Problem: Disparate Sleep SchedulesMore Information:We each have different schedules, obligations, habits, and circadian rhythmsthat drive the times that we go to bed at night and wake up in the morning. Adeviation of as little as a half hour difference in sleep schedules between us andour families/housemates can result in not getting enough sleep. Early risers arepulled from deep REM sleep at 1 a.m. when the night owl partner finally retires.Night owls are shocked awake at 5:30 a.m. from the blaring alarm or excitedkids. Next week, we will brainstorm 100 solutions to the problem of disparatesleep schedules.
Bucket #1: Children on different sleep schedules: SOLUTIONS:Put together a scavenger hunt for them the night before.. for them to do when they wake up inthe morning (distraction/gets out of house).Adjust your own schedule to theirs.Give them away.Put the oldest child in charge of the younger ones/delegate… and give them rewards for their help(use of the car, etc.)Put on community movie nights/lock-ins.Have a mom/dad “sleeping” flag outside their door (e.g. red means don’t come in/wake up, greenmeans ok) – tie with rewards.Have a “sleep commune/co-op”. All the kids sleep in 1 room/house and parents take turnswatching over.Have them sleep outside in a tent.Give them Nyquil.Everyone sleeps in the same room so on the same schedule.Do lots of manual labor, get exhausted, fall into bed.Change all T.V. watching to the morning – easier to go to bed at night.Get rid of DVRs completely.Put limits on DVRs.
Problem #1: Children on different sleep schedules: SOLUTIONS:Send them away to … sleepovers... or boarding school… or summer campRecruit help from others like grandparents to come stay and help..… or nannies and babysitters.… or even a morning nanny/doula who helps the kids in the morning and allows you to sleep in.Lock your bedroom door and make it soundproof.Teach them to be self-sufficient with.. how to make their own breakfast, watch TV, get themselvesto school.Give them rewards programs with stars for being self-sufficient.Don’t allow co-sleeping.Trade kids with your friends and neighbors – everyone takes turns with them.Takemykids.com helps facilitate the above (e.g. scheduling and trading kids).Give them distractions: dogs, toys, robots.Automate your house for helping kids in the morning (e.g. like a robot helper)Put in blackout curtains so everyone sleeps later.
Problem #1: Children on different sleep schedules: SOLUTIONS:Put chips in everyone’s brains to control their behavior..… chips to interrupt impulse activities (like watching TV) – modify brainwaves... chips that set a wake/sleep schedule for everyone.Put PSAs before every DVR/movie/TV show about the importance of reading/goodsleep/appropriate bedtimes/etc.Just take naps to deal as needed.Watch all your TV and eat candy and do all the good stuff at school and work, then you won’t stayup late.Move to the jungle and leave our techie scheduled lives behind.Give free money to everyone which frees us up from schedule and worries and we can sleepbetter.Make lottery tickets with better odds, easy to win become rich and not worry about this stuff.Have separate houses for each kid, parent with a shared living space for kitchen etc.
Bucket #2:Night Owls vs. Early Birds: SOLUTIONS:Sleep in separate beds/bedrooms.Just be conscious about being quiet.Make rules like no banging of pots and pans after 10 p.m.Buy a higher quality mattress.Special earplugs that cancel noise and also have a built in alarm specific to that person’s wakeuptime (sound or vibrates).Everyone uses flashlights to see in the dark and not disturb anyone else who is sleeping.Put in low lights along baseboards that help people navigate in the dark and not disturb anyonesleeping.Have special UVA light blocking glasses..… make the night owl watch TV with those glasses, increases their melatonin and get sleepyearlier.Caffeinate the early bird.Drug the night owl.Night owl take baths to get sleepy.Early bird pull the night owl out of bed or let the kids in.Automate all your lights in the house to dim/lighten based on time of day.. mimic outside worldto sync with circadian rhythm.Automate your electronics to shut down internet, TV etc @ X p.m. (forces bedtime).Make special light bulbs that take all the blue light out of lights, TV, computer screen.
