R GUYS AND DOLLS JR. byD. Runyon, F. Loesser, J. Swerling, A. Burrows PROGRAMMA DI SALA AD ESCLUSIVO USO DIDATTICO. SONO VIETATE LA RIPRODUZIONE E LA DIVULGAZIONE TRAMITE APPARATI FOTOCOPIATORI, SALVO ESPRESSA AUTORIZZAZIONE DI PALKETTOSTAGE.
Dal testo alla scena Sarah, usano i locali della missione per organizzare la loro bisca. QuandoGuys and Dolls è un musical nato dalle mani di Jo Swerling e Abe Burrows, il tenente Brannigan, alle costole di Nathan fin dall’inizio della storia, liche riadattarono due racconti di Damon Runyon: Idillio di Miss Sarah sorprende, la timida Sarah scagiona tutti, salvando bisca e missione. Alla fineBrown e Pressione Sanguigna. Fu una produzione decisamente costosa ma Sky riusce a convincere i ragazzi a partecipare all’incontro di preghiera, luiche diede buoni frutti: le musiche di Frank Loesser, la fotografia di Harry e Nathan compresi: un’ottima terapia per i due che, messa la testa a posto,Stradling, i personaggi di Runyon e la direzione di George S. Kaufman si daranno finalmente un lieto fine, con fede nuziale annessa, a tutta la storia.rivelarono un’ottima squadra, tanto che, dopo il debutto, il 24 novembredel 1950 al 46th Street Theatre, Guys and Dolls ebbe numerose repliche e Note di regialunghe tournée. L’anno successivo vinse cinque Tony Awards, tra cui quello L’idea alla base di questa produzione è il richiamo continuo agli Americancome miglior musical tra 1.200 spettacoli in gara. Dopo questo successo, Books, i mini tabloid a fumetto contenenti avventurose storie cariche diil passo successivo non poteva che essere Hollywood; il musical ispirò humour. Il risultato è una completa immersione, visiva e sonora, nel piùl’omonimo film del 1955, diretto da Joseph L. Mankiewicz, con Marlon tipico dei musical, tra le luci del palco e un ritmo inarrestabile. In scena,Brando e Frank Sinatra (che, a sua volta, fu nominato per quattro Oscar) due corpi di ballo, uno maschile e l’altro femminile, in un’alternanza divincendo due Golden Globe: come miglior film e come miglior attrice (Jean coreografie Anni ’40 che richiamano alla mente tutto lo scintillìo e laSimmons). Un musical fortunato e di grande impatto quello di Guys and sfarzosità del teatro musicale di Broadway. Guys and Dolls Jr. è unoDolls, che ebbe nel tempo numerose riprese in teatro, anche se il revival di spettacolo allegro, gioioso, ma soprattutto, in perenne movimento: in cuimaggior successo fu quello del 1992, diretto da Jerry Zaks che raggiunse le basta una nota per mettere in scena quella fisicità tanto cara alle commedie1.143 repliche e finì anch’esso per aggiudicarsi quattro Tony Awards, tra cui musicali. E dove sembra essere proprio la musica a guidare le azioni e auna statuetta come miglior revival. scatenare gli incontri. Complici il ritmo, la vivacità inarrestabile dei colori e la giusta atmosfera di un American Book.Le canzoni del musical Regia di Daryl BranchFugue for Tinhorns; Follow the Fold; The Oldest Established; Ill Know; ABushel and a Peck; Adelaides Lament; Guys and Dolls; If I Were a Bell; IveNever Been in Love Before; Luck Be a Lady; Sit Down, Youre Rockin theBoat; Marry the Man Today.La tramaUna delle commedie più spassose di Broadway, Guys and Dolls è lafotografia di una New York Anni ’50 alle prese con le bische clandestine.Per poterne allestire una e pagarne l’affitto, un incallito giocatore d’azzardo,Nathan Detroit, sfida Sky Masterson, suo degno rivale, a una scommessadi seduzione: l’impresa consiste nell’invitare a cena Miss Sarah Brown,sergente integerrimo dell’Esercito della Salvezza. Nel frattempo l’eternafidanzata di Nathan, Adelaide, cerca in tutti i modi di spostare l’attenzionedel suo amato, dal gioco dei dadi all’anello nuziale, ma con serie difficoltà.A differenza di tutte le previsioni, invece, Sky riesce ad ottenere unappuntamento a cena con Sarah promettendole nuovi volontari da arruolarenella missione. Nonostante gli scopi dell’invito fossero di gran lunga menonobili, ben presto i due si ritrovano innamorati, ma senza più peccatoripenitenti poiché, nel frattempo, gli stessi, approfittando dell’assenza di 2 3
CHARACTERS SYNOPSIS OF SCENES (in order of appearance)Scene 1 page 6Scene 2 page 15Scene 3 page 19 HARRYScene 4 page 23 NICELYScene 5 page 25 NATHANScene 6 page 26 MISSION BANDScene 7 A page 29 SARAHScene 7 B page 29 AGATHAScene 8 A page 31Scene 8 B page 31 BRANNIGANScene 9 page 34 CRAP SHOOTERSScene 10 page 36 ADELAIDEScene 11 page 37 SKYScene 12 page 42 DOLLSScene 13 page 43 FRIENDScene 14 page 48 THE GENERALScene 15 page 50 BIG JULE MAX 4 5
SCENE 1 Nathan sings “But look at ...” Nicely sings “For Paul Revere ...” Enter Harry and Nicely Nicely Johnson, I KNOW ITS VALENTINE THE MORNING WORKS LOOK FINE both very engrossed in reading racing scratch sheets1. BESIDES THE JOCKEYS BROTHERS A FRIEND OF MINE Enter Nathan, also reading a scratch sheet. NEEDS RACE NEEDS RACE THIS GUY SAYS THE HORSE NEEDS RACENicely. I GOT THE HORSE RIGHT HERE IF HE SAYS THE HORSE NEEDS RACE NEEDS RACE NEEDS RACE THE NAME IS PAUL REVERE I GO FOR VALENTINE CAUSE ON THE MORNING LINE AND HERES A GUY THAT SAYS IF THE WEATHERS CLEAR THE GUY HAS GOT HIM FIGURED AT FIVE TO NINE CAN DO CAN DO THIS GUY SAYS THE HORSE CAN DO HAS CHANCE HAS CHANCE THIS GUY SAYS THE HORSE HAS CHANCE VALENTINE! I GOT THE HORSE RIGHT HERE IF HE SAYS THE HORSE CAN DO CAN DO CAN DO Nathan. BUT LOOK AT EPITAPH HE WINS IT BY A HALF Harry sings “Im pickinValentine ...” ACCORDING TO THIS HERE IN THE TELEGRAPH Nathan sings “But look at ...” Nicely sings “For Paul Revere ...” FOR PAUL REVERE ILL BITE 2 Benny sings “I know its ...” I HEAR HIS FOOTS ALL RIGHT OF COURSE IT ALL DEPENDS IF IT RAINED LAST NIGHT AND JUST A MINUTE BOYS IVE GOT THE FEED BOX NOISE6 LIKES MUD LIKES MUD THIS X MEANS THE HORSE LIKES MUD IT SAYS THE GREAT GRANDFATHER WAS EQUIPOISE IF THAT MEANS THE HORSE LIKES MUD LIKES MUD LIKES MUD SHOWS CLASS SHOWS CLASS THIS GUY SAYS THE HORSE I TELL YOU PAUL REVERE SHOWS CLASS NOW THIS IS NO BUM STEER3 IF HE SAYS THE HORSE SHOWS CLASS SHOWS CLASS ITS FROM A HANDICAPPER4 THATS REAL SINCERE SHOWS CLASS CAN DO CAN DO THIS GUY SAYS THE HORSE CAN DO SO MAKE IT EPITAPH HE WINS IT BY A HALF IF HE SAYS THE HORSE CAN DO CAN DO CAN DO ACCORDING TO THIS HERE IN THE TELEGRAPH PAUL REVERE I GOT THE HORSE RIGHT HERE EPITAPH I GOT THE HORSE RIGHT HERE! At end of the song a Mission Band is heard, from off, playing "Follow theHarry (shows sheet to Nathan). Fold". Enter the Mission Band. IM PICKIN VALENTINE Sarah with a tambourine, Agatha beating a bass drum and cymbals, and a CAUSE ON THE MORNING LINE5 female member carrying a small box which she places centre. THE GUY HAS GOT HIM FIGURED AT FIVE TO NINE Sarah steps on box and as they finish playing they sing “Follow the Fold”.1) A portion of a newspaper listing statistics regarding the daily horse races (horses name, betting odds, pas performance, etc.). 