Elementary Elaboration V2sre

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For lessons and family review

For lessons and family review

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  • This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. All units include shared writing. In shared writing, teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference.
  • This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. Units in these modules need to have extended practice beyond what is in the PowerPoint. Units are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
  • It has been very successful with groups of students to have them respond chorally. Students may respond with “Tell me more.” You say, "Elaboration means: TELL ME MORE." "What does elaboration mean?" The kids respond, "Tell me more!" Then you add more information from the slide, like: "Kids, Elaboration answers a reader’s questions. What does elaboration mean?” The kids respond, "Tell me more!" Then you add more information from the slide, “Elaboration can be shown in a paper by using specific words. What does elaboration mean?" Kids respond, "TELL ME MORE!" You say, "OK. Elaboration can be shown with onion-like layering of detail. What does elaboration mean kids?" Kids respond, "TELL ME MORE!" You continue through the list on the slide. The good part about this activity is that it is interactive which gets the point across and reinforces what elaboration means.
  • Be sure to retrieve from the Document Folder the Word Document titled “To Elaborate, Dig.doc” This document contains teacher directions and a story to tell the students. For more information on scoring for the WASL, refer to the OSPI website, writing assessment, where you will find copies of the scoring guides and anchor papers, annotations, and practice papers.
  • Point out that although the writer attempts to give some detail ( You will have to name solids), there is little more than a list. Go to the next slide and compare.
  • This example gives detail about what the two projects are. It goes on to define owl pellets and give further detail about how the pellet comes to be. Notice that this is only an excerpt from a WASL paper and doesn’t constitute a 4 paper as it stands. Notice also that the writer shows an awareness of audience with the words “chokes up” rather than pukes.
  • This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
  • Read the sentence aloud. Click on the slide to see a question that might be asked. The yellow box demonstrates a “Think-Aloud” that your students may recognize from reading instruction. Think-alouds illustrate how a reader approaches a text and interacts with it by asking questions. This concept (asking questions) is developed over 4 slides. Note: If you are using an overhead or document camera, cover all but the first line and reveal each line as it would appear in a PowerPoint.
  • Read the new sentence and point out that the question has been answered (in the blue text). Click the slide to show that the first question generates yet another possible question. Note: If you are using an overhead or document camera, cover all but the first line and reveal each line as it would appear in a PowerPoint.
  • Read the sentence noting that the second question is answered (in the red text). Click to see an additional possible question. Notice that each detail builds on the previous sentence and answers an additional question. This is the beginning of layered elaboration. The next slide will continue to extend the elaboration. Note: If you are using an overhead or document camera, cover all but the first line and reveal each line as it would appear in a PowerPoint.
  • Be sure you have a system in place for partner and group work (e.g., what are the rules and expectations). Return to the original sentences ( Kids have problems. For example, kids don’t always get what they want , like staying up late.) Have partners discuss possible answers to the question on this slide. Share out answers that various pairs find. Choose one example from the class and finish the paragraph.
  • Read the paragraph together.
  • Ahead of time, write each sentence from this excerpt on a sentence strip. I have nice friends. They make me laugh and they teach me things at recess. My friends are Jay, Emily, Ann, and Andy. They taught me how to do tricks on the bars. This paragraph is from a 2004 WASL anchor paper(4EA8). Each time you click on the slide, a new section of text will fly in followed by a possible question (in red text) followed by the writer’s next section. After each sentence of the paragraph appears, discuss possible questions with your class. Then click to fly in the question on the slide. (The entire WASL paper cos3tricksonbars.doc can be found in the document folder.) Your students may recognize that this is not the best order for these sentences because they don’t answer the questions in the typical order that students ask. Based on answering the students’ questions, have them reorder the sentence strips. Discuss why this new order might be more effective in answering the questions. Notice that this is only an excerpt from a WASL paper and doesn’t constitute a 4 paper as it stands. Note: If you are using an overhead or document camera, cover all but the first line and reveal each line as it would appear in a PowerPoint.
  • Read the paragraph aloud.
  • This is another 2004 WASL paper. Again, as you click on the slide, text followed by questions (in red) will fly in. As you will see, the writer was not thinking of the reader’s questions, but was merely adding sentences. Discuss with students what could be added to the black text to answer the questions and tie the paragraph together. Or, have students rewrite in pairs and see how many different ways will work to elaborate the paragraph. Note: If you are using an overhead or document camera, cover all but the first line and reveal each line as it would appear in a Powerpoint. This is an excerpt from a paper that scored a 2.
  • Shared writing - Teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Have students fold a piece of paper in half vertically. Label the left column “Paragraph” and the right column “Reader’s Questions.” On the left side, students write the first sentence. Brainstorm possible questions and choose one (that goes into the right column). Brainstorm possible answers. Choose one and put it in the left column. Continue this process until the paragraph is complete. Discuss a variety of possible questions. Some students tend toward “why” questions. You should lead the discussion to promote a variety of questions. For example, Paragraph Questions I like when it rains. “Why do you like the rain?” When it is raining, we have indoor “What do you do for indoor recess?” recess. During indoor recess we get “What do you like to play inside?” to stay inside and choose different games to play. Sometimes we play “ Heads-up, Seven Up”, and at other times we play on the computers.
  • Partner Writing Activity Students now will complete the activity that you did on the last slide except it will be with 1 partner and the topic is snow instead of rain. Walk around and monitor. Help students as needed. After this activity, pair partners so that you have a group of 4. Have the first partners read their paragraph one sentence at a time. Before each additional sentence is read, the second partners should ask a question they have. Have the first partners read their next sentence and check if it answered the question asked. Continue until both groups have read their papers. Discuss as a class whether all questions were answered. “ How many of you had your questions answered?” “ How many of you had a question that was not answered?” “ This might be a wonderful time to revise your paragraphs to answer more of the questions.”
  • Your turn -- Students now take this topic sentence to complete a paragraph on their own. Example A dog makes a good pet. (possible question - Why?) Possible reason: loyal (possible question - Why is that good?) Add explanations to the reason (e.g., l like it that he comes when he is called and he sits by the door and waits for me to come home. That makes me feel safe.). Students may want to use the two-column method used previously where questions are written in one column and sentences that answer the question are written in the second column. Encourage students to give multiple reasons with elaboration, practicing the questioning strategy.
  • This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative.
  • Use the slide to define precise language. In the GLEs (3.2), grade four says “uses precise words.” If students aren’t familiar with this term it is defined in this slide. Compare the two examples. Notice the DETAIL in the second one. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative.
  • Chart words as students give you ideas. One way to chart is to use an alphabetic taxonomy which is a tool that has been used very successfully to help students learn new words. For directions on what it is and how to use it, see Alphabetic Taxonomy . doc in the document folder. The taxonomy works well for responsive teaching (differentiation) in that it supports all students (e.g., ELL, special education, gifted). Example: Rather than “the player put on her clothes,” precise language would be “the player put on her uniform.” Uniform can be used in other situations and mean something different, but in this instance it is still precise. Precise doesn’t mean unique.
  • Be sure you have a system in place for partner and group work -- (e.g., what are the rules and expectations). This is another good place to use an Alphabetic Taxonomy. For directions on what it is and how to use it, see Alphabetic Taxonomy.doc in the document folder. Have students discuss which words on their lists are the most precise and why.
