Emotional IntelligenceFrom Self Awareness to RelationshipManagement               Prepared For:           NCLA Leadership ...
Objectives….. Prove that ―soft skills‖ have hard value  within the life of an organization. Provide a framework that ena...
NCLA Leadership InstituteMission The mission of NCLA Leadership Institute is to create opportunities for learning and ski...
What is any library’smost important asset?Did you say people?
Consider….. What are the things that make a person a  liability? What are the things that make a person an  asset?
Surprisingly These 2 Lists Share  ONE COMMON SOURCE:        The Human Brain
Human Beings Have At Least  2 Types of Intelligence:Left Brain          Right Brain
The Framework IQ = Intelligence Quotient  – Academic learning, language, rational thoughts,    analysis EQ = Emotional Q...
Major Players In The Field Daniel Goleman – whose best seller  introduced the ideas to most people. Robert K. Cooper – h...
Emotional Intelligence Defined ―Emotional intelligence‖ refers to the  capacity for recognizing our own feelings  and tho...
IQ –vs- EQ   (Intelligence Quotient –vs- Emotional Quotient)• Research indicates                     IQ  that IQ can help ...
Emotional Intelligence  REGULATION RECOGNITION                           Self Awareness             Social Awareness      ...
Self Awareness Self awareness - knowing ones internal  states, preferences, resources and intuitions.  – the key to incre...
Self Awareness Increasing our own levels of self awareness  therefore, empowers us to make different  choices.  – Not tha...
Building Emotional Trust – Group            Exercise Consider the following statement:  “IF YOU KNEW THIS ABOUT ME, YOU  ...
Building Emotional Trust – Group            Exercise What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about others?...
The Emotional BrainYour life experiences are not sterile facts; they areemotionally laden memories.
Self Awareness – Your CurrentEnvironment Your current life circumstances, at home  and at work sets the context for explo...
Self Awareness EmotionalCompetencies High degrees of self awareness are strongly  correlated with the following competenc...
Values & Attitudes One’s view of the world and what one values within it….  –   Described in the words we use  –   The ac...
Self Awareness Principles… Taking the time for mindfulness. Recognizing and naming emotions. Understanding the causes o...
Emotional Intelligence  REGULATION RECOGNITION                           Self Awareness             Social Awareness      ...
The Marshmallow Self-Management              Test
The Marshmallow Self-Management     Test– Group Feedback If you have the courage (self-awareness) to  admit it, which chi...
Self Management… EssentialComponents Emotional self-control Integrity Innovation / creativity Initiative / bias for ac...
Emotional Self-Control Fosters aPositive Work Environment Emotional self-control refers to how we  control or effectively...
Enhancing Self Control Remain aware of feelings.  – Paying attention to how you feel—in the    moment—is critical. Keep ...
Integrity Builds Confidence & Trust Integrity is defined as ―doing the right thing,  even when no one is looking.‖ Imagi...
Enhancing Integrity Know your values and principles.  – Constantly remind yourself of what you believe    in, so you natu...
Enhancing Self Control & Integrity:         Group Exercise Review the self control & integrity self-  management principl...
30 MINUET BREAK
Emotional Intelligence  REGULATION RECOGNITION                           Self Awareness             Social Awareness      ...
Social Awareness definitions Social Awareness   – Awareness of others feelings, needs or concerns Empathy (mandatory)   ...
Social Complexity in Groups                1.      Individual                          Level   In Groups:   2.            ...
How Social Awareness Affects the        Bottom Line              Better Decisions, More Creative Solutions, Higher Product...
Social Awareness Model  3          6 Dimensions             9 NormsLevelsIndividual   Group awareness of       Interperson...
Social Awareness….. It is not about…        It is about . . .  catching and             bringing emotions to  suppressin...
Social Awareness:         Group Exercise EQ SELF-ASSESSMENT CHECKLIST
Becoming Socially Aware of Needs Being aware of others ―needs‖ Needs:  – Unfulfilled physiological and psychological    ...
Becoming Socially Aware of Needs Hierarchy of needs theory:  – Developed by Abraham Maslow.  – Lower-order and higher-ord...
