Home Improvement Hell


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My Summer 2009: Misery at the hands of my Bob Vila wanna-be husband

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Home Improvement Hell

  1. 1. My Summer:<br />Home Improvement Hell<br />
  2. 2. My husband and I moved into our house on March 27, 2008. <br />We were two very excited first time home owners. <br />After some initial painting and what-not to customize the place to our taste, <br />we got a dog, and settled comfortably into our cute little house with our cute little puppy. <br />Or so I thought…<br />
  3. 3. Tim is a handyman…<br />
  4. 4. A very handyman…<br />
  5. 5. Tim Krysl’s<br />A little too handy if you ask me…<br />
  6. 6. I have often wondered if his Mr. Fix-it tendency occurs because things are actually broken…<br />Or because of his absolute inability to sit still!<br />
  7. 7. For him, summer is a cumbersome waste of time…unless it can be filled with…<br />
  8. 8. HOME IMPROVEMENT!!!<br />
  9. 9. At first, he started outside, making the front yard look great with some mulch and landscaping.<br />So far, so good…<br />
  10. 10. My lack of worry mostly stemmed from the fact that he brought his buddy in to help tackle the project instead of enlisting my services.<br />I didn’t even fret too much when he transferred his energy inside to tear up our bathroom and install ceramic tile.<br />
  11. 11. Through the fall and winter, Tim had enough run-of-the-mill home maintenance tasks to keep him occupied, and memories of the hectic summer somehow began to fade from my memory.<br />
  12. 12. We bought a houseful of furniture,<br />Tim got his giant, manly recliner,<br />and things finally felt settled. <br />Or so I thought…<br />
  13. 13. One day in late Spring, I came home to find Tim once again on the computer…<br />
  14. 14. AHHHHH!!!<br />
  15. 15. But then, I had an epiphany!<br />If you can’t beat ‘em, <br />join ‘em…<br />right?<br />
  16. 16. Ha HaHaHa<br />Ho HoHoHo<br />WRONG!<br />He HeHeHe<br />
  17. 17. Our first joint task was to transfer all items from the bedrooms into the kitchen and dining room.<br />BEDROOM<br />
  18. 18. So our lovely home went from neat and tidy…<br />
  19. 19. To Hell on Earth…<br />Right, like this is going to help anything<br />
  20. 20. And then came the sanding… <br />
  21. 21. Never have I seen so much dust…<br />
  22. 22. Sorry for the unfortunate view<br />And never have my knees hurt so badly…<br />
  23. 23. After the hardwoods were finally complete, it was on to pulling up the hideous old linoleum in the kitchen and dining room.<br />
  24. 24. This again meant emptying rooms and making messes…<br />The entire contents of the china cabinet and buffet on the counter…trying to cook was real fun.<br />
  25. 25. We could have shot a commercial promoting the long-lasting super-strength of that tile adhesive.<br />The situation in the kitchen was a cinch compared to the hallway…<br />
  26. 26. Sadly, this light is not the one at the end of my home improvement tunnel…I still have much pain to endure.<br />Finally, much to my relief, it was time to start tiling.<br />
  27. 27. However, since I put down every single stinking tile myself, it took quite a long time.<br />I was merely showing my husband that I had broken a nail during my 14 ½ hours of tiling.<br />
  28. 28. It was also completely exhausting.<br />The rolling pin I used to secure all 158 tiles…yes, I counted<br />It was also completely exhausting.<br />My feet stained red from the exploded chalk-box fiasco.<br />
  29. 29. But finally, after a never-ending month or so, our projects were completed and life was mostly back to normal again.<br />
  30. 30. How long will this peace last?<br />
  31. 31. And then I heard my darling husband say something about how the soffits needed to come down…<br />