6) The guys who work in the stables.2) Bet.3) Bad advice.4) A "bookie" who makes the betting odds. 6 75) The odds set by the handicapper that morning.
Sarah/ FOLLOW THE FOLD7 AND STRAY NO MORE Nicely. Everybody is looking for action. I wish Nathan finds a-Mission Band. STRAY NO MORE STRAY NO MORE PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE AND WELL SAY NO MORE He stops as Brannigan enters, crosses to Harry. FOLLOW FOLLOW THE FOLD Harry. Why, if it isnt Lieutenant Brannigan of the New York PoliceSarah. BEFORE YOU TAKE ANOTHER SWALLOW Department!Sarah/ FOLLOW THE FOLD AND STRAY NO MORE Brannigan. Have either of you guys seen Nathan Detroit?Mission Band. STRAY NO MORE STRAY NO MORE IF YOURE A SINNER AND YOU PRAY NO MORE Harry. Which Nathan Detroit is that? FOLLOW FOLLOW THE FOLD Brannigan. I mean the Nathan Detroit whos been running a floating9 Sarah and the Mission Band make a disconsolate and disorderly exit; crapgame around here. You can tell him for me: I know that right now hes Nicely re-enters and watches the Band depart. running around trying to find a spot... Enter Nathan, not seeing Brannigan.Nicely. Poor Miss Sarah! I wonder why a refined doll like her is mixed up inthe Mission causes. Too bad that such a doll wastes all her time being good. Nicely. Hi, Nathan! Enter Harry the Horse, crosses to Nicely. Nathan. Nicely, Im having terrible trouble. Everybodys scared on account of that lousy Brannigan, and I cant...Harry. Hey! Nicely Nicely Johnson! Brannigan. Something wrong, Mr. Detroit? They shake hands. Nathan (a sickly grimace). Oh, hello, Lieutenant. I hope you dont think INicely. Harry the Horse! was talking about you. There are other lousy Brannigans.Harry. How goes it? Brannigan. Yes… sure! Be careful. I am keeping an eye on you!Nicely. Nicely, nicely, thank you. Brannigan glares and exits.Harry. Tell me, what about Nathan Detroit? Has he got a place for his crap Nicely. Did you find a place for the game?game?8 Nathan. I was just over to the Biltmore Garage. But Joey wants a thousandNicely. The police are looking for him. bucks.10Harry. Well, tell him Im loaded and looking for action. Harry. A thousand bucks!7) Live a righteous life. 9) Moving from place to place.8) Gambling with dice. 10) Dollars. 8 9
Nathan. In cash. They all gather down stage.Harry. Nathan, cant you do something? TO THE OLDEST ESTABLISHED PERMANENT FLOATING CRAP GAME IN NEW YORKNathan. What can I do? Im broke. I couldnt even buy Adelaide a presenttoday, and you know what day today is? It is mine and Adelaides fourteenth Crapshooters. WHERES THE ACTION WHERES THE GAMEanniversary. We been engaged fourteen years. Nicely/Harry/ GOTTA HAVE THE GAME OR WELL DIE FROM SHAME Enter Crap Shooters. Nathan.Nicely. THE BILTMORE GARAGE WANTS A GRAND11 All. ITS THE OLDEST ESTABLISHED PERMANENT FLOATING CRAP GAME IN NEW YORKHarry. BUT WE AINT GOT A GRAND ON HAND All the Crap Shooters13 start to exit. Nathan shouts after them as they exit.Nathan. AND THEYVE NOW GOT A LOCK ON THE DOOR OF THE GYM AT PUBLIC SCHOOL EIGHTY-FOUR Harry. Say, Nathan, you know who else is looking for action? Sky Masterson!Nicely. THERES THE STOCK ROOM BEHIND MCCLOSKEYS BAR Exit Harry.Harry. BUT MISSUS MCCLOSKEY AINT A GOOD SCOUT Nathan. Sky Masterson! There is the highest player of them all!Nathan. AND THINGS BEIN Nicely. Maybe you can borrow the thousand from Sky. HOW THEY ARE THE BACK OF THE POLICE STATION IS OUT Nathan. Not Sky. He doesn’t lend money. He bets money! So why dont I bet with him? Why don’t I bet a thousand with him on something?Nicely. SO THE BILTMORE GARAGE IS THE SPOT Nicely. You would bet with Sky Masterson?All. BUT THE ONE-THOUSAND BUCKS WE AINT GOT Nathan. I am not scared. I am perfectly willing to take the risk, providingCrapshooters. WHY ITS GOOD OLD RELIABLE NATHAN NATHAN NATHAN I can figure out a bet on which there is no chance of losing. Shut up! Here NATHAN DETROIT comes Adelaide. Go away! If she hears I am running the crap game she IF YOURE LOOKING FOR ACTION HELL FURNISH THE SPOT will never set eyes on me again. Go into Mindy’s bar and find out whether EVEN WHEN THE HEAT IS ON12 ITS NEVER TOO HOT yesterday she sold more strudel or more cheesecake! NOT FOR GOOD OLD RELIABLE NATHAN FOR ITS ALWAYS JUST A SHORT WALK Exit Nicely while enter Adelaide, carrying a small box.11) One thousand dollars. 13) Throwers.12) Pressure from the police. 10 11
