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Contestant, 2002

Contestant, 2002

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  • 1. Cakewalk ReconnaissanceUniversal Methods, Inc.June 13, 2002
  • 2. PROBLEM• The fruitcake – Dense – Heavy – Intended for consumption, but never consumed – Only one method of disposal
  • 3. PROBLEM continued• The fruitcake – Scientifically indistinguishable components deem “hazardous material” Winchester Town Code 47.2 (b)(a)(d) Cambridge Municipal Code Hazardous including 12.34 (y)(u)(k) like with with with which metal components with Hazardous materials including mercury, Bush bumper paints paints brushes stickers, fruitcakes, and nuclear waste, must be disposed and German Shepherd with special permits but always outside of in accordance the Republic.
  • 4. IMPORTANT REQUIREMENT• Regifting• Tracking – No accidental regifting – Knowledge of friends treatment of gift
  • 5. SYSTEM• Tracking – Cake is fully wired, wireless, HSE, WAN, LAN, Windows, Martha (Stewart) compatible• Reporting – Sortable, portable (PDA), and deductible
  • 6. ADDITIONAL FEATURE • Global Positioning System (GPS) technology stimulates family learning – Create home geography lessons – Promotes multiculturalism
  • 7. PORT-ABLE• Not the drink - but the connection• Serial not cereal
  • 8. TEAM CMB Chief Master BakerCJE CFOChief Jellied-Object Engineer Chief Filing Officer Bob Sous Vice President Intellectual Property Counsel
  • 9. FISCAL YEAR* POUND FOR POUND1009080706050403020100 6/02 7/02 8/02 9/02 10/02 11/02 12/02 1/03 2/03 3/03 4/03 5/03 6/03 7/03 * 13 Months—baker’s dozen
  • 10. RECIPE FOR SUCCESS14 eggs1/8 teaspoon salt1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract1 cup white sugar1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour2 teaspoons lint from dryer vent2 ISMD-III IC microchips4 ft of those little yellow wires