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Sapient - Communicate Powerfully (Without Being A You-Know-What)

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  • 1. (Without Being AYou-Know-What)withMichelle Villalobos(vee - ya - low - bos)CommunicatePowerfully1
  • 2. 1. Establish Your Brand3
  • 3. Are you knownfor where you’re GOINGor for where you’ve BEEN?4
  • 4. Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009.All Rights Reserved.To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.5
  • 5. “No matter what sheaccomplishes or how shereinvents herself to thepublic, shell always be thefirst lady of scandal.”By Piper Weiss, Shine Staff | Love + Sex – Wed, Aug 17, 2011 10:34 PM EDT6
  • 6. The Lewinsky Effect:If you don’t brand yourself,then others will do it for you.Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009.All Rights Reserved.To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.7
  • 7. “It’s not WHAT you know.It’s not even WHO you know.It’s who knows YOU...and what they say about youwhen you’re not around.”8
  • 8. Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-3830• talk show host?• home & entertaining expert?• dog trainer?• child-care expert?• martyr?• satanic rocker?• dirty politician?9
  • 9. this is whatpeople SEEHOW YOU LIVEWhat you say& doWHAT YOU WANTFuture Goals &ObjectivesWHAT YOU BELIEVE INPrinciples & ValuesWHY ARE YOU HERE?PurposeWHO ARE YOU?Innate Passions,Talents & Intereststhis is whatdeterminesyour brand210
  • 10. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com“Regardless of age,regardless of position,regardless of the business wehappen to be in,all of us need to understandthe importance of branding.We are CEOs of our owncompanies:Me Inc. To be in businesstoday, our most importantjob isto be head marketerfor the brand called You.”– Tom Peters, “The Brand Called YOU”199711
  • 11. What do YOU want to beTOP OF MIND for?Can you articulate it?13
  • 12. What are 5 things youcould do right away to become“top-of-mind” for that?14
  • 13. 2.KnowYourAudience15
  • 14. 16
  • 15. 17
  • 16. Shift ContextI wantWhat doTHEYwant?18
  • 17. PersonalityType19
  • 18. rubies sapphiresDIRECTORS PROMOTERSemeraldsANALYZERSpearlsNURTURERSFASTpaceRELAXEDpaceTASK-oriented PEOPLE-oriented20
  • 19. 10 minutes to learn...A lifetime to master21
  • 20. Want a deeper analysis? Look at:Myers-Briggs (MBTI)DISC AssessmentKiersey Temperament Sorter22
  • 21. Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009.All Rights Reserved.To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.3. Look the part23
  • 22. 24
  • 23. Standing out –appropriately –from the crowdhelps you stay topof mind. Look UP atthe top people inyour field and getinspired by them.Then add your owntwist.25
  • 24. Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-383026
  • 25. Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-383027
  • 26. 28
  • 27. what do younotice?29
  • 28. 30
  • 29. 31
  • 30. 32
  • 31. 33
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  • 33. 35
  • 34. 36
  • 35. 137
  • 36. 4. CommunicatePowerfully38
  • 37. The way you say things is,like, important?39
  • 38. Do you ask forpermission tospeak up?Can I ask a question?I just want to add one thingWould you mind if I saidsomething?I have an idea I’d like toshare, if you don’t mindMay I add something?40
  • 39. “I”blame you for issuesthat aren’t yours childishtakes focus off the factsnot effectiveleadership (it’snot about you)often leads to“psychobabble”* How To Say It For WomenPhyllis Mindell, Ed.D.41
  • 40. “I don’t have enough time to complete that job”* How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D.“I like the way you closed that deal”“I noticed that the office wasn’t cleaned up”“You forgot to send me that email”“I feel good about this project”“For the job to be done right, it requires more time”“Well done on that deal”“The office wasn’t cleaned up last night”“I didn’t receive your email”“This project will be great for business”42
