Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral Gables Chamber

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Let's face it... women have to watch what they say and how they say it. Learn how to walk the fine line between assertive and agressive... so people respect you, respond to you and listen to you.

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Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral Gables Chamber

  1. 1. The Coral Gables Chamber presents Communicate Powerfully Without Being A You-Know-What By Michelle Villalobos Thursday, October 21, 2010
  2. 2. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  3. 3. “Companies with the most women in senior management positions had a 35% higher return on equity and a 34% higher return to shareholders.” – Catalyst Study Thursday, October 21, 2010
  4. 4. yet... Only 15 Fortune 500 companies (3.0%) and 28 Fortune 1000 companies (2.8%) are run by women. Only 20% of top management positions in the U.S. are held by women. – CNNmoney.com, May 2009 Thursday, October 21, 2010
  5. 5. and: “Women who adopt a masculine, ‘alpha-female’ approach in the office earn more [and get promoted more] than than their more passive female colleagues.” – Businessweek, July 2010 Thursday, October 21, 2010
  6. 6. by the way: “When women bully, they choose fellow women as targets 71% of the time.” – Workplace Bullying Institute (quoted by Time.com) Thursday, October 21, 2010
  7. 7. “the feminization of leadership” Thursday, October 21, 2010
  8. 8. overcoming the “credibility gap” Thursday, October 21, 2010
  9. 9. the little girl Thursday, October 21, 2010
  10. 10. the strong woman Thursday, October 21, 2010
  11. 11. the psycho bit** Thursday, October 21, 2010
  12. 12. poll: where are you? • just right • always needs to win • never needs to win • doesn’t listen • only listens • doesn’t trust • too trusting • loud • quiet • talks very fast • talks very slowly Thursday, October 21, 2010
  13. 13. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  14. 14. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  15. 15. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  16. 16. Communicate Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) Thursday, October 21, 2010
  17. 17. 1. develop self-awareness Thursday, October 21, 2010
  18. 18. Look Act Sound Speak Words Attitude Space Tempo Thursday, October 21, 2010
  19. 19. 2. how you look Thursday, October 21, 2010
  20. 20. what do you notice? Thursday, October 21, 2010
  21. 21. what do you notice? Thursday, October 21, 2010
  22. 22. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  23. 23. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  24. 24. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  25. 25. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  26. 26. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  27. 27. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  28. 28. 3. what you say (& how you say it) Thursday, October 21, 2010
  29. 29. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  30. 30. do you ask for permission to speak up? Can I ask a question? I just want to add one thing Would you mind if I said something? I have an idea I’d like to share, if you don’t mind May I add something? Thursday, October 21, 2010
  31. 31. “blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment... “present...” “The Secret...” “The Law of Attraction” lose the “psychobabble” rambling & “I feeeeel...” nervous chatter “I’m suuuuch an Aquarius and... and... and... (giggle)” Thursday, October 21, 2010
  32. 32. delete verbal filler instead of: try: “um” ...pausing “you know” ...rhetorical question “ahhh” ...dramatic pause “like” ...drop altogether Thursday, October 21, 2010
  33. 33. not effective blames you for issues leadership (it’s that aren’t yours not about you) often leads to “psychobabble” (i.e., “feel,” “think,” “believe”) “I” childish takes focus off the facts * How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  34. 34. “you” Thursday, October 21, 2010
  35. 35. “feel” Thursday, October 21, 2010
  36. 36. only just you know really in my opinion sort of kind of apparently I’m not an expert, but I may not be qualified, but but maybe I guess Thursday, October 21, 2010
  37. 37. “the job is too complex for the time given” _________time __complete______ _____have enough ___ to ______ that job” “I don’t “nice job on closing that deal” __like the___________that ____ “I _____ way you closed ___ deal” “who was supposed to clean up?” _____ office wasn’t cleaned __ _______that the_______________up” “I noticed “our team will do a great job on this project” ________about _________ “I feel good ____ this project” * How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  38. 38. volume, tone, tempo & inflection Thursday, October 21, 2010
  39. 39. which is preferable? lower higher slower vs faster louder softer Thursday, October 21, 2010
  40. 40. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  41. 41. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  42. 42. 4. sarcasm & other passive-aggressive behavior Thursday, October 21, 2010
  43. 43. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  44. 44. “Everything is great. “Thanks for doing such a Just perfect.” great job. Really, thanks. “It’s not like you do anything anyways.” “Whatever you say.” Thursday, October 21, 2010
  45. 45. the fake smile... (the real one too) •we often use to “soften” •men can’t read well •smiling when angry •passive aggressive Thursday, October 21, 2010
  46. 46. • be solution-oriented • address sarcasm straight-up “was that meant to be sarcastic?” • ask for alternate behavior • use active listening to uncover the real issue (ask!) • talk about that (honestly) Thursday, October 21, 2010
  47. 47. 5. exuding confidence Thursday, October 21, 2010
  48. 48. Self- esteem Thursday, October 21, 2010
  49. 49. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  50. 50. Humility Modesty Shyness Bashfulness Constraint Coyness Demureness Diffidence Humbleness vs. Inhibition Innocense Meekness Lack of pretension Purity Quietness Reserve Self-effacement Timidity Thursday, October 21, 2010
  51. 51. How do you respond to compliments? Thursday, October 21, 2010
  52. 52. what will you work on to communicate more powerfully (without being a you-know-what)? Thursday, October 21, 2010
  53. 53. for more... www.MichelleVillalobos.com Call Jessica Lurie (888) 531-3830 jessica@mivistainc.com Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”. Thursday, October 21, 2010
  54. 54. Wo Mia me mi’ Miami The Pas n’s B s Bi usi gges E ses rt a ness t sta mpowered t ju Ev st $ ent oman ! W 10. Success Summit & Expo – November 11 & 12, 2010 – Miami Museum of Science ’ll walk ah,” “woo-woo” women’s event. You This isn’t another boring, “rah-r t& tegies and taactics to help you sell, marke away with practical advice, stra onomy.” su rvive and THRIVE in the “new ec promote yourself, so you can www.EmpoweredWoman.info Thursday, October 21, 2010

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