Becoming Socially Aware of Needs                                   41
Effective Social Awareness RequiresEmpathy The old song title ―Walk a Mile in My  Shoes‖ sums up the concept of empathy....
Enhancing Your Ability ToEmpathize Listening is the key. Remember, you don’t  have to agree with what is said; it’s about...
Enhancing Your Ability ToEmpathize Acknowledge what you think you heard (or saw). Remember, you don’t have to agree with ...
Model of Emotional IntelligenceHighest    Relationship                             Managing other people’s emotions       ...
The Three Layers of the BrainThe Layers:                    How Each Layer Learns:Rational Brain (thinking)      Rational ...
Gender Differences? Women tend to be more aware of their emotions,show more empathy and are adept interpersonally.Men tend...
Emotions, Attitudes and Behavior                          Perceived Environment           Cognitive                       ...
Relationship Management…   “The key to management success is to   keep the folks who hate you away from   the undecided”  ...
Great Leaders Move Us    Through our emotions –     which are contagious
Exercise Think of a leader for whom or with whom you  worked - one that you would gladly work with or  for again. Think ...
Relationship Management DrivesLeadership Power  – Ability to get someone else to do something you    want done or make th...
Relationship Management DrivesLeadership Position power  – Based on a manager’s official status in the    organization’s ...
Relationship Management DrivesLeadership Personal power  – Based on the unique personal qualities that a person brings   ...
Alternative change strategies andtheir leadership implications.                                    55
4 Criteria For RelationshipManagement A decision regarding the best course of  action in a particular situation. An inte...
Relationship Management DrivesOrganizational Commitment Affective commitment  – Emotional attachment to, identification w...
Building Organizational  Commitment Justice and support      Organizational   – Apply humanitarian        comprehension ...
Intelligence               IntellectualEmotional
QUESTIONS / COMMENTS
COPYRIGHTCopyright 2012 © Solomon Management, LLC. All rightsreserved. Reproduction or translation of this work beyondthat...
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Emotional intelligence from self awareness to relationship management ncla participants

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Eric Gladney's presentation on emotional intelligence at the NCLA Leadership Institute.

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Emotional intelligence from self awareness to relationship management ncla participants

  1. 1. Emotional IntelligenceFrom Self Awareness to RelationshipManagement Prepared For: NCLA Leadership Institute Dr. Eric M. Gladney – Presenter
  2. 2. Objectives….. Prove that ―soft skills‖ have hard value within the life of an organization. Provide a framework that enables us to re- think what the elements of success are. Build a leadership framework that emerging leaders can begin to leverage across their careers which enables them to better serve their constituency.
  3. 3. NCLA Leadership InstituteMission The mission of NCLA Leadership Institute is to create opportunities for learning and skill building in leadership and mentoring. The institute will cultivate an improved understanding of self and others, while inspiring participants to serve in leadership roles within the profession at local, state and national levels.
  4. 4. What is any library’smost important asset?Did you say people?
  5. 5. Consider….. What are the things that make a person a liability? What are the things that make a person an asset?
  6. 6. Surprisingly These 2 Lists Share ONE COMMON SOURCE: The Human Brain
  7. 7. Human Beings Have At Least 2 Types of Intelligence:Left Brain Right Brain
  8. 8. The Framework IQ = Intelligence Quotient – Academic learning, language, rational thoughts, analysis EQ = Emotional Quotient = Emotional Intelligence – Intra-personal competence, interpersonal or social competence
  9. 9. Major Players In The Field Daniel Goleman – whose best seller introduced the ideas to most people. Robert K. Cooper – his work is focused on leadership. He has coauthored the EQ Map which allows people to identify how they have used EQ during the past 30 days. Reuven Bar-on – has developed an instrument for measuring EQ ability. It has 17 years of research behind it.
  10. 10. Emotional Intelligence Defined ―Emotional intelligence‖ refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and our relationships. Goleman “Working with Emotional Intelligence” 1998.
  11. 11. IQ –vs- EQ (Intelligence Quotient –vs- Emotional Quotient)• Research indicates IQ that IQ can help you to be successful to the extent of 20% only in life. The remaining 80% is EQ dependent on your EQ.
