At age of 6, I was sent to church school, a course to study Christinaty or Catholic.
And I was fully sponsored by the church, because my parents were the organisers of one of the largest church in Indonesia.
Later at a teenage age, I joined a Church’s Institution called Liaision Maria. (Maria means Maryam, Mother of Jesus)
The mission of this Church Institution is to search for the “Stray Sheeps”
Whom they mean by “Stray Sheeps”? They are not those goats we slaughtered for our foods or Eid Adha celebration.
What they mean by “Stray Sheeps” are those who are not Christians.
They considered Muslims as “Stray Sheeps” and there are programs to christianise them.
A year later I became a leader of a Christian movement which has the biggest members in Indonesia.
Then I joined a Christian Church to became a Nun or Sister.
I never have any intention to be a Muslim. My ambition to be a Nun had been achieved.
When my ambition to be a Nun is achieved from this point Allah guides His servant (me).
I was further sent to study at The Institute of teology and philosophy, meant for highest level for Christian Pastors.
There I studied comparative religions. I learned about Islam not as a truth religion but Islam a bad religion.
They explained that if you want to know about Islam, just look at the Muslims in Indonesia.
In Indonesia, those who are poor, what are their religions? Islam.
Those who are stupid what are their religion? Islam.
Who are those who lost their shoes during Fridays prayers? Islam.
Who are those refuse to be United? Islam. Who are the terrorists? Islam.
All my friends made a conclusion that Islam is a bad religion. At the moment I told them that their conclusion was not true.
Then I said to my superior priest, that it is not proven that Islam bad.
Then I put a resolution to study Islam from its own source. I was given a permission with a condition to find weaknesses of Islam.
When I read the Quran, It spectically mentioned that God is one and only One. This Unity of God, contradicted to Trinity of God, that I learned in church.
At night I read the Quran, (Sura Al Ikhlas) mentioning that God is One.
But in the morning, in the church at the theology class, The Priest, Rev. Father said that God is One, but in three Persons-TRINITY.
At night there was a strenght putting on study again. Deep inside my heart it said that “God is One” and “This is the Truth”.
Next morning I had a dialogue with my Church Priest. I told him that I still did not understand the “Trinity of God”
The Priest was suprised. How could a Christian Nun like me at this stage still do not understand the “Trinity of God”.
The Priest came forward and drew a triangle. He explained that as a triangle having three corners. God is one, having three persons. 19th century representation of the medieval symbol of the Holy Trinity. Pater ('father'), Filius ('son'), Spiritus ('spirit') and Deus ('God'). The lines linking the outher symbols read non est ('is not'), but the lines linking to the middle read est ('is'
I said, the world will be developing fast, God will be unable to manage with three persons.
There is a possibility that God needs another person. “Is it possible?”
My learned Priest responded that “It is not possible?”
I said, it is possible and come forward and drew a square (a triangle with 3 corners, and now a square with 4 corners)
My learned Priest said “Can not”. Earlier he said “not possible”, now “Cannot”. I said: “Why?”
He said: “ This is a dogma! Either you understand or not, just accept it, swallow it! And do not ask any question about it!”
The priest said “Do not question about Trinity of God. If you question and doubtful, you are sinnful.”
Although I received such a reply, at night I still had a strong interest to study the Quran.
I was keen to have a dialogue with my learned Priest, about the concept of God, or Unity of God.
One I asked the Priest, “Who make these tables?” He did not want to answer, and he wanted me to answer.