Effective And Successful Mentoring

Effective and Successful Mentoring Michèle Mees – October 15, 2009

Introduction to effective Mentoring

Mindset: Mentoring as a Joint Venture

Making it work: roles and relationship

Getting started

Effective and Successful Mentoring

Getting started

In Greek mythology, Mentor was a friend and trusted counselor of Odysseus .

When Odysseus left for the Trojan War he placed Mentor in charge of his son Telemachus and of his palace.

The goddess Athena disguised herself as Mentor for the purpose of giving counsel to Telemachus . She encouraged Telemachus to find out what happened to his father.

Today we still refer to a Mentor as a wise (wo)man

“ An experienced and trusted adviser ”

(Oxford English Dictionary )

“ A trusted counselor or guide , tutor , coach ”

(Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary )

What do you think about these definitions?

Getting started

Building blocks of a Mentoring Program

Deliberate learning is the cornerstone

Both failure and success are powerful teachers

Leaders need to tell their stories

Development matures over time

Mentoring is a joint venture

Mentoring as a Joint Venture with shared equity, costs, benefits and control

Preparing the “Mentoring Joint Venture”

Screening of prospective partners

Who will be your Mentor / Mentee?

Joint development of a business plan

What do you both want to achieve?

Due diligence - checking the credentials of the other party

Can I give trust and open up?

Defining the most appropriate structure

How to organize our exchanges?

Development of an exit strategy

When is it not working, or when is it accomplished?

Successful Mentoring means

sharing the responsibility

Drafting up the business plan: the Mentoring contract

Successful Mentoring begins with setting a contract for learning around which the Mentor and the Mentee are aligned: what do they want to achieve?

What are your expectations, what do you want to achieve as a Mentee / Mentor ?

Talk About It

Sharing Experiences as a Mentor

Why did you become a Mentor? Who was your Mentor? What did you learn from them? Why was the experience good for you? Or bad? Share your thoughts on this subject.

Sharing Expectations as Mentee Why did you become a Mentee? Past experiences with Mentors? What did you learn? What would be a good experience for you? Or Bad? Share your thoughts on this subject.

10 Good Reasons to become a Mentor

You'll learn . By serving as a mentor, you'll learn from your mentees

You’ll build your leadership and management skills

You’ll receive recognition from peers and superiors

You'll review and validate what you know and what you've accomplished

You'll probably feel satisfied, proud, and energized

You’ll get a new and fresh outlook on your own job, challenges and way forward

Mentoring could have future personal payoffs

The opportunity to meet new colleagues and expand your circle of networking

You'll leave the world better than you found it. Leave your legacy

Your chance to pay back

10 Good Reasons to become a Mentee

You’ll gain self knowledge , facilitating self management

You’ll receive honest and informal feedback

You’ll enhance your professional development

You’ll build your network of professional contacts

You’ll benefit from a different perspective on your current situation

You’ll be exposed to new ideas, theories, practices, and/or people

You’ll acquire another perspective on career management and success factors

You’ll gain insights by exchanging your views, testing your ideas

You’ll get support and acknowledgment from your Mentor

You’ll work smarter, not harder

Getting started

Mentor Commitment

I will make a personal connection based on trust and mutual respect and listen to my Mentee's needs and concerns

I will help my Mentee to define career goals and provide networking opportunities to attain those goals

I will share my knowledge of educational and professional requirements to prepare my Mentee for his/her career

I will offer information, advice, references, and resources to assist my Mentee's needs

I will offer constructive feedback , and allow my Mentee to learn from his/her mistakes

I will give help and support in a non-threatening way , in a manner that the recipient will appreciate and value and that will empower them to move forward with confidence towards what they want to achieve

Mentee Commitment

I'm responsible for my career goals and would enjoy the benefit of a mentor's guidance to create a plan for success

I'm ready to listen and to share my ideas to develop a give and take relationship

I'm ready to receive objective feedback to consider new ideas and new approaches suggested by my Mentor

I’m ready to give objective feedback to my Mentor in order to work towards our objectives

I have realistic expectations for my Mentor relationship. No one is perfect and good relationships take honesty, effort and time

I'm busy with work, but I'm ready to make a commitment by meeting up / communicating with my Mentor

Mentors and Mentees need people skills and will build these skills through the relationship

They both need communication skills to articulate problems and ideas

To listen and to challenge constructively

The ability to be honest with oneself and the other partner and to reflect upon what is being said, both at the time and subsequently

Capacity for empathy

Taken from Megginson et al Mentoring in Action - a practical guide 2006 Kogan Page

10 Core Competences for Mentors – according to Mentees

Knows what I am talking about, has experienced this

Not intimidating, easy to approach at any time

Interested in me (the Mentee) personally, genuine concern

Provides subtle guidance , but ensures I make decisions

Actually questions me

Willing to debate / challenge me

Will give honest answers

Does not blame, stays neutral

Is enabling, caring, open and facilitative

Gives constructive and positive feedback

Adapted from The effective mentoring section of the Edgehill University core reference material original data from Brigden 2000

12 Habits of an Ineffective Mentor

Think that you know better than the mentee what’s in his or her best interest .

Remind them frequently how much they have still to learn .

Decide what you and the mentee will talk about and when ; change dates and themes frequently to prevent complacency sneaking in.

