Dan WalzM.C. & Celebrant As some of you know, Gene is not able to be here this morning. He was rushed to hospital with an apparent case of kidney stones. He’s resting comfortably in hospital. When Kathy passed away, Gene asked me to act as a sort of Master of Ceremonies today. I am Dan Walz, Gene’s brother. [Tells a short story about Gene & Kathy] I’d now like to introduce a close friend to Kathy, Carol Free. [Dan, Michelle & Leah surprised to see Sandy & Sadie join Carole as they’d decided to read their pieces personally]
Carole Free Friend I first met Kathy at St George School. Our Resource Team was working on a literacy outreach program. We needed toys to match up with the books. Our principal suggested I talk to Kathy. She invited me to yard sale with her the next weekend. We hit over 30 sales (in rural areas 2 or 3 for a weekend was considered very good) and so we embarked on a personal as well as professional friendship. (Our average yard sales a weekend was 50 - 70, our all time high was over 100). The forethought and planning required to do this was characteristic of Kathy. She applied the same approach to planning our RV trips to the southwestern states - maximizing the adventure on each trip. In a short period of time we would visit many remarkable sites. Always living in the present and to the max! There were so many remarkable experiences that choosing a favourite would be difficult - perhaps the balloon ride during the Albuquerque Balloon Festival or a visit to the Wild Horse Sanctuary or national monuments or ??? so many great places!!!
Carole Free Friend Kathy was a committed photographer - as in many other things, I learned from her. Her photos have been chosen by municipalities and companies for marketing brochures and tourism PR. She had so many requests that she eventually started asking a small fee. This money was donated to support various projects. Her generosity included encouragement as well as financial support. She was able to express her faith in others in specific terms that validated that person’s goals/dreams.
Carole Free Friend I trusted her intelligent advice and perspective completely - professionally and personally. We had many interesting discussions as we analyzed the learning and behaviour patterns of our students. Kathy was always looking for strategies to help students and teachers in the classroom. Kathy did not limit herself to contacts within the building or school hours. When we were out and about, I saw parents often speak with her - always with respect and gratitude for her help with their children. She was direct and honest but compassionate as she worked with families and staff. Her suggestions were clear and practical - refreshingly helpful. She truly enjoyed working with the children - her toy stash was legendary - many toys having specific diagnostic or therapeutic purpose and a few just for fun.Kathy had a tremendous capacity to connect with people - children and parents, staff, people she met on trips - Iwould see this repeatedly.
Carole Free Friend Although she was gracious and dignified, Kathy could be whimsical/humourous - on one trip she purchased a very realistic faux tattoo sleeve - the photo caption was “do you think they’ll like it??” knowing full well her family would be shocked/horrified if they thought it a real tattoo. During census in Nunavut Kathy was bitten by a dog badly enough to require some medical treatment. She took a picture of that dog and took great delight in telling the story and THEN showing us the photo of the dog - it looked like a tiny pomeranian cross - a little piece of fluff! She had inadvertently gotten between the tiny dog and her pups. Kathy was a strong, loving wife and mother/grandmother. In the midst of travel adventure she was in constant communication with them - they were never far from her thoughts. For Kathy, travel was a heart’s desire from the time she was a young girl. She was a traveller in spirit and in fact.
Carole Free Friend For me, travel with Kathy was a welcome bonus. The real bonus though wasKathy herself and being included in her life. Thank you.
Sadie Bury Friend Kathy and I met about 24 years ago when we came back to the Canoe Club to play badminton. We spent many hours there watching our kids practice and play tournaments. Kathy and I were always together on the badminton draw desk running tournaments. We traveled together across Canada to watch Greg, (my son), Michelle and Leah play. It didn’t take long for us to lose our identity. We were no longer Mrs. Bury or Mrs. Walz. We became Greg’s mom, Michelle and Leah’s Mom. When Kathy moved to River Road, we became walking partners, going for our Buddy walks. During those bitter cold mornings we would phone each other and ask “ What do you think” should we go for a walk?’ Of course we always did, bundled up like two Inuit.
