miss out Grandma‟s special brownies too. Don‟t worry. I feel sure you‟ll be able to join us for brownies the next time she brings them.”  “Hmmm…this really stumps me. I‟ll get back to you. Try not to worry about it.”  Handouts H & I
  15. 15. Resolution Reconnect after the consequence  For parents, this should include hugs, kisses, and assuring your child that you love him, forgive him, and know he has learned from his mistake.  For teachers, this should include telling the students they love them unconditionally and are confident they will not repeat the same mistakes again.
  16. 16. Love and Logic Pearls Guiding Children to Solve Their Own Problems (Handout J) Praise, praise, praise Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact At the end of the school day  Practice the Golden Rule  Hug your children before you ask them about their day.  Review homework only once or twice per week. Have the child point out his/her strengths rather than focus on the mistakes.
  17. 17. The Power of You You are the Heartbeat of the Home Mary and Martha (Luke 10:40-42)  “…But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Jesus and asked, „Lord, don‟t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!‟”  “„ Martha, Martha,‟ the Lord answered, „you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.‟” Slow down, use your eyes and your words thoughtfully.
  18. 18. Raising Responsible Children using the Love and Logic Approach Karen K. Wright The Bear Creek School karen.wright@tbcs.org

×