  • This is an opportunity to brainstorm verbs as students frequently begin with nouns. This is another good place to use an Alphabetic Taxonomy. For directions on what it is and how to use it, see Alphabetic Taxonomy.doc in the document folder. After they fill out their taxonomy, have students demonstrate the precision of some of the words they have chosen (e.g., stride, tip toe, dash, crawl). Discuss how the verb affects the audience’s emotion or feeling. Example: The principal stomped down the hall. vs. The principal skipped down the hall.
  • Whole class Underline imprecise language on the slide (go to slide view in order to write on the slide) or overhead and then substitute precise language that the students generate. This piece needs more elaboration as well as precise language. Have students use precise language to elaborate as is shown below. Underlined words should be changed to be more precise. We can go to the game room and play video games . ( Answer the question what kinds of games.) We can play two player games. ( Answer the question which games.) We can play up to four player games. ( Answer the question which games.) There are tons and tons of games there . There is another example from the same piece of writing on the following slide.
  • This piece needs more elaboration as well as precise language. Have students use precise language to elaborate as is shown below. Underlined words should be changed to be more precise. You can learn ( answer the question -- What should we learn? ). You can learn stuff that you didn’t know about. You can learn about dinosaurs ( answer the question -- What should we learn? . The science center is awesome . ( Why?)
  • Use this slide to explain elaboration using reasons. Reasons are pieces of information or explanations that tell you WHY something is true. This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
  • Remind students that elaboration means “tell me more.” This paragraph has the basic ideas the student wants to convey, but it needs elaboration. This example is from a piece of expository writing (anchor paper, 2005) which asked students to write about an object that is important to them. On the following slide, we will see how the student elaborates by inserting a reason. You may want to look at other examples in the 4th grade anchor papers.
  • Help students see how the writer elaborates by inserting a reason. He didn’t stop with “he’s a big one”. The reader might ask “How do you know?” Click the slide to see how the writer continued to elaborate. Emphasize that the reasons answer the reader’s question.
  • Shared writing - Teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Discuss reasons to value friends. Have students help you write some reasons on chart paper. In the shared writing, guide students to extend the writing beyond a single reason. For each reason, they should think of questions the audience might ask about the reason and elaborate further. Example: Friends are important to me for many reasons. For one thing, if you are sick and miss school, a friend will bring you your homework. Also, a friend is someone to play with at recess or after school. My friends and I like to play kickball and tetherball. And our favorite thing is when we have a sleepover. We stay up late, have ice cream and cookies, and watch movies.
  • Opportunity for practice Have students elaborate by giving reasons. Have students either write their reasons in a notebook that will contain other strategies or collect the writing in a folder. Other topics for students to practice writing examples: Exercise is important. Bike riding without a helmet is dangerous. Pets can be trouble. Students should follow school rules. Select a couple of papers and display them using a document camera or putting them on an overhead or poster. Discuss with all the students what the main idea is and where the reasons are. Discuss how the reasons help elaborate the main ideas. Elaboration extensions: Have students find examples in WASL released papers. (www.k12.wa.us/assessment/WASL) Have students look for examples in literature.
  • Use this slide to define an example. Examples provide more specific information about an idea. Emphasize that the example must directly relate to the idea you are writing. In scoring the WASL, it has been noticed that students frequently end up with sentence fragments when giving examples that start with “for example” or “like” (e.g., “For example, wind, snow, and sleet.”) It may need to be clarified or taught how examples need to be sentences. This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
  • Remind students that elaboration means “tell me more.” This sentence has the basic ideas the student wants to convey, but it needs elaboration. This example is from a piece of expository writing (anchor paper, 2005) which asked students to write about an object that means a lot to them. On the following slide, we will see how the student elaborates by inserting an example directly related to this statement. You may want to look at other examples in the 4th grade anchor papers.
  • Help students see how the writer elaborates by inserting the examples of tricks into the writing. Emphasize that the examples directly relate to the original idea and are specific. This writer could have elaborated further by defining these tricks -- especially if the audience doesn’t know about skateboarding.
  • Shared writing - Teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Discuss activities for recess. Have students help you write examples on chart paper. In the shared writing, guide students to extend the writing beyond just a list of examples. Example: Recess can be many things to many people. Some students like active things, such as kickball, soccer, or basketball. Other students prefer quiet activities such as going to the library or being a teacher helper.
  • Partner activity
  • Opportunity for practice Have students elaborate by giving examples. Some students may simply list examples of activities and some may give more specific details including reasons for their preferences. Have students either write their examples in a notebook that will contain other strategies or collect the writing in a folder. Other topics for students to practice writing examples: Funny things sometimes happen at school. Pets can be trouble. There are many ways to demonstrate good manners. Select a couple of papers and display them using a document camera or putting them on an overhead or poster. Discuss with all the students what the main idea is and where the examples are. Discuss how the examples relate to the main idea. Elaboration extensions: Have students find examples in expository literature. Suggestions -- Donovan’s Word Jar, Monalisa DeGross, textbooks Choose a level two anchor paper from an expository WASL and have students insert examples to elaborate and improve the writing. (www.k12.wa.us/assessment/WASL/testquestions)
  • Use this slide to explain a definition. Definitions are restatements of an unfamiliar word or phrase to tell what it means. A definition may explain who a person is or what a term means that may not be familiar to the audience. For instance, a writer might need to define Gameboy terminology for an adult reader. This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
  • Remind students that elaboration means “tell me more.” These sentences have the basic ideas the student wants to convey, but it needs elaboration. This example is from a piece of expository writing (anchor paper, 2003) which asked students to write about an activity they enjoy doing. On the following slide, we will see how the student elaborates by inserting a definition to clarify a term, abbreviation, or who a person is. You may want to look at other definitions in the 4th grade anchor papers. (www.k12.wa.us/assessment/WASL/)
  • Help students see how the writer elaborates by inserting the definition into the writing. Emphasize that the definition helps to clarify the terms “internet” and “website.” Obviously, the student is aware that all of the audience may not be familiar with the internet and websites.
  • Add definitions of the tricks to this example we saw earlier. For more information, Google skateboard definitions or use the library.
  • Shared writing - Teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Discuss activities for recess. Have students help you write a paragraph on chart paper. In the shared writing, guide students to extend the writing defining activities. Example: Recess can be many things to many people. Some students like active things, such as kickball. Kickball is like baseball only you kick the ball instead of bat it. Other students prefer quiet activities such as going to the library or being a teacher helper.
  • Opportunity for practice Have students elaborate by defining terms. Discuss with students the importance of being aware of audience when deciding what needs to be defined. For instance, an adult may need some kid terms defined. Have students either write their definitions in a notebook that will contain other strategies or collect the writing in a folder. Discuss with students other terms or people that might need to be defined. Examples would be anything where you might ask: What is that? What does that mean? Who is that? What does that stand for? Select a couple of papers and display them using a document camera or putting them on an overhead or poster. Discuss with all the students what the main idea is and where the definitions are. Discuss how the definitions help clarify terms or people. Elaboration extensions: Have students find examples in literature. Suggestions -- textbooks Have students look at their own writing in search of opportunities to add definitions.