Sadie Bury Friend On our Buddy walks, Kathy could not pass by a garage sale without checking it out. She always kept a couple of dollars in her pocket just in case she would find something of interest. She was always trying something different. One year she convinced me to do the Election with QuickTimeﾪ and a her. She was calm, cool and collected taking in the ballots, I was a nervous wreck. She decompressor traveled to Nunavut and Iqaluit to do the censusare needed to see this picture. as well. She loved a challenge. I am so glad that Kathy and Gene managed to visit with us at our cottage in Temagami this past summer. Kathy was busy taking pictures everywhere and she quickly understood why Phil (my husband) loved Temagami so much. Kathy, we will miss you.
Sandy Gray Friend Thinking of Kathy today evokes many emotions and thoughts for me right now…. a little jumbled up… and way too many to share in a short time. Two words that continually pop into my head constantly when I remember Kath are always there. Kathy was always there for the children and families she worked with: no time was too early or too late to meet no task too big no difficult situation was avoided ; it would be addressed gently, honestly and with only positive encouragement all children were worth fighting for Kathy had no problem advocating for her children and families! Kathy’s reliability and support carried over to all who worked with her, both in the work situation and private lives.
Sandy Gray Friend Getting to know Kathy better over the years uncovered a whimsical side of her that I enjoyed: catching her skipping down the hallway at school her love of feathers… . (have you seen her Christmas tree?) the big silver ball in her garden the Inukshuks built from the snow in her front yard her love of collecting little things, and, of course, her school office full of every imaginable thing that would catch the eye of any child ……. and many an adult!
Sandy Gray Friend Kathy’s artistic talent is diverse I believe, but I will always remember the drawing of her dog, Buddy, that hung on my office wall….. it was beautiful. However, the most fascinating artwork took place at our monthly meetings! Her doodles were the smallest, neatest design creations that I have ever seen…. They absolutely fascinated me. (Yes….we were paying attention!) She also had the smallest neatest printing…. it came in really handy for filling out meeting note sheets. Kathy’s artistic eye was great for form and function also. As a result she ended up helping me arrange several offices…… perhaps that talent came more from the fact that CGC clinicians never know where they’re going to be stuck in various buildings and have to become creative with space!
Sandy Gray FriendI particularly admired Kathy’s approach to life. Live with IntentionAs well as “being there” for others, she lookedafter herself, and created a life she enjoyed. Listen Hard(How many places did she see in her first year ofretirement?.... Germany, African Safari…. thiswoman knew how to retire!) Practice wellnessTo close, I’d like to share a few words written by Play with abandona writer from Oregon whose writings “include acommitment to passionate intentional living, Laughvaluing wellness, and embracing themoment”. Choose with no regretThese simple statements make me think of Appreciate your friendsKathy. Perhaps they are thoughts she’d like us allto consider. Do what you love Live as if this is all there is -Maryanne Radmacher.Hershey ‘95
Dan WalzM.C. & Celebrant [Dan: agrees with Carole, Sadie and Sandy’s assessments about always being there and shares a story of Mom & Dad’s wedding at the picnic thereafter].
Michelle Walz DaughterMy Memoriam could probably be reduced to just one sentence:I was fortunate enough to call Kathy Walz my Mom.
Michelle Walz Daughter Growing up, I was always Daddy’s Little Girl, tourists often asking Dad if I was Shirley Temple (yes, 50 years late!), but I was also very close to my Mom. My nights were often spent talking to Mom in her bed and then reading a novel by her side, falling asleep with my nose between the pages, Dad then carrying me into my room when he came to bed. Mom was always there, whether that was to chauffeur me to my many sporting events, provide a shoulder to cry on, or just be there to talk or to listen. When I moved abroad over ten years ago, our relationship actually grew stronger. The Internet- age had arrived so emails were regularly exchanged, then instant messages, and most recently Skype calls, Flickr photos and Facebook.
