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  • 1. Unscramble these sentences!
    • Walking into my new school, I feel like an outsider without anyone to talk to or confide in.
    • Starting a new school means having to make new friends and getting to know new teachers.
    • I really hate changing schools.
    • Because I am shy, I have trouble talking to people I don’t know.
  • 2. Writing the Paragraph Commentary Practice 1
  • 3. Sample Paragraph
    • I really hate changing schools. Starting a new school means having to make new friends and getting to know new teachers. Because I am shy, I have trouble talking to people I don’t know. Walking into my new school, I feel like an outsider without anyone to talk to or confide in.
  • 4. Sample Paragraph
    • TS: I really hate changing schools.
    • CD: Starting a new school means having to make new friends and getting to know new teachers.
    • CM: Because I am shy, I have trouble talking to people I don’t know.
    • CM: Walking into my new school, I feel like an outsider without anyone to talk to or confide in.
  • 5. What are the parts of a basic paragraph?
    • M: Main Idea / Topic Sentence
    • E: Evidence / Concrete Detail
    • A: Analysis / Commentary
    • L: Last / Link Sentence
  • 6. Basic Paragraph Structure
    • TS : Topic Sentence
    • CD : Concrete Detail
    • CM : Commentary
    • CM : Commentary
    • CD : Concrete Detail
    • CM : Commentary
    • CM : Commentary
    • L : Last Sentence / Link to Topic
  • 7. What is “commentary?”
    • Commentary is your opinion or comment about something ; it is not concrete detail. Synonyms include…
      • Opinion
      • Insight
      • Analysis
      • Interpretation
      • Inference
      • Personal response
      • Feelings
      • Evaluation
      • Explication
      • Reflection
  • 8. Sample paragraph 2
    • Driving in the fog to Worcester was a frightening experience. For example, no signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn’t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn’t read the exit signs until I started passing them. Furthermore, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us was allowed to pass him. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind.
    What do you notice about the paragraph? What is missing?
  • 9. Sample paragraph 2
    • Driving in the fog to Worcester was a frightening experience. For example, no signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn’t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn’t read the exit signs until I started passing them. Furthermore, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us was allowed to pass him. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind.
  • 10. Sample Paragraph 2
    • Driving in the fog to Worcester was a frightening experience. For example, no signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn’t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn’t read the exit signs until I started passing them. Furthermore, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us was allowed to pass him. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind.
  • 11. Sample paragraph 2 w/ commentary
    • Driving in the fog to Worcester was a frightening experience. For example, no signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn’t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. I panicked at the thought of being stranded alone in a strange place. I kept hoping to see a station materialize in the fog and felt incapable of making a decision. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn’t read the exit signs until I started passing them. I realized I had driven on for hours, dreading the never-ending blurring lines on the horizon. I was afraid that the weather would never lift and let me get back on schedule. Furthermore, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us was allowed to pass him. It was as though an invisible force field had been thrown up behind the patrol car. No one felt brave enough to dare going around him, and so we lingered behind for what seemed like hours. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind.
  • 12. Sample paragraph 2 w/ commentary
    • Driving in the fog to Worcester was a frightening experience. For example, no signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn’t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. I panicked at the thought of being stranded alone in a strange place. I kept hoping to see a station materialize in the fog and felt incapable of making a decision. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn’t read the exit signs until I started passing them. I realized I had driven on for hours, dreading the never-ending blurring lines on the horizon. I was afraid that the weather would never lift and let me get back on schedule. Furthermore, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us was allowed to pass him. It was as though an invisible force field had been thrown up behind the patrol car. No one felt brave enough to dare going around him, and so we lingered behind for what seemed like hours. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind.
  • 13. Sample paragraph 3
    • Saturday morning cartoons are often criticized by pubic officials because of their violence and themes. For example, critics describe coyotes jumping off cliffs, dogs and cats blackening each other’s eyes, and Martians planning to destroy the Earth. In addition, these same animals try to capture birds, carrots, or territory. Furthermore, when the fights are over, these same animals get food, toys, or candy as a reward for their behavior. Children’s programming needs to be changed to avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who watch them every week.
    What do you notice about the paragraph? What is missing?
  • 14. Sample paragraph 3
    • Saturday morning cartoons are often criticized by pubic officials because of their violence and themes. For example, critics describe coyotes jumping off cliffs, dogs and cats blackening each other’s eyes, and Martians planning to destroy the Earth. In addition, these same animals try to capture birds, carrots, or territory. Furthermore, when the fights are over, these same animals get food, toys, or candy as a reward for their behavior. Children’s programming needs to be changed to avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who watch them every week.
    What do you notice about the paragraph? What is missing?
  • 15. Sample paragraph 3
    • Saturday morning cartoons are often criticized by pubic officials because of their violence and themes. For example, critics describe coyotes jumping off cliffs, dogs and cats blackening each other’s eyes, and Martians planning to destroy the Earth. This violence may be realistic, but there is no accompanying realistic blood, pain, or mutilation. These scenes emphasize destruction and winning through physical harm to others. In addition, these same animals try to capture birds, carrots, or territory. The theme of these actions—greed and selfishness—is not appropriate for young children. The wrong values are encouraged, and children do not see any examples of peaceful resolution to problems. Furthermore, when the fights are over, these same animals get food, toys, or candy as a reward for their behavior. The idea that showing greed or inflicting pain is rewarded in any way, large or small, is a subtly distasteful message. If children see this behavior being successful on television, they have no reason not to try it themselves. Children’s programming needs to be changed to avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who watch them every week.
  • 16. Literature Commentary is DIFFERENT from Personal Commentary
    • In Literature Commentary
  • 17.
    • This shows that these students are not accustomed to the demands of high school homework.
    • Teachers in the middle grades need to raise their expectations for homework and academic work outside of class time.
    • For example, a large percentage of students in grades six through eight spend less than twenty minutes on school work outside of class time.
    • This shows that these students are not developing the habit of doing homework before they reach high school.
    • Another example is that 70 percent of students entering high school begin their first quarter with lower than average grades.
    • This also shows that students in the middle grades have too much time after school to waste on needless activities.
    • Students do not get enough homework in middle school.
    • This also shows that middle school students lack the study skills needed to be successful in high school.
    Unscramble this paragraph!
  • 18.
    • Students do not get enough homework in middle school.
    • For example, a large percentage of students in grades six through eight spend less than twenty minutes on school work outside of class time.
    • This shows that these students are not developing the habit of doing homework before they reach high school.
    • This also shows that students in the middle grades have too much time after school to waste on needless activities.
    • Another example is that 70 percent of students entering high school begin their first quarter with lower than average grades.
    • This shows that these students are not accustomed to the demands of high school homework.
    • This also shows that middle school students lack the study skills needed to be successful in high school.
    • Teachers in the middle grades need to raise their expectations for homework and academic work outside of class time.
    Unscramble this paragraph!
  • 19. … WRITING PRACTICE
    • Now its your turn…..