Adelaide. Hello, Nathan dear. Nathan. The crap game! What an absurd thought!Nathan. Adelaide! Pigeon! (Embrace.) You still rehearsing? Enter Benny and Nicely.Adelaide. Yeah. That slave driver Charlie, hes been working us all day. Nicely. Psst! Nathan… more strudel…Finally I says “Look, Charlie, Im starving! Ive got to get out of here and Nathan turns to him.get something to eat” And he says “You dont want to eat. You just want tosneak out and meet that cheap bum, Nathan Detroit!” Nathan. Honey. Look, Adelaide. Im expecting a fellow, and I know youre hungry...Nathan (outraged). So what did you say to him? Adelaide. Nathan, are you trying to get rid of me?Adelaide (proudly). I told him. “Ill meet whoever I want!” Nathan! HappyAnniversary! Nathan. No, I just dont want you to faint because you are hungry. Fellows... She hands him the box. Adelaide is brought out by Nicely, he raises her up and exit. Nathan is alone. He paces a moment, peers off. Enter Sky Masterson.Nathan. A present? For me? Sky. Nathan! You old promoter, you! He begins to open it. Nathan. How are you, Sky? Going to be in town long?Adelaide. I hope you like it. Sky. Flying to Havana tomorrow. He looks inside. Nathan. Havana!Nathan. A belt! You are so sweet. Look, honey, about your present… I Sky. Yes, theres lots of action down there. Want to come with me?didnt get one. Im sorry. Nathan. No, I got a lot of things to... Tell me, you hungry? Maybe we couldAdelaide (gets in front of him, he puts his arms around her). No, I like it go into Mindys and have a piece of cheesecake or strudel or something?when you forget to give me presents. It makes me feel like were married. Sky. No. I think Ill go and get the late results.Nathan. Dont worry, honey; one of these days Ill be in the money, and Nathan. Offhand, which do you think he sells more of, the cheesecake or theyoull have more mink than a mink. strudel?Adelaide. Nathan darling, I can do without anything just so long as you Sky. Well, I never give it much thought. But if everybody is like I am, Id saydont start running the crap game again. Mindy sells much more cheesecake than strudel. 12 13
Nathan. For how much? Sky. I like to travel light, but if I wish to take a doll to Havana there is a large assortment available.Sky. Huh? The Mission Group is heard singing off stage.Nathan. I will bet you a thousand bucks that yesterday Mindy sold morestrudel than cheesecake. Mission Group. FOLLOW THE FOLD AND STRAY NO MORE STRAY NO MORE STRAY NO MORESky. What are you saying? Are you trying to do it to me? Do you really want tobet with me? PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE AND WELL SAY NO MORE FOLLOW FOLLOW THE FOLDNathan. You dont think that... Dialogue continues over music.Sky. However, if youre really looking for some action (crosses to Nathan,puts his hand across his chest hiding Nathans necktie) I will bet you the same Nathan. Not real high class dolls!thousand that you do not know the colour of the necktie you have on. (Wecan tell from Nathans expression that his entire life is passing before him as Sky. Any doll! You name her!he fails to remember the colour.) Well? Nathan. Any doll? And I name her? Will you bet on that? Will you betNathan (dismally). No bet. (Sky removes his hand. Nathan looks disgustedly a thousand dollars that if I name a doll you will take her to Havanaat the colour of his tie.) Blue. What a crazy colour. tomorrow?Nicely (entering). We took Adelaide to the drugstore, and she says for you tobe sure to pick her up after the show at the Hot Box and dont be late. Sky. You got a bet!Nathan. Yes, dear. I mean... yes. Enter the Mission Group, singing, headed by Sarah. She stops. Nathan points to Sarah.Sky. Yes, dear. That is husband talk. Nathan, you are trapped. In Adelaideyou have the kind of a girl that is most difficult to unload. Mission Group. FOLLOW THE FOLD AND STRAY NO MORE STRAY NO MORE STRAY NO MORENathan. I dont want to unload her. I love Adelaide. Well.... a doll is anecessity. Nathan. I name her!Sky. Nathan, I am not putting the rap on14 dolls. I just say, all dolls are the same.Nathan. Oh, yeah? SCENE 2Sky. Yeah! Save-a-Soul Mission. Sarah is in. Enter Sky Masterson. He assumes an air of repentance.Nathan. Then how come you havent got a doll? How come youre going toHavana alone without one? Sky. Do you take sinners here?14) Criticising. 14 15
Sarah. Indeed we do! (Sees him.) Didnt I see you a little while ago on its eight to five the othersll follow. (She is silent.) Why dont you let meBroadway? help you? Ill bet I can fill this place with sinners.Sky. Possibly. I have been wandering around, trying to get up the courage to Sarah. I don’t bet.come here. Sky. Ill make you a proposition. When is this big meeting of yours... Thursday?Sarah. Here are two of our pamphlets. They will give you a good deal of I will guarantee to fill that meeting with one dozen genuine sinners.comfort. Sarah. And whats my end of the bargain?Sky. Thank you. Sky. Have dinner with me.Sarah. And were holding a midnight prayer meeting on Thursday, which Imsure you will wish to attend. Sarah. Why do you want to have dinner with me?Sky. Im sure... Miss Sarah... Sky. I’m hungry… Here! Gives her marker, she takes it.Sarah. How do you know my name? Sarah. Whats this?Sky. Allow me to introduce myself: Sky Masterson. (She refuses to take hisoutstretched hand.) I hope you will not think I am getting out of line, but I Sky. Sky Mastersons marker for twelve sinners. If you dont think its good,think it is wonderful to see a pretty doll... ops, a nice-looking lady like you ask anybody in town. One dozen sinners. Ill pick you up at noon tomorrow,sacrificing herself for the sake of others. for dinner.Sarah. Here is another pamphlet that I think you should read. Sarah. At noon? Gives him pamphlet. Sky. Itll take us some time to get there.Sky. Thank you.... Of course I will need a lot of personal help from you. Sarah. To get where?Sarah. Ill be speaking at the Thursday prayer meeting. Sky. El Cafe Cubana, in Havana.Sky. I need private lessons. Why dont we have dinner or something? Sarah. Havana?Sarah. I think not. Tell me, Mr. Masterson, why are you here? Sky. Where else do you want to eat? Howard Johnsons? The plane gets us there in five hours and back the same night. And the food is great.Sky. I told you. I am a sinner. Sarah. Please go away.Sarah. Youre lying. Sarah. ILL KNOW WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONGSky. Well, lyings a sin... Look, Im a big sinner. If you get me, I WONT TAKE A CHANCE 16 17
