Paralysing Power of Perfectionism Matthew Hoelscher [email_address]
SMILE!
If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
Perfectionism <ul><li>Who is a Perfectionist? </li></ul>
Albert Ellis, PH.D. &quot; How to Control your Anxiety before it Controls You&quot; &quot;The Myth of Self-Esteem&quot;
MUSTerbation <ul><li>&quot;Since it's so awful to fail, that means that I absolutely must succeed and that I'm a thoroughl...
Prefrences Become Musts <ul><li>Musts, Shoulds, Oughts, Demands </li></ul><ul><li>Absolute Autonomy </li></ul><ul><li>Unmi...
If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
Freedom ACT Awareness Choice Trust STOP Step Back Think Organize Proceed Universal Acceptance Self Others Life
<ul><li>Self Esteem </li></ul>
<ul><li>Unconditional </li></ul><ul><li>  Self-Acceptance </li></ul>
 
Alfred Korzybski <ul><li>&quot;I am many of my feelings and actions, but not any one of them.&quot; </li></ul>
<ul><li>Unconditional </li></ul><ul><li>  Other-Acceptance </li></ul>
 
 
<ul><li>Unconditional  </li></ul><ul><li>Life-Acceptance </li></ul>
 
 
 
Acceptance <ul><li>1. Accept the unpleasantness of mistakes and failures   </li></ul><ul><li>2. Accept the frustrations of...
Relasping <ul><li>1. Acknowledge your relapsing   </li></ul><ul><li>2. Thoroughly accept yourself, your being, with your l...
If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
Tim Gallway: &quot; Inner Game of Stress&quot;
ACT <ul><li>Awareness </li></ul><ul><li>Choice </li></ul><ul><li>  </li></ul><ul><li>Trust </li></ul>
Awareness
 
Choice
 
Trust
 
If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
Step Back Think   Organize Proceed
Step Back
 
Think
 
Organize
 
Proceed
 
 
 
Freedom ACT Awareness Choice Trust STOP Step Back Think Organize Proceed Universal Acceptance Self Others Life
 
If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
Paralyzing Power of Perfectionism Matthew Hoelscher [email_address]
 
Title: Paralyzing Power of Perfectionism <ul><li>Matthew (hole-sure) Hoelscher is the President of Miami Executive Coach. ...
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Paralyzing Power Of Perfectionism

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How to free yourself from the anxiety induced from feeling the need to be perfect all the time.

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  • Tim Gallway Ran out of tennis instructors and hired ski Instructors Ski Instructors were rated higher after class &amp;quot;Don&apos;t hit a tennis ball&amp;quot; Bring Awareness to bounce hit and spin Let them choose when they are ready to start hitting the ball Teach the clients to trust themselves
  • Biological tendency to take strong preference and make them insistent demands.
  • How many of you are  perfectionists ? How many of you are  procrastinators ? How do you feel about  practicing ? How many of you are hesitant to start something new? Is he ever going to stop asking questions? How are these questions related?
  • Biological tendency to take strong preference and make them insistent demands.
  • Biological tendency to take strong preference and make them insistent demands.
  • Tim Gallway Ran out of tennis instructors and hired ski Instructors Ski Instructors were rated higher after class &amp;quot;Don&apos;t hit a tennis ball&amp;quot; Bring Awareness to bounce hit and spin Let them choose when they are ready to start hitting the ball Teach the clients to trust themselves
  • The first step to solving any problem is to bring your awareness to how it is right now This is how I am today
  • Once your awareness is tuned, you automatically start consciously making choices. Now you are empowered to change course to a new direction How do I want to be in the future?
  • Now the battle between the your two selves takes place! Your mind tells you everything that is going wrong and how to correct it.  Your consciousness knows what to do. It will work toward fixing the problem now that your awareness is tuned and your mind has made the choice. 
  • Take a step back from your work a few times a day When changing roles from work to picking up kids Work from home Home to dinner with friends Survey the situation
  • What is the truth of what is happening here? What am I feeling about the situation? What are my priorities? What obstacles am I facing? What assumptions am I making? What resources can I access? How can I enjoy myself in this situation?
  • Thoughts do not occur sequentially How do you see the big picture? Mind map the ideas or concepts and draw connections Journal on the topic Talk it over with a friend or coach Think it through from start to finish Go for a walk, move, or just stand up
  • Start again with a clear mind, sense of purpose, and control This is not procrastination or slacking off Mistakes cost time and money Prevention is always the best defense
  • How many of you are  perfectionists ? How many of you are  procrastinators ? How do you feel about  practicing ? How many of you are hesitant to start something new? Is he ever going to stop asking questions? How are these questions related?
  • Transcript of "Paralyzing Power Of Perfectionism"