  • 41. “Infractions:” Passive, Rambling,Verbal Filler, Qualifiers, Hedges“I may be wrong butwhat if we try a newapproach? I was thinking, youknow, maybe we could, um, find apartner or something, you know to helpus grow our mailing list. Maybe I couldcall a few people that I know. I don’tknow, what do you think?”kie josiuel lk asj kdi ko oudu lki, reitkci,wii, oieru iyd klkea loi leoop nckeadlfjad ieu loo keuu eioci klle leyuc ckelk lkeas eec eae ree clkj elkj sld fkjds adlk fja....43
  • 42. instead try“um”passive voice“feel”“I”fillerspausingactive voicestating the facts3rd personpauses44
  • 43. DramaticThe Pause45
  • 44. Qualifiers& Hedgesonlyjustyou knowreallyin my opinionsort ofkind ofapparentlyI’m not an expert, butI may not be qualified,butbutmaybeI guess46
  • 45. “psychobabble”rambling &nervous chatter“blah, blah, blah...”“Be in the moment...“present...” “The Secret...”“The Law of Attraction”and... and... and...“I’m suuuuch an Aquarius (giggle)”“I feeeeel...”47
  • 46. “To Be” = WeakI am (was, will be...)You are (were, will be)We are (were, will be)They are (were, will be)I am the leader of a teamYou are responsible for salesWe are the managers of...They were helping the kids...I leadWe manageThey helped_____________________________________________You overseesales_______________48
  • 47. AchieveAdvanceConductConsultCommitCoordinateDevelopDeliverDesignDefineDevoteEarnEnhanceEvaluateExamineExtendFacilitateFormulateFulfillForecastGenerateGainGatherHeadHostIdentifyImplementImproveImproviseInfluenceLaunchLeadLobbyMaintainManageMarketedMaximizedMediatedMotivateNegotiateObtainOperateOrganizeOriginateOverseeParticipatePerformPioneerPlanPreparePresentPromotePublishPursueRankUpdateRedesignReengineerReorganizeRepresentRestructureReviseSafeguardSecureSpecifySpearheadStandardizeStrengthenStructureSuggestSupersedeSuperviseTargetTeach/TaughtTestTrainTransformTranscendUnifyUpgradeUtilizeValidateValueWriteeffective action verbs...49
  • 48. “feel”50
  • 49. “One way togrow a list is topartner with othersand offer a benefit inreturn. I know afew I can call.Thoughts?”Direct, to the point, assertive(without being aggressive), inviting51
  • 50. Hold your ground (politely)*Phyllis Mindel, PhD How To Say It For WomenExcuse mePlease allow me to finish...I’m not finishedI’m not quite finished...Please hold any comments until I’m donePlease hold your questions until the endJust a moment...Interruptions break my train of thought,please allow me to finish...52
  • 51. Be LOUD53
  • 52. Have you ever noticed?How some people talk like they’re asking a question?Most don’t even realize they do it?InflectionRECORD YOURSELF.54
  • 53. 55
  • 54. 56
  • 55. “Thanks for doingsuch a great job.Really, thanks.“It’s not like you do anything anyways“Whatever you say.”“Everything is great. Justperfect.”57
  • 56. 5. Live The“Jessica Phenomenon”58
  • 57. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg59
  • 58. MirrorNeurons60
  • 59. 61
  • 60. Are you focused on anegative outcome?62
  • 61. 63
  • 62. 6. Set Boundaries!64
  • 63. “Pathological Volunteerism”65
  • 64. 66
  • 65. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comParkinson’s Law *“Work expands so asto fill the time availablefor its completion.”Perhaps you recognize this phenomenon(or its corollaries)?A note before proceeding...67
  • 66. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comData expands to fill the spaceavailable for storage.68
  • 67. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com69
  • 68. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com70
  • 69. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comStudies show that if you LIMITthe time available for a task,you REDUCE the amountof time that task takesAND improve results!71
  • 70. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comProof:“The VacationPhenomenon”72
  • 71. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com“Treat everyday like itsthe daybeforevacation, andyou will getmore workdone!”- Zig Ziglar73
  • 72. In other words, if you FIRSTdetermine what your “hardlimits” are in terms of TIME,you will be more focusedand produceBETTER results in the (shorter)time you allot for work.All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com74