FOR OH HELL BE JUST WHAT I NEED He stands confidently anticipating another clinch. NOT SOME FI.Y BY NIGHT15 BROADWAY ROMANCE She reaches him and hauls off and belts him one across the chops. Sky drops his hat. He reaches down and recovers it while rubbing his cheek.Sky. YOULL KNOW AT A GLANCE BY THE TWO PAIR OF PANTS Sky. Ill drop in again in case you want to take a crack at the other cheek. Sky turns and exits.Sarah. ILL KNOW BY THAT CALM STEADY VOICE THOSE FEET ON THE GROUND ILL KNOW AS I RUN TO HIS ARMS SCENE 3 THAT AT LAST IVE COME HOME SAFE AND SOUND AND TILL THEN I SHALL WAIT Hot Box. Enter dancing girls carrying rakes, hoes, pitchforks. Enter Adelaide, AND TILL THEN I’LL BE STRONG carrying basketful of ears of corn; she throws ears of corn to audience. FOR ILL KNOW WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONG Adelaide. I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECKSky. Would you like to hear how a gambler feels about the big heart throb? A BUSHEL AND A PECK AND A HUG AROUND THE NECK HUG AROUND THE NECK AND A BARREL AND ASarah. No! HEAP BARREL AND A HEAP AND IM TALKIN IN MY SLEEPSky. Well, Ill tell you... ABOUT YOUSky. ILL KNOW WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONG Dolls. ABOUT YOU ILL KNOW IN MY HEART ILL KNOW AND I WONT EVER ASK Adelaide. ABOUT YOU “AM I RIGHT? AM I WISE? AM I SMART?” BUT I’LL STOP AND ILL STARE AT THAT FACE IN Dolls. MY HEART IS LEAPIN HAVINTROUBLE SLEEPIN THE THRONG Adelaide. CAUSE I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK YOU YES ILL KNOW WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONG BET YOUR PRETTY NECK I DOSarah. ILL KNOW WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONG Adelaide/Dolls. DOODLE OODLE OODLE DOODLE OODLE OODLE DOODLE OODLE OODLE OO Sky puts his arms around her and kisses her tenderly. Then the releases her, picks up his hat and crosses to the door. Enter Nathan and waves to Adelaide. She yells “Here chick, chick, chick,” She stands, seemingly entranced, then she walks towards him, floating on air. throws an ear of corn to Nathan which he catches.15) Casual, one night. 18 19
Dolls. I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK Adelaide. Nathan darling, this is very interesting. The doctor gave it to me. I A BUSHEL AND A PECK THO IT BEATS ME ALL TO went to him about my cold. HECK Nathan. How is your cold?Adelaide. BEATS ME ALL TO HECK HOW ILL EVER TEND THE FARM EVER TEND THE Adelaide. Its the same. So the doctor said to read this book, because he said FARM it might be due to psychology. Nathan, (showing him box) what do you think WHEN I WANT TO KEEP I got in this box? MY ARMS ABOUT YOU Nathan (reading cover of box). “Sallys Wedding Shop.” I cant guess.Adelaide/Dolls. ABOUT YOU THE COWS AND CHICKENS ARE GOING TO THE DICKENS Adelaide. Its a wedding veil. Ive had it for three years. I wont show it to CAUSE I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK you, because its bad luck... Would you like to see it? YOU BET YOUR PRETTY NECK I DO Nathan. Its bad luck. Exit girls and Adelaide. Adelaide. So you see, Nathan darling, I got the veil. All we need now is our DOODLE ODDLE ODDLE license and our blood tests. DOODLE ODDLE ODDLE DOODLE ODDLE ODDLE OO GOODBYE NOW! Nathan. Our what? Nathan hums “A BUSHEL AND A PECK” to himself; Adelaide. Blood test. Its a law. throws ears of corn offstage. Nathan. What a city! First they close my crap game, then they open my veins.Nathan (singing). I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK... Adelaide. Nathan, youre not planning to run your crap game again?Enter Adelaide dressed in dressing gown, carrying a card board box with “Sallys Wedding Shop” printed on it, also a book. She rushes into Nathan’s arms. Nathan. Adelaide, how can you think such a thing! Why do you think I give up the crap game. Its because I love you, and I want us two to be theAdelaide. Hello, Nathan. happiest married couple that there is in the world. They embrace. Enter a friend of Adelaide and goes directly to Nathan, she is furious.Nathan. Hello, pie face. What have you got there? Friend. I was looking for you! Im all dated up tomorrow with my boyfriendAdelaide. A book. and he breaks it on account of your dopey crap game! Shame on you!Nathan. A book. Youre always reading books. Youre becoming a regular Exit the friend. Adelaide furiously crosses to Nathan. Nathan gets down on hisbookie. knees pleadingly with outstretched arms. 20 21
Nathan. Adelaide, look at me. Im down on my knees. (Adelaide sneezes.) IN OTHER WORDS JUST FROM WONDERING WHETHERLook, youre getting yourself upset.You and I are going to be all right, after THE WEDDING IS ON OR OFFall we love each other, and were going to get married. A PERSON CAN DEVELOP A COUGH WHEN THEY GET ON THE TRAIN FOR NIAGARAAdelaide. I dont believe you any more. AND SHE CAN HEAR CHURCH BELLS CHIMENathan. Youll feel better tomorrow; come on, cheer up, honey (he crosses THE COMPARTMENT IS AIR CONDITIONED ANDto her and chucks her under the chin.) Lets see that old smile (no response.)Thats my girl. See you tomorrow. THE MOOD SUBLIME THEN THEY GET OFF AT SARATOGA She sneezes. He rushes off. She opens book and reads. FOR THE FOURTEENTH TIMEAdelaide. It says here…(singing) A PERSON CAN DEVELOP LA GRIPPE THE AVERAGE UNMARRIED FEMALE BASICALLY LA GRIPPE INSECURE LA POST NASAL DRIP DUE TO SOME LONG FRUSTRATION MAY REACT WITH THE WHEEZES AND THE SNEEZES WITH PSYCHOSOMATIC SYMPTOMS DIFFICULT TO AND A SINUS THATS REALLY A PIP ENDURE FROM A LACK OF COMMUNITY PROPERTY AND A AFFECTING THE UPPER RESPIRATORY TRACT FEELING (Looks up from book) IN OTHER WORDS JUST FROM WAITING AROUND SHES GETTING TOO OLD FOR THAT PLAIN LITTLE BAND OF GOLD A PERSON CAN DEVELOP A BAD BAD COLD A PERSON CAN DEVELOP A COLD (Reads again) It says here. SCENE 4 THE FEMALE REMAINING SINGLE JUST IN THE LEGAL SENSE Enter the Mission Band. They are playing SHOWS A NEUROTIC TENDENCY SEE NOTE “Follow the Fold”. Agatha plays the bass drum and cymbals, Sarah has her NOTE tambourine. Sky is patiently following along behind. (Looks at note) Nicely sneaks on following Sky and notices the looks of annoyance that Sarah CHRONIC ORGANIC SYNDROMESTOXIC OR HYPERTENSE gives Sky. He looks after them as Harry follows on almost immediately. INVOLVING THE EYE THE EAR AND THE NOSE AND THROAT Nicely. WHEN YOU SEE A GUY REACH FOR STARS IN THE SKY (Looks up) YOU CAN BET THAT HES DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL 22 23
