Pen House

PRESENTING YOU THE HOTTEST PENS AND BABES IN AUSTRALIA! LETHAL WEA PEN : A DO IT YOURSELF GUIDE ON HOW TO CONSTRUCT A PEN GUN PRIMARY SCHOOL DISAPPOINTMENT: LOCAL PRIMARY SCHOOL RUNS OUT OF PEN LICENSES, LEAVING EAGER STUDENTS DISAPPOINTED AS THEY WILL HAVE TO RE-SIT THE PEN TEST JULY 01 $7.99 (Inc GST) KATE BECKINSALE REVEALS MORE THAN JUST HER SKIN!! SHE REVEALS HER PASSION FOR PENS & HOW THEY HAVE INFLUENCED HER LIFE PEN HOUSE EXCLUSIVE EARTH IN CRISIS AS THE INFAMOUS PEN THIEFS STEALS THE WORLDS MOST EFFICENT AND EXPENSIVE PENS POLICE ARE LEFT IN CONFUSION AS THEY HAVE NO PENS TO DOCUMENT SUCH ACTIVITES AS A CRIME

THE REAL TERRORISM A pen to the average citizen doesn’t mean much, but when the prized pen has been pen-napped it’s almost as devastating as losing a loved one… or maybe worse. Reports from all over the world indicate over 23% percent of all pens owned have been pen-napped or broken by a terrorist organization calling themselves ‘’The Inde pen dents ‘’. A.Z.I.O. believe the members linked to the terrorist group are the ex workers of pen-tastic after the company plummeted, resulting in loss of work for employees. The Independents are believed to con their targets by advertising pen repairs in the newspaper and then stealing the pen. The most expensive pen stolen so far was a rare fountain pen used by Thomas Edison which was valued over $101,255,600 yen (1 million AUS). The Independents offered the one of a kind pen back for twice its value or it would be destroyed. Unfortunately The Independents don’t just take pens for ransom but for their own sick twisted pleasure, they also torture pens. They have even been known to send back footage of pens set on fire and even pens going through the lawnmower. Police office Harry Benson was doing a daily scout when he spotted a rare vintage pen floating on the river. The condition of this pen was the worst of all the massacred pens, it had its ink tube removed, stabbed and it was strangled death. Harry says ‘’I immediately cried after I retrieved this unique pen and felt sick… How could anyone do this to an innocent pen?’’. It’s a miracle that Harry Benson was able to spot the pen from miles away but Harry believes he was born with a gift, the gift to sense and talk to pens. The owner of the pen was so devastated the day after when she was informed of the bad news, she committed suicide.
Harry Benson believes until the threat is eliminated we should protect ourselves but mostly our pens. Harry gives the following advice for all citizens:
Walk in zig zags.
Never carry pens on you at anytime.
Only use pencils.
Never go outside in the dark.
Equip rare and valuable pens with the GPS tracker.
If approached by a pen thief, hand them a decoy pen.
IVE HAD MY PEN NICKED BY THE INDEPENDENTS Another victim of the terrorism Well known pop sensation Brittany Spears in tears when she finds out her pen was thrown off a cliff

My biggest inspiration in life is the founder of BIC pens. I remember the day I got my pen and someone in Kmart went up to me and asked if I would feature in a Cottees cordial ad. Shortly after my first time on the screen, I got involved with small time TV shows such as Who's pen is it anyway? Everybody loves biros , and special guest in The Simpsons as a pen. I owe it to the day that I got my pen. I still have it encased in an inch of fiber glass incase the pen-nappers attempt stealing it. As far as my love life goes, there isn't a special man in my life. I'm kind of choosey with my men. Lets just say I like my men like I like my pens: durable, multicolored, clicky and goes the distance! Kate Beckinsale may be the most underrated hottie, but she tells us what she has been up to and what her passion in life is in this exclusive interview. Kate-ilicious

The clicky pen that clicked one too many times The highly new anticipated pen made by BIC ‘’click-a-matic’’ wont be making an appearance in your stationary isle at your newsagence anymore. While BIC were testing this prototype, they encountered a technical error that sent the pen into a clicking frenzy. Instead of the pens primary function of automatically clicking when needed, it clicked continuously. The click-a-matic clicked approximately 10 times per second for nearly 5 whole days straight without ever stopping. Back at the lab, the professors spent 5 days without sleep trying to seize the prototype. By the 4 th day, the 5 professors claimed they were having visions, panic and anxiety attacks. A month later after the weird symptoms from the clicky pen, 3 of the 5 professors committed suicide. In their death letters, they claimed to have nightmares about pens, pens that ran out while in the worst situations, pens that were too big to use, but most shockingly pens that weren't pens at all but pencils in disguised as pens. 1 professor burnt down his house when he discovered that his wife had been having an affair with a gentleman with the surname of Crayola Professor Mike Hunt, a survivor says ‘’the pen was possessed, it was the work of the devil. It would just click and click and eventually it started to talk, it told me to kill Leonardo di Caprio because he's a poofo and to burn all Ben Affleck movies at blockbuster’’. ‘’ we fear that if this pen gets out into the wide world, it could be the apocalypse times a quad trillion, and that is why the pen isn't going to be released’’. After the interview, Mike Hunt was found dead in an IGA supermarket with a cold sausage roll in hand. The odd thing was that the meat fill of the sausage roll wasn’t meat, but replaced with ink cartridges. From the autopsy, doctors found that his body had a high level of ink in his blood. Wife of Mike Hunt revealed the woeful truth, that Mike would inject himself with ink and somehow he got high off it. He started a new cult also where all members would subject themselves to inking (injecting ink in order to get high). While they were high, they claimed to see god, and they also claim that god is neither human or animal but a regular single colored pen. All click-a-matics at the BIC factory have all been destroyed.

Racism at its worst UNLEADED $1.34 DIESEL $1.24 LPG $0.56 CALTEX ! ! Support lead pencils by buying anything lead, like bullets I cant even get petrol without getting harassed!

Pen House

by mallala7 on Jan 16, 2008

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Pen House — Presentation Transcript

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