Do most of the talking ; check frequently that they are paying attention.

Make sure that they understand how trivial their concerns are compared to the weighty issues you have to issue with.

Remind the mentee how fortunate he/she is to have your undivided attention.

Neither show, nor admit any personal weaknesses . Expect to be their role model in all aspects of career development and personal values.

Never ask them what they should expect of you – how would they know anyway?

Demonstrate how important and well connected you are by sharing confidential information they don’t need (or want) to know.

Discourage any signs of levity or humour – this is a serious business.

Take them to task when they don’t follow your advice .

Never, ever admit that this could be a learning experience for both of you .

Source: David Clutterbuck Which are you are more likely to fall back under pressure? Which behaviour is your Mentee most likely to stimulate in you?

Getting started

Some guidelines to an effective Mentoring conversation

It must be completely confidential

Active Listening: ask open-ended questions rather than questions that can be answered with a "yes" or "no“, paraphrasing, don’t interrupt

Understand that a Mentee’s/Mentor’s view of the world may be different from your own

Avoid lecturing or passing judgment

Sensitivity: be sensitive to cultural and gender differences

Time: good mentoring takes time in active discourse and preparation

Don’t avoid positive confrontation , setting challenges together

Mentors guide Mentees through a problem-solving process rather than state a solution to a problem for them

Summarize the conversation, agree on the outcome, take notes on insights and next steps

Personal Vision Tool What I’d like to stop doing or do as little as possible Things I am good to excellent at My most important values Issues or causes I care deeply about Three things I’d do if I won the Lottery Two best moments of my past week What brings me happiness/joy Things I really enjoy doing

Personal Mission Statement

A personal mission statement explains who you are and who you want to be, and what you represent. You can use it to guide you when making choices and decisions, large and small, by asking yourself – does it help me become who I want to be? A personal mission statement also helps you explain who you are to others.

A personal mission statement should answer three questions:

What is my life about – what is my life’s purpose?

What do I stand for – what are my values?

What accomplishments am I working toward that will help me fulfill my life’s purpose in a manner consistent with my values?

Step 1: Clarifying personal purpose and values (use Personal Vision Tool)

Step 2: Drafting a Mission Statement

Look over what you’ve written during Step 1. Then look again at the three questions a mission statement should answer.

Consider how they fit together and how they can lead to a conclusion. Write a rough draft of your personal mission statement. It should be brief but should still express who you are.

My Mission Statement:

What kind of a Mentor will you be?

Before going further, it is a good idea to think back on the relationships that you have had in the past. Who in your past acted as a mentor to you? Take the time to think about a coach, a teacher or a family member who significantly influenced you when you were beginning your career. You will gain more from your future mentoring relationship if you take time, before you begin, to learn from your past. It doesn’t matter whether the person was referred to as a mentor, what is important is how the person influenced you and gave you special attention. Take the time to answer the following questions:

Personal Reflections – Mentors in your past

As you think back to when you were beginning your career, do you recall in any individuals in particular? Who were the people who really made a positive difference in your life? Make a list of them below.

Select two of these individuals who were particularly influential. Why do you think they took a special interest in you? What qualities did you have that made them want to spend time with you or encourage you?

What was it that made each of them a great mentor? What did these important people have in common?

What might these experiences teach you about how you want to be as a mentor? What lessons can you take away from these role models?

After analyzing these mentoring experiences from your past, consider the following:

Mentoring is important to me because:

In becoming a mentor, I hope to gain the following:

My mentee will gain the following from a relationship with me:

What expectations (both mine and the mentee’s) do I need to discuss with my mentee?

The Mentoring Contract

Create a set of specific short term and long term objectives for the relationship

List the preliminary developmental goals for the Mentee

Note the expectations that both of you have for the relationship

List the necessary contributions that both must make so the relationship will work

Create a tentative schedule for your formal meetings

Set up a procedure for handling informal contacts between formal sessions

Determine who has the chief responsibility for driving the relationship

Agree on confidentiality

CHECKLIST Preparing for the first meeting

Where might I meet with my mentor where we both would feel comfortable? List a few ideas below.

What are some things I could tell my mentor about myself that would help us get to know each other a little bit? What about me and my life story might be interesting and relevant to this mentor?

What are some questions I could ask my mentor to get to know him/her a little bit without prying? (Write some possible open-ended questions below)

What do I want out of the mentoring relationship – what are my hopes?

How can I find out what my mentor hopes to get out of the relationship – what questions might I ask?

Prepare a preliminary Personal Development Plan to go over during the meeting. Be careful to listen to how your mentor responds to your preparation. Ask him/her about the strengths or weaknesses of the plan. What does he/she think you need to work on? Can the mentor see opportunities for growth within your career?

Source: Strategies for success in mentoring - APEGGA

Mentee Personal Development Plan When do I need to get there? How can my Mentor help me? When will I be satisfied? How will I know I did it? How will I do it? What to improve/acquire/do? Major objective:

Mentoring Session Reflections Adapted from Lynne Freeman (1999) Other thoughts and feelings What I could experiment with What I could do differently Insights about my role Insights about my professional self Insights about my personal self Concepts, ideas, frameworks which seem relevant / useful to me Mentoring Session # .... Date .../.../...

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