  • Use this slide to explain a description. Descriptions create pictures in the reader’s mind. This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
  • Remind students that elaboration means “tell me more.” This sentence has the basic ideas the student wants to convey, but it needs elaboration. This example is from a piece of expository writing (anchor paper, 2005) which asked students to write about an object that was important to you. On the following slide, we will see how the student elaborates by using a description to create a vivid picture for the reader. You may want to look at other descriptions in the 4th grade anchor papers.
  • Help students see how the writer elaborates by inserting the description into the writing. Emphasize that the description helps to clarify what the kittens looked like. The readers can “see” the kittens in their minds.
  • Shared writing - Teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Discuss aspects of the school playground. Have students help you write a paragraph on chart paper. In the shared writing, guide students to extend the writing beyond just a list of characteristics. Notice that this description could be used in a story or an explanation about the condition of the playground or even in a persuasive piece about the need for changes on the playground. Example: The doors swing open and you see a vast expanse of -- asphalt! It is surrounded by 6 foot high chain link fence. Here and there is a tetherball pole with an endless line of kids waiting to play. There are also some lines painted on the asphalt that match games for which we have no equipment. On the covered play court is a raucous game of dodge ball, endangering the lives of any who innocently pass by.
  • Opportunity for practice (See next slide for follow-up.) Have students elaborate by writing a description. Have students either write their descriptions in a notebook that will contain other strategies or collect the writing in a folder. Suggest other things or places that could be described: a place, a piece of furniture, clothing, etc. Select a couple of papers and display them using a document camera or putting them on an overhead or poster. Discuss with all the students what the main idea is and where the descriptions are. Discuss how the descriptions paint a mental picture. Elaboration extensions: Have students find examples in literature. Suggestions -- Hatchet, Gary Paulsen, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, J.K. Rowling Have students look at their own writing in search of opportunities to add description. Look at some level 2 anchor papers from the WASL and add descriptions to elaborate and improve the writing. (www.k12.wa.us/assessment/WASL)
  • Bring the class together and find out how many students were able to identify the object. Discuss what made the descriptions successful and helped the student identify the object. Another way to facilitate this activity is to have students black out all names of objects and do “read around groups” to see how many students can identify the object. (See Rags.doc in the document folder.) Discuss successful papers and what word choice made them successful. This discussion is the beginning of defining a rubric for what makes good word choice.
  • Use this slide to define an anecdote. The anecdote is a short story based on personal experience inserted into writing that explains an idea. Emphasize that the anecdote is not just any story, but must directly relate to the idea you are writing. This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
  • Remind students that elaboration means “tell me more.” This paragraph has the basic ideas the student wants to convey, but it needs elaboration. This example is from a piece of expository writing (anchor paper, 2005) which asked students to write about an object that means a lot to them. On the following slide, we will see how the student elaborates by inserting an anecdote directly related to this statement. You may want to look at other examples in the 4th grade anchor papers.
  • Help students see how the writer elaborates by inserting the story of finding the rock at Yellowstone into the writing. The anecdote connects the idea of “when I went to Yellowstone” with “the most beautiful purple crystal.” Emphasize that the anecdote directly relates to the original idea.
  • Shared writing - Teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Tell students about a scary first day experience you remember. Have them help you write the story on chart paper. Students can help you elaborate the story with real or imagined details. If you wish, you may have students think of stories of their own before telling yours. Example: I remember a first day that was really scary. Everyone had just arrived in class. The opening bell rang. And then the fire alarm went off. No one knew anyone. No one knew what to do or where to go. Chaos reigned.
  • Think, pair, share. Have students think about a time when they or someone they knew was scared on the first day of school. After students have time to think, have them share an idea with a partner. Share some ideas with the class. Discuss how the shared ideas relate to the topic of a scary first day of school.
  • Opportunity for practice Have students either write their anecdote in a notebook that will contain other strategies or collect the writing in a folder. Other topics for students to practice writing anecdotes: __________ is a great friend. Funny things sometimes happen at school. Pets can be trouble. Students at this school are so polite. Select a couple of papers and display them using a document camera or putting them on an overhead or poster. Discuss with all the students what the main idea is and where the anecdote is. Discuss how the anecdote relates to the main idea. Elaboration extensions: Have students find examples of anecdotes in expository literature. Suggestions -- Animal Bandits, Robert Henno, The Deep-sea Floor, Sneed B. Collard III Choose a level two anchor paper from an expository WASL and have students insert anecdotes to elaborate and improve the writing (www.k12.wa.us/assessment/WASL/testquestions)
  • Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative.
  • Share this slide and the following two slides with students.
  • It might be helpful to students to discuss nesting dolls and how they represent one sentence added to another and another, each developing further the previous idea. If you actually have nesting dolls or boxes, the tangible example is also useful.
  • Have students work with a partner. Give each pair of students an envelope with cut-apart sentences in it. You will find the document My blanket.doc in the document folder with sentences on separate lines to cut apart. Copy them on yellow paper. These sentences can be put in any order, since they are a list, and students will have different orders. Have several pairs read their order. Discuss the fact that there are discrepancies because this is a list. A list could be in any order. Text of the original “My Blanket” My blanket is very special to me. It is special because it was handmade. It’s special to me is because my sisters were the ones who made it. My blanket is very warm. My blanket is blue.
  • Have students work with a partner. You will find the document My Most Special Object.doc in the document folder with sentences on separate lines to cut apart. These sentences should be copied onto red paper and be included in the same envelope as the yellow strips. These sentences can be put in only ONE order, since they are layered. Have several pairs read their ordered paragraph. Discuss how each sentence builds on the previous one. Students who have difficulty with reading may need some extra support to put these in the correct order. Text of original “My Most Special Object” My most special object is my blanket. It was hand made by my sisters. When my sisters were going to make it, they asked me what my favorite color was. I told them blue. Now when I wrap my blue blanket around me, I feel my sisters’ loving hands, and it keeps me warm.
  • This slide is another example of listing. A less-skilled writer tends to confuse adding list-like information that does not develop the idea. This example gives an unrelated list of reasons that the author thinks the bracelet is special. Notice that the sentences could be in any order (as well as being repetitive) and do not make a strong piece of writing.
  • This is an example of what the previous paragraph might look like when it contains layered elaboration. Point out to students how each sentence builds on the previous one. For example, “When I entered my classroom” builds on “the first day I went to my new school.” The order is important. Have students discuss the difference between this paragraph and the list-like paragraph on the previous slide.
  • Shared writing - T eacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Have students brainstorm ideas for elaborating on this topic. Discuss how one sentence must build on the prior sentence and write a paragraph together.
  • After students have written their paragraphs, have them get into groups of four and share their papers with each other. They should check for intentional layering of details. Extension: Have partners turn in their paragraphs. Select several examples and type them with sentences on different lines. [Typing may be done by the teacher, a parent, or the students.] Cut the sentences apart, put them in envelopes, and pass them to students. Have partners put them in the correct order (as they did in the first exercise). Read paragraphs aloud and compare to the original. This activity will need to be repeated many times in partners before trying it independently. Topics may be changed. Any general sentence will work. Possible topic sentences: Summer is the best time of year. The dog was big.