Michelle Walz Daughter Four years ago, our relationship grew even stronger: I was becoming a Mom. So many things Mom had said, done, not said or not done now made sense. Why did the dishes not get done after dinner, but instead she waited until morning? So she could spend quality evening time with us rather than plop us in front of the T.V. She saw me grow as a Mom and I in turn saw her become a Grandma and now knew – as I really always had before – just how lucky I was to call her my Mom. It is very sad for me knowing that my son Torsten will never get to really know his Grandma. “Grandma hurting”, “Doctors kan inte fix Grandma” – ‘Grandma is hurting and doctors cannot fix her’ is what he knows right now. But her toys and photos and memories live on, so she most certainly won’t be forgotten.
Michelle Walz DaughterI’m going to miss our almost daily Skype chats,where I told her about my day (and she hers) andwhere we talked about how I’m now helping otherExpat Moms through my support groups and LaLeche League leadership. I’m going to miss hercalling me “kiddo” and not minding, even thoughI’m nearly 35 and a certainly not a kid anymore.I’m going to miss garage saleing for toys andclothes for Torsten, travelling, and simply talking.I am going to miss a lot of things.I’m thankful that our family is fortunate enoughthat I was able to travel here to Winnipeg fromSwitzerland to visit Mom; several times since hercancer diagnosis in fact. I am happy that I couldhave three hours with her the morning she died.That morning I told her that I loved her and that Iwas going to be okay. She told me to telleveryone that she loved them and thanked thehospital staff for all their help while she was inhospital.
Michelle Walz Daughter I’m also thankful that she was able to see Torsten one last time. Her eyes lit up, only hours before she passed, when Torsten and I entered her room. She also managed to tell Torsten clearly and lovingly that his blue crayon-coloured airplane he did for her was “beautiful, just beautiful”. That’s the kind of woman she was – sitting there on her deathbed still managing to smile and compliment her grandson on his work.
Michelle Walz Daughter Each one of you likely got to know some of the I will try my best to be qualities I hope have come through in this story today. Since her passing, many people have told me that even half the Mom, they hope to live half the life and half the retirement that Mom did and if they succeed, they’ll be satisfied. half the Friend, I too hope this, but most of all, I will try my best to be even half the Mom, half the Friend, half the half the Woman Woman that she was. If I manage, I know she will live on in me. that she was. Bye Mom.If I manage, I know she I hope you have a good final trip, where ever death may have taken you. will live on in me. [Dan]: A song starts playing and Dan holds up Torsten’s Blue Airplane. Not a dry eye in the house.
Musical Interlude Enya - Only Time Who can say where the road goes, Where the day fows, only time? And who can say if your love grows, As your hearth chose, only time? Who can say why your heart sights, As your live fies, only time? And who can say why your heart cries when your love lies, only time? QuickTimeﾪ and a decompressor Who can say when the roads meet,are needed to see this picture. That love might be ,in your heart? and who can say when the day sleeps, and the night keeps all your heart? Night keeps all your heart..... Who can say if your love groves, As your heart chose, only time? And who can say where the road goes Where the day fows, only time? Who knows? Only time Who knows? Only time
Dan WalzM.C. & Celebrant Dan tells another touching story about Mom and her mothering and love of Michelle & Leah. Dan: I’d now like to introduce Stacey Wowchuk who is going to read a letter written by a fried of Kathy’s, Helen AbenReynen, who upon hearing of Kathy’s death immediately called and talked to Gene.
Stacey WowchukReads a Letter from Helen AbenReynen When I heard of Kathy’s death I told Gene the story of how Kathy and I met around the story of dolls and her Inuit doll created by Ayowna Emiktowt. Gene asked me to share this story with you. ~~~ Kathy Walz shares one chapter in a story of love spreading forth from the Canadian Arctic inside a prayer for the healing of relationships – a breathing artwork created with the women and youth of the Kivalliq in Nunavut. It is a work of love. [Stacey adds a comment along the lines that there is something about Northern Canada that is love and stays with you forever.] Here is how Kathy Walz’s soul touched the heart of the child within an artist, me, Helen AbenReynen and the artists of 2007 Kivalliq Inuit Doll Festival Exhibition and Story-telling Traditions. I moved to Rankin Inlet, Nunavut after graduating from Simon Fraser University as a visual artist. My work was deeply personal and imbedded within faith and works meditating on a mantra of “teach only love” focusing on the healing of relationships.
