Workshop 4 relationships 2: Family and Friends

The Ultimate Stress SurvivalThe Ultimate Stress Survival
Guide:Guide:
Relationship Stress 2.Relationship Stress 2.
Family and FriendsFamily and Friends
www.life-without-limits.co

Family StressFamily Stress
“All families and most friends bring with them
emotional baggage from the past.” Dr. Kathleen
Kelley Reardon.
Types of family stress:
Holiday stress.
Sibling rivalry.
Unresolved Family Conflict.
Personality Traits.

Holiday StressHoliday Stress
What is Holiday Stress?
What are the causes Holiday stress?
How do you Minimise Holiday stress?

Sibling Rivalry andSibling Rivalry and
RevertigoRevertigo
Occurs when a parent appears closer to/
more supportive of one particular adult
offspring.
How do we handle Handle Sibling Rivalry?
Revertigo: Regression to parent/sibling
behaviour patterns. Old patterns and
traditional roles: Stressful.
How do we handle Revertigo?
www.life-without-limits.co www.tantraawakenings.org

RevertigoRevertigo
Scenario:
Dave: “That’s the most stupid idea I have ever heard”
Stephanie: “What makes you so clever then?”
Dave: “I’m not a clever clogs but I know when
something is ridiculous.”
Stephanie: “You’re ridiculous.”
Where is the choice point in the scenario?
Is Stephanie responding or reacting?
What could she have said to change the course of the
Conversation?

Unresolved Family ConflictUnresolved Family Conflict
Unresolved Family Conflict.
 Difficult to let go of conflicted family relationships.
 Trust on both sides is compromised.
 If un-resolved will re-occur. Continued Tension and
resentment.
Strategies to handle Unresolved Family Conflict.
 Try to resolve the Conflict.
 Forgive and forget.
 Let go of feelings of resentment and anger BUT be careful of
what you expect in future without actively harbouring
resentment.
 Cut the person out of your life.
 Last resort.

Behaviour TypesBehaviour Types
Aggressive Assertive Passive
What is it?
Standing up for our own
rights by violating others’
rights
What is it?
Communicating in a clear, honest,
candid way which respects our
point of view and that of others.
What is it?
Not able to stand up for your
rights, or doing so in a way that
is not heard
How is it expressed?
Expressing needs,
thoughts/feelings
inappropriately, assuming our
opinions are more important
than others
Expressing needs,
thoughts/feelings appropriately,
while acknowledging the rights of
others. Finding common ground
where conflict arises
Expressing needs,
thoughts/feelings in an
apologetic, cautious, self
damaging way, believing needs
are less important than others’
Characteristics
Arrogance, Attacking,
Contempt, Belittling,
Bullying, Intolerance,
Intimidating
Characteristics
Calm, Composed, Focused,
Sensitive, Clear, Respectful, Win-
Win.
Characteristics
Unsure, Weak, Timid, Long-
winded, Indecisive, Apologetic,
People pleasing.
Handling Passive behaviour.
Handling Aggressive behaviour.

Personality StressPersonality Stress
Common Factors causing stress Associated
with Personality:
Perfectionism.
Type A Personality.
External locus of control (blaming others/events).
Poor Communication.
Unhealthy Behaviours.
Anger.
Rumination and obsessing.
Distorted thinking.

Dealing with DifficultDealing with Difficult
People.People.
Keep conversations Neutral: Avoid divisive issues.
Accept the reality of who they are: Can You change
them? What happens if you try?
Know what’s under your control: Change your
response. Assertive Communication.
Create healthier patterns: Its a 2-way thing.
See the best in people: Try to look for positive
aspects.
Remember who you are dealing with!
Let go or get space!: Minimise or cut ties. Explain
why. www.life-without-limits.co www.tantraawakenings.org

Perfectionism and Type APerfectionism and Type A
PersonalitiesPersonalities
Traits of Perfectionists.
Key Characteristics of Type A Personalities.
Negative effects of Type A Personalities: Hypertension.
Heart Disease. Job Stress. Social Isolation.
Type A Traits Can be altered!
Dealing with Type A Personalities.
Assertive communication/ Conflict resolution techniques.
Healthy Boundaries.

Locus of ControlLocus of Control
‘locus of control’ refers to whether you feel your
life is controlled by you or by forces outside
yourself.
Internal or external.
Locus of control shaped by events: Childhood,
Adulthood, Habitual thinking patterns.
Changing your locus of control can reduce stress.
You have a choice
Notice your language and self-talk.
Attitude: Optimism V Pessimism

Other factorsOther factors
Anger and Stress: Perception,Personality, Attitude.
Do Your find yourself constantly replaying
something in your mind? Rumination
Reflection V Brooding
The toll of Brooding
Distorted thinking.
Optimism V Pessimism

Unhealthy responsesUnhealthy responses
Unhealthy Responses
Caffeine, Smoking, drinking, compulsive
spending, emotional eating.
Staying Healthy
Diet: Limit/ Avoid Caffeine/Nicotine.
Exercise regularly.
Sleep.
Sex.
Relaxation: Meditation. Massage. Breathing. Play.

Social SupportSocial Support
Time Management: Nurturing and going out
having fun.
Assertiveness: Strengthen your relationships.
Listening to your friends:
Its important to give as well as receive.
Ask about feelings and listen.
Reflect back what you hear.
Focus on them and their feelings.
Listen to your Intuition:
Build a healthier social circle.

Letting go aLetting go a
Relationship.Relationship.
Make a list of friendships in your life.
Circle the names of those who are positive.
For the remainder asses and circle those who are
positive. Cross off those who are negative.
Focus on the ones who are circled. Let go or
reduce contact with those that have been crossed
off.
Exercise: Assessing a relationship.

LonelinessLoneliness
Everyone experiences loneliness.
When?
Effects of Loneliness.
What Can you do?
Peer support
Benefits of Peer support

Workshop 4 relationships 2: Family and Friends

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

What's hot

What's hot (20)

Viewers also liked

Viewers also liked (11)

Similar to Workshop 4 relationships 2: Family and Friends

Similar to Workshop 4 relationships 2: Family and Friends (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

Workshop 4 relationships 2: Family and Friends

Editor's Notes