  • An alphabetic taxonomy of possible topics may be done as a prewrite. The alphabetic taxonomy.doc can be found in the document folder. After students have written their paragraphs, have them get into groups of three and share their papers with each other. They should check for intentional layering of details. They may also note the elaboration strategies -- example, anecdote, and specific details -- if these strategies have already been taught. This exercise is a variation of a “Read Around Group.” For more information, see RAG.doc in the document folder. Extension: Have students turn in their paragraphs. Select several examples and type them with sentences on different lines. [Typing may be done by the teacher, a parent, or the students.] Cut the sentences apart, put them in envelopes, and pass them to students. Have individual students put them in the correct order (as they did in the first exercise).
  • What has preceded this unit is preparation for showing, rather than telling. Daily practice in showing, not telling is an effective way to impact students’ writing. Put a “general sentence” on the overhead or board. See examples below. Have students create showing sentences. In addition to impacting writing, this is a great entry task, sponge, or transitional activity. An example (notice the precise language and the answers to possible questions in the showing sentence) - A general sentence - My dog was playing. A showing sentence - Growling and slobbering, my 3-year-old black lab Grover tugged at the rubber bone I held in my hand. More general sentence examples - The movie was exciting. I walked home. The birthday party was fun. Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons. Everyone at the game was excited. The dog learned a trick. The building was tall. The building was old. The building was new. The cookies were colorful and good. Extension: Have students find examples in literature of “show, don’t tell.”
  • Students should be able to recognize and tell why the second example is more explicit and creates a mental picture. Also, the verb pushed is much stronger than the ”to be” verb was in the first sentence.
  • Read the definition to the students. Clarify any words they might not understand. Generate examples.
  • Read slide. Discuss the elaboration in the second sentence. See if students could add different descriptive words or phrases to this sentence. Shared writing - Teacher and students compose a coherent text together. The teacher writes while scaffolding children’s language and ideas. Whenever you do a shared writing lesson, put the writing on chart paper so that it can be posted as a reference for the class to see. An alternative to the charts is to have students write along with the teacher so that they have their own copies for reference. Do one or more examples together with the class on chart paper. Examples: She was a kind person. It was a big storm. The night was very dark. The movie was dumb.
  • Have students pick one of the sentences and rewrite it so they show, rather than tell. Tell students they may not use the underlined words. The goal is to make the reader see, hear, feel, touch, or taste the experience. It’s ok to write multiple sentences or multiple paragraphs. Have students get together in groups of four to share sentences. Each student will read one example out loud. The others listen quietly and then give feedback one at a time. They should tell the writer what they liked and make suggestions to add showing details. Extensions: If students are still having difficulty, go back to shared or partner writing. If they really get into the activity, they can try a second example as homework or an extra project.
  • This module is designed to be used with grades 3-5. Units are meant to be flexible and adaptable. Topics may be changed for different grade levels or as they better relate to your students. Review is imperative.
  • Read this paragraph orally to students or distribute copies and have students work in small groups or pairs. You can find this paper in the Document folder titled Pacific Science Center.doc . It is continued on the following slide. This is paper 4EA14 (2006 expository anchor papers) from the WASL. Notice that this is only an excerpt from a WASL paper and doesn’t constitute a 4 paper as it stands. There is also Pacific Science Center key.doc with elaboration highlighted for your use. Have students highlight or underline elaboration in the piece and (in the margin) label the strategy the writer used.
  • On the subsequent slides, elaboration is shown in another color and labeled as to strategy. Go over each of the slides with students, being sure that they understand how the elaboration is used.
  • This is a good opportunity to remind students that when they read text, “read like writers.” Have them intentionally look for elaboration strategies in all types of texts.
  • The slide that follows has the nine strategies reviewed.
  • Don’t be alarmed if student lists are incomplete. This slide is so that they can fill in the strategies they forgot. If your students are working on these strategies over time, you will find a document in the document folder elaboration strategies.doc that lists these strategies along with brief definitions. This can be copied and given to students as a reference.
  • There are seven papers in the assessment papers. We recommend that you read and analyze only one or two papers in one lesson. Do the first paper together as a whole class. Continue to work as a whole class until your students’ understanding will allow them to work with a partner successfully. Use individual samples from the Assessment papers.doc (in the document folder) and have students read them and discuss where elaboration is evident. Highlight examples of elaboration. They should also label the elaboration strategy in the margins. The discussion with a partner, among partner groups, and as an entire class is essential to help with understanding. Note: accurate identification of elaboration strategies is not as important as being able to identify what elaboration looks like or to be able to identify where elaboration is needed. Also for your use in the document folder are the annotations.doc for each paper. The elaboration score and reasons for the score are reflected in the annotations. The Elaboration Scoring Guide ( elem elab score guide.doc) is found in the document folder. Its intended purpose is to provide descriptors for each elaboration level and not just to assign a score. You may want to use it along with the assessment papers when your students have an adequate understanding of elaboration.
  • Students should write a complete piece as described here as a culminating project. This may be done as a writing project over time with teacher and peer support. You also have the choice to use this as a prompt in a WASL-like setting and make it an individual assignment. You may also change to another prompt. Move to the following slide after the writing is complete. On the following slides, they will be asked to read each other’s writing. You may want to let students know that some other students will have a chance to read their papers, and those students will be looking for elaboration strategies.
  • Collect papers from students. Ideally, you will take these papers and make one copy of each to be used for the following day’s activity.
  • Identify partner groups - two students in each group. Pass out copied papers (if that is a viable option) to students, making sure that no student receives his or her own paper or the paper of his or her partner. If copies cannot be made, originals may be passed out, but students will be asked to write on them. Model the process on the slide before sending students off to do this independently with partners. You may use one of the student papers to model or a WASL paper (available on the OSPI website). At the end of this process, collect all the papers.
  • Select one of the options as described below. Option one Have students return to their partner groups. Return the “copies” of yesterday’s highlighted papers to the same partner groups. (See names written at the bottom of the papers). Teacher will choose one elaboration strategy at a time. Have students look for examples of how writers used that strategy. Then have several students read / share examples of the featured strategy aloud to the class. If a document camera is available, this would be an excellent tool for showing the students’ writing. (Note that sometimes strategies have been mislabeled, and this becomes a teachable moment to clarify definitions of strategies.) Repeat this sharing process with each elaboration strategy as a focus. Option two Go through the papers and select examples of each strategy to share with the entire class. This is much quicker as a class activity and showcases some students’ work without regrouping students and redistributing papers. Option three Have students hand in the papers (last slide) with really good examples separated out to be shared with the class. In this way, the students get the first opportunity to analyze the strategies and the teacher can sort from those examples. Option Four As a class, review the Elementary Scoring Guide for Elaboration . Have students look at a student paper in its entirety, beginning to end. Identify where elaboration was used and how many different elaboration strategies were used. Refer to the bullet points on the Elementary Scoring Guide for Elaboration and have students think about what elaboration score the writer would earn – a 4, 3, 2, or 1. One method for this is to have students hold up the number of fingers that match the score they would assign to the use of elaboration as the teacher calls out each score value – 4, 3, 2, 1. Notice what score is most commonly selected. Invite several students to share why they think the elaboration earned a 4, 3, 2, or 1. As much as possible, let the students own this part of the conversation. Wrap up by referring back to the scoring guide and the teacher telling what elaboration score he/she would assign and why. Enjoy the celebration of students’ use of elaboration strategies.