Stacey Wowchuk Reads a Letter from Helen AbenReynen When I moved to Rankin Inlet, I continued this prayer and meditation. As I walked around town in one of my darkest prayers, the word “dolls” sounded and rang clear. It was how we would connect spiritually and artistically. I brought this word to the women artists and asked if they would like to create an exhibition of dolls and show it in the south. They said yes and began with the hope of bringing mothers and daughters together. I went south and began a labour of love that still continues to grow. The Burnaby Art Gallery said yes for a touring exhibition. When I returned, the women said “show us the $.” And that started me in a tailspin…We were now a group of women coming together. The Pulaarvik Kablu Friendship Centre became the place ofrefuge and support from which I could write grants.
Stacey Wowchuk Reads a Letter from Helen AbenReynenWe were successful in receiving $40K from Economic Development for a one week workshop thatbrought in two women from each of the seven Kivalliq communities. The doll you see here wascreated by Ayowna at that first workshop… where Ayowna spoke of why the doll’s face was indistinct.She did not want anyone to laugh or ridicule it or the Inuit. She was so respectful and honoured herrace, culture and beliefs. She wanted the person who saw it or purchased it to respect and value thedoll and the Inuit as she did.I traveled to the other communities and met Ayowna in her hometown of Coral Harbour. Word wasgetting out that I was the “doll” lady. Soon after, it was during the census taking of 2006, that Kathycaught wind of me and was insistent that I show her some dolls the women were sending for 2007K.I.D.F.E.S.T and subsequent touring exhibition.Nothing I could say would discourage her. I was overwhelmed with this “growing responsibility” andcross I was bearing for the work, women and “doll project”. The secret was out … I had the dolls andKathy wouldn’t give up.I succumbed to her bright eyes, smile and pleasant and heartfelt desire to see the dolls. I agreed toshow her a couple. Now I knew the dolls entering my home were special and filled with the spirit ofdignity, love and respect … but I had no idea of the impact they would have on another. Kathy soonshowed me the spirit of a doll and the strength in the heart of a woman.I will never forget that afternoon with Kathy sitting on my living room floor delighting in the first fewdolls I showed her. Then I went into the ”Crawl Space Gallery” as it was nicknamed later, and crawledout with Ayowna’s doll.
Stacey WowchukReads a Letter from Helen AbenReynen As we unwrapped Ayowna’s doll, Kathy began to cry freely. She sat on my living room floor for twenty minutes crying. Tears of love, of joy, of pain, of sadness and sorrow, and happiness. She shed them all. I sat there with her … and when Kathy was finished, we crawled into the “crawl space gallery” where I showed her many, many more dolls sent by the 40+ women from the seven communities. We sat in the crawl space and chatted as girls and women do, sharing our hopes and dreams and telling stories. Many were of her love for the Inuit and people she met in the Arctic. She also shared a story of her work with dolls and children and a special acrylic doll house she had constructed called “The Secrets House” … a safe place where children could tell their secrets that people told them they had to keep. We chatted for hours and sealed a friendship that will last forever.
Stacey WowchukReads a Letter from Helen AbenReynen But that’s not where Kathy’s story ends. She wouldn’t leave until I promised to call the artist. She wanted to buy Ayowna’s doll. Now you must understand that I was creating a work of art that was grounded in faith and was about love. It wasn’t about “selling” or becoming a retailer. That wasn’t me. I was bounded to this work in a spiritual way through prayer and committed to teaching only love. The work was about the “heart” and “soul” of the people… it was about connecting with the heart … and becoming more than the sale of a doll. I told Kathy so … she still wanted me to talk to the artist and kept at me until I promised. The $ was not an issue. Through Kathy’s support, persistence, perseverance and genuine caring, she pierced her way through my walls and fears. I called Ayowna … together we came up with a price … and then added some more as a donation to the PKFC and called it $1000.00. Ayowna would receive “southern price” for her work. I was still hoping Kathy would say no. BUT SHE DIDN”T!!!
