Building Blocks of Parenting

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  • 1. Building Blocks for parenting Janet Jacobson
  • 2. My background • • • • • 4 kids Came to Bear Creek16 years ago Been teaching for last 15 years Home schooled them for 9 years Involved in sports, play groups, mops, Bible studies, youth groups, and other groups for their development • Family is very important to me
  • 3. Our calling • I believe our greatest calling in this life is the calling to be a parent. We all come to this role from different directions, but it is the greatest gift God can offer us. • Greater than our vocation, our financial security, our education or status. After our relationship with God, our relationship with our children is most important. • “children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward…how blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them!” Psalm 127:3 • “A wise woman builds her house” Proverbs 14:1
  • 4. I’m so glad I …. • • • • • • • • Schedules, routines, chores meals / lunches/breakfasts Discipline, good manners Communication/presence Family times Traditions Scripture and spiritual life …GRACE for myself and everyone else
  • 5. Schedules, routines, chores • Babies thrive by experiencing routine. It helps establish discipline and security. • Naptime, meal time, nighttime routine, etc (try to avoid overscheduling). It sets seeds of contentment and learning to play creatively. • Natural segue into chores • Chore chart (try to avoid external prizes) • Sets seeds to being responsible/independent
  • 6. Meals / lunches/breakfast • Stats on families who eat dinner together • Perfect opportunity to connect, listen, ask questions that encourage reflection (high/low of the day, older kids can reflect on conversation starters, etc) • Lunches – big deal to my boys! Shows care and concern for health, do it together, do some the night before, sandwiches in the morning. • Breakfast – most important meal!
  • 7. Discipline/good manners • “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and discipline” ~II Tim 1:7 • Discipline is for our good and God’s glory • Start narrow, as they grow we can get broader • One form of discipline is good manners. Manners glorify God and respect people. Manners start with teaching/training fear of the Lord and His ways. Fruit: words, actions, attitudes • Self-control: delayed gratification, over-spending, eating whatever we want, toys, clothes, etc. we need to model true contentment and good stewardship • Lays foundation for discipline in later years (chores, homework, work, relationships) • Discipline should always be done in private, with respect, and never in anger
  • 8. Communication/presence • “your presence gives them a greater sense of security than almost anything else you can offer them” p. 13 • The world pulls at us from all directions. They must know that they are the priority. • Start early, when they’re little. We model communication and honesty. They pick up on what you say without your words. • Children crave our presence, not the things we can offer them. We cannot get moments back. • Keep talking with them. They need/want your input (even if they act like they don’t).
  • 9. * Talking and sharing communicates “you are important to me” and “I want to know how you feel about this” • By starting early, and setting the seeds of communication and presence, it makes it natural for them to share with you when they are older • When they’re older, they don’t want to talk as much (room, grunts) but keep the routine of mealtimes and family times. • As kids move through stages, our goal should be to move from control to influence.
  • 10. Family times • Activities, sports, and even friends will come and go – but family doesn’t. Guard your times! • Be intentional about it: meal times, game nights, pizza/movie nights, work days, pick from a jar, delegate dinner jobs, etc. • Support each member’s sporting events, special occasions, etc. • Start young with spiritual training – make it real and make it regular. When they’re older it makes it easier to tackle issues with the Lord.
  • 11. Traditions • Fun! Celebrate the joy of being a family • First fall fire • Thanksgiving: box, delegate food, favorite thing for the table • Christmas: baby Jesus mangers, advent treasure box, services/meal traditions, advent calendars (different kinds) nativity sets • New Years: flip through the calendar • Valentines Day: heart pancakes, love notes • Easter: Easter egg symbols, sedar dinner
  • 12. Scripture/spiritual life • Start early! • Prayer: model it, everything, natural, Ebenezer stones • Scripture memory: charts • Read Bible stories • Family times
  • 13. GRACE • Grace for you, for today, for now! Allow yourself to learn • Grace for your family members – it’s through grace that people see Christ. • It’s about giving and receiving grace • Time in Bible study • Time with like-minded moms who knew how to give and receive grace. I saw it modeled. • ENJOY your sweet kids! They’re a gift from God.