If your actions inspire
others to dream more,
learn more, do more and
become more, you are a
leader. Leaders are more
powerful role models
when they learn than
when they teach.
LEADERSHIP
AN INTROSPECTIVE VIEW
Leadership From The Inside Out | Michael McGinnis

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Table of Contents
What Is A Leader? .................................................................................................................... 5
Why Do We Need Leaders? ...................................................................................................... 9
Leading versus Managing ....................................................................................................... 12
Recognizing Leaders ............................................................................................................... 14
Leadership From The Inside Out ............................................................................................ 15
A Foundation for Effective Leadership................................................................................... 21
Personal Growth & Development ........................................................................................... 23
Beliefs & Values ..................................................................................................................... 49
Vision & Purpose .................................................................................................................... 59
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4

What Is A Leader?
According to Webster’s Dictionary:
Leader: A person that leads, a person who by force of example, talents, or qualities of leadership,
plays a directing role.
Leadership: The quality of a leader, capacity to lead, is that ingredient of personality which causes
people to follow.
There are literally hundreds of definitions of leaders and leadership. These have been based on
several theories of leadership and as many research projects. The study of leadership is centuries
old. This is best summed up by a quote from Warren Bennis’ book Leaders 1:
“Decades of academic analysis have given us more than 350 definitions of leadership.
Literally thousands of empirical investigations of leaders have been conducted in the last
seventy-five years alone, but no clear and unequivocal understanding exists as to what
distinguishes leaders from non-leaders, and perhaps more important, what distinguishes
effective leaders from ineffective leaders and effective organizations from ineffective
organizations.”
Most of the current literature on leadership describes leaders in terms of characteristics, qualities,
traits, and practices. Based on my experience and research I have come to the following
conclusion:
Leadership emerges. Leaders emerge when an individual either perceives a need to change, or
situational circumstances require change. Something happens within this individual to
consciously take risk and initiative to suggest a change that will create a hopefully more positive
future state. This process begins by envisioning the future state (vision) and then enlisting
followers through convincing, motivating, and empowering them to assist him/her in making the
necessary changes. Leadership only exists when it is perceived to be leadership by their followers.
Leadership requires follower ship. The exception to this is “individual leadership”, when an
individual takes initiative to change themselves or engages themselves in an activity that does not
require the efforts of others (e.g. personal growth and development).
1 "Leaders" by Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus. Published by Harper and Row in 1986, 244 pages.
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There is no single set of characteristics, qualities, traits, or practices that make up leaders. There
are however certain characteristics and qualities that are commonly found in today’s successful
business leaders. From the many lists of leadership characteristics and traits, etc. that exist today,
the following appear to be a summary of the common characteristics and qualities:
Characteristics/Traits/Qualities of Effective Leaders
Competent: Followers must believe that the leader knows what he or she is doing. The leader has
a strong sense of purpose. They are supported by broad knowledge of the field they are in.
Commitment/Dedication: The leader is committed to their own vision. They set an example
through risk-taking and initiative behaviors. They love what they do and see it as an adventure.
Creative: The leader has a sense of wonder, and is able to break through their own
preconceptions and seeing everything from a fresh and new perspective. Encourages others to be
creative and innovative. Accepts, embraces, and encourages error/failure along with learning from
their mistakes.
Honest: Walks like they talk and does what they say they will do. Respects others for their
intelligence versus perceiving knowledge as power.
Inspirational/Motivational: The leader is the evangelist of the vision. Empowers others to take
ownership in the vision. Makes people feel significant. Has high energy and encourages people by
pulling them versus pushing them.
Humble: Being noble of mind and heart, generous in forgiving, above revenge or resentment.
Integrity: Maintains standards representing moral behavior. Establishes relationships based on
trust, respect, and caring.
Openness: Willingness to try new things and hear new ideas, a tolerance for ambiguity and
change, and a rejection of any and all preconceived prejudices, biases, and stereotypes. Values
learning.
People Oriented: Cares about people, considers people to be the most important asset to the
company or organization. Considers growth and needs of the people in all decisions.
Self- Aware: Intimately acquainted with self. Accepts feedback from others. Values personal
growth and development.
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Self-Confident: Maintains a healthy ego and high self-esteem.
Skills: Keen mind (moderately strong analytical ability, good judgement, capacity to think
strategically and multidimensional). Strong interpersonal skills (ability to develop good working
relationships quickly, empathy, ability to sell, sensitivity to people and environment).
Visionary/Forward-Thinking: Ability to foresee and articulate a viable future state for the
organization. Makes use of broad set of information. Able to articulate and communicate vision to
organization in a way that gets buy-in and commitment. Makes vision tangible and real to others.
Vulnerable: Will to be themselves, whoever that may be versus maintaining a facade. Letting
others see that they are human too. Contributes to overall credibility of leader.
A favorite definition of mine:
“The word leadership is used in two basic ways in everyday conversation; (1) to
refer to the process of moving a group of people in some direction through mostly
non-coercive means, and (2) to refer to people who are in roles where leadership
is expected. In normal conversation the second is most common....”Good”
leadership moves people in a direction that is genuinely in their real long-term
best interests. It does not march people off a cliff. It does not wast their scarce
resources. It does not build up the dark side of their human nature.”
(John Kotter, The Leadership Factor)
The challenge is defining what are the long-term best interests and for whom. Today good
leadership is often used to define those individuals who create more profit for their organization
which is to benefit the owners and stockholders. An organization’s primary customer has become
these owners who are only interested in profit, and mostly short term. This appears to be the
albatross we have hung around Corporate America’s neck. We have forgotten about the people
within our organization and the role of business in America. I can remember the first definitions
of business I had learned in college. Business was an institution created within the society to
benefit the society as a whole, not the select few. We have lost the essence of effective leadership
as we have more towards a society focusing primarily on the short term.
7

The New Leadership Paradigm: A Flock of Geese
“Then one day I got it. What I really wanted in the organization was a group of responsible,
interdependent workers, similar to a flock of geese. I could see the geese flying in the “V”
formation, the leadership changing frequently, with different geese taking the lead. I saw every
goose being responsible for getting itself to wherever the gaggle was going, changing roles
whenever necessary, alternating as a leader, a follower, or a scout. And then when the task
changed, the geese would be responsible for changing the structure of the group to accommodate,
similar to the geese that fly in a “V” but land in wavers. I could see each goose being a leader.”
• Leaders transfer ownership for work to those who execute the work.
• Leaders create the environment for ownership where each person wants to be responsible.
• Leaders coach the development of personal capabilities.
• Leaders learn fast themselves and encourage others also to learn quickly.
(Belasco & Stayer, Flight of The Buffalo)
8

Why Do We Need Leaders?
“The business world is turbulent, its waters spoiled by scandals and a recent stock
market crash. The political world is in upheaval, rocked by secret arms deals with
terrorists and concessions to foreign despots who deal in drugs and have only
contempt for the concept of human rights. The very fabric of our society is being
unraveled by unchecked crime and drug traffic, increasing poverty and illiteracy,
and unprecedented cynicism toward possible solution. Who’s in charge here? The
answer seems to be, no one.”
Warren Bennis, Why Leaders Can’t Lead
Corporations are facing the same type of turmoil as our society and governments are. Global
competition and rapidly changing business environments are placing tremendous pressures on
business as profits are eroding. What has made America once successful is no longer working.
Major changes are necessary in our perspectives, values, and definitions of success.
We are quickly becoming a global society whether we like it or not. The piece of pie that has
defined market size and share can only be split so many ways, and there are more and more
countries that are seeking their share of this pie. Over the past one hundred years, the United
States held on to the biggest slice of the pie. Two World Wars helped the United States retain a
near monopolistic position. This has since changed, and the concept of world war again appears
unlikely. The pie must now be shared.
Business along with the economy are built on the concept of competition. The essence of
competition is that someone wins and someone loses. It is based on survival of the fittest. A new
age is upon us that will demand that we pursue “win-win” situations for everyone involved. The
age of monopoly is over and a new age of cooperation and managed development is upon us.
These will require new definitions of business, economics, success, and growth.
Leaders are critical to making these changes happen. They not only develop the foresight for what
the changes should be, but are able to effectively get others to make the necessary steps required
to produce the change.
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Currently there is a crisis in leadership within America that is evident in government as well as in
industry. We have produced many obstacles to promoting leadership and establishing well led
organizations. We are currently over managed and under led. We have lost the concept of
meaningful and wholesome values in our leaders. We have forgotten about those who will inherit
what we have done.
That is why the major emphasis of this book is on personal growth and development. It is in this
stage that one is confronted with their basic values and beliefs and is able to change them if they
so desire. Once leadership is based on a set of positive values, others will be influenced to do the
same. It is this same dynamic that is evident in today’s families. The concept of parental
leadership with respect to healthy parenting that is so necessary and critical to building the values
of the next generation has given way to personal greed and self-centeredness. Values are the
foundation to a society and without them, the society quickly becomes lost. We are at a point
where the cracks are evident in our society’s foundation. We must focus on repairing the cracks
before the whole foundation crumbles around us.
Where Have All The Leaders Gone?
“They’re out pleading, trotting, temporizing, putting out fires, trying to avoid too much heat or
legal problems. They’re peering out at a landscape of bottom lines. They’re money changers lost
in a narrow orbit. They resign. They burn out. They decide not o run or serve. They motivate
people through fear, by following trends or by posing as advocates of “reality” which they
cynically make up as they go along. In the last two decades, there has been a high turnover, an
appalling mortality, both occupational and actuarial, among leaders.”
“America today has games men, not leaders. These are men and women who are vastly clever and
ambitious but have no real understanding or vision. Unable to deal with competition from abroad,
the games men have cried foul and demanded protectionist legislation. With no holds barred,
mega-corporations consume other mega-corporations. The games men who set up these mega-
deals win, while everyone else loses.”
“Thus, precisely at the time when the trust and credibility of our alleged leaders are at an all time
low and when potential leaders most inhibited in exercising their gifts, America most needs
leaders, because of course, as the quality of leadership declines, the quantity of problems
escalates.”
Warren Bennis, Why Leader’s Can’t Lead
10

11

Leading versus Managing
The difference between leading and managing is best summarized by three series of quotes:
“There is a profound difference between management and leadership, and both are
important. To manage means to bring about, to accomplish, to have charge of or
responsibility for, to conduct. Leading is influencing, guiding in direction, course of action,
opinion. Managers are people ho do things right, and leaders are people who do the right
things. The difference may be summarized as activities of vision and judgement -
effectiveness versus activities of mastering routines - efficiency. By focusing attention on the
vision, the leader operates on the emotional and spiritual resources of the organization, on
its values, commitment, and aspirations. The manager by contrast, operates on the physical
resources of the organization, on its capital, human skills, raw materials, and technology.”
Warren Bennis, Leaders
“One of the ideas generating the most controversy as well as interest at the “Time”
conference was that leaders grow through mastering painful conflict during their
developmental years, while managers confront few of the experiences that generally cause
people to turn inward. Managers perceive life as a steady progression of positive events,
resulting in security at home, in school, in the community, and at work. Leaders are “twice
born” individuals who endure major events that lead to a sense of separateness, or perhaps
estrangement, from their environments. Asa result, they turn inward in order to reemerge
with a created rather than inherited sense of identity. That sense of separateness may be a
necessary condition for the ability to lead. Management consists of the rational assessment
of a situation and the systematic selection of goals and purposes; the systematic
development of strategies to achieve these goals; the marshaling of the required resources;
the rational design, organization, direction, and control of the activities required to attain
the selected purposes; and, finally the motivating and rewarding of people to do the work.
Leaders differ from managers in that they have different attitudes toward their goals,
careers, relationships with others, and themselves.”
Abraham Zaleznik, Managers and Leaders: Are they different?
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“If we define management as the administrative ordering of things - with written plans,
clear organizational charts, well-documented annual objectives, frequent reports, detailed
and precise position descriptions, and regular evaluations of performance against
objectives - then it is true that many organizations are well managed. And, no one can deny
that competent management is essential to any organization. Leadership, on the other
hand, pulls us into a new dimension. Leaders provide visionary inspiration, motivation, and
direction-setting. Leadership generates an emotional connection between the leader and
the led. Leadership attracts people and ignites them to put forth incredible efforts in a
common cause. Leadership in this sense (it is generally agreed) is missing from most of
today’s public and private organizations.”
John H. Zenger, Zenger-Miller, Inc., Leadership: Management’s Better Half”
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Recognizing Leaders
“Right now, there are probably thousands of potential leaders in America, young men and
women full of passion for the promises of life with no outlets for that passion, because we
scorn passion even as we reward ambition. Obviously, the people in change not merely the
content of a particular discipline but it’s practice and focus are not only innovators but
leaders. How do we identify and develop such innovators? Innovators, like all creative
people, see things differently, think in fresh and original ways. They have useful contacts in
other areas, other institutions; they are seldom seen as good organizational men or women
and often viewed as troublemakers. The true leader not only is him/her self an innovator but
makes every effort to locate and use other innovators within the organization. He or she
creates a climate in which conventional wisdom can be questioned and challenged and one
in which errors are embraced rather than shunned in favor of safe, low-risk goals.”
Warren Bennis, Why Leaders Can’t Lead
Although there are theories that say leaders are born and not made, it is my belief that
everyone has leadership potential. It is more a question of whether the individual is willing
to recognize this talent and choose to express it. Today’s business environment and even
our society discourages leadership which inhibits individuals efforts to practice leadership.
Leadership is often perceived in a negative manner. Leadership requires taking risks and
initiative, which is discouraged by fear of failure, fear of repercussion (lawsuits, loss of job,
demotion, etc.) , fear of change or comfort with the status quo.
Recognizing leaders provides an interesting dilemma. How can leaders emerge if the
environment is not conducive to this? If leaders do emerge, do we treat them as
troublemakers or outsiders as described above? It appears that we have to better understand
leadership before we can seek out or recognize emerging leaders because our old paradigms
of successful leaders or managers may not be appropriate to assess the type of leaders we
need today.
We cannot afford to wait for the environments to become conducive to leaders emerging.
We can begin with accepting that fact that each of us can make a difference and begin by
changing ourselves first. We can become an effective leader by developing and enhancing
our own leadership abilities. We can begin by learning how to lead ourselves first, then by
becoming an example to others and most importantly - our children.
14