Stacey Wowchuk Reads a Letter from Helen AbenReynenAnd in that moment, I began becoming the woman andartist I am today. Kathy’s love of life, the Inuit, her doll,and people inspired me to continue despite the obstacles,challenges, fears and emotions that would come. I can seeKathy helped me understand when to set boundaries,when to be flexible, and most of all listen with my all my Kathy smiling nowsenses. Her support in that one moment, where shetrusted and believed in me, was all I needed at times knowing thatwhen I really wanted to quit the doll project. I could seeher at my door, I could see her on the living room floor, I she loved wellcould hear her laughter in the crawl space, I could see hereyes twinkle in our kitchen, I could see her waiting for the and was lovedreturn of her then touring doll as I spoke with the womenand families of the Lethbridge Textile Surface Design and who she wasGuild who purchased eleven dolls, displayed them andthen donated them to the Pulaarvik Kablu mattered.Friendship Centre where they would always be there forthe children and Inuit of the Kivalliq. I can see Kathysmiling now knowing that she loved well and was lovedand who she was mattered.
Stacey WowchukReads a Letter from Helen AbenReynen Kathy helped me believe and stand in myself, Realize that together we can, Never give up. There is beauty in all. And above all there’s joy in keeping promises, loving and letting go. I love her with all my heart. QuickTimeﾪ and a decompressorare needed to see this picture. Qujannamiik Kathy ᖁᔭᓐᓇᒦᒃ
Dan WalzM.C. & Celebrant [Dan: Says something like, “What a beautiful story and I can tell you, as I am sure you know, Kathy was not one who cried often, so the impact of the doll was profound.”] I’d now like to introduce Kathy’s daughter Leah who is going to pay her tribute to her Mom. Leah…
Leah Walz Daughter Over the years I have given a lot of presentations, and I often prefer to tell a story which I feel captures some of the essential themes and ideas that I want to cover, and includes “typical” quotes or events. But with Mom, I thought: “certainly no one story can do her justice.” I will try nonetheless.
Leah Walz Daughter It was December of 2004, and I was home for the holidays after a pretty devastating (and unexpected) breakup with the man I had been living with for the previous three years. Some retail therapy was in order, so mom and I proceeded to go on a what-not-to-where-style search for a whole new wardrobe. Amongst the more mundane purchases were a few special items: 1) a gorgeous pair of red high-healed “break-up” boots, which, despite my reluctance – and assertions that I had nowhere to wear them – mom talked me into buying. 2) A sequined gold and white “naked” tank-top, which, despite my reluctance – and assertions that I had nowhere to wear it – Mom talked me into buying. 3) Two pairs of dark grey-blue jeans, which, despite my reluctance – and assertion that I didn’t need BOTH pairs – Mom talked me into buying (do we see a pattern?)
Leah Walz Daughter She was on a mission to rebuild my self-esteem, and together we joked that the silver lining to the ugly ending of this relationship was that I looked GREAT!! (I hadn’t been able to eat much of anything for weeks and had dropped a dress- size or two.) A week or so later, decked out in one of my new outfits, my dear friend Stacey (whom you just heard from) and I – to my mom’s delight – crashed the Christmas party of an old friend from high-school. There I met a man that I now affectionately refer to as “The rebound guy.” He has since been replaced by a truly wonderful life- partner, but as far as rebound guys go, he was perfect, and exactly what I needed at the time. My mom understood this.
Leah Walz DaughterA few days later, my plans with the rebound guywere threatened by a classically brutal Winnipegblizzard. As our family sat around the kitchentable having dinner, Dad was adamant, “You arenot going, you are not driving downtown to seethis boy, you can see him another day.”Against all reason – and in a fit of “Leah Logic”(as my Mom liked to call it) – I was equallyadamant that I was going and that it would befine because we lived on a main street that hadalready been plowed, as did the rebound guy.With perfect hindsight, I can now see that thiswas crazy-thinking.Mom was relatively quiet…
Leah Walz Daughter After much back and forth, and some frustrated tears on my part, mom decided: “ok, grab a bottle of wine from our supply and I’ll drive you to the mall. You can take the bus from there.” She knew how much I needed to go, and she was determined to help me to get there. So we hop in her car (she did not yet have her beloved Hyundai SUV!) and back out of the garage… and halfway down the drive-way we are totally and completely stuck. She turns to me, with no annoyance in her voice, and says – “Oh shoot, now your Dad’s going to be able to say ‘I told you so!’” But knowing that Dad is in the basement, so will not see our plight, Mom and I trudge back up the driveway, grab a couple of shovels and proceed to try to dig the car out – keep in mind this is in a full-on, howling, 2-feet-of-snow-expected, BLIZZARD!