Harry. WHEN YOU SPOT A JOHN WAITING OUT IN THE RAIN SCENE 5 CHANCES ARE HES INSANE AS ONLY A JOHN CAN BE FOR A JANE Mission exterior. Enter the Mission Band, very discouraged and tired.Nicely. WHEN YOU MEET A GENT PAYING ALL KINDS OF Agatha. You spoke beautifully this morning, Sarah. RENT FOR A FLAT Sarah. No, I cant reach these people. I should never have volunteered for THAT COULD FLATTEN THE TAJ MAHAL this post ... Well, lets go in to lunch. (Enter general Cartwright, the head of the Save -a- Soul Mission. Sarah sees the General.) General Cartwright!Both. CALL IT SAD CALL IT FUNNY BUT ITS BETTER THAN EVEN MONEY THAT THE GUYS ONLY General. Good morning, Sarah, Agatha. DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL Agatha. Good morning, General.Harry. WHEN YOU SEE A SPORT AND HIS CASH HAS RUN SHORT Sarah. We didnt know you were coming to town, General. MAKE A BET THAT HES BANKING IT WITH SOME General. Sarah, theres something I want to talk to you about. We at DOLL headquarters have decided to close this branch of the Mission.Nicely. WHEN A GUY WEARS TAILS WITH THE FRONT Agatha. Close the Mission! GLEAMING WHITE WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK HES TICKLING PINK ON SATURDAY Sarah. General, please! Someone can do good here, even if I cant. NIGHT? Agatha. Weve announced a big meeting for tomorrow night.Harry. WHEN A LAZY SLOB TAKES A GOOD STEADY JOB General. But will anyone be here? AND HE SMELLS FROM VITALIS AND BARBASOL A seconds pause, then enter Sky with quiet dignity.Both. CALL IT DUMB CALL IT CLEVER AH BUT YOU CAN GIVE ODDS Sky. Pardon me, I couldnt help overhearing... General, my name is Sky FOREVER THAT THE GUYS ONLY DOING IT Masterson, former sinner. FOR SOME DOLL SOME DOLL SOME DOLL THE GUYS ONLY DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL! General. How do you do? 24 25
Sky. How do you do? I wish to protest the closing of this Mission. I believe Exclamations from the mob.Miss Sarah can be a big success here. Nicely. Ill tell you in a minute. (He crosses to him.) Nathan, is it all set? CanGeneral. I am glad to hear you say that, but Im not so certain. I tell the guys that its at the Biltmore Garage?Sky. A dollar will get you ten. Nathan. Not yet. I got to stall them for a while. Joey wants his dough16 first.General. What! Harry the Horse crosses to Nathan. Looks at Sarah. Harry. Nathan Detroit, if you do not have any place for your game, tell us, and we will seek elsewhere for entertainment.Sky. General, might I make a suggestion... Why dont you come to themeeting tomorrow night and find out for yourself ... Nathan. Now take it easy, Harry.General. Well, if I thought the Mission had a chance ... Enter Brannigan and crosses to the group. Brannigan. Well!... Well!... An interesting gathering indeed. The cream ofSarah. General, I personally guarantee you one dozen genuine sinners. Society... Nathan... Society Max... Harry... Nicely. (He walks up looking them over... goes down the line but nobody says anything.) Whats the occasion,General. Well, alleluiah! gentlemen?Sky. Hallelujah! Nathan. Well, we… er…Sarah (sceptically). Hallelujah! Nicely. It’s a party. Brannigan. Indeed! What kind of a party? SCENE 6 At this moment Adelaide backs onto the stage. Street off Broadway. Enter the crap shooters. She is waving at some girls.Nathan. You all got your carnations? Adelaide. Goodbye, girls, see you tomorrow.All. Yes! Nicely sees her and immediately gets his idea, he grabs Adelaide by the waist and leads her over to Brannigan.Nicely. Remember, no one will be let in to the game without they got redcarnations. Its like a password. Nicely. Its a bachelor dinner. Nathans getting married.Harry. Okay, but wheres the game? Adelaide. What! 16) Money. 26 27
Harry (grabbing Nathan and leading him forcible to Adelaide and placing his Brannigan. You could drive down to Maryland... Theyll marry you rightarms around Adelaide. Nathan is obviously taken by surprise and shows it). away. They dont even ask you for a blood test.That is correct, Lieutenant! Its a bachelor dinner. Nathans getting married. Nathan. Isnt that unhealthy?Nicely. Yes, sir! (Sings.) FOR Adelaide (throws her arms around his neck). Oh, Nathan, lets do it. All sing. Nathan (long pause ... sighs). Well... what the heck... FOR HES A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW They embrace. All congratulate him. FOR HES A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW FOR HES A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW Brannigan. My congratulations too, Nathan.Harry (step down centre). Which nobody cannot deny. Exit Brannigan. Adelaide. Oh, Nathan, Im so happy. I will wait for you at the Hot Box Slaps Nathan on back, almost upsetting him. tomorrow night. Nathan takes Adelaide aside. Exit Adelaide.Adelaide. Nathan darling, Im so thrilled. Why didnt you tell me? Nicely. Nathan, you are indeed a lucky fellow. A most beautiful doll indeed.Nathan. It was a surprise. But now youd better find a place…Adelaide. But when I saw you standing here with all these fine gentlemen, I Nathan. How can I? The money from Sky aint come yet.never dreamed it was a bachelor dinner. I thought it was a... Nicely. Maybe it wont come! Maybe he took the doll to Havana.Nathan (suddenly jumping in). Oh, its a bachelor dinner. Yes, sir! A Nathan. He couldnt have! How could he? She couldnt have gone!bachelor dinner.Adelaide. Just think after fourteen years Im finally going to become Mrs. SCENE 7 ANathan Detroit. Time certainly does fly. Enter the airline hostess to take safety demostration in a "salsa/latin" style.Brannigan. Tell me, Nathan. When is the happy day?Adelaide. When will it be, Nathan? SCENE 7 B Havana, Cuba. A dive. Sarah sips a drink as does Sky.Nathan. Well... Sarah. These are delicious. What did you call them?Brannigan. Nathan, these good fellows are nice enough to give you abachelor dinner. You should at least tell them the wedding date. Sky. Dulce de Leche. Its spanish for “milk shake”.Nathan. Well, we need time for a license... Sarah. Dulce de Leche. Whats in it besides milk? 28 29