Leadership From The Inside Out
When Yen Ho was about to take up his duties as tutor to their heir of Ling, Duke of Wei, he
went to Ch’u Po Yu for advice. “I have a deal, he said, with a man depraved and
murderous disposition. How is one to deal with a man of this sort?” I am glad, said Ch’u
Po Yu, that you asked this question. The first thing you must do is not to improve him, but
to improve yourself.”
Taoist story of Ancient China
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways,
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change
You gotta get it right, while you got the time
'Cause when you close your heart
Then you close your mind
Lyrics from “Man in the mirror” by Michael Jackson
Introduction
One cannot lead and influence others effectively without being able to lead themselves first.
This is the premise for this paper. Whether leadership takes the form of parenting our
children, volunteering for a charity organization, or the CEO of a major corporation, our
ability to influence others for the betterment of a larger purpose (e.g. society, organization,
employees), is primarily a factor of how well we have taken that hard look in the mirror in
order to understand who and what we are all about. This is referred to as building our
Foundation for Effective Leadership. Otherwise we are prone to subject others to our ways,
our goals, our standards, which is more influenced by external factors (e.g. greed, power),
that tends to result in focusing only on short term results and for the benefit of a few.
A great example exists within the corporate world and automotive industry, Toyota has
continually moved up the ranks and has become the leader. If you look behind the scenes
15

and study “The Toyota Way” their foundation begins with the “4P’s”; Philosophy, Process,
People & Partners, and Problem Solving. Consider the power of their philosophy.
At the most fundamental level, Toyota’s leaders see the company as a vehicle for
adding value to customers, society, the community and its associates. This is not naïve
political mumbo jumbo. It’s real. It goes back to the founder, Sakichi Toyoda, and his
desire to invent power looms to make life simpler for women in the farming community
in which he grew up. It continued when Sakichi asked his son Kiichiro Toyoda to make
his own contribution to the world by starting an automobile company. It is imprinted
in all of Toyota’s leaders today. It sets the foundation for all the other principles 2.
Significant efforts are made at Toyota to develop their leaders through intense education of
The Toyota Way, and most importantly role modeling the philosophy. Further defined in The
Toyota Way Fieldbook, “the responsibility for living the philosophy falls straight on the
shoulders of a particular and easily identifiable group: leadership. All executives, managers,
directors, supervisors, group leaders, or whatever else you call them have to live the
philosophy ‘every day in a very consistent manner.’ Leaders have to lead by
example…consistently. To do this requires a major commitment, starting from the very top of
the company. It is not just and abstract philosophical commitment…it is a commitment to a
‘way’ – a way of looking at the business purpose, of looking at processes, of looking at
people…”
The goal is to become an effective leader, which begins by applying the concept of effective
personal leadership. For the purposes of this paper, I will use the following leadership
definitions.
EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP: The ability to turn a dream, a vision of a desired future
state, into reality - with and through the willing cooperation of other people for the
betterment of a larger purpose and ultimately society.
EFFECTIVE PERSONAL LEADERSHIP: The ability to apply the basic principles and
characteristics of effective leadership to oneself first. To be intimately acquainted and
confident with oneself, with their values, beliefs, strengths & weaknesses, and purpose; and
then to pursue their purpose with courage, conviction, action, and love.
2 Liker, Jeffrey and David Meier. The Toyota Way Fieldbook. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2006
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Educational programs and initiatives need to be launched to educate people of all ages, how
to become effective leaders while also learning how to “take responsibility” which has
become something many avoid at all costs and instead play the role of victim blaming
others for their bad misfortune. These educational initiatives must provide the means and
tools to help people to understand the importance of their personal growth & development.
This will involve heavy emphasis in the beginning on developing greater self-awareness
and the development of a healthy self-esteem.
The concepts presented in this book are based on the premise that those individuals with a
healthy self-esteem and self-awareness do not and will not intentionally mislead or hurt
others. Instead they have recognized the value of synergy, that the whole is greater than the
sum of the individual parts. While recognizing their full potential and having a desire to
express this potential, they also have recognized that potential exists within everyone and
search for ways to tap into this raw talent. Greed and self-indulgence give way to a win-win
situations along with the reality that there is much to work to do, and the need for
individuals to take on more responsibility in order to overcome the many challenges facing
our society and world today.
The leadership development programs that I have observed having the greatest impact have
been those that have offered segments on developing a much greater awareness of
themselves. The impact was the personal changes the individuals made as a result of
learning more about their personality, personality styles, preferred leadership style, and
most importantly the willingness to change for the better. The outcome of this introspective
journey is the new foundation upon which their life, career, relationships, overall purpose,
and ability to lead others effectively, becomes.
However, as the saying goes, “you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them
drink.” There must be a conscious choice to develop greater self-awareness, along with a
real sense of purpose to sustain their development efforts since the journey of personal
growth and development can be very challenging, painful and demanding. This will require
significant efforts on the part of those who have made this journey to help motivate, educate
and support others. It is important that we start this process early in the development of our
children when they can be influenced to a greater extent.
It is through an active personal growth and development phase that one learns why they act
like they do and the consequences this currently has on themselves and others. It is a
process to identify voids or gaps between how we are now and where we want to be. Once
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these gaps are narrowed, the emphasis shifts towards developing the values and beliefs an
effective leader wants to base their leadership style upon. An effective leader recognizes
that it is how they “walk their talk” that has the most positive and long-term influence on
others versus just “talking their talk” which often leads to loss of respect, faith, and
integrity. Finally, an effective leader discovers and develops their personal purpose and
vision. This vision is the beacon of light, the light at the end of the tunnel, representing their
life-long purpose and quest.
This foundation is essential to maximize the positive influence one can have on others. The
word “positive” is defined as efforts that are made by the effective leader to improve the
effectiveness and quality of the whole versus the self or a select few. History is full of
examples of leaders who were effective in terms of influencing others to follow what has
later proven to be a path of destruction. The successful evolution of the human condition
demands a new consciousness on the part of the leaders. We are quickly becoming a global
society where parochial views must give way to broader and more holistic vantage points.
We are moving away from a “black” and “white” world where the focus will be on balance
and compromise versus right and wrong. Borders will become gray areas as the world
begins its search for a more effective way to co-exist. The fall of the Berlin Wall, the end of
communism in the former U.S.S.R., and the end of apartheid in South Africa, are all
examples of this new level of thought or consciousness evolving. Global warming and
recessions continue to remind us that we are all in this together and how inter-connected we
truly are.
This new level of consciousness is necessary in today’s organizations which are faced with
global competition. The parochial view of Corporate America leaders during the growth
and development of foreign industry led to the near destruction of our once monopolistic
state. Global mindsets will be required to lead industry into this new era of competition. As
more and more areas of the world desire their fair share or “slice of the pie”, new
paradigms will need to evolve to create “win-win” situations versus only “survival of the
fittest.”
Today’s followers have come to expect little from their leaders which has resulted in
apathy. They have heard all of the words before, but have found little to convince them that
their leaders truly are concerned about their well being and growth. Currently unpopular
positions such as Ross Perot’s campaign in 1992, stated the need for a shared sacrifice by
everyone in order to confront the current financial, economic, environmental, and social
18

problems. These will eventually become the new platforms for political campaigns and
leadership. This will be necessary to overcome the deep rooted issues plaguing our society
such as: drugs, loss of family values, teenage pregnancies, pollution, endangered species,
poverty, disease, homeless people, etc. All of which are symptomatic of a culture in decay
as it has lost its sense of meaning.
The results from a recent survey of American households were best summed up by its title,
“Researchers find lack of trust in leaders, institutions is major factor in US economic
crisis”. One of the key reasons for this lack of trust was: “Levels of trust were also low
among those who blamed companies, citing poor corporate governance (15 percent) or
managerial greed (36 percent).” 3 Unfortunately we hear too often about the impact that
poor leadership and greed has had on business, government and all of their employees and
citizens respectively. And these are the role models for others assuming leadership roles!
Undoubtedly, these and other changes will result in chaos, confusion, and uncertainty for
generations as we struggle with new concepts and paradigm shifts. New paradigms such as
the new government structure in South Africa, where once rivals are learning how to work
together for the hopeful benefit of every South African, no matter what color of skin they
may have. It will be essential for these new leaders to prepare the people of their country
for uneasy and challenging transitions. There are no guarantees to the outcomes which is
the risk associated with pursuing new directions. However, it is clear that an essential
ingredient of successful change is successfully preparing those affected by the change for
the transition.
My belief is that we are at a crossroads. The choice of our future, our children’s future lie
within the decisions we make today. As history has demonstrated, societies and
governments come and go, but the constant remains the human condition and its
relationship with each other and the earth in which they reside. This relationship has
deteriorated and is in need of major repair. Choosing to divorce vs. mend these
relationships will only result in the further decay and destruction of the human condition.
We are so preoccupied with the self and only see our differences rather than realizing that
we are all in this together. The signs are all pointing to the need to develop and foster
symbiotic relationships, but our egos get in the way. Just like John Lennon’s song, Imagine,
3 Chicago Booth/Kellogg School Financial Trust Index, “Researchers find lack of trust in leaders,
institutions is major factor in US economic crisis” January 27, 2009. <
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-01/msl-rfl012709.php>
19

the positive side to what appears to be despair is the gradual awakening of more and more
people.
New leaders must emerge that share the vision of a new tomorrow. Throughout history such
leaders have emerged that are willing to stand up and at all costs, including the sacrifice of
their own life, for sake of helping others see the light. Each of these factors demands the
emergence of a new style of leadership to meet the demands of a very complex and chaotic
world. This will require new vision and education, along with the most difficult element, a
willingness to let go of what previously was successful and rewarding. This will be the case
for all involved. Those currently in power will be faced with letting go of this power for
sake of sharing it with others. Those who have been the followers and bitter, will need to let
go of this bitterness for sake of developing unprecedented levels of teamwork and taking on
responsibility.
20

