To Everything There Is a Season, Part 2 (LDS)

To Everything There Is a Season Part 2: Sacred Boundaries November 29, 2009

We can and must do a much better job as parents and leaders in teaching our children and youth about sexual purity.

Teaching about sex is primarily the parents’ responsibility. But family and Church leaders should also support parents.

Our lives and happiness are protected by sacred boundaries.

Chastity is the fortress that protects love, self-respect, relationships and the family.

The temple is a symbol of that fortress.

Physical intimacy between a married man and woman is a beautiful, powerful, sacred bond.

For married couples, physical intimacy, when properly expressed, is the key to emotional and spiritual unity.

Respect is the key to trust, and trust is the key to enduring, romantic love.

When expressed with gentleness, great respect and unselfishness, physical intimacy heals the marriage relationship.

When expressed outside of sacred boundaries, physical intimacy always has painful and often disastrous or devastating consequences for a lot of people.

Who Will Your Choices Affect?
Partner
Parents
Brothers and sisters
Grandparents
Cousins
Close friends
Acquaintances
Church leaders
School teachers
Your future spouse
Unborn children
Others

If you enter into a physical relationship too soon, you too often make life commitments before you are emotionally ready.

Foundations for Enduring Relationships

Respect

Respect Trust

Respect Trust Love

Respect Trust Love Physical Affection

Respect

Respect Trust

Respect Trust Love

But as we seek acceptance or popularity, attention and affection, we sometimes do so without a foundation.

Physical Affection

Physical Affection Respect

Physical Affection Respect Trust

Physical Affection Respect Trust Love

Physical Affection

Love Physical Affection

Respect Love Physical Affection

Soothed by rationalizations, we step across sacred boundaries, and often talk ourselves into doing things that we would not otherwise do.

Aaron Wilburn: Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and the Lord

“ Satan may tempt you to rationalize that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable when two people are in love. That is not true.” — For the Strength of Youth, p. 26

Guardrails

The Holy Ghost Do you have it with you?

You are the first and most important guardrail. It’s about what is going on inside of you. No one can protect you like you .

“ Necking, petting, intimacies and improprieties of every kind should not be indulged in at any time in dating or in courtship. Love and affection are precious, and virtue must never be placed in jeopardy.” — For the Strength of Youth (1965), p. 13.

“ Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. Dating before then can lead to immorality, limit the number of other young people you meet, and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner.” — For the Strength of Youth (2001), p. 24

If you are “going out” before 16 or steady dating after 16, you have crossed a sacred boundary and are in danger.

When you cross that boundary, you may not have the protection of the Spirit.

Familiarity leads to boredom which leads to experimentation which too often leads to transgression.

You may not want to date at all. That’s okay. There is plenty of time for dating later.

“Going Out”
“No one has asked me out. What’s wrong with me?”
“Me too! Me too! I can go out too!”
A steady, romantic relationship should only happen when you are of marriageable age

Okay Before Dating Age
You can be good, old fashioned friends!
Talking together in groups, such as at Mutual, school, dances, parties
All with your parent’s knowledge and approval
Electronic communication is not a substitute for face to face relationships

Not Okay Before Dating Age
Pairing off
Two people intentionally alone is essentially a date
Physical affection with romantic intent
“ Accidental” meet-ups

Early romance often slows and stunts emotional and spiritual growth.

You will develop confidence in yourself through friendship and social interaction, not romance.

How do you show affection when dating?

When is it appropriate to hold hands?

When is it appropriate to hug someone?

When is it appropriate to put your arm around someone?

When is it appropriate to kiss someone?

Having the Spirit with You
Your greatest safeguard is to have the Spirit with you all the time
Draw close to the Lord through daily prayer, scripture study, attendance at Church, Mutual, seminary
You must be willing to be obedient
You must repent

Joseph and Potiphar’s wife: What happened?

“ How...can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” —Genesis 39:9

Joseph had integrity with himself, he had the Spirit, and he knew who he was.

You can, too. But it’s up to you.

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To Everything There Is a Season, Part 2 (LDS)

by Michael James Fitzgerald

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