Leah Walz Daughter “Leah”, she says after a bit of shoveling, “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to happen, but let’s at least try to get the car back into the garage”. A few minutes later, shovels in hand, we hear a low rumble above the sounds of blowing snow – it’s the bus! I look at mom, she looks at me, and without a second thought she says… “GO!”. I grab my bag, the bottle of wine, and laughing at the hilarity of it all, I RUN after that bus… and I’m on my way. I later learn that Mom (and Dad, once he noticed) spent the next couple hours shoveling our driveway to get her car back in the garage – yet when I tried to apologize for the fact that I’d been a selfish a-hole, she would not accept it. “You have nothing to apologize for – it took about 10 minutes of shoveling to get the car back in the garage, then I just figured that we’d have to shovel eventually, so why not now?” That was my mom.
Leah Walz Daughter Sometimes I lose perspective on how amazing she was, because she was the only mom I ever had. Strong, selfless, compassionate and kind, she had an understated wit and hyper-developed sense of empathy. She was certainly no-nonsense and never pollyana-ish, but she was also fiercely optimistic. Whenever I worried about finishing a presentation, a project, or even my thesis, she said simply “you’ll get it done – you just work better under pressure.” (FYI, I wrote what I am saying now this morning, after stressing out for days that I had no idea what I was going to say. She was right again.). And whenever I worried more broadly about what I was doing with my life, she was always reassuring without being condescending: “everything will work out – it always does.”
Leah Walz DaughterThey say that people die as they live, and that iscertainly true of my mom. Those who met her for “You know the best thingthe first time after her cancer diagnosis saw howspecial she was. about having terminalNever one for self-pity, everyone was impressed by cancer?” she said, popping amy mom’s strength and inventiveness (for gettingaround the house once she could no longer walk, jujube in her mouth,or SIT, for example), touched by her kindness, and “you can eat whatever youamused by her dark humour. want!”
Leah Walz Daughter Taking care of my mom these past few months was, as they say, “the toughest job I ever loved.” She was a role modelfor the kind of woman There were many painful moments, but there was also a lot of joy and laughter. We always had athat I hope to become, special relationship; she was my mom but also my dearest friend. But she was also a role model for and the bravest and the kind of woman that I hope to become, and the most caring person bravest and most caring person I’ve ever known. I’ve ever known. In a quiet moment, mom told me that she was not afraid of dying, but that it hurt her to think about how hard it would be for those she left behind.
Leah Walz Daughter I had all this time, alone with her, to tell her how much she meant to me – yet so much went unsaid. “I love you, Mom,” I said to her on the phone from Montreal the night before she died (she had insisted I go home for a few days, because I needed a break), “and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Those were my last words to her. I wasn’t ready to say good-bye – and I just wasn’t ready – but I also know that that day would never have come. Mom, I’m sorry that you will not be here to see the tulips you planted, or to have that cup of coffee on the deck. You were the only Mom I ever had, and you were amazing. You were always there for me. Always. And there are no words to describe how much I will miss you.