Sky. Oh, sugar, and a sort of native flavouring. IF I WERE A BRIDGE ID BE BURNING ASK ME HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS WHOLE BEAUTIFUL THINGSarah. Whats the name of the flavouring? WELL IF I WERE A BELL ID GO DING DONG DING DONG DINGSky. Bacardi. She falls into his arms at end of number.Sarah. Doesn’t Bacardi have alcohol in it? Sky (takes a moment). I think wed better hurry if we want to catch the plane back to New York.Sky. What are you saying! It is only a preservative. Sarah. I dont want to go back to New York.Sarah (shouting). Two more Dulce de Leches! Sky. Look, a doll like you shouldnt be mixed up with a guy like me. Its no good. Im no good. (Sarah puts arms around him: he pushes her away.) You know why I tookSarah swoons and falls into Sky’s arms. She kisses him. She staggers after kiss. you to Havana? I made a bet! Thats how you met me in the first place. I made a bet. Sarah. Oh, you talk just like a Missionary.Sky. Are you all right? Exit all.Sarah (happily). Am I all right? Ask me how do I feel... SCENE 8 A Arms around him; sings. Enter the air hostess for American Airlines to take a safety demostration in a ASK ME NOW THAT WERE COSY AND CLINGING bored fashion, a complete contrast to the fun style previously seen. WELL SIR ALL I CAN SAY IS IF I WERE A BELL ID BE RINGING SCENE 8 B FROM THE MOMENT WE KISSED TONIGHT THATS THE WAY IVE JUST GOT TO BEHAVE Mission exterior. Enter Sarah minus her uniform coat and hat. BOY IF I WERE A LAMP ID LIGHT She is in a very pensive mood. Sky follows on almost behind her also AND IF I WERE A BANNER ID WAVE in a very thoughtful mood. He is hatless. ASK ME HOW DO I FEEL Sarah. What time is it? LITTLE ME WITH MY QUIET UPBRINGING WELL SIR ALL I CAN SAY IS Sky. I dont know. Four oclock. IF I WERE A GATE ILL BE SWINGING AND IF I WERE A WATCH ID START POPPING MY SPRING Sarah. Ive never been up this late before. OR IF I WERE A BELL ID GO Sky. How do you like it? DING DONG DING DONG DING ASK ME HOW I FEEL Sarah. Its so peaceful, and wonderful. FROM THIS CHEMISTRY LESSON IM LEARNING WELL SIR ALL I CAN SAY IS Sky. You’re finding out something I’ve known for quite a while. (Pause.) Obediah! 30 31
Sarah. Obediah? What’s that? A guy dashes up at top speed. He runs across to the Mission entrance, sticks his head in the door and lets go with a loud piercing whistle, the finger-in-Sky. Obediah Masterson, that’s my real name. You’re the first person I’ve mouth type, as the Missionaries and Sky react with surprise.ever told it to. Sky. What the heck is this? Whats going on inside the Mission? Sarah goes into Sky’s arms and they embrace. Nicely and Nathan come hurrying out of the Mission door.Sky. IVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE NOW The lookout whistles at them and motions for them to go the other way. ALL AT ONCE ITS YOU As they stop and turn, the other crap shooters emerge. Exit all. ITS YOU FOREVER MORE As Nathan goes by Sky grabs him but Nathan doesnt stop, he exits. IVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE I THOUGHT MY HEART WAS SAFE Sky. Nathan! What is this? I THOUGHT I KNEW THE SCORE Nicely (yelling to Nathan as he is running off). Wait a minute! Im losing tenSarah. BUT THIS IS WINE THATS ALL TOO STRANGE AND Gs.17 STRONG IM FULL OF FOOLISH SONG AND OUT MY SONG Nicely runs off. The sound of the patrol bell has reached close up presence. MUST POUR As the bell stops clanging, Brannigan and two cops rush on stage. Brannigan stops short and realizes they have escaped him.Both. SO PLEASE FORGIVE THIS HELPLESS HAZE IM IN IVE REALLY NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE Brannigan (to the two cops). Someone must have tipped them off. (The two cops rush off. Brannigan crosses and stops; turns to Sarah.) I seen a lot of They kiss at the end of the song. Enter Agatha carrying her drum. strange things in my time but this is the first time I ever see a floating crapThey are obviously very tired from being out all night trying to convert sinners. game going full blast in a Mission. Sarah sees Agatha as she enters, she goes to her. Brannigan runs off.Sarah. Agatha! I thought youd be asleep. Sarah (stunned). Crap game!Agatha. We stayed out all night. And guess what? Sky. Sarah, you know I had nothing to do with this, dont you? (Sarah walksSky. The streets were full of sinners. slowly toward the Mission entrance.) Sarah...Agatha. Exactly! It was wonderful! Sarah stops. 17) Ten thousand dollars. 32 33
Sarah. This wouldnt have happened if I hadnt... (she turns to him.) I never Nicely rushes out.should have gone with you. It was wrong. Adelaide (looking at Nicely). What? I dont understand. Sky, Nathan has toSky. No, it wasnt. You went to help the Mission. come here tonight. Were eloping to get married. Is it the crap game again?Sarah (dully). Did I? Sky. You know Nathan. Why does it surprise you?Sky (looks at her a moment). Will I see you tomorrow? Adelaide. But he promised to change.Sarah. Everyone is welcome at the Mission. Sky. Change, change. Why is it the minute you dolls get a guy that you like, you take him right in for alterations?Sky. Thats not what I mean. Adelaide. What about you men? Why cant you marry people like other peopleSarah. It’s no good, Sky. You said it yourself, it’s no good. do and live normal like people? Have a home, with wallpaper, and book ends.Sky. Why not? Sky. Guys like Nathan Detroit, and yeah, Sky Masterson, we dont belongSarah. Because I’m a Mission doll. to a life like that. So when dolls get mixed up with guys like us, its no good. (He gets to his feet.) I’ll leave town tonight. See you in a couple of months. Exit Sarah, going into the Mission. Adelaide. Will you see Nathan before you go? SCENE 9 Sky. Maybe. Hot Box. Enter Sky. Adelaide. Tell him I never want to talk to him again and have him call me here. He is unshaven again, and a bit crumpled. He holds a drink. He drifts over to the empty table and sits. Enter Nicely a bit furtively. Sneezes and sniffles. He sits at table with Sky. Sky. Why dont you get another guy?Nicely. Sky, did you see Miss Adelaide? Adelaide. Wait till you fall for somebody! Youll find out.Sky. Huh? Sky (looks at her a second). Yeah.Nicely. I bring a message for her from Nathan. Exit Sky.Sky. Here she is… Adelaide (sniffles and then sings: sitting).Nicely. Oh! (Speaking fast.) Miss Adelaide, I’ve got a message for you IN OTHER WORDS JUST FROM SITTING ALONE ATfrom Nathan: he is in Pittsburgh with his aunt, she has suddenly become ill. A TABLE RESERVED FOR TWOGoodbye. A PERSON CAN DEVELOP THE FLU 34 35