A Foundation for Effective Leadership
The Foundation for Effective Leadership incorporates three basic elements; Personal
Growth & Development, Beliefs & Values, and a Personal Vision. Once the foundation has
been defined, than traditional leadership and management development will build upon this
foundation by developing skills such as coaching, giving & receiving feedback, positive
discipline, team development, motivation, goal setting, managing change, etc. Using the
analogy of building a house, a weak foundation can cause the house to crumble. The more
aware an individual is, and the more they have developed this awareness into a solid
understanding of their personal vision, beliefs and values, and strengths and development
areas, the more effective a leader they will be.
Although there is debate over the question whether leaders are born or made, it has been my
experience and observation, that some may be born with certain qualities or personality
characteristics more suitable to certain leadership roles, however, anyone can make a choice
to be a more effective leader. This suggests that whether you are a teenager, a parent, a
volunteer, an individual contributor or in a designated leadership role, you can learn to lead.
The elements of the foundation are all interrelated. One can have a great vision, but without
sound values, it is easy for the vision to become self-serving. A leader can have great self-
awareness and solid values, but without a focus, their actions and energy are scattered and
less productive. One can have sound beliefs and values, but without self-awareness, self-
21

esteem and self-confidence (outputs from personal growth and development), these may be
easily corrupted by external influence.
Personal Growth & Development: Personal growth and development is the means we use
to understand who we are. Basically it allows us to; 1) become more aware of ourselves, 2)
determine what we like and do not like about ourselves, 3) understand why we behave like
we do, 4) define what we want to be, and, 5) make the necessary changes to achieve this
goal. It is an ongoing process of holding up a mirror and analyzing what we see until we
really like what is in the reflection.
Beliefs & Values: What drives us to do what we do, to make the decisions we make, to act
in the manner we act? These are in large part driven by what we believe in and value. A
Secret Service agent is willing to take a bullet for who they protect. Why? Because they
believe in and value their role to the point where they would die for others. A parent
sacrifices their personal interests for sake of spending more time with their children. Why?
Because they value their family and place the importance of the family over themselves. An
effective leader clearly understands their beliefs and values and lives them.
Personal Vision: A dream is defined here as a desired outcome one reflects upon at times
that produces feelings of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. There is no action however upon
the dream. A personal vision is the awareness of one’s purpose. The awareness is so
compelling that it compels the individual to take action in a certain way or manner. An
organizational vision is a statement of purpose and desired outcome for the organization,
created with the intention of rallying support and action towards the fulfillment of the
vision. Purpose is a deeper understanding of why the pursuit of the vision is necessary. It is
a statement of why the individual or organization exists.
The next three sections focus on each of the three elements of the foundation for effective
leadership.
22

Personal Growth & Development
W hat the caterpillar
calls the end of the world,
the master calls a
butterfly.
Y our only
obligation in any lifetime
is to be true to yourself.
Being true to anyone else or
anything else is not only
impossible, but the
mark of a fake
messiah.4
An effective leader is an individual that is intimately acquainted with themselves. They
know who, what and why they are. They have confronted the man or woman in the mirror,
understanding their strengths, their issues and their consequences, their tendencies and
patterns, what they believe in and value and why, their goals and aspirations, and all translated
into a continuous personal growth & development plan. Why continuous? Because personal
growth should never end. There is always something new to learn, the continual challenge of
dealing and/or coping with deep rooted issues, but most significantly the opportunity to self-
actualize.
Personal growth and development is the means we use to understand who we are. Basically it
allows us to; 1) become more aware of ourselves, 2) determine what we like and do not like
about ourselves, 3) understand why we behave like we do, 4) define what we want to be, and,
5) make the necessary changes to achieve this goal. It is an ongoing process of holding up a
mirror and analyzing what we see until we really like what is in the reflection.
Personal growth is a scary topic. The discomfort with this subject comes from its ability to
produce discomfort, fear, and pain. We are a people that have primarily been taught who to be
and how we should act. Few of us learn to identify our uniqueness, and instead we conform.
Few learn to express their full potential, and instead to follow the aspirations others have for
4 Bach, Richard. Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul.
23

them. There is little education, if any, that assists us in exploring our uniqueness and true
potential.
Most of us don masks that hide who we really are. We are afraid to remove these masks for
fear that it will unveil a person that we do not like or understand. Instead we seek justification
from those around us to support our choices even though we may not be happy. Many are not
aware that they have choices. Instead they find comfort blaming others for their woes, instead
of taking responsibility for their own situations.
One of the most powerful concepts learned in the area of personal growth and development is
that of attitude. Who we are is primarily a result of our attitudes and beliefs that we developed
in our formative years. These attitudes and beliefs define how we see ourselves and the world
around us. This became our paradigm about the world and life itself that we based most of our
actions upon. These influences came from our parents, teachers, religious leaders, television,
peers, and friends. Take some time to observe the types of influencing factors that our children
are exposed to today. It may be scary to witness the amount of violence and negativity
surrounding them. What kinds of influences were you exposed to? How did this effect your
attitude and beliefs?
There are powerful slogans learned that if accepted can lead to making significant changes in
one’s attitude and beliefs. One such slogan is, “Attitude Is A Choice” or “Happiness Is A
Choice”, “You Can Change Your Attitude.” To many these slogans are met with resentment or
shrugged off at first. We don’t want to believe they are true. Life was easier when we could
blame others for our challenges. These slogans mean that I have to take responsibility and stop
the blame. That is hard to do. Below is a favorite quote on Attitude.
Attitude by Charles Swindoll
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than
education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other
people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will
make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace
for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a
certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
24

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am
convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with
you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes.
Today we are becoming more aware, with the many forms of tools for self discovery, talks
shows, inspirational movies, how our pasts have influenced who we are today. It is
commonplace to hear the words; dysfunctional, co-dependency, fear of rejection, self-esteem,
etc. We may have been subjected to one of the many types of abuse children have been
exposed to in the dysfunctional family experience. For those who encountered such
experiences, our beliefs, attitudes, and self-esteem were significantly influenced by them. The
outcome is commonly a low sense of self-esteem and unhealthy patterns that either attempt to
mask this insecurity or create consequences that support that we are unworthy.
There is a growing emphasis in our society today to promote the development of a healthy self-
esteem in our children. This needs to be the number one priority in all aspects of raising and
educating our children. Unfortunately, teaching self-esteem requires having a healthy self-
esteem. We cannot teach that which we do not know. Developing a healthy self-esteem is one
of the primary outcomes sought during the personal growth and development process.
This is the basis for giving ourselves permission to be who we want to be along with
developing the courage and self-confidence to be this person.
Personal Growth and Development is a process. It is similar to peeling away the layers of an
onion. The process begins by examining the outer layers which are those aspects of self that
are most evident. We leave the state of denial and choose to recognize the negative
consequences we are experiencing. We realize that we are; overweight, unhappy, having
difficulty working with others, stressed out, ill, having difficulties in relationships, subject to
drinking problems or one of the many “isms”. The catalyst for personal growth is a decision, a
choice, to confront and overcome these behaviors and consequences. We are confronted with
the question of whether we are willing to change in order to create better consequences. Once
we combine willingness with action we enter the arena of personal growth and
development.
Peeling away the first few layers is typically painful, similar to the analogy of the tears we
experience from peeling an onion. This pain, along with the fear of the unknown, and
uncertain of what lies ahead, are the first obstacles we encounter. We come to a signpost in the
road. It reads, “Danger, hazardous roads ahead.” We can choose to turn around going back to
where we once were. This is the path of comfort, security, and the avoidance of pain and fear
25

of the unknown. Continuing on down the road leads us to a destination unknown. Others who
have ventured down this road speak of the challenges, obstacles, and pain they encountered,
but also of a better place they have ultimately found well worth the journey.
Fortunately, there are many resources to support those that make this choice. Most bookstores
today have large sections devoted to personal growth. These resources along with the many
other tools available, let those who pursue this journey realize that they are not alone. They
provide the inspiration and support to confront ourselves and learn the methods to reprogram
ourselves.
However, not everyone makes this choice. One of the powerful lessons learned in life is that
everyone can and will make their own choices. Even those confronted with very painful
situations (e.g. abusive relationships), turn away from friends or others who offer the helping
hand. Their choice is to remain in a familiar area, that appears more comfortable than
venturing into the unknown. The saying below refers to this choice.
“The Call”
“Throughout your life, there is a voice only you can hear. A Voice which mythologists label
‘the call.’ A call to the value of your own life. The choice of risk and individual bliss over the
known and secure.
You may choose not to hear your spirit. You may prefer to build a life within the compound, to
avoid risk. It is possible to find happiness within a familiar box, a life of comfort and control.
Or, you may choose to be open to new experiences, to leave the limits of your conditioning, to
hear the call. Then you must act.
If you never hear it perhaps nothing is lost. If you hear it and ignore it, your life is lost.”
Anonymous
How does the concept of personal growth relate to leadership? Realizing that one of the key goals
for personal growth is the healthy development of an individual’s self-esteem, how effective
would a leader be if they had low self-esteem?
To have low self esteem is to not value, or have high regard for yourself. People with low self
esteem never feel in charge of their own lives. They often feel like victims. They feel like
26

outsiders, left out, unimportant, etc. However, low self-esteem has two faces. One is the
personality that seems to always be the underdog, the under achiever, the negative one, the one
who says I can’t, I couldn’t, I shouldn’t, I have to. The other face is the person who seems very
confident, a take charge type of person, very in control, very opinionated, positional, and often in
leadership positions. All of this bravado is still a face of low self esteem. This type of person, may
exhibit any or all of these traits: when things go wrong, wants to eat other people alive, or is a
perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, can’t take criticism, instruction, or direction, is very
independent and self sufficient. They may be in leadership positions, and yet not be true leaders.
This type of low self esteem will often deny that anything is wrong, because thinking they are in
charge is their protection, yet truly being in charge of your life, eliminates anger, irritation, the
desire to control others.5
The choice to pursue personal growth and development is the first step an individual can take to
become an effective leader. Leaders are self-made. They are the result of individuals making
difficult choices and therefore building character. These are the people who are able to gain
respect because others are positively influenced by the steps they have taken with their lives.
We are creatures of comfort and attempt to avoid anything that produces pain and displeasure. Yet
it is this avoidance of these elements that keeps us from recognizing our full potential. It is our
awareness of who we truly are that opens the door to becoming our full potential. This is the
destination we seek, the fulfillment of our life’s quest. The farther one is willing to go on this
journey, the more effective a leader they become. We limit ourselves based on the fear we have
of learning who we really are. It is easier to remain in the mainstream than to take this detour into
an unknown place.
An example of this type of journey is found in the movie, “Dances With Wolves.” Kevin Costner
plays a role of an individual who has experienced a “wake-up” call when he discovers that he is
about to lose his leg. After a heroic effort to kill himself, he begins a journey which eventually
leads him to a place where he is all alone. Most people would find this very uncomfortable
because we are not used to being alone and fear the very thought. Unable to busy ourselves we
would only end up being confronted with ourselves. Here he began his introspective journey
using a journal to document the experiences. Life became his teacher, and soon many teachers
came to him. Once exposed to the Native American Indians, he ultimately discovered a new set of
5 Perera, Karl “Self Esteem” More-Selfesteem.com. 14 Jan. 2009. <http://www.more-
selfesteem.com/selfesteemarticle.htm>
27

values he chose to make his own. A pivotal time was when the chief of the Indian tribe stated to
Kevin’s character, “you are no longer character’s name, you are now Dances With Wolves, based
on the symbolism and befriending a wolf.
Kevin Costner’s journey in this film characterizes many of the aspects of an introspective journey.
Typically a wake-up call inspires us to make this journey. These experiences, which will be
discussed in more detail later, are so painful and profound that our efforts to deny and suppress
the pain within are diminished. We are confronted with the fight or flight reactions, or the choice
to grow from the experience. Once Mr. Costner was unsuccessful in his suicide attempt, the
extreme form of flight or escape, he made the choice to grow from the experience.
An introspective journey begins when we are tired of running from ourselves and begin to search
for the answers to our deeper and more profound questions. We take either a voluntary “time-
out” from our busy routines, or find ourselves forced into a time-out situation (e.g. heart attack,
illness, accident, break-up of a relationship, etc.). Within most sporting events, time-outs are used
when the goals are not being achieved. The action is temporarily stopped while analysis of what
is going wrong is determined, in order to develop a plan to hopefully correct the situation.
We are not accustomed in this society to taking a time out for our own personal lives. We hear the
question, “are you keeping busy?” whenever we experience a traumatic event. Although the state
of busyness may be helpful during the initial stages of shock and denial, if this state continues
then we eventually avoid the natural and normal grieving process. Some cultures used to promote
traditions such as wearing black clothing for a period of one year following a spouses’ death for
purposes enforcing the grieving period. We have lost this sense of tradition in our culture in
pursuit of a fast paced materialistic lifestyle. The answers that are found in the state of busyness or
other escapes include alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, materialism, workaholism, etc.
Taking a time-out requires risk and the use of some type of formal strategy to take a deeper look
within. Whether it is keeping a journal, reading self-help books, attending therapy and personal
growth workshops, etc., the individual gathers information that can be used to better understand
themselves. The type of journey Kevin Costner took may be impossible for most of us who have
responsibilities to care for. In addition, leaving the comforts and security of home may be too
scary, so we must find an alternative to analyze our lives.
We are fortunate in our society to have so many resources available to us for this search.
Counseling centers are abound as a result of the increasing numbers of people pursing personal
28

growth. Self-help books have grown as well, often complimenting therapy. These alternatives
offer us the means of taking mini time-outs while keeping our responsibilities.
29