  • When WASL papers were analyzed, elaboration was the most critical element for moving a level 2 writer to a 3 and a level 3 to a 4.
  • You may go to the OSPI website and download copies of “2” and “3” annotated papers to illustrate the need for specific, layered elaboration. ( http://www.k12.wa.us/curriculuminstruct/writing/annotations/4gradAnnotations)
  • Alignment with the GLEs GLE stands for Grade Level Expectations. 3.1.1 refers to elaboration in the GLEs. These are “expected” levels of performance for grade levels. The GLEs help teachers at all levels understand what should be expected each year.
  • More Grade Level Expectations in writing Style includes voice, word choice, and sentence variety. All play a role in elaboration. Often students who struggle with writing have limited vocabularies, and specific word choice is an important part of elaboration.
  • Writing plays an important role in other disciplines. The WASL asks students to demonstrate what they know through written explanation. In reading, students must write to explain and interpret the text.
  • Writing plays an important role in other disciplines. The WASL asks students to demonstrate what they know through written explanation. In math, students must write to explain how they solved problems. In science, students must write to explain, compare, describe, and evaluate concepts and processes.
  • Significant research has been conducted on the use of the writing process. Prewriting and revision play strong roles in effective elaboration. Specific, layered elaboration is basic to good writing. These books were particularly useful as we researched elaboration strategies. This bibliography includes books that might be included in a personal professional library as references.
  • These units were intentionally arranged in a logical order so that they build on one another. However, the units will stand alone, so that you may select a particular unit if it meets the needs of your students. Units vary in length. In many instances, WASL prompts were used in both the Elaboration Module and in the Prewriting Module. You may find that you want to teach lessons from one and apply them to the other.

Transcript

  • 1. Elaboration: Strategic Teaching To Improve Student Writing in Elementary Grades (3-5)
    • Credit: OSPI Elementary Instructional Support Materials for Writing [http://www.k12.wa.us/Writing/default.aspx ]
    • Teachers: See slides 95-104 for directions and alignment.
    • Each slide contains notes for lessons.
    • These materials were developed by Washington teachers to help students improve their writing.
    • My slideshare: Slides used in lessons and for student/family review.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 2. DEFINING ELABORATION Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 3. Students respond with…
    • “ Tell me more!”
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 4. Definition of Elaboration
    • Elaboration means to tell the reader more about an idea using
        • Answers to a reader’s questions
        • Specific words
        • Onion-like layering of detail
        • Specific strategies, such as reasons, examples, definitions, descriptions, and anecdotes
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 5. To elaborate, you need to…
    • Dig,
    • Dig,
    • Dig!
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 6. Elaboration – example one
    • This paragraph has little elaboration.
    • These are the things you need to know about being in fourth grade.
    • First the work will be a lot harder. You will have to name solids and do lots of math work. Next you will have to do writing assignments.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 7. Elaboration – example two
    • This paragraph has interesting elaboration.
    • I want to tell you about what type of projects you’ll have to do. Two things are dissecting a salmon and an owl pellet. An owl pellet is mostly like a fur ball. It’s something an owl chokes up after eating a large meal. You get my drift?
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 8. Using Questions to Elaborate Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 9. Questions the Audience (Reader) Might Ask
    • All kids have problems.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. What problems?
  • 10. Questions the Audience (Reader) Might Ask
    • All kids have problems. For example, kids don’t always get what they want.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Hmmm . . .what do kids want?
  • 11. Questions the Audience (Reader) Might Ask
    • Kids have problems. For example, kids don’t always get what they want , like staying up late.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Oh…now I understand. Kids want to stay up late. Why is that a problem?
  • 12. Using Questions for Elaboration
    • Think of ways to answer the question, “Why is not being able to stay up as late as you want a problem for you?” Discuss with a partner possible answers.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 13. Reader’s Questions
    • Did this writer answer the reader’s questions?
    • I have nice friends. They make me laugh and they teach me things at recess. My friends are Jay, Emily, Ann, and Andy. They taught me how to do tricks on the bars.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 14. Questions Asked by the Writer Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. I have nice friends. What makes them nice? They make me laugh and they teach me things at recess. Who are your friends and what do they teach you? My friends are Jay, Emily, Ann, and Andy. They taught me how to do tricks on the bars.
  • 15. Reader’s Questions
    • Did this writer answer the reader’s questions?
    • When I learned how to roller skate, I was only five years old. My mom taught me how to roller skate, but she kept on falling down. Soon I was the best roller skater in my family. And when I went on a field trip in second grade to Roller Valley, almost everyone was falling down.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 16. Questions Not Answered by the Writer Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. When I learned how to roller skate, I was only five years old. My mom taught me how to roller skate, but she kept on falling down. Then how did you learn? Soon I was the best roller skater in my family. So how did this happen? And when I went on a field trip in second grade to Roller Valley, almost everyone was falling down. What does this have to do with learning? How does it tie to your learning to skate?
  • 17. Reader’s Questions
    • I like it when it rains.
    • Let’s finish writing this paragraph together by thinking about what the reader would ask and answering the reader’s questions.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 18. A writing strategy…
    • Paragraph
    • I like when it rains.
    • When it is raining, we have indoor recess.
    • During indoor recess we get to stay inside and choose different games to play.
    • Sometimes we play “Heads-up, Seven Up”, and at other times we play on the computers.
    • Questions
    • “ Why do you like the rain?”
    • “ What do you do for indoor recess?”
    • “ What do you like to play inside?”
  • 19. Reader’s Questions
    • I like when it snows.
    • You are now going to get a chance to finish writing this paragraph with a partner. Think about what the reader would ask and then answer the reader’s questions.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 20. Using Questions for Elaboration – your turn
    • _____ makes a good pet .
    • Using this statement, think about what questions the audience might ask.
    • Write several sentences that elaborate and answer the questions you think the audience might ask.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 21. Using Precise Language to Elaborate
    • In order to select precise words, we need to broaden our vocabulary. We need to have lots of words from which we can choose. We need specific nouns, verbs, and adjectives.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 22. Using Precise Language to Elaborate
    • When we write, we need to select words that are related to the topic and tell EXACTLY what we mean.
    • General Precise
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. We had fun this weekend. On Saturday, Manuel, Sue, and I had a blast bike riding down Main Street. Afterward, we stopped for ice cream.
  • 23. Using Precise Language to Elaborate
    • If you were going to write about basketball , there would be many precise words that you might use, such as foul, court, hoop.
    • Brainstorm more words you might use to write about basketball.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 24. Using Precise Language to Elaborate
    • Choose your own topic from these:
    • soccer, drawing, school lunch, playground games
    • With a partner make a list of precise words that you might use to write about the topic you chose.
    • Find another student pair who chose the same topic and combine your lists.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 25. Alphabetic Taxonomies Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 26. Using Precise Language to Elaborate
    • Work with a partner for 5 minutes to make a list of words that mean “to get from one place to another.” For example, I walk . What other words can you find? How many can you find?
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 27. Using Precise Language to Elaborate
    • Look at the example below.
    • Help me underline words that are not precise.
    • Let’s substitute with more precise language.
    • We can go to the game room and play video games. We can play two player games. We can play up to four player games. There are tons and tons of games there.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 28. Using Precise Language to Elaborate – your turn
    • Read the example below.
    • Think about words that are not precise.