Musical Interlude Roger Whittaker - Momma MaryT me how did you feel when the angel came into ell the garden? How did you feel? How did you feel?When he said "if youre afraid I beg your pardon, but youre the one to bear gods son." T me how did you feel (how did you feel) ell how did you feel (how did you feel) QuickTimeﾪ and a decompressor Oh Momma, Momma Mary, are needed to see this picture. we wish you joy, we wish you joy. Oh Momma, Momma Mary, your little boy, your little boy Soon to be our saviour. [Michelle & Leah sing along] T me how did you feel on the fnal day ell How did you feel? How did you feel?When you arrived in Bethlehem to hear them say "No food no table, save in the stable"
Musical Interlude Roger Whittaker - Momma Mary T me how did you feel (how did you feel) ell how did you feel (how did you feel) Oh Momma, Momma Mary, we wish you joy, we wish you joy. Oh Momma, Momma Mary, your little boy, your little boy Soon to be our saviour. [Michelle & Leah sing along, QuickTimeﾪ and a Michelle replacing Momma Mary with Momma Kathy] decompressor are needed to see this picture.T me how did you feel when the wise men came ell to see him? How did it feel? How did it feel?When shepherds and kings with precious things adored him it had begun, here was the one. T me how did you feel (how did you feel) ell how did you feel (how did you feel)
Musical Interlude Roger Whittaker - Momma Mary Oh Momma, Momma [Kathy],we wish you joy, we wish you joy. QuickTimeﾪ and a Oh Momma, Momma [Kathy], decompressor are needed to see this picture. your little boy, your little boy Soon to be our saviour. [Michelle & Leah sing along]
Dan WalzM.C. & Celebrant As Gene was not able to be here today, he asked that I read the Eulogy he prepared in Kathy’s honour. Unlike his wife and daughters (who came up here with computers), Gene still used paper and pen. I’ll do my best to honour his memory of Kathy.
Dan WalzInterprets Gene Walz’s Eulogy Before this past fall, I can remember crying only once in my adult life -- when my father died. He had trained me well not to be a “crybaby”. Well, maybe I cried a second time, when my Eastman Kodak Stock, carefully collected since I was a paperboy at age 12, dropped from over $100 a share to four dollars and seventy-six cents! I hope this does not turn into an Oprah Winfrey moment! How do I condense 40 years of a wonderful partnership, thousands of memories, into a eulogy that doesn’t test your patience? I guess I start by modifying the old adage behind every great man is a great woman. Well I can tell you that behind even “not-so-great” men there are often great women!
Dan Walz Interprets Gene Walz’s EulogyKathy and I met in Amherst, Massachusettswhen I was a grad student and she was awaitress at “Famous” Bill’s. We had met at alecture I gave on King Kong which she attendedwith her old boyfriend. A short while later, I drove20 miles to “Famous” Bill’s, sat in her section, atea small meal and over-tipped her.[Dan]And if anyone knows Gene, you know how out ofthe ordinary over-tipping was and how much ofan impression Kathy must have given!
Dan Walz Interprets Gene Walz’s Eulogy We almost didn’t get married. On our third or fourth date we went with four other couples to see the Marx Brothers movie Duck Soup. Kathy didn’t laugh through the entire movie…. She glowered. [Dan] QuickTimeﾪ and a I think Duck Soup is one of the funniest movies decompressor of all time!are needed to see this picture.
Dan WalzInterprets Gene Walz’s Eulogy But she could be a woman of very strong tastes! She hated potatoes (except for double-cooked French fries) because she came from a poor Irish family and her father forced them on her. Every meal was a battle of wills. She HATED pickles because she worked a a pickle factory. And she HATED puerile movies. When I was writing my PhD thesis, I needed something to keep me sane and connected with the outside world. So I took a birding course. It met every Saturday at dawn -- 6 or 7 a.m. Kathy joined too and this commitment convinced me tat she was the person for me: she was beautiful, smart, sensitive, sensible AND as a bonus, she liked birds! I didn’t realize until after we were married that she didn’t care all that much about birds. She cared about a certain birder. But I guess that was enough!
Dan WalzInterprets Gene Walz’s Eulogy Believe it or not, we NEVER fought in our 40 years together. We grumbled, we sulked, but we never yelled. We never went to bed mad at each other. The only time I came close was when we were in Africa together on Safari. We were in a Safari vehicle full of birders when we came upon a QuickTimeﾪ and a decomp ressor are needed to see this picture. mother lion and her three small cubs, babies really, mere weeks old. Kathy was absolutely IN LOVE with these lions and took scores of photos. Meanwhile, the other Safari people were growing increasingly impatient. When I agreed with THEM that we should move on, Kathy was FURIOUS. But she quickly got a grip and our only potential fight dissipated.