YOU CAN BUNDLE HER UP IN HER WOOLIES Agatha. I knew that the minute he started picking on you. But I didnt know AND I MEAN THE WARMEST BRAND you were going to get stuck on him. YOU CAN WRAP HER IN SWEATERS AND COATS TIL ITS MORE THAN HER FRAME CAN STAND Sarah. The man I love will not be a gambler. IF SHE STILL GETS THE FEELING SHES NAKED FROM LOOKING AT HER LEFT HAND Enter Sky with Nicely. A PERSON CAN DEVELOP THE FLU Sky. Good evening, Miss Sarah. Brother Abernathy, how goes it with the HUH! THE FLU! A HUNDRED AND THREE POINT TWO soul-saving? Tonights the big meeting, isnt it? SO MUCH VIRUS INSIDE THAT HER MICROSCOPE SLIDE LOOKS LIKE A Agatha. Its supposed to be. The General is coming. DAY AT THE ZOO JUST FROM WANTING HER MEMORIES IN WRITING Sarah. Agatha. Weve got to hurry. AND A STORY HER FOLKS CAN BE TOLD A PERSON CAN DEVELOP A COLD Agatha picks up drum. She sneezes. Sky. Miss Sarah. (She stops.) Youve forgotten something, but being a gambler, I never forget things like this. You hold my marker for twelve sinners tonight. SCENE 10 Sarah. Mr. Masterson, last night the Mission was filled with your friends. Let Street exterior. Enter Sarah at a brisk pace, us say were even. Agatha is following her carrying her bass drum and having quite a time keeping up with Sarah. Puts drum down. Sarah stops.Sarah. I just want to get away from this whole place. To go some place SCENE 11where… where… Crap game in the sewer. All the crap shooters move downstage, putting theirAgatha. Where the sinners are all respectable and well behaved? coats on and some are putting ties on. They all wear red carnations. Most of them are getting ready to leave the game.Sarah. You saw what happened last night. They gambled in our Mission. Big Jule. Wait a minute. Where you all going? I came here to shoot crap.Agatha. And some day theyll be praying there. Even a man like SkyMasterson. He came seeking refuge. Player. We had enough.Sarah. He came seeking me. Did you know that? Another Player. Lets go home. 36 37
Nathan. You see, Big Jule, the boys are slightly fatigued from weariness, Everyone looks very uncomfortable.having been shooting crap for quite a while now, namely twenty four hours. Nicely. I dont want to waste no evening in a Hallelujah joint.Big Jule. I do not care who is tired. I am out twenty-five Gs. So nobodyleaves. Sky. I guarantee you the air in the Mission smells cleaner than down here. And maybe it would not hurt you guys to learn something else besides the He moves to Nathan and pats his shoulder revolver threateningly. odds on making a four the hard way. (They only mumble with beads hung.)Nathan (looks at his watch). I just remembered. Im eloping tonight. Well, I tried... See you around, Nathan.Adelaide is waiting for me. Nathan. Okay, Sky... About that Havana business, I regret I temporarily do Nathan starts to exit. Big Jule grabs him and pulls him back. not have the one thousand to pay you.Big Jule. Pull out two thousand bucks. Sky. You dont have to pay me. (Pulls out a banknote.) You won. Enter Nicely and Sky. Nathan. But I thought you took Miss Sarah to Havana.Sky. Good evening, gentlemen. Sky. You thought wrong.Big Jule (crosses to Sky). Well, fresh blood. Are you looking for some action? Giving money to Nathan and starts to exit.Sky. Not at the moment. I would like to talk to some of you guys. Nathan. Come on, Big Jule, get up. I have now got dough to roll you again.Big Jule. We arent talking. Were shooting crap. But with my dice.Sky (quietly). I am asking for only one minute. (To others.) It has to do withMiss Sarah Browns Mission. Nicely. Nothing doing. With your dice he cannot make a pass to save his soul.Big Jule. Say, who is this guy? Sky (stops dead). Whatd you say?Nicely. Its the nice fellow I was telling you about, he took the Mission doll to Havana. Nicely (belligerently). I says with those dice he cannot make a pass to save his soul.Big Jule. Look, fellow, youre slowing up the action around here. Sky (slowly as he returns to them). Well, maybe I can make a pass to save Sky hits Big Jule, who falls down stunned. his... (pointing to one, then another.) And yours!... And yours... and his...Sky (addressing the group). Look, you guys. (Crosses to Nathan.) Tonight in (from the group: “Huh? What are you talking about?”) I will bet each of youMiss Sarah Browns Mission at 409 West 49th Street they are holding a midnight a thousand dollars against your souls. One thousand cash against a markerprayer meeting. I promised I would deliver to them some sinners, and when it for your souls. (Big Jule rises.) If I win, you guys all show up at the Missioncomes to sinning most of you guys are high up among the paint cards. tonight. (There is a buzz of interest.) Okay? One meeting. 38 39
Nicely (thinks a minute). Okay by me. Crapshooters. HOW NICE A DAME YOU CAN BEPlayer (taking the lead). By me too. Sky. I KNOW THE WAY YOU’VE TREATED THE OTHER GUYS YOU’VE BEEN WITHSky. You too, Nathan. A thousand dollars against your soul. LUCK BE A LADY WITH MENathan. Me? I dont even know if I got one. Crapshooters. LUCK BE A LADY A LADY, BE A LADY WITH ME A LADY WOULDNT FLIRT WITH STRANGERSSky. You got one some place. Give me the dice. (Nathan hands him dice; SHE’D HAVE A HEART SHE’D HAVE A SOULsome men squat down.) And give me room. Ive got a little more than doughriding on this one. Sky. A LADY WOULDN’T MAKE LITTLE SNAKE EYES AT MESky. THEY CALL YOU LADY LUCK WHEN I’VE BET MY LIFE ON THIS ROLL BUT THERE IS ROOM FOR DOUBT AT TIMES YOU HAVE A VERY UNLADYLIKE WAY Crapshooters. ROLL `EM ROLL `EM ROLL EM OF RUNNING OUT YOURE ON THIS DATE WITH ROLL WILL YA, SNAKE EYES ME THE PICKINGS HAVE BEEN LUSH AND YET ROLL `EM ROLL `EM ROLL EM BEFORE THIS EVENING IS OVER Sky. SO LETS KEEP THE PARTY POLITE YOU MIGHT GIVE ME THE BRUSH YOU MIGHT FORGET YOUR MANNERS YOU Crapshooters. SO LETS KEEP THE PARTY POLITE MIGHT REFUSE TO STAY AND SO THE BEST THAT I CAN DO IS PRAY Sky. NEVER GET OUT OF MY SIGHT LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT Crapshooters. NEVER GET OUT OF MY SIGHT LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT LUCK IF YOUVE EVER BEEN A LADY TO BEGIN Sky. STICK WITH ME BABY WITH IM THE FELLOW YOU CAME IN WITH LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT LUCK BE A LADY LUCK LET A GENTLEMAN SEE Crapshooters. STICK HERE BABY STICK HERE BABYCrapshooters. LUCK LET A GENTLEMAN SEE LUCK BE A LADYSky. HOW NICE A DAME YOU CAN BE Sky. LUCK BE A LADY 40 41