    • Rewrite the paragraph using more precise language.
    • Remember to think about questions your audience might ask.
    • You can learn. You can learn stuff that you didn’t know about. You can learn about dinosaurs. The science center is awesome.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 29. Using Reasons to Elaborate
    • REASONS – are pieces of information that help support your idea.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Smoking is bad for you. Kids who smoke at an early age are prone to heart attacks later in life. I think the class should go to the Pacific Science Center because you can learn and have fun at the same time .
  • 30. Idea that May Need a Reason
    • My dog is important to me. Our neighbors sometimes call him Clifford.
    • (One question the reader might ask is “Why do they call him Clifford?)
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 31. Using Reasons to Elaborate
    • My dog is important to me. Our neighbors sometimes call him Clifford because he keeps growing and growing and growing. He’s still a puppy, but he’s a big one.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. He’s almost 40 pounds.
  • 32. Using Reasons to Elaborate
    • It’s important to have friends.
    • Think of some reasons that we value friends.
    • Let’s write some reasons together.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 33. Using Reasons to Elaborate – your turn
    • It’s important to have friends.
    • Brainstorm a list of possible reasons.
    • Write about what makes your friends important to you.
    • Answer questions your audience might ask.
    • Use precise language.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 34. Using Examples to Elaborate
    • EXAMPLES – provide more specific information about an idea. This sounds like. . .
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. The dogs were all acting like they were crazy. For example, one jumped… Last week we had all kinds of weather like rain, wind, snow, and sleet. I love to do tricks when I jump rope. For instance, I can…
  • 35. An Idea Without an Example Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. When I go to the skate park, I do tricks my uncle taught me how to do on the skateboard.
  • 36.
    • When I go to the skate park, I do tricks my uncle taught me how to do on the skateboard. I grind on a ramp. I do 180’s and ollies.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Using Examples to Elaborate
  • 37. Using Examples to Elaborate
    • Think of some examples of a variety of things to do at recess.
    • Let’s write an example together.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. There are many different things we do at recess.
  • 38. Using Examples to Elaborate
    • A great friend does many things.
    • With a partner, think of some examples of what a great friend does.
    • Write an example together.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 39. Using Examples to Elaborate – your turn
    • There are many different things we do at recess.
    • Brainstorm a list of possible examples.
    • Write about what you like to do at recess.
    • Answer questions your audience might ask.
    • Use precise language.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 40. Using Definitions to Elaborate
    • DEFINITIONS – are explanations of an unfamiliar word, person, or abbreviation to tell what it means. This sounds like…
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Max is a labradoodle, which means he is half Labrador retriever and half standard poodle. Mr. Thurston, my generous soccer coach , took us to KFC, in other words, Kentucky Fried Chicken.
  • 41. An Idea that May Need a Definition
    • The thing I like most about the computer is the internet. My favorite websites are nick.com, amandaplease.com, and nike.com.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 42. Using Definitions to Elaborate
    • The thing I like most about the computer is the internet. The internet is a place where you go to different websites. Websites are places on the internet where you can buy things, play games, and listen to music. My favorite websites are nick.com, amandaplease.com, and nike.com.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 43.
    • Add definitions to this example.
    • When I go to the skate park, I do tricks my uncle taught me how to do on the skateboard. I grind on a ramp. I do 180’s and ollies.
    Using Definitions to Elaborate Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 44. Using Definitions to Elaborate
    • There are many different things we do at recess.
    • Think of some examples of a variety of things to do at recess.
    • Let’s write an example together.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 45. Using Definitions to Elaborate – your turn
    • There are many different things we do at recess.
    • Brainstorm a list of possible examples
    • Write about what you like to do at recess.
    • Answer questions your audience might have.
    • Use precise language
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 46. Using Descriptions to Elaborate
    • DESCRIPTIONS – are ways to create vivid images for the reader.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. [One of grandma’s hats] was box-shaped and covered with a veil. The veil was sprinkled with lots of glittery stars.
  • 47. Idea that May Need a Description
    • The kittens were a beautiful sight.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 48. Using Descriptions to Elaborate
    • The kittens were a beautiful sight. They were all different colors. Each one had brownish gold, black, white, and tan in blotches on their fur.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 49. Using Descriptions to Elaborate
    • The School Playground
    • Think of how you would describe your playground.
    • Let’s write an example together.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 50. Using Descriptions to Elaborate
    • With a partner, pick an object in the classroom.
    • Without naming it, write a description of it.
    • Find another partner group and read your description to them. See if they can guess the object.
    • Reverse roles.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 51. Using Description to Elaborate – your turn
    • Description can take many forms and still be effective. Be specific with your word choice. Try to create a picture in your reader’s mind.
    • Write a description of an object you can hold in your hand.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 52. Using Descriptions to Elaborate – follow-up
    • Read through your paper and substitute “it” for the name of the object.
    • Read your paper to another student.
    • See if he or she can guess what the object is from your description.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 53. Using Anecdotes to Elaborate
    • ANECDOTES – An anecdote is a short story based on personal experience inserted into writing that explains an idea. This sounds like. . .
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Pets can sometimes be big trouble. I remember the time when my friend’s … The students at this school are so polite. Once when I was in second grade, a kid …
  • 54. Idea without an Anecdote
    • My crystal rock means a lot to me. I got it when I went to Yellowstone. It was the most beautiful purple crystal my eyes have ever seen.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 55. Using an Anecdote for Elaboration
    • My crystal rock means a lot to me. I got it when I went to Yellowstone. So at Yellowstone my grandma and mom took me shopping. Suddenly I saw the most beautiful rocks. It was a rock store! My mom took me in the store. Then I saw purple crystals. So I asked my mom if I could get one. She said, “Yes!” Then I looked at every one carefully to make sure I got the one I wanted. Suddenly I saw it, the most beautiful purple crystal my eyes have ever seen.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 56. Using an Anecdote for Elaboration
    • The first day of school is sometimes scary.
    • I will tell you about a story of mine.
    • Let’s write it together.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 57. Using an Anecdote for Elaboration
    • The first day of school is sometimes scary.
    • Think of an anecdote (story) based on a personal experience that would help to explain this idea.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 58. Using an Anecdote for Elaboration – your turn
    • Write your anecdote about a scary time on the first day of school.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 59. Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Layering vs. Listing
  • 60. Layering Elaboration
    • A thoughtful writer layers one sentence after another.
    • Each new sentence adds to or develops the thought like rings around a bull’s-eye.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 61. Layering Elaboration
    • Each idea is carefully
    • stacked on the next
    • like bricks in a wall
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. or rings on a tall tree.
  • 62. Layering Elaboration
    • Every sentence and detail fits with the rest of the topic like a set of nesting dolls.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 63. Layering vs. Listing
    • You and a partner will receive an envelope with sentence strips in it.
    • Take the yellow sentence strips out of the envelope and put them in the order you think they should be arranged.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 64. Layering vs. Listing
    • Now take the red sentence strips out of the envelope and put them in the order you think they should be arranged.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 65. Listing
    • My bracelet is special to me. The bracelet means a lot to me because it gives me good memories of my friend. And because it is very special to me. It’s special in another way. It gives me good luck. That’s why my bracelet is special to me.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 66. Layering
    • My bracelet is the object that means the most to me. It means a lot because my bracelet brings me good luck. It brought me luck on the first day I went to my new school. When I entered my classroom I saw a girl with a bracelet just like mine. Her name was Talli. Now we are best friends and we wear our bracelets wherever we go. When I wear it, I think of all of fun times Talli and I have had and it reminds me that I have a great friend.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 67. Layering
    • Read the following topic sentence.