  12. 12. Emotional Intelligence REGULATION RECOGNITION Self Awareness Social Awareness Self Confidence Empathy Emotional Self Awareness Organizational Awareness Accurate Self Assessment Service Orientation Self Management Relationship Mgmt Self Control Influence Trust worthiness Inspirational Leadership Conscientiousness Developing Others Adaptability Building Bonds Achievement
  13. 13. Self Awareness Self awareness - knowing ones internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions. – the key to increased personal and organizational performance. – "bringing to the conscious mind an understanding of the compulsions that push us around" It is waking up and realizing WHO you really are and WHY you do the things the way that you do them.
  14. 14. Self Awareness Increasing our own levels of self awareness therefore, empowers us to make different choices. – Not that we will automatically do things differently. – ……some habits die hard! It allows the leader and the people that they influence to move to a place of not automatically reacting in the same old inappropriate manner as before.
  15. 15. Building Emotional Trust – Group Exercise Consider the following statement: “IF YOU KNEW THIS ABOUT ME, YOU WOULD BETTER UNDERSTAND WHO I AM AS A MEMBER OF THIS TEAM.”
  16. 16. Building Emotional Trust – Group Exercise What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about others? What did you learn about truthful communication? What did you learn about the value of self awareness?
  17. 17. The Emotional BrainYour life experiences are not sterile facts; they areemotionally laden memories.
  18. 18. Self Awareness – Your CurrentEnvironment Your current life circumstances, at home and at work sets the context for exploring your EQ capacities. Many times, individuals are unaware that they are having an emotional reaction. – Underdeveloped self awareness leads to a ―just do it‖ / ―fly by the seat of my paints‖ attitude – We need emotional competencies to help us in this area.
  19. 19. Self Awareness EmotionalCompetencies High degrees of self awareness are strongly correlated with the following competencies: – Intentionality – Creativity – Resilience – Interpersonal Connections – Constructive Discontent
  20. 20. Values & Attitudes One’s view of the world and what one values within it…. – Described in the words we use – The actions we take – Consistency over time – They shape our outlook – They fuel our compassion – They inform our intuition
  21. 21. Self Awareness Principles… Taking the time for mindfulness. Recognizing and naming emotions. Understanding the causes of feelings. Differentiating between emotion and the need to tack action. Preventing depression through ―learned optimism‖. Managing anger through learned behavior. Listening for the lesson of feelings.
  22. 22. Emotional Intelligence REGULATION RECOGNITION Self Awareness Social Awareness Self Confidence Empathy Emotional Self Awareness Organizational Awareness Accurate Self Assessment Service Orientation Self Management Relationship Mgmt Self Control Influence Trust worthiness Inspirational Leadership Conscientiousness Developing Others Adaptability Building Bonds Achievement
  23. 23. The Marshmallow Self-Management Test
  24. 24. The Marshmallow Self-Management Test– Group Feedback If you have the courage (self-awareness) to admit it, which child were you? In what way(s)? How do you see marshmallow test relating to emotional intelligence?
  25. 25. Self Management… EssentialComponents Emotional self-control Integrity Innovation / creativity Initiative / bias for action Resilience and Achievement drive Realistic optimism and Intentionality
  26. 26. Emotional Self-Control Fosters aPositive Work Environment Emotional self-control refers to how we control or effectively manage the behaviors our emotions trigger. If individuals fail to self manage and loses control of their emotions often, this can create an atmosphere of negativity that ultimately hampers a team’s productivity.
  27. 27. Enhancing Self Control Remain aware of feelings. – Paying attention to how you feel—in the moment—is critical. Keep a journal. – Create a list of situations or events that ―trigger‖ negative emotions. Pay attention to ―self talk.‖ – Tell yourself what it looks and feels like to be under control. Remember, you have a choice.
  28. 28. Integrity Builds Confidence & Trust Integrity is defined as ―doing the right thing, even when no one is looking.‖ Imagine for a moment a scenario in which an organization’s leaders lack integrity. – What do you see? This behavior (this lack of self-management in the area of integrity), can create a culture where employees & constituents spend valuable time ―second-guessing‖ their leadership. – …when employees should be focused on goal achievement & constituents benefiting from them.