Identifying Development Areas
The Johari Window
A recent leadership survey of 5000 professionals concludes that over 69% of leaders exhibit
various personality traits that effectively derail their careers (DDI, 2001). 16% have a leadership
style that is so "imperceptive" that they are just "unknown" question marks to those around them.
They are invisible and provide no guidance or direction to the organization. 23% micromanage
everything and everyone to the point that people want them to just leave. And 30% are "overly
concrete." DDI has identified 11 such "derailers:" impulsiveness, low tolerance for ambiguity,
arrogance, micromanaging, self-promotion, volatility, an aversion to risk, defensiveness, a lack of
perception, too much dependence on approval, and eccentricity. The question is, if you were
derailing your potential as a leader, would you willingly solicit feedback? Due to the
psychodynamics of leadership, most would not stretch themselves by opening themselves to
feedback or by making their authentic self visible so people could give any feedback.6
Depending on the organization leaders work for, the value placed on leadership development can
vary significantly. In organizations that place a higher value on results and less on how these
results are achieved, there is probably little motivation for those in leadership positions to focus
on personal growth. In other organizations, where higher values are placed on people, there may
be a greater interest in developing the leaders of their organization. The impetus to develop
leadership skills in these cases comes externally, meaning that someone else is influencing your
development. In other cases, the drive comes internally, from an innate desire to improve, which
is the most powerful form of influence. In any case, once the decision is made, an understanding
of the Johari Window can help a leader identify areas for personal development.
Developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham there are two key applications of this model,
particularly for leaders:
1. That individuals can build trust with their teams by disclosing information about
themselves
2. That they can learn about themselves and come to terms with personal issues with the help
of feedback from others.
6 Boje, David M. “Johari Window and the Psychodynamics of Leadership and Influence in Intergroup Life.”
Date unknown. 14 Jan. 2009 <http://cbae.nmsu.edu/~dboje/503/johari_window.htm>
30

Figure 4
Source: Mind Tools. http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/JohariWindow.htm
There are four quadrants in the Johari Window (Figure 4). They are:
Quadrant #1: Open Area
What is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others.
Quadrant 2: Blind Area, or "Blind Spot"
What is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know. This can be simple
information, or can involve deep issues (for example, feelings of inadequacy, incompetence,
unworthiness, rejection) which are difficult for individuals to face directly, and yet can be seen by
others.
Quadrant 3: Hidden or Avoided Area
What the person knows about him/herself that others do not.
Quadrant 4: Unknown Area
What is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others.
Using the Johari Window
Most of us can readily see others for who they are, more easily than we can see ourselves. We
each have a “blind spot” that conceals information about ourselves. In order to more positively
influence others we must be able to see what others see and perceive us to be. It is often this blind
spot that affects our ability to influence others. We can know our own intentions, but often these
are perceived differently by others and it is their perceptions that determine the effectiveness of
31

our leadership potential. Remember, a leader is only as effective as their followers are willing to
follow.
A
C
Figure 5
B
Step 1. Reducing Our Blind Spot.
The process of enlarging the open quadrant horizontally is one of feedback (Figure 5, see “A”).
Here the individual learns things about him- or her-self that others can see, but he or she can’t.
This also represents the value of gaining feedback from others, particularly those that we are
attempting to lead and influence. Feedback is probably one of the most powerful tools we can use
to learn about ourselves. We may have the greatest intentions, but if others do not perceive or
understand our intentions they may be lost.
Gathering feedback is an art in itself. In its simplest form it would consist of asking others their
opinions about ourselves. Unfortunately this is complicated by the perceptions and fears of others,
questioning the intention of this uncommon request to provide their boss with feedback.
Secondly, most people have developed skepticism in stating their feelings or opinions openly to
others and particularly to their superiors. The fear of reprisal is one of their primary concerns.
Most everyone has a horror story where they were threatened to some degree for speaking out.
In order to overcome this, a leader must first ask themselves whether they are truly willing to hear
what others have to say, realizing there is a good chance that we may not hear what we want to
hear. If our reaction is perceived as being defensive then this would only confirm the fear of those
32

giving the feedback. Gaining feedback requires an open mind and a willingness to listen to what
others have to say without reacting.
A personal example that demonstrates this is with my first formal supervisory position I held. I led
a group of seven facilitators who were responsible for delivering our company’s quality
workshops. I was excited at the opportunity to manage. Initially everything appeared to be going
well. Approximately 6 months into my new position my boss called me into his office and
expressed concern that a couple of the facilitators who were working for me spoke to him about
my tendency to exert what they claimed to be excessive control and power in our group meetings.
My first response to his statement was, “what is wrong with them.” Rather than accept the pain
and hurt that would have resulted in accepting this claim, I attempted to discredit it. This was a
defensive reaction in an effort to save face. Coincidently, I was reading Dennis Waitley’s book,
Being Your Best7 which made me reconsider my belief that it was their problem. The facilitators
were actually seeing something about me that I did not know or wanted to know. What I knew
about myself was that I was doing what I thought to be best. This however did not consider the
perceptions of others which in this case led them to believe that I was not interested in their
opinions. Later, during the process of my own self-discovery, I realized that I was blind to my
need for control and the effect that this had on others.
If I wanted to successfully gain my team’s buy-in and respect in me, I would have to change my
style towards promoting other’s involvement. The more an individual feels a part of an activity or
function, the more apt they are to perform at higher levels because they feel a sense of ownership
and pride. This would allow the others to input their opinions first which ironically was very
similar to what I was originally thinking. The difference however was that they now felt a part of
the decision versus being told what to do. In addition, I quickly learned that in most cases their
ideas, combined with using the brainstorming technique, resulted in better ideas than I would have
come up with.
How did I gather feedback from my team? At the suggestion of an Organizational Development
(O.D.) consultant, they suggested using one of the many assessment tools that are targeted to
soliciting feedback from others. I utilized a tool known to as the Life Styles Inventory, developed
by Human Synergistics.
7
Waitley, Dennis Being Your Best
33

The LSI helps individuals to strengthen thinking and behavioral styles that promote their
effectiveness and moderate styles that prevent them from realizing their potential. The LSI
provides invaluable and otherwise unavailable information that can motivate, guide and track the
progress of self-development initiatives. Most frequently used for:
• Promoting self-understanding and guiding self-development
• Improving capabilities as a team member or individual contributor
• Providing feedback for stress management programs
8
• Strengthening organizations by enhancing individual effectiveness
The LSI included a self-assessment where I responded to a series of questions about how I
perceived myself. It also involved asking my team members to each take the same assessment,
responding to the same questions regarding how they perceived me. Seeking the guidance of the
O.D. consultant, I learned that how I requested the feedback from my team would significantly
impact the results I would receive. Based on the earlier comments, others are typically fearful of
providing feedback, even in an anonymous manner, for fear of some form of repercussion.
Understanding this tendency to resist providing feedback meant that I had to answer some
difficult questions others would typically have, “Why should I provide you with feedback?” and
“Can I trust you?” This would take some thought up front and planning prior to rolling this out.
The steps I took included the following:
Answering the question, “what is the purpose of asking for this feedback?”
To address this question, it was important to be open and honest to the team. This meant that I
had to inform them that I was aware that there were some concerns regarding my leadership
style, and that I was interested in better understanding these so that I could make some
changes.
Understanding the process
To maximize the effectiveness of the assessment the following steps were needed. This only
covers an overview of key considerations. You may want to first learn more about taking
assessments and working with your feedback.
8 Human Synergistics, “Life Styles Inventory™”. 15 Jan. 2009, <
http://www.humansynergistics.com/products/lsi.aspx>
34

Identify the right assessment tool
As we mentioned previously, there are many assessment tools available. The key is
understanding the personality characteristics being assessed and how useful this data would be
to you. Tapping into professionals on this topic and/or researching it on the Internet is
strongly recommended.
Preparing others for providing you with feedback
With only a few months together as a team, and that it takes time to build trust, it was
important to speak openly about this with the team. If they did not perceive my intentions as
true to my word, than it would not matter what method I used to solicit feedback. In this case
it would not be the words I shared, but how I shared these words, and whether they perceived
this as being genuine or not. The answer to this lies in your own intention. If you indeed are
genuine and demonstrate this in your discussions, you are more apt to gain their respect and
willingness. However, if you are not really sure what you are getting into, and ill prepared to
deal with their feedback, than the best suggestion is to not ask for feedback to begin with.
Another key point is addressing with your team how you plan to use this feedback. It is
strongly suggested that you share the results with your team. Many assessments provide you
with a visual graph or chart of the results. This provides you with a nice way to share the
overall results without having to share all of the detail. If the assessment provides the
opportunity to type in comments, you may choose to share this detail, but often it may be
inappropriate since there is a tendency to identify who said what. Comments provide the detail
to the data and are very useful. One option is to group the comments together into common
themes and share these themes in lieu of the detail.
Conducting the assessment
More assessments today are available on-line making it easy to send links to those completing
the assessment and automating the tabulation of the results. Others may be paper based. In the
case it is paper based, it is recommended that you have participants hand in their completed
assessments to an unbiased third party. This helps to maintain the anonymity of the process. It
is important that you set a realistic timeframe and follow-up with everyone to make sure it is
completed on time.
Reviewing the results
The results in my case were compiled anonymously and presented in two separate graphs.
One showed my own responses and the other a composite of the other’s responses. It
presented an excellent opportunity to investigate my blind spots.
35

The results were profound. With an open mind I realized that there were several aspects of my
personality and behaviors that we both agreed upon, and there were other areas that others
perceived me in a very different light. The whole experience gave me a chance to reflect upon
these differences and why they may exist. I followed up the whole experience with my work
group by stating my appreciation for their willingness to participate. I also stated that I would
be willing to share the results with anyone who was interested.
Listed below are some basic guidelines to consider when reviewing your feedback report.
Find a private and comfortable place
Go through the entire report first
Be aware of the tendency to focus on the “negatives”. Gain a general understanding of
all the information including both strengths and development areas
Read the narrative comments
Consider these questions:
Is there a lot of variation in the data?
How do others perceive me overall?
What are they saying?
Is the feedback similar to what I have heard from others in the past?
Where do others perceive me differently than I perceive myself?
Understand the “SARA” response to feedback:
S = Surprise
A = Anger
R = Rationalization
A = Acceptance
Creating An Action Plan (Personal Development Plan)
Knowledge is useless unless it is applied. For those who learn about continuous improvement in
business, they are often exposed to Edward Deming’s PDCA Wheel (Figure 6).
“A fundamental principle of the scientific method and PDCA, is iteration - once an
hypothesis is confirmed (or negated), executing the cycle again will extend the knowledge
further. Repeating the PDCA cycle can bring us closer to the goal, usually a perfect operation
and output.” 9
9 Wikipedia, “PDCA”. 15 Jan. 2009, < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PDCA>
36