    • Together we will add sentences that develop the topic by layering.
    • Remember that each sentence must build on the previous one.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. The field trip was fantastic.
  • 68. Layering
    • Read the following topic sentence. With a partner take turns adding sentences that develop the topic by layering.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Dessert is my favorite part of the meal.
  • 69. Layering – your turn
      • Read the following topic sentence. Write a paragraph and practice adding sentences that develop the main idea by layering. The subject (in the “blank”) can be anything (rain, homework, my pet, commercials, etc.), but it can’t be a person.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. ________is very annoying.
  • 70. Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Show, Don’t Tell
  • 71. Show, Don’t Tell
    • What is the difference between these two sentences? Which one is better and why?
      • A. The room was a mess.
      • B. Rumpled bedspread, piled up clothes, and jumbled dresser greeted me as I pushed my way into the room.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 72. Definition of Telling and Showing
    • Telling is the basic idea.
    • Showing is the use of details, reasons, examples, definition, description, and anecdotes – elaboration – to create a picture in the reader’s mind.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 73. Show with Description
    • Telling
    • Today is a great day.
    • Showing
    • The sparkling sun is shining and breakfast is my favorite -- waffles, drenched with strawberries and whipped cream! My 100% math paper is stuck to the front of the fridge. I feel a win coming, with me as hero, at today’s game.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 74. Show, Don’t Tell – your turn
    • With a partner, discuss how to make these sentences
    • show, rather than tell.
      • Pick one and rewrite it on your own. You may not use the underlined words. Make the audience (reader) see, hear, feel, touch, or taste the idea.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. The dog was big . I was tired last night. The food was delicious . The desk is a mess .
  • 75. Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. Recognizing Elaboration
  • 76. Recognizing Elaboration
    • I think the class should go to the Pacific Science Center because you can learn and have fun at the same time. I think this is because as you walk through the door you see hermit crabs, and there is a whole bunch of fact poles.
    • REASON - The writer is giving a reason why you can learn and it is fun as well.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 77. Recognizing Elaboration
    • Almost everybody last year wanted to go there again. Most of the girls were terrorized touching the hermit crabs, but I wasn’t. They were disgusting!
    • EXAMPLE AND ANECDOTE - The writer gives an example why maybe some wouldn’t want to go back as well as a personal observation.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 78. Recognizing Elaboration
    • Currently, you can go into this little room where you can learn facts about bugs you hadn’t even known there were on earth. As you are getting out, there are big spiders, small spiders, and the ones you are going to be scared of.
    • EXAMPLES AND DECRIPTIONS - The writer describes and gives examples of different spiders.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 79. Recognizing Elaboration
    • Don’t stop reading now because you will walk into this room shaped like a box. You will see hundreds and hundreds of butterflies.
    • DESCRIPTION - The writer continues to elaborate on bugs by describing what else you will see.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 80. Recognizing Elaboration
    • You can’t touch them because the person in charge doesn’t want you to break their wings.
    • REASON - The writer tells us WHY we can’t touch the butterflies.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 81. Recognizing Elaboration
    • Before you leave you have to have a partner check to see if you don’t have any of the butterflies on you.
    • DETAILED EXPLANATION - The writer gives us additional detail about the exhibit.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 82. Recognizing Elaboration
    • Last year when I went to the Pacific Science Center the whole class got to play in the park. It was so much fun. When we were done playing in the park we went to go gaze at the beautiful and colorful art. Out teacher last year went into the pretend space ship. It could hold up to six people inside of it.
    • I think the class would like it a whole bunch. Maybe we will go, maybe we won’t. You never know.
    • ANECDOTE - The writer includes an anecdote about a previous trip to the Science Center.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 83. Recognizing Elaboration N
      • I think the class should go to the Pacific Science Center because you can learn and have fun at the same time. I think this is because as you walk through the door you see hermit crabs, and there is a whole bunch of fact poles. Almost everybody last year wanted to go there again. Most of the girls were terrorized touching the hermit crabs, but I wasn’t. They were disgusting!
      • Currently, you can go into this little room where you can learn facts about bugs you hadn’t even known there were on earth. As you are getting out, there are big spiders, small spiders, and the ones you are going to be scared of. Don’t stop reading now because you will walk into this room shaped like a box. You will see hundreds
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 84. Recognizing Elaboration – part 2
      • and hundreds of butterflies. You can’t touch them because the person in charge doesn’t want you to break their wings. Before you leave you have to have a partner check to see if you don’t have any of the butterflies on you.
      • Last year when I went to the Pacific Science Center the whole class got to play in the park. It was so much fun. When we were done playing in the park we went to go gaze at the beautiful and colorful art. Our teacher last year went into the pretend space ship. It could hold up to six people inside of it.
      • I think the class would like it a whole bunch. Maybe we will go, maybe we won’t. You never know.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 85. Recognizing Elaboration
    • If you can find elaboration strategies in someone else’s writing, you become more aware of them.
    • If you are more aware of them, you will become more thoughtful about threading it into your writing to. . .
    • TELL THE READER MORE.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 86. Recognizing Elaboration – your turn
    • Look through several papers that you have written. See if you can find different kinds of elaboration. Look for precise language, details, reasons, examples, definitions, description, and anecdotes.
    • Choose one paper that could have more elaboration. Revise the writing with several kinds of elaboration.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 87. Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. ASSESSMENT
  • 88. Putting it all together – your turn
    • Now that you have learned about elaboration, you will have a chance to use what you’ve learned.
    • With a partner, write the nine strategies you have learned that can help you to elaborate.
    • Meet with another pair to compare and combine lists.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 89. Elaboration strategies
    • Questioning
    • Layering versus listing
    • Show, don’t tell
    • Anecdotes
    • Reasons
    • Definition
    • Examples
    • Description
    • Precise language
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 90. Assessment
    • Look at the assessment papers and highlight or underline examples of elaboration.
    • Label the kind of elaboration that you find in the margin.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 91. Putting it all together
    • Prompt
    • Think of something that is important to you that you learned in school or outside of school. In several paragraphs, write a letter to your teacher explaining what you learned and why it is important to you.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 92. Assessment – your turn
    • Get out your final draft.
    • Erase your name.
    • Choose a number and a symbol. Write this number and symbol in place of your name.
    • Turn in your paper.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 93. Assessment – your turn
    • Write both partner names at the bottom of each paper.
    • With your partner, read one of the two papers you just received.
    • While you are reading, look for evidence of the elaboration strategies we learned, and use a highlighter to mark the elaboration each time you find it.
    • Talk with your partner to decide what elaboration strategy the writer used for the elaboration you just highlighted. (You may refer to your Elaboration Strategies sheet.)
    • In the margin, write the name of the strategy.
    • Do these same things with the second paper.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 94. Assessment – your turn
    • Today we will celebrate different ways we used elaboration in our writing.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 95. To the Teacher
    • Slides 1-11 are for teacher use. They include alignment with the GLEs, links to the WASL, and purpose of the units. Thereafter, the slides are meant for the students. The teacher directions are in the notes. You must download this document to print notes.
