Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral Gables Chamber

The Coral Gables Chamber presents Communicate Powerfully Without Being A You-Know-What By Michelle Villalobos Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

“Companies with the most women in senior management positions had a 35% higher return on equity and a 34% higher return to shareholders.” – Catalyst Study Thursday, October 21, 2010

yet... Only 15 Fortune 500 companies (3.0%) and 28 Fortune 1000 companies (2.8%) are run by women. Only 20% of top management positions in the U.S. are held by women. – CNNmoney.com, May 2009 Thursday, October 21, 2010

and: “Women who adopt a masculine, ‘alpha-female’ approach in the ofﬁce earn more [and get promoted more] than than their more passive female colleagues.” – Businessweek, July 2010 Thursday, October 21, 2010

by the way: “When women bully, they choose fellow women as targets 71% of the time.” – Workplace Bullying Institute (quoted by Time.com) Thursday, October 21, 2010

“the feminization of leadership” Thursday, October 21, 2010

overcoming the “credibility gap” Thursday, October 21, 2010

the little girl Thursday, October 21, 2010

the strong woman Thursday, October 21, 2010

the psycho bit** Thursday, October 21, 2010

poll: where are you? • just right • always needs to win • never needs to win • doesn’t listen • only listens • doesn’t trust • too trusting • loud • quiet • talks very fast • talks very slowly Thursday, October 21, 2010

Communicate Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) Thursday, October 21, 2010

1. develop self-awareness Thursday, October 21, 2010

Look Act Sound Speak Words Attitude Space Tempo Thursday, October 21, 2010

2. how you look Thursday, October 21, 2010

what do you notice? Thursday, October 21, 2010

3. what you say (& how you say it) Thursday, October 21, 2010

do you ask for permission to speak up? Can I ask a question? I just want to add one thing Would you mind if I said something? I have an idea I’d like to share, if you don’t mind May I add something? Thursday, October 21, 2010

“blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment... “present...” “The Secret...” “The Law of Attraction” lose the “psychobabble” rambling & “I feeeeel...” nervous chatter “I’m suuuuch an Aquarius and... and... and... (giggle)” Thursday, October 21, 2010

delete verbal ﬁller instead of: try: “um” ...pausing “you know” ...rhetorical question “ahhh” ...dramatic pause “like” ...drop altogether Thursday, October 21, 2010

not effective blames you for issues leadership (it’s that aren’t yours not about you) often leads to “psychobabble” (i.e., “feel,” “think,” “believe”) “I” childish takes focus off the facts * How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D. Thursday, October 21, 2010

“you” Thursday, October 21, 2010

“feel” Thursday, October 21, 2010

only just you know really in my opinion sort of kind of apparently I’m not an expert, but I may not be qualified, but but maybe I guess Thursday, October 21, 2010

“the job is too complex for the time given” _________time __complete______ _____have enough ___ to ______ that job” “I don’t “nice job on closing that deal” __like the___________that ____ “I _____ way you closed ___ deal” “who was supposed to clean up?” _____ ofﬁce wasn’t cleaned __ _______that the_______________up” “I noticed “our team will do a great job on this project” ________about _________ “I feel good ____ this project” * How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D. Thursday, October 21, 2010

volume, tone, tempo & inﬂection Thursday, October 21, 2010

which is preferable? lower higher slower vs faster louder softer Thursday, October 21, 2010

4. sarcasm & other passive-aggressive behavior Thursday, October 21, 2010

“Everything is great. “Thanks for doing such a Just perfect.” great job. Really, thanks. “It’s not like you do anything anyways.” “Whatever you say.” Thursday, October 21, 2010

the fake smile... (the real one too) •we often use to “soften” •men can’t read well •smiling when angry •passive aggressive Thursday, October 21, 2010

• be solution-oriented • address sarcasm straight-up “was that meant to be sarcastic?” • ask for alternate behavior • use active listening to uncover the real issue (ask!) • talk about that (honestly) Thursday, October 21, 2010

5. exuding conﬁdence Thursday, October 21, 2010

Self- esteem Thursday, October 21, 2010

Humility Modesty Shyness Bashfulness Constraint Coyness Demureness Difﬁdence Humbleness vs. Inhibition Innocense Meekness Lack of pretension Purity Quietness Reserve Self-effacement Timidity Thursday, October 21, 2010

How do you respond to compliments? Thursday, October 21, 2010

what will you work on to communicate more powerfully (without being a you-know-what)? Thursday, October 21, 2010

for more... www.MichelleVillalobos.com Call Jessica Lurie (888) 531-3830 jessica@mivistainc.com Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”. Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wo Mia me mi’ Miami The Pas n’s B s Bi usi gges E ses rt a ness t sta mpowered t ju Ev st $ ent oman ! W 10. Success Summit & Expo – November 11 & 12, 2010 – Miami Museum of Science ’ll walk ah,” “woo-woo” women’s event. You This isn’t another boring, “rah-r t& tegies and taactics to help you sell, marke away with practical advice, stra onomy.” su rvive and THRIVE in the “new ec promote yourself, so you can www.EmpoweredWoman.info Thursday, October 21, 2010

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Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral Gables Chamber

by Michelle Villalobos

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