    1. 1. Paralysing Power of Perfectionism Matthew Hoelscher [email_address]
    2. 2. SMILE!
    3. 3. If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
    4. 4. Perfectionism <ul><li>Who is a Perfectionist? </li></ul>
    5. 5. Albert Ellis, PH.D. &quot; How to Control your Anxiety before it Controls You&quot; &quot;The Myth of Self-Esteem&quot;
    6. 6. MUSTerbation <ul><li>&quot;Since it's so awful to fail, that means that I absolutely must succeed and that I'm a thoroughly inadequate person if I do not! </li></ul><ul><li>&quot;Because unfortunate things keep happening to me, they'll continually happen and make me miserable.&quot; </li></ul><ul><li>&quot;Because I failed pretty miserably at this important project, that means that I'll always fail and never succeed at important things.&quot; </li></ul>
    7. 7. Prefrences Become Musts <ul><li>Musts, Shoulds, Oughts, Demands </li></ul><ul><li>Absolute Autonomy </li></ul><ul><li>Unmitigated Love </li></ul><ul><li>Complete Gratification </li></ul><ul><li>Guarantees </li></ul>
    8. 8. If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
    9. 9. Freedom ACT Awareness Choice Trust STOP Step Back Think Organize Proceed Universal Acceptance Self Others Life
    10. 10. <ul><li>Self Esteem </li></ul>
    11. 11. <ul><li>Unconditional </li></ul><ul><li>  Self-Acceptance </li></ul>
    12. 13. Alfred Korzybski <ul><li>&quot;I am many of my feelings and actions, but not any one of them.&quot; </li></ul>
    13. 14. <ul><li>Unconditional </li></ul><ul><li>  Other-Acceptance </li></ul>
    14. 17. <ul><li>Unconditional  </li></ul><ul><li>Life-Acceptance </li></ul>
    15. 21. Acceptance <ul><li>1. Accept the unpleasantness of mistakes and failures   </li></ul><ul><li>2. Accept the frustrations of other people stopping you </li></ul><ul><li>3. Accept the blocks to your desire that events put in your way </li></ul>
    16. 22. Relasping <ul><li>1. Acknowledge your relapsing   </li></ul><ul><li>2. Thoroughly accept yourself, your being, with your lapses </li></ul><ul><li>3. Look for the Irrational Beliefs (IBs) that led to the relapse </li></ul><ul><li>4. Dispute your IBs vigorously and persistently </li></ul>
    17. 23. If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
    18. 24. Tim Gallway: &quot; Inner Game of Stress&quot;
    19. 25. ACT <ul><li>Awareness </li></ul><ul><li>Choice </li></ul><ul><li>  </li></ul><ul><li>Trust </li></ul>
    20. 26. Awareness
    21. 28. Choice
    22. 30. Trust
    23. 32. If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
    24. 33. Step Back Think   Organize Proceed
    25. 34. Step Back
    26. 36. Think
    27. 38. Organize
    28. 40. Proceed
    29. 44. Freedom ACT Awareness Choice Trust STOP Step Back Think Organize Proceed Universal Acceptance Self Others Life
    30. 46. If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
    31. 47. Paralyzing Power of Perfectionism Matthew Hoelscher [email_address]
    32. 49. Title: Paralyzing Power of Perfectionism <ul><li>Matthew (hole-sure) Hoelscher is the President of Miami Executive Coach. He is a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Matthew has twelve (12) years of sales and five (5) years of product marketing experience. He earned a Bachelor's Degree in Liberal Studies from Iowa State University. He graduated from the University of Miami's Proficient Coaching program. He has been a member of Toastmasters International for 5 years. He has been married for seven (7) years to a feisty woman from Argentina and has 4-year-old fraternal twin boys. He enjoys reading over 50 books a year, scuba diving, and photography above and below the water.  </li></ul><ul><li>After coaching his executive clients he found a pattern of perfectionism that was paralyzing them and keeping them from moving forward. Today will learn how to navigate around these pitfalls. </li></ul><ul><li>Please help me welcome Matthew (hole-sure) Hoelscher....  </li></ul>
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