Dan WalzInterprets Gene Walz’s Eulogy After she retired, Kathy became a pretty good photographer, in fact more than just pretty good. She sold some photos that appeared in ads and in calendars. A poet friend of mine, in commenting on some days we spent together around Gimli [crowd corrects: /ghIm-li/!] and Oak Hammock Marsh, recalled how patiently and lovingly Kathy photographed gophers. THAT was Kathy’s secret. Our marriage was tested most during my tenure hearings in 1981. My department chairman had the annoying habit of phoning every night to warn me about another possible pitfall. Everybody I knew figured he was trying to find a way to deny my tenure and get his wife the job. His conversations invariably began with “I don’t think we have to worry about this…. BUT” and he would turn a positive into a destructive anxiety.
Dan WalzInterprets Gene Walz’s Eulogy Kathy nursed me through this, and when I got tenure, she surprised me with a recovery trip to Cozumel, Mexico, one of our fondest memories. With regards to my work, she taught me the destructiveness of writing a positive comment followed by “but”, “yet”, or “however” when evaluating student papers. And she convinced me to never grade papers or exams with a RED pen. As for her own work, she was more than just a school psychologist. She found the job VERY hard and it left her sleepless many a night. I still remember the time that she got up every day at 6:00a.m. to help a “school phobic” kid get to school when his parents were unwilling.
Dan WalzM.C. & Celebrant Gene didn’t get a chance to finish his Eulogy, so after reading his remarks, I asked at the hospital if there was anything else Gene wanted to say. Gene said simply, “that’s it, except that I loved her.” She asked that the following song be played at her service. Kathy personally chose all the songs played here today. They all meant something to her. She LOVED to travel and this song is her final journey.
Musical Interlude Willie Nelson - On the Road Again On the road again - Just cant wait to get on the road again. The life I love is making music with my friends And I cant wait to get on the road again. On the road again Goin places that Ive never been. Seein things that I may never see again QuickTimeﾪ and a decompressor And I cant wait to get on the road again. are needed to see this picture. On the road again -Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway Were the best of friends. Insisting that the world keep turning our way And our way is on the road again. Just cant wait to get on the road again. The life I love is makin music with my friends
Musical Interlude Willie Nelson - On the Road Again And I cant wait to get on the road again. On the road againLike a band of gypsies we go down the highway Were the best of friends Insisting that the world keep turning our way QuickTimeﾪ and a And our way decompressor is on the road again. are needed to see this picture. Just cant wait to get on the road again. The life I love is makin music with my friends And I cant wait to get on the road again. And I cant wait to get on the road again.
Dan Walz M.C. & Celebrant Do not shed tears when I have gone But smile instead because I have lived Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I’ll come back But open your eyes and see all that I have left behind. I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me But still I want you to be full of te love we shared You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterdayOr you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened between us yesterday. You can remember me and grieve that I have gone. Or you can cherish my memory and let it live on. You can cry and lose yourself, become distraught And turn your back on the world Or you can do what I want -- smile, wipe away the tears, learn to love again and go on. *I can’t go on. I must go on. I’ll go on. -David Harkins
Dan WalzM.C. & Celebrant I’d now like to open up the floor to anyone who’d like to say anything else about Kathy.
Archie Chawla Friend & CoachI didn’t plan to get up here, but there was anotherside to Kathy, the sports side.Archie tells the story of Mom learning to playbadminton at the Winnipeg Canoe Club, having neverplayed a racquet sport before, and coming out QuickTimeﾪ and aregularly to practice. Then joining a tournament and decompressorwinning and never playing again, she are needed to see this picture. hadaccomplished what she wanted.He also tells the story of her being Mom to Michelle &Leah and about her tennis days.
Dan WalzM.C. & CelebrantDo not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain.When you wake in the morning hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling fight. I am the soft starlight at night.Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there, I do not sleep. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die! -Mary Frye (1932)