  29. 29. Enhancing Integrity Know your values and principles. – Constantly remind yourself of what you believe in, so you naturally live by your values. Examine your behavior. – Determine how well your behavior aligns with your values. Admit mistakes. – When you are wrong, don’t hesitate to say so. Keep your word and treat people fairly.
  30. 30. Enhancing Self Control & Integrity: Group Exercise Review the self control & integrity self- management principles on both sides of the handout. Choose one of the questions and write a brief response. Discuss its impact on your emotional intelligence with your group.
  31. 31. 30 MINUET BREAK
  32. 32. Emotional Intelligence REGULATION RECOGNITION Self Awareness Social Awareness Self Confidence Empathy Emotional Self Awareness Organizational Awareness Accurate Self Assessment Service Orientation Self Management Relationship Mgmt Self Control Influence Trust worthiness Inspirational Leadership Conscientiousness Developing Others Adaptability Building Bonds Achievement
  33. 33. Social Awareness definitions Social Awareness – Awareness of others feelings, needs or concerns Empathy (mandatory) – Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns Organizational Awareness – Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships Service Orientation – Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs
  34. 34. Social Complexity in Groups 1. Individual Level In Groups: 2. Group • 1 + 1 =3 Level • Emotion is 3. contagious 4. 34
  35. 35. How Social Awareness Affects the Bottom Line Better Decisions, More Creative Solutions, Higher Productivity Participation, Cooperation, Collaboration Trust, Group Identity, Group Efficacy, NetworksGroup Emotional Intelligence 35
  36. 36. Social Awareness Model 3 6 Dimensions 9 NormsLevelsIndividual Group awareness of Interpersonal understanding members Group management of Confronting members who break members norms Caring behaviorGroup Group self-awareness Team self-evaluation Group self- management Creating resources for working with emotion Creating an optimistic environment Proactive problem solvingCross- Group social awareness Organizational understandingboundary(External) Group social skills Building external relationships
  37. 37. Social Awareness….. It is not about…  It is about . . . catching and bringing emotions to suppressing emotions the surface and as they bubble up proactively understanding their It is not about… meaning and impact on being nice the team and its performance 37
  38. 38. Social Awareness: Group Exercise EQ SELF-ASSESSMENT CHECKLIST
  39. 39. Becoming Socially Aware of Needs Being aware of others ―needs‖ Needs: – Unfulfilled physiological and psychological desires of an individual. – Explain workplace behavior and attitudes. – Create tensions that influence attitudes and behavior. – Good managers and leaders facilitate need satisfaction.
  40. 40. Becoming Socially Aware of Needs Hierarchy of needs theory: – Developed by Abraham Maslow. – Lower-order and higher-order needs affect workplace behavior and attitudes. – Lower-order needs: • Physiological, safety, and social needs. • Desires for physical and social well being. – Higher-order needs • Esteem and self-actualization needs • Desire for psychological growth and development
  41. 41. Becoming Socially Aware of Needs 41
  42. 42. Effective Social Awareness RequiresEmpathy The old song title ―Walk a Mile in My Shoes‖ sums up the concept of empathy. By being attuned to how others feel, an effective leader will likely say and do what is most appropriate in any given situation. – Calming fears – Reducing the severity of anger – Joining in the high spirits of the team
  43. 43. Enhancing Your Ability ToEmpathize Listening is the key. Remember, you don’t have to agree with what is said; it’s about acceptance. Learn to listen for feelings. People don’t always express their true feelings or concerns directly, so listen for words that express feelings and needs. Make time for people. Make addressing the concerns and feelings of others a top priority.
  44. 44. Enhancing Your Ability ToEmpathize Acknowledge what you think you heard (or saw). Remember, you don’t have to agree with what is said; it’s about acceptance. Withhold judgment. When you’re tempted to criticize or dismiss the opinions or feelings of others, stop. Also consider the merits of the other person’s point of view before you respond.
