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"Communicate Powerfully - Get What You Want (Without Turning People Off)" - Michelle Villalobos presents to the Miami Women's Chamber – March 2011
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"Communicate Powerfully - Get What You Want (Without Turning People Off)" - Michelle Villalobos presents to the Miami Women's Chamber – March 2011

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We women often walk a tightrope between being too aggressive and too passive. Learn how to get what you want... without turning people off. Tips for negotiating, communicating, looking the part and …

We women often walk a tightrope between being too aggressive and too passive. Learn how to get what you want... without turning people off. Tips for negotiating, communicating, looking the part and getting people to collaborate with you as the strong - yet feminine - leader you want to be.

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  • 1. CommunicatePOWERFULLY5 Ways To GetWhat You Want(Without Turning People Off)
  • 2. Why?
  • 3. Fact:less pay,lower positions,fewer promotions
  • 4. Fact:Only 15 Fortune 500 companies (3.0%)and 28 Fortune 1000 companies (2.8%) are run by women. Only 20% of top management positions in the U.S. are held by women. – CNNmoney.com, May 2009
  • 5. FACT:“Companies with the most women in senior managementpositions had a 35% higher return on equity and a 34% higher return to shareholders.” – Catalyst Study
  • 6. in fact.... the “feminization” of leadership
  • 7. Fact: “Women who adopt a masculine, ‘alpha- female’ approach in the office earn more [andget promoted more] thanthan their more passive female colleagues.”– Businessweek, July 2010
  • 8. Fact:Women are muchless likely than mento negotiate topromote their ownambitions or desires.Men use negotiationto get ahead and getwhat they wantbetween two andnine times as oftenas women do. – Businessweek, July 2010
  • 9. Fact:The double standard is alive and well. “Plenty of studies have shown that... we dont accept thesame behavior from women that we accept from men.”Hannah Riley Bowles, co-author Claiming Authority: Negotiating Challenges for Women Leaders Psychology of Leadership: Some New Approaches
  • 10. 5 Tips
  • 11. #1.learn to negotiate (like a woman)
  • 12. “The Entitlement Effect” “If you bring men and women into the lab and you say either one of two things: ‘Work until you think youveearned the $10 we just gave you,’ or ‘Work and then tell ushow much you think you deserve,’ the women work longer hours with fewer errors for comparable pay, and pay themselves less for comparable work. But if theres a standard [that men and women know], then this result goes away.Hannah Riley Bowles, co-author Claiming Authority:Negotiating Challenges for Women LeadersPsychology of Leadership: Some New Approaches
  • 13. What’sInItForMe?
  • 14. Everything is negotiable
  • 15. Women tendto have aneasier timeadvocatingfor othersinstead ofthemselves,so...
  • 16. what’s at stake?
  • 17. what’s your market value?
  • 18. internal external “This iswhat I feel this “This is the service is market rate forworth” or “this this type ofis what I would service” like to make” k
  • 19. internal external “This iswhat I feel this “This is the service is market rate forworth” or “this this type ofis what I would service” like to make” k
  • 20. You’ll get more out of a COOPERATIVE tone than a COMPETITIVE one. Tip: Emphasize the importance of the “business relationship” - when women do this, they are less likely to be perceived as aggressive!Author & Harvard lecturer Matt Smith, Tavius Consulting Group
  • 21. Practicesaying no 100times in 100 different ways
  • 22. #2.watch your language
  • 23. do you ask forpermission to speak up? Can I ask a question?I just want to add one thing Would you mind if I said something? I have an idea I’d like to share, if you don’t mind May I add something?
  • 24. only While you’re just at it, lose the you know “hedging” really language too. in my opinion sort of kind of apparently I’m not an expert, butI may not be qualified, but but maybe I guess
  • 25. Learn to say “shut up” (politely) Oops, just a moment, I’m not quite finished... Please allow me to finish this thought Please hold any comments until I’m done Please hold your questions until the end Just a moment... I’d like to hear what you think, but first let me just finish this train of thought *Phyllis Mindel, PhD How To Say It For Women
  • 26. blames you for issues childish that aren’t yours often leads to“psychobabble” (i.e., “feel,” “think,” “believe”) “I” not effective leadership (it’s not about you) takes focus off the facts * How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D.
  • 27. “blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment... “present...” “The Secret...” “The Law of Attraction” “psychobabble” rambling & “I feeeeel...” nervous chatter and... and... and...“I’m suuuuch an Aquarius (giggle)”
  • 28. #3.develop a strong brand & get comfortable promoting it
  • 29. 1Like it or not, we all have a personal brand.Purposeful or accidental, decided by you, or decided by the people around you...
  • 30. •talk show host?•home & entertaining expert?•dog trainer?•child-care expert?•martyr?•satanic rocker?•dirty politician?Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-3830
  • 31. in-demand =high market value
  • 32. How do yourespond tocompliments?
  • 33. “Unwritten Rules: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt Your Career” © 2008 by CATALYST
  • 34. #4.develop a the part Look strong brand & get comfortable promoting it
  • 35. 1
  • 36. The classic “head tilt” and the coy staresay “I don’t know,” “I’m a little girl” or “I’m sexy” – not good if you’re an ambitious, professional woman.
  • 37. Here are some alternatives that work.
  • 38. 2
  • 39. And one that doesn’t.
  • 40. 1
  • 41. #5.Find the happy medium...
  • 42. the nice girl
  • 43. the strong woman
  • 44. •always needs to win •never needs to win•doesn’t listen •only listens•doesn’t trust •too trusting•loud •quiet•talks very fast •talks very slowly
  • 45. The Bitch & The Ditz: How the “Year of the Woman” Actually Set Women Back – Amanda Fortini, New York Magazine“....both Clinton and Palin came to represent – and, at times, reinforce – two of the mostpernicious stereotypes that are applied to women: the bitch and the ditz…. Womenregularly find themselves divided into dualities that are the modern equivalent ofthe Madonna-whore complex: the hard-ass or the lightweight, the battle-ax or thebubblehead, the serious, pursed-lipped shrew or the silly, ineffectual girl.”
  • 46. Happy mediumcan sometimesget confusedwith “PassiveAgressive”
  • 47. “Thanks for doing “Everything is great. Just such a great job. perfect.” Really, thanks. “It’s not like you do anything anyways “Whatever you say.”
  • 48. • be solution-oriented• address sarcasm straight-up “was that meant to be sarcastic?”• ask for alternate behavior• use active listening to uncover the real issue (ask!)• talk about that (honestly)
  • 49. Want this slideshow? I’ll email it to you. Visit www.MichelleVillalobos.com for more goodies! Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved.To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.

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