Figure 6
Relating this to Personal Growth, you would first create a personal development PLAN. This
would list those competencies that you would like to change or improve. For each competency,
you would need to identify action items or steps to achieve this goal. Goals should use the
SMART format.
S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = Actionable
R = Realistic
T = Time/Date Specific
Once your plan is completed, you must implement or DO your action plan. At regular intervals,
you will want to CHECK your progress to determine if your action plan is resulting in
accomplishing your goals. You may decide to repeat the assessment with your team 6 months or a
year later, along with obtaining informal feedback from your team. Based on this feedback you
must then ACT to identify any gaps that remain along with ways to continually improve in these
areas which will result in establishing new goals and repeating the cycle.
In addition to being open to opportunities that develop, it is also important to identify steps that
we can take to prepare and ready ourselves. This is where I suggest the concept of a personal
development plan. This type of tool is widely used in business where employees are required to
establish a plan to further develop their skills in order to make them more effective in their current
job and/or identifying a possible career plan to prepare them for future roles. The following
provides an overview of the personal development plan.
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What is a Personal Development Plan (PDP)?
A PDP is an action plan specifically referring to your aspirations regarding personal development.
For many of us we spend more time planning for our vacation than we do for our job, our career,
our relationships, etc. A PDP provides you with a means to identify specific tasks to meet your
development targets in specific areas. It basically helps to develop a plan that will move you from
a current state (where am I now?) to a desired future state (where do I want to be?). Through the
activities suggested in earlier sections, your impetus for this will come from; 1) the feedback you
obtained from others that helped you to compare the perception of others to your own perception
of self, 2) your new awareness of self from self-discovery efforts, and 3) pursuing new avenues
based on your defined values, beliefs, purpose and vision.
Listed here are some additional questions you may want to consider:
1. What is my ultimate goal for personal development?
2. What areas do I need development in to achieve this purpose?
3. What do I like to do? What don’t I like to do?
4. What options exist regarding pursuing my purpose?
5. What are my strengths? What am I good at?
6. What do others see as my development areas?
7. How much time as I willing to commit to my personal development?
8. What obstacles may hinder my ability to meet my personal development goals?
9. Do I have the necessary resources to obtain the training, etc. to meet these goals? What
options exist? Are their ways to creatively develop these skills?
10. How will I measure my success?
11. Will this require lifestyle changes
12. Who will support me? What type of support will I need?
What is the benefit of a PDP?
As the saying goes, “fail to plan, plan to fail.” As the name implies a PDP is a plan that focuses on
the action items you identify that will help you to achieve your personal development goals and
vision. Most of us need structure and a way that can help to hold us accountable. To be effective,
ample planning must go into developing your plan along with reviewing it at regular intervals to
ensure that it is always accurate, relevant and realistic.
What goes into a PDP?
Since we are dealing with modifying our behaviors, a PDP focuses on identifying new
competencies that we want to develop. To become proficient in a new competency, we need to
acquire both knowledge and skill. Knowledge pertains to what we need to know. For example,
making a choice to give back to the community I decided to become a volunteer EMT. This
38