Bucket #2:Night Owls vs. Early Birds: SOLUTIONS:Incentivize night owls to come to bed early, e.g. earlybirdsecret.comSpecial get-in-bed instructions/tips/guidebook.Seek partners/roommates based on similar sleep patterns.Web service to match people (roommates, dating) based on sleep patterns e.g. nightowls.com,earlybirds.com – compatibility tests and matching services.Lobby schools to change their start times to later to align with parent schedules.Work at home (more flexible schedule).Flex time culture – change the norms.40 hour work weeks – more balance, easier to manage sleep.“go Amish”, no electricity – less distractions, easier to manage sleep.“Agrarian movement” – back to following the natural cycles of the earth like when we were allfarmers. E.g. sleep when it’s dark, wake when it’s light.Combine the above with automating your house so mixes the natural cycles of the earth withtechnology.Do lots of manual labor, get exhausted, fall asleep and stay asleep easy.Sensory deprivation.If everyone was just rich, then everyone would be a night owl.Holistic view – make environment consistent (e.g. if you have blackout curtains, doesn’t align witheverything else e.g. kids who wake up early)
Bucket #3:Physiology of Sleep SOLUTIONS:Tweak diet and exercise that increases your natural sleep cycles/rhythms.Getting by on less sleep through regular meditation practice.Family friendly set of DVDs for meditation practice – whole family, kid friendly, for night owls vsearly birds.. Night owl vs Early bird compilation DVD.Hypnotism for sleep rhythms.Natural plant derived supplements for food – add to family meals. Special formulas for night owlsand early birds, get everyone synced up.Pharmaceuticals (Tylenol p.m., etc.)Vitamins and naturals including melatonin, magnesium (reduces muscle soreness and relaxes you).Watching a sleeping baby/videos of soothing and relaxing visuals.Audio machine/sound machine with waves, other relaxing sounds.Mobile app that hypnotizes your whole family every night.Physically locate yourself by a naturally soothing sound (ocean, river, etc).Mobile app that tells your kids to go to sleep over and over.Mobile app for when kids wake up early, it gives them something to do… if it is before parentwakeup time, it gives them incentive to play the game (e.g. treasure hunt).Aromatherapy: sleepy time tea, lavender and chamomile scented pillows, etc.Massage and acupuncture to mitigate or incentivize sleeping on schedule.“Massage mattress” either program yourself or you can program to incentivize (get into mattressby 10 p.m., you get a massage!)
Bucket #3:Physiology of Sleep SOLUTIONS:Sci-fi pods where you get in the pod to sleep – reduce the sleep time down to normal human pattern, e.g. controlswhen you go to sleep and wakeup – pheromones, melatonine etc. And we can market it as an “age reducing/agepreserving” mechanism.Wine - lots and lots of wine. Or lots of liquor ala Rip Van Winkle.Pot vaporizers throughout the house – now legal and marketable in Washington State! Like an air freshener.Move to Washington for #89.Hiring a string quartet to play soothing music outside of your bedroom.Getting wind chimes or the nifty bamboo fountain things that click. (Yes, I believe that is what they are officiallycalled.)Remove all stimulants from bedroom and then in contrast, overstimulate the living areas.Hire very attractive people/actors to hang out in your bedroom, thereby increasing motivation to go to bed. Family reading time every night – get in a circle and read a very boring book.Pipe boring book with long, deep, sleepy voice and pipe it through your house surround sound every night at 10p.m.7 day school days – kids will align schedules (e.g. want to sleep in every day).Make school so much fun (or with donut incentives) that kids align schedules (e.g. want to get up early every day).Pill that gives you health benefits while you are sleeping, e.g. it is the equivalent of running 6 miles, or taking aHarvard business class, or make you live an extra year, etc. Create products that give the feeling of productivitywhile sleeping.Have a bed that simulates driving in a car/plane.Put a boogey man under kids’ bed so if they get out too early they grab their ankles.