As cruel as God’s wrath has been purported to be by ancient scribes andscholars, I would highly doubt that zombies would be unleashed by ourcreator. This is mainly for two reasons:1) The concept of zombies now differs greatly with concepts of the undead in antiquity—in other words, John the Revelator and Zechariah were talking about something completely different than George Romero.2) If the end were nigh, I think God would do something much flashier, because he’s such a flamboyant bitch about destroying civilizations.You never know, zombies could be some kind of divination to punish us,but I suspect this would be the least likely source of the newly undead.
• As I’ve stated in the previous Z-Week entry, we already know of cases of “zombies” under the control of a priest or priestess schooled in the ways of Vodun. A toxic mix of chemicals is used to induce a permanent trance-like state. The zombie still retains basic motor functions but is a mental vegetable. This sounds a bit more ominous given that these dark arts are still practiced in circles all over the world. As you’ll see in tomorrow’s entry, one of the most notorious criminals in American history tried to create a small group of personal zombies.• While the practical application of alchemy and witchcraft to create the “undead” is there, the possibility for a worldwide Zombie Apocalypse is about as likely as God smiting us with mindless cannibals.• How would one person, or even a group of people, introduce chemicals into the population on the scale of entire cities, let alone states and countries? While I love the idea of Papa Shango dancing around a wrestling ring with hordes of mindless slaves, it doesn’t seem possible.
• I think the germs stand the best chance at delivering us a Zombie Apocalypse. In fact, most of Hollywood seems to think that a long dormant virus, biological weapons or mutated bacteria will spread through humanity like wildfire and make us ravenously hungry for each other’s brains. This is certainly possible, especially if the disease hops a ride with something like the common cold or flu. If it managed to either disguise itself as something more benign or hid with another routine medical malady, virtually overnight entire countries would be swarming with zombies and those carrying the zombie virus.• Video games, movies, TV shows and books have all touched on the consequences of this more eloquently than I can—except the Resident Evil movies, fuck them, they suck shit—but I think the biological route is the most plausible.
• All it takes is one weapon test that gets out of control; some kind of calamity in the lab where they do viral research at the CDC; one lost tourist sustaining a bite from an exotic animal species…you get the idea.• It also allows for something I call “pseudo-zombies.”• Pseudo-zombies, PZsfrom here on out, are those that aren’t dead but display the mindless and cannibalistic tendencies of their truly dead brethren. Movies like 28 Days Later, The Crazies and Slither are chock-full of PZsand they were all altered by biological means.
• This sounds relatively stupid but—no this sounds extremely stupid, but you have been following a slide show about zombies, so who’s the real idiot? Anyway, this sounds stupid but I think a PZ outbreak is far more likely to wreak havoc on us than a cluster of reanimated corpses.• When the shit hits the fan, you better hope the PZsaren’t like the ones in 28 Days Later, and if they are, I hope you’ve been following Rule #1.
Until tomorrow…keep your head on a swivel and stay safe out there