required that I learn about how to volunteer, what training I needed, what the requirements were,
etc. From this knowledge I identified the skills I needed to develop. In this case I had to attend a
training program for new EMT’s and complete all of the certification requirements. This taught
me how to respond to emergencies, the ABC’s of being an EMT, driving an ambulance, etc.
Another example relates to improving your effectiveness as a leader. You may have obtained
feedback that your employees want more feedback regarding how well they are doing and how
they can improve. You may initially attend a course, read a book and talk with others to learn
more about techniques for providing effective feedback which gives you the knowledge you need.
Then you must develop the skill by doing it. You have to begin practicing new behaviors
becoming more proficient.
Your plan should include short, medium and long term goals. Personal development takes time
and it needs to be accomplished in “chunks.” Setting up unrealistic expectations will only serve to
overwhelm you and set yourself up for failure. It is here that my learnings in business have helped
me with my own expectations. The concept of “continuous improvement” suggests that we never
stop improving, and that the most effective improvements are made one small step at a time.
Step 2. Self-Disclosure
Sharing what I learned risked being vulnerable. However, sharing this information with my
work group oddly enough brought us closer together and I had gained more respect and credibility
than I ever had with them. It also inspired a few of them to do the same. It was like a domino
effect that began to eliminate the facades that many of us were wearing. We became closer and
were able to become more like friends working together towards a common purpose in a more
effective and efficient manner. Performance levels improved because each individual felt
ownership in the process. We talked about our problems we each had rather than attempting to
hide them.
The process of enlarging the Open Area quadrant vertically uses self-disclosure, a give and take
process between the person and the people he/she interacts with (Figure 5, see “B”).
By conducting the assessment and sharing the results with your team that was reviewed in Step 1,
you have already started the process of self-disclosure.
There is great power in sharing, particularly when it is genuine and from the heart. As a leader
this allows others to get to know and respect you. Trust develops as a result, and forms a greater
connection between leaders and their followers. Followers are generally more likely to want to
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follow you and willing to go the extra yard. Openness helps to develop trust, and sharing creates
respect, two of the most powerful characteristics an effective leader can establish.
When others see you as human, and understand your strengths and development areas, they are
inspired to do the same. Maybe the greatest power comes from role modeling a behavior that
others are more likely to demonstrate themselves. One of the characteristics of a high performance
team is the degree of trust each has in each other. Along with high levels of trust is a greater
awareness of each other’s strengths and development areas. A synergy develops where one’s
strength compensates for another’s development area. The catalyst in most cases was a leader who
role modeled these behaviors and learned the process of developing a group of individuals into a
high performance team (I would suggest learning about Bruce Tuckman’s “Stages of Team
Development”).
Once again there are tools that you can use to enhance both you and your team’s self-disclosure.
One of my favorite is the DISC Personality Assessment.
“DISC is the four quadrant behavioral model based on the work of William Moulton Marston
Ph.D. (1893 - 1947) to examine the behavior of individuals in their environment or within a
specific situation. DISC looks at behavioral styles and behavioral preferences. The
assessments classify four aspects of behavior by testing a person's preferences in word
associations. DISC is an acronym for:
• Dominance - relating to control, power and assertiveness
• Influence - relating to social situations and communication
• Steadiness - relating to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness
• Conscientiousness - relating to structure and organization” 10
When the DISC Assessment tool is used for team development, all members of the team take their
own individual assessment. They will each receive their own individual report along with a lot of
commentary to help them understand the meaning of their assessment and the impact of their style
on others. A team report can be obtained that plots where all members are on the DISC
dimension. From this the team considers the implications of this along with identifying ways and
norms to improve both an understanding of each other and their needs, but also what they have to
consider when working with their team members.
10 Wikipedia, “DISC Assessment” 16 Jan. 2009, <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DISC_assessment>
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The review of the data and considering the implications improves the ability of the team to share
with one another. There are a number of assessment tools similar to DISC in that they identify
tendencies and dominant personality characteristics. Simply typing in “personality assessments” in
your favorite search engine will reveal a wide variety of assessments available. These are also
used for the 3rd dimension of the Johari Window, self-discovery.
One additional note on sharing. In Discovering Michael I share my personal experience with
respect to personal growth and development. The use of counseling and support groups provided
me with a powerful means of self-discovery as I opened up and shared with others in a safe
setting. Sharing takes courage, particularly when we are dealing with deeper rooted and emotional
issues. Even within business, the use of mentors and coaches can be incredibly valuable if
considered safe and effective. Once we realize that we are all human, which means in part that we
are not perfect and that we all need help at times. What we will find is that the resources are near
endless to support virtually anyone with any issue.
Step 3. Self-Discovery
The process of learning new aspects of self uses self-discovery, understanding reasons you are
who you are, along with becoming who you want to be (Figure 5, see “C”).
The last paragraph from the previous step is a great lead in to a discussion on self-discovery.
Probably the most powerful step, self-discovery takes a look at the very core of our existence. The
questions are more profound and challenging to answer. Elements of our subconscious are now
brought to the surface where we begin to understand our core beliefs and issues. This step is not
for the faint-hearted but for those who heed to “The Call”.
Self-Discovery grows our awareness and understanding of ourselves by venturing into the
unknown area of the Johari Window. This refers to aspects that both others and ourselves are
unaware of. So what would prompt someone to take this step? For some their natural curiosity
about life, its purpose and how they fit in is enough to push them into the unknown. To some
degree, we all ponder these questions, but quickly allow them to drift to the back of our minds.
For most, it takes a traumatic event, powerful enough that it overrides our desire to remain in
denial or unaware. These are referred to as “Wake-Up Calls.”
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Examples of wake up call include the following:
Obvious Not So Obvious
Death Success
Divorce Plateauing
Retirement Appearance
Move Burnout
Job Loss Business Adjustment
Children
Marriage
There are also natural times in our life where we are more prone to ask ourselves profound
questions regarding the direction and meaning of our life.
AGE MAJOR REASON FOR REFLECTION
18-21 On Our Own
28-33 Taking Responsibility. Death of parents
Mid-40'S Mid-Life Crisis
55-65 Retirement
70's + The Home Stretch. Death
Anytime Wake-Up Calls
Whatever the cause of our wake-up call, the result becomes a need to understand and find answers
to the questions we are no longer able to squelch. It requires venturing into the unknown which
prompts fear. The journey that results is often painful, because what lies in our subconscious is
the truth about why we do what we do. But the outcome is typically unprecedented levels of
awareness that proved the ability to see life, the world, and how you fit into this new world. The
greatest gift is that you are now able to influence and lead others more effectively, because of the
understanding you now have of yourself, and others. You are probably more aware now of your
gifts and strengths, seeking to find new roles where these can be used. You are also more
intimately acquainted with your development areas, their cause and effect, and what you need to
do to cope and overcome these issues. You become a leader!
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I was unaware at the time that I obtained feedback from my boss regarding my first supervisory
role that this would eventually lead to a major wake-up call for me. It was one of the results from
the LSI assessment that hit me like a ton of bricks. There was a section where you could find a
chart that most resembled my own in order to obtain some overall feedback. I found a virtual
match, but the title of the chart was hidden. The point in my life that ignorance was bliss, was
about to be shattered. As I revealed the title of the chart it read, “Heart Attack Victim”.
Despite efforts to laugh this off, too many restless nights kept this front and center. I went to my
boss and shared my discovery. By this time I was comfortable sharing with others, which
developed high levels of trust between me and my boss and team. He referred me once again to
our Organizational Development specialist. Her recommendation was to attend a “T-group”
session at National Training Laboratories (NTL). The details of this journey can be read in my
book, Discovering Michael.
Self-discovery often involves a look at our past and understanding the impact that this may have
had on our attitude, beliefs, behaviors and consequences. The whole concept of dysfunctional
family helps us to understand that what we learned and experienced in our formative years, our
childhood, helped to shape who we are today. This is best captured in the following:
Children Learn What They Live
If a Child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a Child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a Child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a Child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a Child lives with Tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a Child lives with Encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a Child lives with Praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a Child lives with Fairness, he learns justice.
If a Child lives with Security, he learns to have faith.
If a Child lives with Approval, he learns to like himself.
If a Child lives with Acceptance and Friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Reviewing our past is a very challenging concept for most. It is possible to have remained in
the state of denial about those aspects of our past that relate to pain. We have become masters
at hiding ourselves from the truth. We may no longer even know what the truth really was.
This is why it is helpful to find someone who can help us with this step. What we can
recognize are the negative and positive consequences in our life.
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The first step is to identify those negative consequences that you no longer desire. Capture
these in a journal. Secondly, as best you can, reflect back upon your own childhood and
capture the feelings and reactions you experience. If there is a great deal of pain, know that
you are not alone and stop the reflection process until you can find an appropriate setting to
continue.
It is my contention that everyone can benefit from a dose of counseling. Most of us do not
have someone in our life that can provide us with the role of an unbiased and educated listener.
We listen to what we want to hear, and it is only when we open ourselves to other’s
perspectives that we can grow and learn.
How open are you to the idea of listening to other’s opinions and perspectives even if they
directly challenge us? Upon truthfully answering this will determine whether you are a
candidate for counseling. If the answer is yes, consider the idea. Remember, you can always
reject all or part of what you may find out. The role of an effective counselor is to ask the right
questions while spending most of their time listening, observing, reflecting what they heard,
and continuing to probe. If we are unable to deal with this thought than it is a good indication
that we are hiding or protecting ourselves from something.
An effective leader must be able to challenge themselves first. It is through this process of
identifying what holds us back from becoming our full potential that we must learn ourselves
first so that we can become the teachers and counselors for those we desire to motivate and
fulfill whatever we are in charge of fulfilling. You will become for many the parents they may
have never had, by learning how to effectively parent yourself. Learning how to develop a
healthy self-esteem is mandatory.
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The ABC Model
How does one take a closer look at their subconscious? A simple yet powerful model can be used,
referred to as “The ABC Model.”
Figure 7
An oversimplified model that can be used to identify development areas is known as the ABC
model shown in Figure 7.
This model suggests that a positive or negative consequence we experience in our life (e.g.,
continual financial problems), is best understood by first identifying the individual’s behaviors
leading to this consequence (e.g., individual is lazy, complacent, unwilling to take a risk, etc.). In
order to understand why people behave as they do, one must go a step further into their
unconscious psyche to discover their attitudes and beliefs that drive these behaviors (e.g., “I am
not worthy of having money,” “I do not deserve to be successful,” or “I am a victim of
circumstances”). Furthermore, the model states that our consequences continue to reinforce our
attitudes and beliefs creating a vicious cycle resulting in repeating these behaviors and outcomes,
creating an “unhealthy pattern”.
My first experience with this concept was in counseling. My therapist began asking questions
regarding why I was there. What she was attempting to identify were the negative consequences I
was experiencing in my life. Once this was clear (which can take several sessions), the
questioning focused on understanding the specific behaviors. These can be challenging to identify
because we are more likely to see ourselves as a victim for our negative consequence(s), and
blaming this outcome on others. These steps are often difficult to complete on our own for this
reason. We may need the guidance of a trained professional who can help us to realize what we
are doing that is leading to these consequences. Once we acknowledge our behaviors and make
the link, the next step is to peel away remaining layers until we begin to understand our
underlying beliefs.
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The most powerful link comes when we are able to associate our beliefs with our behaviors thus
completing the cycle. Once again we need assistance from professionals who have an
understanding of behavioral psychology. What we discover is that we create patterns in our life,
based on how we view ourselves, others and life around us. These often originate as a result of
experiences we went through in our past, particularly in our formative years as a child, where a
negative attitude or belief about who we are is formed. These beliefs directly impact our self-
esteem, self-image and self-confidence. Our negative consequences therefore are a result of the
fact that we do not think positive about who we are, and therefore behave in a way that supports
these beliefs. Whether we take it out in self-destructive patterns or by treating others negatively,
we form a destructive pattern which will often repeat itself throughout our existence until we
choose to confront the enemy within.
An effective leader makes this choice and identifies the skeletons in their closet and finds ways to
change these behaviors and ultimately their beliefs. The most powerful element of self-discovery
is that we can make positive changes. This is accomplished by reprogramming our subconscious.
In this way we are like a computer program, once we change the code, we can change the
outcome. There are many tools one can use to change their attitudes and beliefs. One of my
favorites is the use of affirmations. These are a positive statement that we repeat to ourselves until
we begin to believe what we say is true.
When a leader understands these basic elements of personal growth and development, not only do
they improve their overall effectiveness, but they are then able to help others more effectively as
well. For example, an employee that continues to experience disciplinary actions is confronted by
these consequences. An effective leader would identify the observed behaviors that are resulting
in these consequences (e.g. poor attendance, poor workmanship, talking with others) and share
these with the employee (providing feedback). Attempting to influence the employee to turn
around and become productive, the leader would use the skill of coaching and this model to help
the employee discover why they are behaving in this way. By asking the employee to explain their
behaviors, while patiently listening, can provide clues to their underlying attitudes and beliefs. So
often, there are causes that the employee may not be able to see at first, as you help them discover
their Unknown Area.
Once we realize that we can change, and experience this firsthand, our attitude shifts based on this
belief. We begin to believe more in people and see them as human beings all struggling with
various issues and challenges. We may relate to some of their challenges and less with others,
however, we know that whatever the issue or cause, that they can turn their life around. One of
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the most difficult learnings however is that we can only influence and help support them to
change, but they have to make this choice. Our ability to influence is increased since we better
appreciate others and share our own triumphs providing motivation for others.
The power of creating an environment conducive to personal growth can have the greatest
rewards to an effective leader. When one is willing to place greater emphasis on others growing
and becoming their full potential rather than pursuing only their own objectives, the reward will
come from those who become eternally thankful for your guidance and support. This sense of
fulfillment can rarely be duplicated by any other type of achievement. All of our personal
struggles seem worthwhile in that we have helped another. I hope that you experience this feeling.
Summary
Personal growth introduces the concept of personal responsibility in our lives. No longer can we
blame others for our situations or problems. We are in charge and in control of our attitudes,
which brings with it responsibility. Once we accept this responsibility we can learn how to apply
it in ways that will make a positive influence on others. We become a teacher, facilitator, friend,
for those around us. Although others may not want to take advantage of these gifts we bear, we
regretfully accept this and focus on those who appreciate these gifts.
Personal growth and development is the growth of awareness, development of our self-esteem,
and taking responsibility portions of the foundation an effective leader builds. With awareness we
become more intimately acquainted with ourselves and how we influence others. We gain self-
confidence and self-respect while developing our self-esteem. We recognize those aspects of
ourselves that give us our greatest strengths and abilities, along with those that interfere with our
becoming our full potential. We gain courage by making difficult choices and learning how to
take responsibility for ourselves.
An effective leader commits themselves to continual personal growth and development. Personal
growth and development is an ongoing process. How do we know when this process is
completed? The answer I have come to accept is that my personal journey and quest to know
myself does not end. At least for this life, it will end when I take my last breath.
The ability to take risks and accept change comes from the courage we develop in making
changes in our own lives. Whatever pain we may have uncovered becomes an obstacle to be
overcome versus a hurdle too big to leap over. Our optimism comes from proving to ourselves