  45. 45. Model of Emotional IntelligenceHighest Relationship Managing other people’s emotions Management Understanding and sensitivity to the Social Awareness feelings, thoughts, and situation of others Controlling or redirecting our internal Self-management states, impulses, and resources Understanding your own emotions,Lowest Self-awareness strengths, weaknesses, values, and motives
  46. 46. The Three Layers of the BrainThe Layers: How Each Layer Learns:Rational Brain (thinking) Rational Brain (reading, studying) cortex and neo-cortex grasps concepts quickly analytical & technical associations, comprehension abilityEmotional Brain (feeling) Emotional Brain (experiencing) limbic system motivation, extended practice, feelings, impulses, drives feedback, repetition (breaking a habit)First Brain brainstem
  47. 47. Gender Differences? Women tend to be more aware of their emotions,show more empathy and are adept interpersonally.Men tend to be more self-confident and optimistic, adapt more easily, and handle stress better. However, on the whole, men and women are generally equal in total emotional intelligence.
  48. 48. Emotions, Attitudes and Behavior Perceived Environment Cognitive Emotional process process Beliefs Emotional EpisodesAttitude Feelings Behavioral Intentions Mirror Neurons Behavior
  49. 49. Relationship Management… “The key to management success is to keep the folks who hate you away from the undecided” Earl Weaver
  50. 50. Great Leaders Move Us Through our emotions – which are contagious
  51. 51. Exercise Think of a leader for whom or with whom you worked - one that you would gladly work with or for again. Think of a person in a leadership position that you try to avoid, or left you drained, or hoping for more. How would you DESCRIBE these people? How did they make you FEEL?
  52. 52. Relationship Management DrivesLeadership Power – Ability to get someone else to do something you want done or make things happen the way you want. Power should be used to influence and control others for the common good rather seeking to exercise control for personal satisfaction. Two sources of managerial power: – Position power. – Personal power. 52
  53. 53. Relationship Management DrivesLeadership Position power – Based on a manager’s official status in the organization’s hierarchy of authority. Sources of position power: – Reward power • Capability to offer something of value. – Coercive power • Capability to punish or withhold positive outcomes. – Legitimate power • Organizational position or status confers the right to control those in subordinate positions. 53
  54. 54. Relationship Management DrivesLeadership Personal power – Based on the unique personal qualities that a person brings to the leadership situation. Sources of personal power: – Expert power • Capacity to influence others because of one’s knowledge and skills. – Referent power • Capacity to influence others because they admire you and want to identify positively with you. 54
  55. 55. Alternative change strategies andtheir leadership implications. 55
  56. 56. 4 Criteria For RelationshipManagement A decision regarding the best course of action in a particular situation. An interaction with others based on the research youve done. An outcome – How and what you say or do will be guided by a specific outcome you want to achieve. Your needs – The outcome you intend to achieve will be guided by your specific needs, or the business needs, at that time.
  57. 57. Relationship Management DrivesOrganizational Commitment Affective commitment – Emotional attachment to, identification with, and involvement in an organization Continuance commitment – Belief that staying with the organization serves your personal interests
  58. 58. Building Organizational Commitment Justice and support  Organizational – Apply humanitarian comprehension values – Know firm’s – Support employee well- past/present/future being – Open and rapid Shared values communication – Values congruence  Employee involvement Trust – Employees feel part of – Employees trust org company leaders – Involvement – Job security supports demonstrates trust trust
  59. 59. Intelligence IntellectualEmotional
  60. 60. QUESTIONS / COMMENTS
  61. 61. COPYRIGHTCopyright 2012 © Solomon Management, LLC. All rightsreserved. Reproduction or translation of this work beyondthat named in Section 117 of the United States Copyright Actwithout the express written permission of the copyright owneris unlawful. Requests for further information should beaddressed to the Permissions Department, SolomonManagement, LLC (4016-H Battleground Ave - PMB 109Greensboro, NC 27410). The purchaser may make back-upcopies for his/her own use only and not for distribution orresale. The Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors,omissions, or damages, caused by the use of these programs orfrom the use of the information contained herein.
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