A SNAPSHOT AT 7 AM Raw A jewel in the rough So many R’s in her energy Not a single R in her name Sleeping with you is like sleeping with a wild stallion I caught a cold And I guessed you haven’t been properly caressed in ages It’s so funny with you: You are and you are not Most convenient most heartbreaking When I look at myself in the mirror I see the usual runaway And the gorilla mentioned by Pema I close my eyes ‘cause I can’t stand the picture Therefore I touch my eagerness Will I let it be? I see the child I see the middle aged woman With space no space Sleeping with you is/was tough: A wild stallion being chased on a bed
A SNAPSHOT AT 4:35 PM yellow lust red fear green eagerness orange sadness white joy black mixture of all a self-created vibrant and oh so attractive rainbow pounding like a dying heart –not slowly a radioactive magnet an exploding oxygen atom an exploding hydrogen atom an exploding sodium atom a cadmium atom
A SNAPSHOT AT 9:30 PM Jumping on a bed just for the sake of it is not fun. It doesn’t show any kindness to the world or to your self It only makes you jumpy. The opposite not necessarily means being fettered to someone -the one you jump on the bed with or someone else for that matter. It is softer to have you asking how I’ am. Otherwise it is disheartening disheartening disheartening
A SNAPSHOT BEFORE LUNCH I make love to you all naked Take off my rings, my watch, my earrings I only leave on my protection cords Not to be protected against you But against my own little self
SNAPSHOT AFTER TALKING TO YOU Words come to me uninvited A little magical A little too exciting A little mystifying A little much too deep Somewhat happy & uncertain Somewhat far out & ordinary Somewhat promising & defeating Somewhat baffling & clear I lay at the Séche Tes Larmes Cafe And it is like I have a crush on you And infatuation for you Real love with you A something that slips along my cunt A dripping affair An unfathomable subject matter And at the Séche Tes Larmes Café They play a song that says: “ Don’t let me go, babe. “ Don’t make me stay, honey”.
A SNAPSHOT AT ALMOST 10 PM I spin ‘round my celuphone I wonder if it is proper to call you up Mum is not here to give me good advice And though I cry for Guru from afar I get no clear answer. So I ring some other girls All of them with pretty names Wonderful smiles & beautiful tits: Unable to prompt a pretext to contact you I naturally let myself be entertained by someone else.
A SNAPSHOT WITH ELECTRICITY The egotistic monster eats like Patti’s cannibals I let her devour my left leg While I play at being Alice’s nice girl Stars stars high up in the sky. It didn’t really run smoothly. It was not slow only despairing I always knew I had to leave Like Robert’s rambling babe.
A SNAPSHOT WITHOUT ELECTRICITY It is like falling from my eagerness into an abyss Like acknowledging my best friend is a she-dog The abyss is quite sad not tender though. When that girl told us she had been abused A crystal drop wetted my arm.
A SNAPSHOT AT 7:50 I’m making a real effort Not to conceptualize that relationship I walk on harsh carpets Sleep in noisy bedrooms Knit a carpet of broken promises to myself Read about the gigantic NO And I can hardly understand its meaning Let alone put it into practice. Maybe it is just another concept If I take it like that Like that relationship I’m trying real hard not to conceptualize. NO
A SNAPSHOT AFTER A SHOWER I laugh loudly at my romantic stand towards life I deem it funny I feel so old-fashioned And way too serious Then I’m struck by a lightning of certainty: I can eat popcorn seasoned with tears. I would, But you, Claudia Scissorhands Say I want to name it all, To trap it all inside a framework of words Even if it is true It doesn´t really change who I am: A romantic slot A tear-eater A quick quark coming for you today