that change is possible, using ourselves as the example and role model to others as well. We
become natural leaders based on the choices we have made and awareness we have gained,
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because of the aspirations others have, consciously or unconsciously, for taking these steps in
their own lives.
Character is built whenever we make choices that are contrary to the mainstream. We may find
ourselves all alone and feeling the loneliness and despair that we may feel at these times. Instead
of running back to our security blankets, we survive and become better people. We become more
effective in whatever we choose to do. We develop new values and beliefs about ourselves and
life around us and find a niche to make a difference. This is what effective leadership is all about.
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Beliefs & Values
Personal growth and development helps to develop or self-esteem, self-image and self-confidence.
During this stage we were able to identify personal beliefs & behaviors that resulted in negative
consequences to ourselves and/or others. New beliefs were developed improving our self-esteem
and consequences. Now that we feel better about the person we see in the mirror, the next step is
to develop a set of beliefs and values that clearly identify what we stand for, how we view the
world and people around us, what we consider most important, and what we care deeply about.
These become the driving force for our personal vision, so that what we set out to do is consistent
with who we are and what we believe in and value.
“What do you hold to be true? Why did you choose these beliefs? Do you act according to those
beliefs? Perhaps you believe particular widely-held values that provide an excellent standard for
judging right and wrong, good and bad, important from trivial. Perhaps you have other values and
believe something else. Knowing yourself requires a careful examination of your own values and
beliefs. What are they? How did they originate? What are they based on? Why do you hold these
beliefs? Are they based on reliable evidence? Are your goals and actions consistent with your
beliefs? How do your beliefs align with your values? How have they evolved over your lifetime?
How do they help you live a gratifying life?” 11
These are the types of questions we need to consider as we define our set of beliefs and values. In
effect we need to determine if they are truly our own as we consider what may have influenced
11 Beaumont, Leland R. “Beliefs, What We Accept As True”. EmotionalCompetence.com, 18 Jan. 2009,
<http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/belief.htm>
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them. For years I defined success as getting a good education, working for a big company and
settling down. I was at a point in my life where I was living up to this definition. I had obtained a
MBA degree, was working for a Fortune 500 company, and recently married and beginning to
talk about raising a family. I was working on a project with a wonderful consultant. He was very
personable, intelligent and caring. We went out for dinner one evening where he asked me a lot
about my life in general. At one point he stunned me when he asked what appeared to be a very
simple question. “Are you happy?” he asked. I paused in what seemed an eternity, I began to
stutter. The façade of a supposed confident and successful businessman that I thought I was gave
way to tears as I responded, “What do you mean?” He followed up with another question, “What
do you want to do with your life?” Once again I was stopped in my tracks and speechless. I had
no idea! These questions plagued me until I realized that I had no idea what happiness really
meant to me, or what I wanted to do with my life. No one had ever asked me this before. What is
happiness anyway? I was doing what I believed I should be doing with my life, why was I
struggling with these questions?
Few of us ever take the time to answer some of these questions. The very nature of these
questions requires that we have taken the time to understand who and what we are, including a
clear definition of our beliefs and values. Before we continue, here is the way I defined beliefs
and values. The following definitions are provided by Vadim Kotelnikov 12
Beliefs: the assumptions we make about ourselves, about others in the world and about how we
expect things to be. Beliefs are about how we think things really are, what we think is really true
and what therefore expect as likely consequences that will follow from our behavior.
Values: are about how we have learned to think things ought to be or people ought to behave,
especially in terms of qualities such as honesty, integrity and openness
The clearer you are about what you value and believe in, the happier and more effective you will
be.
These two words are often used interchangeably. In a recent article, this difference was described
as;
“Beliefs are the product of your conscious mind…Beliefs can be changed whereas values can’t be
changed…Belief driven leadership always creat4es room for ambiguity whereas value governed
12 Kotelnikov, Vadim. "What you believe about yourself is what happens to you." 1000venures.com, 18 Jan.
2009. <http://www.1000ventures.com/business_guide/crosscuttings/character_beliefs-values.html>
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leadership is more straightforward. Values governed leadership would alter the culture and ensure
value congruence between organizations and individuals” 13
Based on this discussion, values are our deepest convictions. Changes in values would require a
change in our beliefs. So how do we determine what our values are, or more importantly what we
want them to be? While working with groups I recommend the following exercise as a first step.
The highlights of this exercise are as follows. Note: it is strongly suggested that only facilitators
trained in organizational dynamics or psychology lead this exercise.
“Who Am I” Exercise:
Part 1
Partner up with someone – preferably someone that you do not know.
Begin with Partner 1 asking your Partner 2 the following; “Person’s Name, who are you?”
(e.g. Michael, who are you?). Partner 1 does not help or attempt to answer for them. Their
role is to simply ask the question and then write down each response on a separate Post-It
note. Part of the value of this exercise comes from the struggle. I sometimes share a few
sample responses to prime the pump since some individuals have a difficult time thinking
about how to respond. Examples include: “I am a manager”, “I am happy”, “I am a
Christian”. However, I state that there is no right or wrong answer and that these are only
examples.
Repeat 10 times
Partner 1 continues to ask Partner 2 the same question, writing down each response on a
separate Post-It Note and repeats until they have 10 responses.
Switch and repeat for partner.
Partner 2 now asks Partner 1 the same question, soliciting 10 responses.
Provide partner with their responses
Debrief:
How was this exercise for you? Typical response is very difficult and that participants
have never considered this question before.
Key Point – how we identify ourselves is important for each of us to know. First we must
13 Scribd. “Belief directed to Value driven Leadership” 18 Jan. 2009,
<http://www.scribd.com/doc/8652669/belief-directed-to-value-governed-leadership>
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realize that we may share parts of our identity in common with others, while also having
very different responses. There is no right or wrong response.
Part 2
With your own responses (10 Post It notes), place them in sequential order from 1 to 10.
1 = most important to you while 10 = least important compared to the other responses
You must put them in sequential order
Provide 15-20 minutes, more time if needed, to complete
Typically the room will be totally silent. Outside of a few wise cracks, participants are
very introspective. There may be questions regarding why they have to be in order and if
there can be “ties”. Repeat the instructions and let them know that the value of this
exercise in part comes from the struggle of this task.
Have participants write down their responses on a separate paper. This will be useful for a
later activity.
Debrief
What was this exercise like? Realize that you may not receive many responses. This is
very difficult for most and very personal. Be sure to emphasize that sharing is voluntary.
Usually a few will emphasize the difficulty they had in prioritizing them. They struggled
with placing one thing as a priority over another, stating that “many are equally
important”.
Key Point – I emphasize that throughout life we are often required to make decisions and
choices that force us to re-examine what we truly value. Our values often help us to
choose one choice over another. An example is used for this. If your boss was being
robbed and the gunman was about to shoot your boss, and your only choices were
jumping in front of your boss to take the bullet, or to run, what would you do? Chances
are you would hear a lot of laughter along with the choice that “I would run.” However,
what if your job was a Secret Service agent for the President of the United States. In their
case, you would hear a unanimous, “take the bullet for the President”. Why is this? This is
an example where two people valued different things, and therefore behaved differently.
Another example is used to review the prioritization of our responses. Let’s say that you
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placed a response related to your career (e.g. I am an executive) as a higher priority than a
response related to your family (e.g. I am a Father). An opportunity came up to take a new
position offering greater career growth and would require relocating. You currently lived
close to your extended family. Realizing that the individual placed a higher priority on
their career, they may be more prone to relocate and take the new position. However, if
the responses were reversed, you may have given up the career opportunity for sake of
staying close to your family. Granted there is always more to decisions like these,
however, it emphasizes that we values that are more important to us than others often play
a major role in making our choices.
Part 3
I state that there is one final activity related to this exercise and that this may be even more
challenging than the previous activities.
I ask each participant to pick up their # 10 response (lowest priority compared to the
others) and hold it in their hands while I state the following:
“As you look at this response, you are looking at a part of your identity or something that
you value. Consider what being this role means to you. Think about the joy or sorrow that
it may bring to you. Think about how much you value or don’t value this role. Now I
would like each of you to think about what it would mean if you no longer had this role,
this part of your identify. Take this paper now and crumple it up as you lost this part of
yourself, and throw it away (a trash can has been placed so that they can throw these
papers away). Note: There may be mixed responses at first. For some, losing what they
listed on the lower rated responses may not be perceived as negative (e.g. losing “I am a
caregiver” may actually provide a sense of relief). As we continue with this exercise
however, it will eventually create some inner turmoil.
Continue having participants pick up their responses, one at a time, continuing from the
lowest priority, repeating the same script as above. Stop at response # 3. Note: it is very
likely that participants will become emotional as they consider losing aspects of their
identity that mean a lot to them (e.g. losing “I am a father or mother). Questions such as;
“do I need to throw this away?” may come up as they struggle. By the way, I do not make
them throw them away, I just continue with the exercise. Individuals may drop out of the
exercise, leave the room, become emotional, etc. (a key reason that you only want
someone knowledgeable and experienced facilitating these sessions).
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Key Point – participants are experiencing loss during this exercise, and particularly with
loss of aspects of their life that they hold near and dear. It is this response that indicates to
us that we truly value something.
Debrief
I state that we will stop at response # 3 because we experienced what we needed to
experience without having to feel the loss of what are considered to be our “core values”.
What was the experience like? Once again the room may be silent as individuals are still
reflecting on the loss they experienced. Most responses relate to the difficulty and
emotional element of this exercise, even though we were only throwing away a piece of
paper. It is common to hear, “can I change the order of my responses?” This is a key point
since it is the point of the exercise to identify what we value and to reprioritize them or
add new responses. What we “thought” (with our brains) was important, changed as soon
as we experienced how we “felt” (with our hearts).
Next Steps
I suggest that the participants spend some time reflecting on the session and reviewing
what they wrote down as their responses and write down what they now believe are their
core values. How do you know they are important? When you consider losing aspects of
your life associated with these values, they feel traumatic.
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There are a number of ways that one can identify what they value most. Another method is
reviewing a list of common values and considering which ones have the most meaning for you.
Below is a list of personal values that was pulled together by Roy Posner 14. As you view the list
place a star next to those that initially feel important to you. Cross others off the list that you do
not value. You may want to add other values that are not on the list. Challenge yourself with
listing your top ten.
Once you have your list, write down the reasons you feel these are important to you and why.
Question your rationale. Do you believe this is important because you were taught to value this or
that you value it? List ways that you live these values in your job, your personal life, your
relationships, etc. What are some ways that you would like to live these values? While imagining
yourself living these values, how do you feel, excited, not so excited? And finally, would you give
up your life to live this value?
14 Posner, Roy. “The Power of Personal Values” 19 Jan. 2009.
<http://www.gurusoftware.com/GuruNet/Personal/Topics/Values.htm>
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And what if we are not living our true values? We would experience what is known as the theory
of cognitive dissonance. “Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding
two contradictory ideas simultaneously. The "ideas" or "cognitions" in question may include
attitudes and beliefs, and also the awareness of one's behavior. The theory of cognitive dissonance
proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by changing their attitudes,
beliefs, and behaviors, or by justifying or rationalizing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.”15
Cognitive dissonance works deep in a person’s unconscious, and they may not even be aware
that it exists.16 “In order to help alleviate the discomfort associated with cognitive
dissonance, a person must not only become aware of the problem, but also of its nature and
degree; so that on the conscious level they can take corrective action.”17
Consider the following example. An individual believes that telling the truth is important,
however, when confronted on an issue, they tell a lie. Based on this theory, at some level they will
feel some discomfort as a result of their behavior (telling a lie) being inconsistent with their belief
(to tell the truth). To resolve this discomfort, they can either change their belief to be consistent
with this behavior (e.g. it is okay at times to not tell the truth), or they choose to right the situation
to be consistent with their belief (e.g. reveal the truth and apologize for telling the lie).
The following posting on a leadership blog provides another example. “While admitting our
mistakes may sound simple, our psychological wiring works against us. Cognitive dissonance
explains that our minds actively seek out confirming evidence to support our decisions and self-
image. For most people, this confirmation bias is so strong that we often end up convincing
ourselves of things that sound preposterous to more objective observers. What this means from a
practical standpoint is that since you were the one who made the decision, your employees never
reach your level of commitment. Therefore if the decision was wrong, your employees will almost
always see the folly of your ways before you will. If the gap between when they see it and when
you see it is too long, you will lose their faith and confidence.”18
The key to discovering our values is first becoming more aware of what we believe to be our
values and comparing these against our actual behaviors. Are we walking our talk? If so, than this
15 Wikipedia, “Cognitive Dissonance” 21 Jan 2009. < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance>
16 Chow, P. (2001). The psychometric properties of the cognitive dissonance test. Education, 122, 45-49.
Retrieved March 28, 2002, from Academic Search Elite database.
17 Chow, P., & Wood, W. (2001). Comparing Canadian and United States High School students on cognitive
dissonance test scores. Journal of Instructional Psychology, 28, 137-142. Retrieved March 28, 2002, from
Academic Search Elite database.
18 Dao, Francisco, “Can You Admit You Were Wrong?” 2 Jan. 2008. Leadership Blog. 21 Jan 2009. <
http://blog.inc.com/leadership/2008/01/can_you_admit_you_were_wrong.html>
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suggests that this indeed is a value we live by. If not, then we must accept responsibility for this
incongruence and understand why it exists. If we place enough meaning on this value and can
overcome the tendency to justify the incongruence, then we must make the necessary changes in
our beliefs.
What if we are not living the values we come to identify for ourselves? Through the process of
personal growth and development or consciously examining what our beliefs and values are, we
may discover values that we want. This is very common as individuals reassess their lives and
consider new directions. We develop new values, or become conscious of values we had but that
laid dormant. It was during my early thirties that I began this reassessment. It became apparent
that I really wanted to give something back to the community, to volunteer. As I reflected back on
my life, I recalled many times where I observed situations where individuals were making a
difference by volunteering. I remembered feeling that I too wanted to make a difference, however
these thoughts quickly dissipated as I thought about the upcoming racquetball tournament or
projects at work.
While consciously reassessing my life, an ice storm went through our city leaving many without
electricity. The Red Cross opened a shelter realizing that it would be several days before residents
would have their utilities restored, and that it was too cold for them to stay in their homes. The
feeling once again surfaced. Being more conscious of this cognitive dissonance, I put my coat on
and drove over to the shelter, walked in and asked how I could help. Within minutes I was setting
up cots and welcoming families into the shelter. I was overwhelmed with how good I felt as I set
up my own cot after volunteering several hours. I finally began living my value, and it felt great!
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Summary
Whether it was through the exercises reviewed in this section, or by any other means, that you
discovered or re-discovered your beliefs and values, identifying what these are and integrating
them into your life is not only essential for becoming an effective leader, but also for living a
happy and meaningful life. Typical of most all of the aspects of developing your leadership
foundation, the journey is challenging and difficult. Taking that hard look in the mirror and
maintaining this focus is one of the most difficult tasks we can make. Whether we are twenty or
eighty, it is never too late to make this journey.
With a better understanding now of who and what we are, and what we value and believe in, it is
time to formulate your life’s purpose or vision. The next section will provide some discussion on
this powerful step.
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma
- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's
opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
The true measure of a person is not what they believe in, but their courage
and conviction to stand up for what they believe in.
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Vision & Purpose
“Purpose is that deepest dimension within us – our central core or essence – where we
