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  • 1.  Increase in the early 1990s More familiar with the costs and benefits Intimacy and companionship Romance and sexual expression
  • 2.  Slow and complex Balancing career, kids, extended family and new marriage Takes an estimated 4-7 years to adjust.
  • 3.  40% of remarriages (with kids) separate by 4 years. By 10 years, 47% of those with kids separate. Higher separation/divorce rate than 1st marriages
  • 4. Mistake Failure Difficulties with children  Unable to establish cause the split. stable family system  Bringing in old Occurs early (first 5 issues, habits. years)  Work and in-laws Rushed, did not consider prevent the stabilizing of feelings of children new marriage.
  • 5.  Bringing baggage, previous marriage Unsettled emotional issues Greater involvement in work – later life New marital, spouse and parent roles to rework Inability to form new family habits Unrealistic expectations for the marriage
  • 6. Recovery, Inclusion, Marital Sub-System
  • 7.  Emotional, social and physical strain of first marriage “getting over” grief, anger, jealousy, resentment Achieving stability on yourown before 2nd marriage
  • 8.  Consider new family, kids and current in-laws How will the new family system operate? Open or closed? Contact with ex-spouses? Crucial for benefit ofchildren
  • 9.  Establishing sub-system of how new family will function Clear boundaries for both partners Decide priorities – parental and spousal Emphasize “we” problem solving
  • 10.  More practical than romantic Supporting and raising children Supporting each other in later life Can deal with conflict despite “eyes” of kids, in-laws, ex-spouses.
  • 11.  Parent-child relationships is older than the new marriage. Stigma and stereotyping Intruder? Resent attempts at intimacy.
  • 12.  Re-adjustment of birthorder status Rivalry caused by conflictingpersonalities Parent loyalty, “siding” “sudden siblings” and repressedattraction
  • 13.  No obvious ones! Least successful?  Don’t try to be a “healer”  Those that demand intimacy Most successful?  Between parent and trusted friend  Model after in-laws
  • 14. Traditional Benefits Practical Costs Dual income  Little improvement to child’s well-being Financial stability  Child distress and mental health issues Partner support (emotional and social)  Educational difficulty “two heads” are better  Worse for boys than girls
  • 15.  Remarriage later in life Need for adult children’s approval  Loyalty to old parent  Assume the worst (marry for money) This stage in life remarriage indicates earlier successes Men are more likely to remarry than women.