  • 73. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comLIFESTYLEIncomeStabilityCharityPeace of mindFreetimeFunSupportHobbies75
  • 74. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com76
  • 75. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com77
  • 76. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com“Art Time”78
  • 77. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com79
  • 78. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comEstablish PrioritiesWhat are your top 3 priorities inlife? Write them down.80
  • 79. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comCreate ParametersWrite down ONE commitment youcan put into your CALENDAR foreach of those 3 priorities.81
  • 80. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comExamples•Family Time ------------> No working on weekends -Dinner with family every Tu/Wed•Hobbies -----------------> Set aside 8 hours/week to paintRide horses 2 mornings/week•Peace of Mind --------> Meditate every day - 30 min•Romance ---------------> “Date Night”•Health --------------------> Eat breakfast & lunch everyday; yoga Mon/Wed 5:30•Organize ----------------> Monday =“errands&admin” day82
  • 81. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com83
  • 82. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com84
  • 83. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.comHomework: Schedule!Put them into your calendarand HONOR THEM!! You mayhave to“enroll” a few people first...85
  • 84. All Content Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009.All Rights Reserved.To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com86
  • 85. hey, got a minute?87
  • 86. 7. Say88
  • 87. (k)notty wordscan notcould notshould notdo notwould notrephrase withwhat you DO wantor WILL do89
  • 88. Stuff90
  • 89. Practice!!91
  • 90. 8. Understand Non-Verbal Cues92
  • 91. Eye contact93
  • 92. 1Eye contact is themost basic form ofhuman interaction...even newborns do it94
  • 93. Handshakes establish equalitybetween two people.95
  • 94. The “Dainty” Handshake96
  • 95. The Limp Handshake97
  • 96. 98
  • 97. 99
  • 98. 100
  • 99. 101
  • 100. 102
  • 101. 103
  • 102. 104
  • 103. Eye contactBody positionPalmsFacialexpression=Her: I’m angry, I don’twant to hear what yousay or even look atyouHim: I have nothing tohide, you can trustme, please listen105
  • 104. 106
  • 105. Eye contactHands touchingHead positionBody position=Man 1: I’m angry, I’mon the offensive, Ihave proof, look atme!Man 2: I’m soooooover this, I can’t standit.Please go away andleave me in peace.107
  • 106. 108
  • 107. Eye contactBody positionHands/armsTouching faceUsage of space=We are mentallychecked out anddon’t care that sheknows it - she doesn’teven deserve the mostbasic respect.109
  • 108. 110
  • 109. 1Does yourbodylanguagesay “I’m toobusy foryou”? That’sone surefireway to turnpeople off...111
  • 110. 1112
  • 111. 113
  • 112. 9. Promote Yourself114
  • 113. “Unwritten Rules: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt Your Career” © 2008 by CATALYST115
  • 114. Volunteer ForHigh Profile Projects,Assignments & Teams116
  • 115. How do yourespond tocompliments?117
  • 116. 118
  • 117. 119
  • 118. 10. BuildYour Network120
  • 119. CreateALLIANCES &PARNERSHIPS121
  • 120. People LOVEtalking aboutother people.Are youMANAGINGwhat they’resaying aboutYOU?122
  • 121. Relationship Killers• lack of contact• one-sidedness• self-interest• neglect123
  • 122. Relationship Growers• availability• contact• trust• listening• honesty• mutual benefit124
  • 123. Everyoneneedscheerleaders& mentors125
  • 124. Recap•1 instance where you SHOULD havecommunicated more powerfully? Whatcould you have done differently?•1 instance where your communicationESCALATED a situation, made it WORSE?•Situations?•Triggers?126
  • 125. Committments.127
  • 126. Copyright MichelleVillalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009.All Rights Reserved.To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.www.MichelleVillalobos.comOr just Google me!128