have a profound sense of who we are, where we came from, and where we’re going.
Purpose is the quality we choose to shape our lives around. Purpose is a source of energy
and direction. Nothing shapes our lives as much as the questions we ask, or refuse to ask,
throughout our lives. Purpose, however, is not a question that we can answer once and be
done with it. We typically bring up the question of purpose about every ten years
throughout our lives. At those times and during major life transitions, we ask questions like:
• Who Am I?
• What Am I Meant To Do Here?
• What Am I Trying To Do With My Life?”19
“A vision statement is a vivid idealized description of a desired outcome that inspires,
energizes and helps you create a mental picture of your target. It could be a vision of a
part of your life, or the outcome of a project or goal.”20
19 Leider, Richard. “The Power of Purpose: Creating Meaning in Your Life and Work” Published by Berrett-
Koehler Publishers
20 Time Thoughts: Resources for Personal and Career success. “Writing a compelling vision statement”. 21 Jan
2009. < http://www.timethoughts.com/goalsetting/vision-statements.htm>
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The words vision and purpose are often used interchangeably as it relates to the defining a
direction for one’s life. For this section I will treat them largely as synonyms. Based on my
own experience I would consider purpose as a targeted focus for something that you want
to accomplish, whereas a vision considers the values that you want to live your life by while
accomplishing your purpose. In this case, a vision for your life would remain the same,
while your purpose may change over time.
Rooted in religious context, the word vision seems to capture the spirit of inspired plans
and actions. A vision is a term used to describe a quest along with the outcome of this
quest. Martin Luther King had such a quest to express the importance of all races being
equal and the end of prejudice. Business entrepreneurs have visions about a particular
product or service they wish to market successfully to customers. Ghandi had a vision about
a country living in harmony. John Lennon wrote a song about his vision in his song,
Imagine. Vision’s can be personal or reflect the direction of a group or organization.
President Kennedy helped to create a vision for NASA’s manned space flight program in
the 1960's which eventually placed a man on the moon and returned him home safely.
These visions reflect a future state and a way of being that leads to a state of excitement
and celebration. It is a representation of an ideal state with respect to whatever idea or
concept we may dream about. It is this vision that captures the essence of who we are and
what we represent. A vision is the source of our motivation to pursue a defined state of
greatness. It gives meaning and direction. Once we are aware of this dream, we find
ourselves at its beck and call. We are lured to this future state, and recognize that we play
a critical role in making the vision come true.
The vision becomes the basis for strategies, planning, decision-making, and action. Without
action a vision remains only a dream. We have all been exposed to words, statements, and
slogans that quickly became fads or fateful attempts to boost productivity and morale. I
found this to be especially true of the quality campaigns I experienced in the corporate
world. Leaders may have educated themselves well on the subject matter and may have
even believed in the material. Nonetheless, the words became empty slogans or just another
pie-in-the-sky or project-of-the-month campaign. The difference was that they did not
personally own or fully believe in the vision. Actions speak louder than words. It is what a
leader does, not just what they say, that influences others towards the vision. It is when the
actions come from the heart of the leader, that the maximum influence can be made.
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Effective leadership comes from the heart and is led by the compassion, caring, and
the loving nature of the leader.
By definition, this desired ideal or vision is always just out of reach. Vision gives what we
do meaning and direction because it will lead to the successful accomplishment of our
purpose. It captures the individual’s or organization’s imagination and mobilizes their
energy. They feel drawn to fulfill this attractive vision because the achievement will make a
valued difference in their life.
Characteristics Of An Effective Vision
The driving force for all decision-making and action
Compatible with your values and personal aspirations
Activates both spirit and ownership
Something that we will take a stand for
Defines what is most important and deeply cared about
Portrays what the ideal state looks like
Captures our mental, emotional, and spiritual sides
Provides an understanding, direction, and meaning
Serves as a principle around that which deeply satisfies
Clarifies our interests and our work
A true vision is one that holds onto us despite our efforts to dismiss its potential or
possibility. Slowly we become convinced of its merit and rise to overcome the fear we
have that holds us back. We become that dream when all of our actions and beliefs support
the pursuit of the vision. These actions become the vehicle by which our dream can become
a reality. Martin Luther King captured the attention of many when he shared his dream and
even died in pursuit of his dream. His efforts are a grand example of the effect and
difference we each can have and the power of pursuing a vision.
We all have dreams, but very few of us ever acknowledge their existence or potential, and
even fewer pursue them. The essence of developing a vision is getting in touch with one’s
dreams. So many people are so quick to dismiss their dreams and yet remain unhappy
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because they are not pursuing them. This is one of the greatest faults that I believe exists. It
is the unwillingness people have to achieve their greatest potential while accepting a state of
discontent, unhappiness and fear. It reminds me of a favorite poem from an anonymous
author:
“There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried
He never sang or prayed
And when one day he passed away
His insurance was denied
For since he never really lived
They claimed he never died”
Once a personal vision is supported by a healthy self-esteem, a belief in oneself and in
a greater source that will help us to achieve our vision (i.e faith), and action consistent
with achieving the vision, an effective leader is born. There are those that believe that
great leaders are born and not made. I believe this is ignoring the greatest capability and
potential that we all have. This is the power to change ourselves, to become who we want to
be, to dream, and to turn these dreams into reality.
So how do we develop our personal vision and purpose?
Consider these questions provided by Susan M. Heathfield to guide your thoughts.21
What are the ten things you most enjoy doing? Be honest. These are the ten things without
which your weeks, months, and years would feel incomplete.
What three things must you do every single day to feel fulfilled in your work?
What are your five-six most important values?
Your life has a number of important facets or dimensions, all of which deserve some
attention in your personal vision statement. Write one important goal for each of them:
physical, spiritual, work or career, family, social relationships, financial security,
mental improvement and attention, and fun.
If you never had to work another day in your life, how would you spend your time instead
of working?
When your life is ending, what will you regret not doing, seeing, or achieving?
21 Heathfield, Susan M. “Create your personal vision statement”. About.com, 21 Jan 2009 <
http://humanresources.about.com/od/success/a/personal_vision.htm>
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What strengths have other people commented on about you and your accomplishments?
What strengths do you see in yourself?
What weaknesses have other people commented on about you and what do you believe
are your weaknesses?
I often use visioning exercises to create an environment more conducive to creating a
vision. Some of the most fun and impactful sessions were those that focused more on
integrating “right-brain” techniques (incorporating creativity, emotions, colors, music, etc)
into the activities. Since visions in effect are our dreams, it is important to create a dream-
like state. Activities used crayons and colored paper, just like we used in grade school, to
create images that were a part of our vision. The goal was to relax the mind and our desire
to think and analyze, so that our emotions and desires could take charge. Visions must have
a strong emotional appeal, because it is emotions such as passion, love, and desire that will
ultimately pull us to our desired state.
On the website referenced above, Susan Heathfield asked individuals to share their personal
visions. One example is as follows:
In my personal vision, I am a person who is willing and able to live my own truth and self-
actualization. I am a singer, music composer, performer, artist, dancer and spiritualist who
seeks to bring together my Divine Gifts in a fulfilling way that suffices both my need for
survival in the world and my need to thrive in the world as my natural self. I want to be
honest with myself about who I really am as opposed to who I've conceded to live as and
have real power within me to make the changes that will reconcile the duplicity in my life,
my work, my accomplishments and the people around me.
Below is a favorite quote of mine that in many ways inspired my own personal vision.
This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty
one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish clod of ailments and grievances
complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice
in life for its own sake. Life is no “brief candle” to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I
have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before
handing it on to future generations.
Shaw’s Man & Superman
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The Power of Purpose or Vision
There are many stories that exemplify the power of pursuing a vision. Steven Jobs and
Steven Wozniak were convinced that personal computers had a place in the world of
computing. Their initial efforts to sell this concept that was developed in their garage,
proved fruitless initially as the major computer companies turned them and their concept
away. Their belief and conviction in their idea led them to one of the most powerful
inventions of our generation - the personal computer, and a very successful organization -
Apple Computer.
There is the story I recall of how Fred Smith developed a new concept in parcel shipping.
His concept was developing a hub system that could economically support the guaranteed
overnight delivery of parcels. Early in its development of Federal Express, the company
was near bankrupt and Mr. Smith was unable to meet his payroll needs. He returned to his
major investors and creditors only to be turned away. While at the airport awaiting his
return home, he saw that there was a flight to Las Vegas and jumped on the plane even
though he had never gambled before. He used the money in his pocket and walked away
with considerable winning to cover his payroll. The rest is history. He believed in his
company, he believed in his vision, enough so to take great personal risk in saving it.
As the Olympics become more competitive and winning is often measured in tenths or
hundredths of a second, competitors are pursuing the use of visioning techniques to gain the
competitive edge. It is common sight to observe a competitor in deep focus prior to their
event. Athletes will race the course or perform their event, covering every detail in their
minds prior to the start of the actual event. This mental preparation can begin months
before. They will envision themselves being victorious and actually experiencing the
feelings associated with this conclusion. These efforts actually program the mind to
succeed.
These techniques have become popular in many fields. Salespeople will prepare themselves
mentally each day for success by envisioning customers signing orders and quotas being
met. Visioning is learning how to develop belief in ourselves and what we do, to achieve
our definition of success. Once we define what success means and believe that we can
achieve this, nothing can hold us back. We may experience temporary setbacks that test and
challenge us. For those that believe and maintain focus in their vision, these challenges
become temporary obstacles and learning experiences. For those that do not believe, the
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setbacks are confirmations to their belief that it could not be achieved or done. Visioning is
programming the mind by creating a positive attitude and belief in oneself.
Learning how to overcome obstacles and rejections are an essential aspect of being an
effective leader. Most people walk away from their first negative response feeling hurt and
rejected. An effective leader feels these same feelings, but does not allow them to get in
their way. They become only setbacks, lessons instead of failure, obstacles to be overcome
versus irreparable damage. Effective leaders find the inner strength to keep on going. They
have a built in “Eveready™ Battery” because they “keep going and going”.
Developing a vision is a challenging experience for most people. First of all many do not
believe that it is possible to achieve a dream, and therefore a dream is something to only get
frustrated about, or to be put off until something external to ourselves gives us permission to
achieve it. This is a fault of our educational system and ineffective parenting. A good parent or
teacher will help their children to define their own dream versus living out the dreams their
parents have for them. The good news is that it is never too late to get in touch with and pursue
our dreams, although generally speaking the older we become the more difficult it does
become.
Secondly, not everyone has an interest in developing vision statements. They are comfortable
with their lives, even if they are discontent. Developing a greater awareness of ourselves is
often a double-edged sword. On one side we learn more about who we are and want to be,
along with what has held us back. This can be exciting and ultimately lead to a more happy
and meaningful life. On the other hand, with awareness comes responsibility. We can no
longer blame others for our choices going forward. We know better. We recognize new
potential and that it is up to us to develop this potential. We may also find that we do not
receive support from those around us. They liked us just the way we were. Change is scary and
has a domino effect on others. It is uncomfortable because it makes them begin to ask
themselves these questions that they do not want to deal with. This is why we must develop
our self-esteem and confidence to be willing to step into uncertainty and new directions.
Third, we operate in a “left-brain” dominant culture. For those who have not studied right-left
brain philosophy, it basically states that there are two distinctly different modes our brain
operates in. On one side is our left-brain that is characterized by being primarily logical and
analytical. The fields of science, engineering, mathematics, computer science, etc. are
primarily left-brain dominant professions. The right brain, however, focuses more on
creativity, emotions, and relationships. The fields of art, human relations, entertainment, etc.
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are good examples of right-brain oriented professions. Most of our educational process focuses
on developing the left side of the brain. Creativity is quickly lost or suppressed in favor of
developing our analytical abilities. Hence concepts such as vision and personal growth are
frowned upon or misunderstood because they are basically right brain activities. There is no
bottom line or way to logically create of a vision. An example would be a left-brain dominant
person listening to the vision, “I Have A Dream.” Their comments would probably be similar
to, “What do you mean by a dream?”, or “Can you give me a breakdown of what you mean?”
They search for the logic and understanding through analytical means and miss the emotional
appeal of the vision.
Finally, we have lost our ability to dream. The pace of our lives has become so hectic that we no
longer take time to simply dream. Our schedules have become so booked that we give ourselves
no free time. Vacations become a hectic activity in themselves versus a period of rest and
relaxation. Most people end up more exhausted from their weekend activities than they were
when they left for the weekend. We have become a society of workaholics attempting to keep our
heads above water and busy ourselves so that we do not remember how unhappy we truly are.
Effective leaders are those who actively dream and then pursue those dreams that represent being
their own full potential. They unbound themselves from those who choose to limit themselves.
These “bounded” people will only attempt to limit those who strive for a greater way of being.
Their negativity comes from their attempt to ignore their own voice deep within that cries out with
their own dreams that have been suppressed and long denied.
Taking Action
Knowledge is useless until it is applied.
Okay, we gifted ourselves with some amazing knowledge and awareness. We have lifted the fog
that has surrounded our vision, and see with greater clarity our purpose. Now what? Take
Action!
During the period of intense focus on my personal growth and
development my early thirties, I began to consider my purpose.
While considering my own vision I created an image that captured a
key element of what I wanted to accomplish with my life. The
image was a boy looking through a chain link fence with great
wonder about what was on the other side. The boy was dreaming of
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adventure, being able to explore what was out there, a thirst for knowing! What is the meaning of
life?
The details of this time in my life were captured in Discovering Michael.
Initially I took a leave of absence from my job. I was in the final stages of grieving my divorce
and preparing myself for a new beginning. It was strange being on my own for the first time in my
life. I received a call from a friend who asked if I wanted to travel to Europe, since tickets for
flights were cheap at the time. It was as if the universe had opened a door, something that began
to formulate my new beliefs that there was indeed a greater power out there, and that if we opened
our eyes and hearts, we could open ourselves to this amazing process called life.
I was excited and scared. Was I ready to jump over the fence and begin my time of exploration?
This represents the opportunities and challenges we experience as we define our vision and
purpose. We must ready ourselves and be willing to take steps towards this vision. It is my belief
that this is the equivalent of being handed a key. But to what door? We must be careful not to
blind ourselves to doors that open because we have too narrowly defined what this vision had to
look like. Allow life to be your teacher, and open your awareness to the opportunities that
develop. Be flexible and willing! Life is so amazingly synchronistic, but we are in control, at the
wheel, holding the keys, regarding our next moves. We in part decide our fate by what we choose
today.
In my case I made the decision to travel to Europe. Although this trip was oriented towards being
a tourist and seeing Europe, along the way I made an important discovery. I learned about hostels
and how this incredible method of travel allowed individuals to travel extensively and on the
cheap. I was so intrigued by these I began to read books on this type of travel, which eventually
opened the door to a period in my life where I traveled many parts of the world, learning about the
different cultures and their people, while volunteering in many capacities along the way. Each
time I would return home where I also spent more time volunteering than in any other capacity. I
wanted to learn more about death, since this was a topic that I realized would teach me more
about life. It was not long before I became a volunteer emergency medical technician, hospice
caregiver and volunteer in a children’s oncology camp.
For each of us, our journey is different, but without a vision and purpose, we are a ship without a
rudder. This is not to say that everyone must have a vision and purpose. I have met many who are
happy and content living their life a day at a time, without any thought about having a purpose.
However, for those who feel the calling, or want to make a difference, these tools are important
and powerful.
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