U&I MENTORING PROGRAM MENTOR TRAINING Developed by Mofei Xu Highland Street Corps-Ambassador of Mentoring AmeriCorps Volunteer 2011-2012
THANK YOU FOR VOLUNTEERING!PLEASE HAVE SOME REFRESHMENTS
WARM UP“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and apush in the right direction. ” –John Crawford Crosby (1859-1943)
OVERVIEW OF PROGRAM Goals: Help participants adjust to life in America. Help participants improve socially and academicallythrough one on one time with mentor and homework help. Develop meaningful relationships with mentors. Objectives: Six hours of one-on-one mentor time per month 45 minutes of nonverbal activities per week One field trip per month One parent orientation at the beginning of the program One end of the year celebration
CURRICULUMTime Activity2:45 Bilingual conversation period (will ease in English)3:00 Homework help/tutoring (stress practicing English)3:30 Fun/nonverbal activities to foster teamwork, confidence and self-esteem.
WHY MENTOR?• National research conducted on BBBS by Public/Private Ventures (1999;2001) demonstrates that at-risk children in mentoring relationships were: • 52% less likely to skip school • 46% less likely to start using illegal drugs • 26% less likely to start drinking • 33% less likely to use violence• MA youth in mentoring programs receiving state funding have shown the following improvements: • 85% showed an increase in self confidence • 77% showed an increase in self expression • 56% showed an improved attitude towards school
CREATE YOUR PERFECT MENTOR• Create a visual that reflects what your idea of a perfect mentor should be like.• For example: • A happy mentor with a happy mentee • A picture outline of a mentor with words inside.
A MENTOR IS…• Committed• Respectful• Actively engaged• Empathetic• Resourceful• Patient• Persistent and consistent• Flexible and open• Open-minded• Value driven
A MENTOR IS NOT…• A parent/legal guardian• Social worker• A psychologist• An ATM
PRIMARY TASKS OF A MENTOR• Establish a positive, personal relationship with mentee • Establish mutual trust and respect • Maintain regular interaction • Provide consistent support • Make your meetings enjoyable and fun• Help mentee with development of life skills • Work with your mentee to accomplish goals • Provide framework for developing broader life-management skills• Help mentee access resources • Provide awareness of community and educational resources • Act as a resource “broker” not a resource “provider”• Increase mentee‟s ability to interact with diverse people • Respect and explore differences among people and groups from various backgrounds • Provide an introduction to different environments
SCENARIOYou are paired with a mentee – Johnny – less than amonth ago. You have met with Johnny for threeweeks in a row. He has told you many times that hehates school and wishes he didn‟t have to go. Forthree weeks you have tried to get Johnny to sit downwith you to do homework. As soon as you get out thehomework, he gets out of his seat to talk to his friendsor plays with his phone and ignores you. You feelfrustrated because you can‟t get your mentee tofocus. You are constantly having to fight for hisattention and last week Johnny angrily reminded youthat you are not his teacher and can‟t make him dohomework. You left last week‟s session feeling hurt.What should you do?
WHAT’S YOUR STYLE?• Note the car pictures posted around the room. Go to the car that best represents your style.• Discuss with the “car” group why you selected this car and what it represents about your style.• Discuss how can you use your style to be a great mentor?• Select one person from the group to report back.
STAGES OF RELATIONSHIP• Stage 1: Getting to know each other • Be predictable and consistent • Anticipate testing • Establish confidentiality • Defining ground rules• Stage 2: Deepening the relationship • Getting closer • Affirm the uniqueness of the relationship • Deal with ups and downs • Seek support from staff• Stage 3: Time to say goodbye
BOUNDARIES & POLICIES• Types of Boundaries: • Physical • Don‟t allow inappropriate behaviors to be initiated by the mentee – set ground rules (refer to Unacceptable Behavior Policy) • Don‟t be alone with the mentee under any circumstances • Emotional • Don‟t attempt to replace or become the mentee‟s family • Don‟t try to „fix‟ the mentee – you are not his/her psychologist • Social • Don‟t initiate/respond to contact outside of program space and time • I.e. do not friend your mentee on Facebook • Don‟t attend social gatherings even if mentee or mentee‟s family invites you – blame the program policy• Program policies • Confidentiality • Transportation • Overnight Stays • Unacceptable Behavior
SCENARIOYou are paired with a mentee – Lee – less than amonth ago. You have met with Lee for three weeks ina row. You are getting along really well and Leealways tells you he enjoys spending time with you.Recently he told you it is his birthday soon and invitedyou to his party. You have told him that you can‟t buthis mother saw you in the supermarket and askedthat you would please come. You really like Lee anddon‟t want to hurt his feelings. Last week, Leethreatened to stop coming to meetings if you do notgo to his party. What should you do?
OOMPA LOOMPA GAMEPlease split up into two groups and wait forinstructions.
COMMUNICATION SKILLS• Active listening • Eye contact • Body language – open and relaxed, forward lean, positive gestures • Verbal cues – um-humm, sure, ah, yes etc.• Paraphrasing • Decipher fact: “So you are saying….”, “You believe that…”, “The problem is…” • Decipher feeling: “You feel that…”, “Your reaction is…”, “And that made you feel…”• „I‟ messages • DO: Avoid judgments, help keep communication open, respect for both people • DON‟T: accuse, point a finger at the other person, place blame• Open ended questions • “Can you give me an example?”, “What part did you play?”
ROADBLOCKS• Ordering, directing, commanding• Moralizing, preaching – should‟s and ought‟s• Teaching, lecturing, giving logical arguments• Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming• Withdrawing, distracting, using sarcasm, humoring, diverting• Disregarding communication styles or needs
SCENARIOYou are paired with a mentee – Michelle – less than amonth ago. You have met with Michelle for threeweeks in a row. Michelle is very quiet. You have triedfor the last three weeks to encourage her to talk byasking her about school, friends and family. Everyattempt you make at conversation is quickly squashedby Michelle‟s difficulty to overcome her shyness. Youare starting to get very frustrated by the situation anddoubt whether Michelle is even interested in having amentor. What should you do?
POINTS TO REMEMBER• Show up on time; don‟t leave early• Shut off your devices• Praise – even the little things• Listen and be attentive• HAVE FUN!!!!!• Seek support if you are struggling• You ARE making a positive difference in the life of a young person• CHECK/RESPOND TO EMAILS!