    • To use any unit, you must print and review the notes pages for the unit. This is done in the print menu. It is different for PCs and Macs, but you will need to find “Notes Pages” or “Notes” respectively in the print menu.The notes pages contain crucial instructions and supplementary materials for successful implementation.
    • Most of these units include partner and/or group work. A system needs to be in place for partner and group work (e.g., what are the rules and expectations). Units in these modules need to have extended practice. They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 96. OSPI Writing Instructional Support Materials Core Development Team
    • Nikki Elliott-Schuman – OSPI, Project Director
    • Charlotte Carr – Retired Seattle SD, Facilitator
    • Tanya Cicero – Auburn SD
    • Lydia-Laquatra Fesler – Spokane SD
    • Sharon Schilperoort – OSPI, Writing Assessment TOSA
    • Cec Carmack – Selah SD
    • Nancy Spane – Puyallup SD
    • Karen Kearns – Seattle SD
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 97. Purpose
    • To share teaching strategies that will help students develop writing that elaborates on a single idea and addresses the needs and interests of a particular audience.
    • Elaboration is critical for clear and effective writing.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 98. Link to the WASL
    • The quality of elaboration is directly related to scores on the Content, Organization, and Style portion of the Writing WASL. The best writing has multiple layers of relevant elaboration.
    • When WASL papers were analyzed, specific layered elaboration was the most critical element that differentiated between scores of “2” and “3” and scores of “3” and “4.”
    • Thoughtful elaboration is guided by the needs of the audience. Top scoring WASL papers show clear audience awareness.
    • Source: WASL scoring team, OSPI Standards Review Committee report
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 99. Alignment with GLEs - Writing Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. EALR 3. The student writes clearly and effectively. Component 3.1.1 Develops ideas and organizes writing. GLE 3.1.1 from 3.1.1 - 3rd Grade from 3.1.1 - 4th Grade from 3.1.1 - 5th Grade
    • Analyzes ideas, selects topic, adds detail, and elaborates.
        • Selects from a wide range of topics (e.g., friendship, volcanoes).
        • Maintains focus on specific topic.
        • Provides details and/or support (e.g., examples, descriptions, reasons).
        • Uses personal experience and observation to support ideas.
        • Develops characters, setting, and events in narratives.
        • Selects appropriate title for a piece of writing.
    • Analyzes ideas, selects a narrow topic, and elaborates using specific details and/or examples. 
        • Narrows topic (e.g., from general topic, such as “pets,” to specific topic, such as “My dog is smart.”).
        • Selects details relevant to the topic to elaborate (e.g., adds detail to each main point using more than one sentence; uses specific words and phrases, reasons, anecdotes, facts, descriptions, and examples).
        • Uses personal experiences, observations, and/or research to support opinions and ideas (e.g., collects, organizes, and uses data to support conclusions in math, science, or social studies).
        • Develops character, setting, and events within plot when writing a narrative.
      • Analyzes ideas, selects a narrow topic, and elaborates using specific details and/or example 
        • Narrows topic with controlling idea (e.g., from general topic, such as baseball, to specific topic, such as “The Mariners are my favorite baseball team.”).Selects details relevant to the topic to extend ideas and develop elaboration (e.g., specific words and phrases, reasons, anecdotes, facts, descriptions, examples).
        • Uses personal experiences, observations, and research to support opinions and ideas (e.g., data relevant to the topic to support conclusions in math, science, or social studies; appropriate anecdotes to explain or persuade).
        • Varies method of developing character (e.g., dialogue) and setting (e.g., through the eyes of a character) in narratives.
  • 100. Alignment with GLEs – Writing continued Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved. EALR 3. The student writes clearly and effectively. Component 3.2 Uses appropriate style. GLE 3.2.2 3.2.2 - 3rd grade 3.2.2 - 4th grade 3.2.2 - 5th grade
    • Uses language appropriate for a
    • specific audience and purpose.
        • Selects specific words (e.g., hollered vs. said ) and specialized vocabulary (e.g., transparent vs. clear ).
        • Selects interesting and effective words from various sources (e.g., multicultural literature, television, environmental print, cultural background).
        • Uses literary devices (e.g., onomatopoeia , alliteration).
    • Uses language appropriate for a specific audience and purpose.
        • Uses precise words (e.g., vivid verbs — screeched, hovered, absorbed; specific nouns — granite, longhouse, cedar ).
        • Uses specialized vocabulary in informational writing (e.g., tessellate, parallelogram, butte, carbohydrate ).
        • Uses literary and sound devices (e.g., similes, personification, alliteration).
    • Uses language appropriate for a specific audience and purpose.
        • Uses precise language (e.g., powerful verbs, specific descriptors).
        • Uses formal, informal, and specialized language (e.g., photosynthesis, ratio, expedition ) appropriate for audience and purpose.
        • Uses literary and sound devices (e.g., similes, personification, rhythm).
        • Selects words for effect.
  • 101. Alignment with GLEs Across the Curriculum
    • Reading
    • 2.2.1 Understands sequence in informational/expository text and literary/narrative text. (3rd/4th)
    • 2.2.1 Applies understanding to time, order, and/or sequence to comprehend text. (5th)
    • 2.2.3 Understands story elements. (3rd)
    • 2.2.3 Understands and analyzes story elements. (4th/5th)
    • 2.4.5 Understands how to generalize from a text. (3rd/4th)
    • 2.4.5 Understands how to extend information beyond the text to another text or to a broader idea or concept by generalizing. (5th)
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 102. Alignment with GLEs Across the Curriculum
    • Math
    • 2.1.1 - Analyzes a situation to define a problem.
    • 3.1.1 - Analyzes information presented in familiar situations.
    • 3.2.2 - Applies the skills of drawing conclusions and supports the conclusions with evidence.
    • Science
    • 2.1.3 - Understands how to conduct a reasonable explanation using evidence.
    • 2.1.5 - Understands how to report investigations and explanations of objects, events, systems, and processes.
    • 3.1.3 - Analyzes how well a design or a product solves a problem.
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 103. Bibliography
    • Calkins, L. Units of Study for Teaching Writing, Grades 3-5, Heinemann, 2006.
    • Gere, A., Christenbury , L., Sassi, K. Writing on Demand, Heinemann, 2005.
    • Graves, D. A Fresh Look at Writing, Heinemann, 1998.
    • Routman, R. Writing Essentials, Heinemann, 2005.
    • Zemelman, S. , Daniels, H., Hyde, A. Best Practice: New Standards for Teaching and Learning in America’s Schools, Third edition, Heinemann, 2005.
    • OSPI website - www.k12.wa.us/assessment/WASL/ WritingAssessment.aspx
    • Redirected to: http://www.k12.wa.us/Writing/default.aspx
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
  • 104. Elaboration Units Table of Contents
    • Defining Elaboration
    • Using Questions to Elaborate
    • Using Precise Language to Elaborate
    • Using Reasons to Elaborate
    • Using Examples to Elaborate
    • Using Definitions to Elaborate
    • Using Description to Elaborate
    • Using Anecdotes to Elaborate
    • Layering vs. Listing
    • Show, Don't Tell
    • Recognizing Elaboration
    • Criteria for Assessment
    Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.