Crapshooters. LUCK BE A LADY SCENE 13Sky. LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT Interior of Mission.Crapshooters. ROLL `EM ROLL `EM ROLL EM ROLL WILL YA ROLL WILL YA General. It is now several minutes past midnight. Isnt anyone coming? WHATS THE MATTER? (They all sit glumly.) Sergeant Sarah, something is very wrong. ROLL THE DICE! COMIN OUT COMIN OUT COMIN OUT Sarah (rises). General, I know whats wrong. Im wrong. Ive failed. Ive COMIN OUT RIGHT spoken to these people day after day, but my words havent reached them...Sky. HA! I think you had better... Enter mugs. Sarah turns to them as they enter. SCENE 12 General. Welcome, brothers. Welcome. A street off Broadway. Enter Adelaide from one direction, Nathan from another. Nathan sees her first. A few little grunts from the boys then enter Sky.Nathan. Adelaide! Sky. Everybody here? Wheres Nathan Detroit?Adelaide. Oh! What a coincidence! Enter Nathan.Nathan. Adelaide, did Nicely explain to you about tonight? I hope youarent sore about it? Nathan. Present. Tries to embrace her. She pulls away. Sky. Miss Sarah, here you are. One dozen or more assorted sinners. Sorry weAdelaide (in measured tones). Nathan, why cant we elope now? didnt have time to clean them up. (They shuffle their feet a little.) Sit down! All of you! And this is a Mission, not Roseland, so I suggest that you do notNathan. Because, well, I got to go to a prayer meeting. indulge in any unpleasantness. Since I am required to depart for the WestAdelaide (this one really bits her). Nathan. This is the biggest lie you ever tonight I am appointing Nathan Detroit major domo in my place. Nathan,told me! anybody who does not conduct himself according to Hoyle will answer to Sky Masterson personally. Adelaide turns and begins to exit.Nathan. But I promise you its true. Adelaide! Sky gives them a final glance, then exits. Exit Nathan. General (from the silence). What a remarkable young man! 42 43
Sarah looks at her but says nothing. Sarah (a small voice). Thank you.Sarah (rises). Gentlemen, we are honoured tonight. The meeting will be General. Anybody else?conducted by the head of our organization, General Cartwright. Nathan. Brother Nicely, Nicely Johnson. (Nicely stays sat refusing to get up. She sits. Nathan starts the applause. Nathan pulls him up.) Brother Nicely, Nicely Johnson.General (rises). It is wonderful to see our Mission graced by the presence of Nicely. I DREAMED LAST NIGHT I GOT ON A BOAT TOso many evil-looking sinners. (Nathan starts to applaud, but realises he may HEAVENbe wrong.) Now, who would like to start the ball rolling by giving testimony? AND BY SOME CHANCE I HAD BROUGHT MY DICE ALONG They are silent and hang their heads. AND THERE I STOOD AND I HOLLERED “SOMEONE SAVE ME”Nathan. Men, give your testimonies! BUT THE PASSENGERS THEY KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG FOR THE PEOPLE ALL SAID SIT DOWNGeneral. Come, brothers, I know it is difficult. But let one of you give SIT DOWNtestimony to the sin that is in his heart. Anyone. YOURE ROCKINTHE BOATNathan. Max! Nicely/Ensemble. PEOPLE ALL SAID SIT DOWN SIT DOWN YOURE ROCKINTHE BOATMax. Oh no! Nicely. AND THE DEVIL WILL DRAG YOU UNDERNathan (louder this time). Society Max! BY THE SHARP LAPEL OF YOUR CHECKERED COAT SIT DOWN SIT DOWN SIT DOWN SIT DOWNMax (getting reluctantly to his feet). Ah, well, like when Sky was rolling us forour souls. Ensemble. SIT DOWN YOURE ROCKINTHE BOATGeneral. I beg your pardon? Nicely. AND AS I LAUGHED AT THOSE PASSENGERS TO HEAVENMax. Sky Masterson. He rolled us a thousand dollars against our souls.Thats why were here. Laughs, then gasps.General. I dont think I understand. A GREAT BIG WAVE CAME AND WASHED ME OVERBOARDSarah. I do, General. He means that they are only here because Mr.Masterson won them in a dice game. Ensemble. MMMGeneral. How wonderful! This whole meeting the result of gambling. It Nicely. AND AS I SANKshows how good can come out of evil. Sergeant Sarah, you have doneremarkable work. Ensemble OOO 44 45
Nicely. AND I HOLLERED “SOMEONE SAVE ME” Ensemble. ROCKINTHE BOAT SIT DOWN YOURE ROCKINYOUREEnsemble. OOO Nicely/Ensemble (ending).Nicely. THAT `S THE MOMENT I WOKE UP SIT DOWN SIT DOWN SIT DOWN YOURE ROCKINTHE BOATEnsemble. OOO They all sit. Enter Brannigan.Nicely. THANK THE LORD Nathan. Anything we can do for you, Brother Brannigan? Maybe you would care to testify some sing? Mission Band rises. Brannigan. Ill do my testifying in court, where I will testify that you ranEnsemble. THANK THE LORD THANK THE LORD. a crap game here in this Mission last night. Miss Sarah, you were standing there when they came out. You saw them. Arent these the fellows?Nicely. AND I SAID TO MYSELF SIT DOWN SIT DOWN YOURE ROCKINTHE BOAT Sarah (slowly looks at them; takes her time). I never saw them before in my life. Now if you would excuse me, officer, we would like to go on with our meeting.Ensemble. SAID TO HIMSELF SIT DOWN SIT DOWN Exit Brannigan in a bad mood.Nicely. SAID TO MYSELF SIT DOWN SIT DOWN Nathan. Thank you, Miss Sarah... people I also have a confession to make, YOURE ROCKING THE BOAT and I got to get it off my chest. We did shoot crap here last night and were all sorry. Arent we, boys? Mission Band sits. He turns to the mob. They mumble assents: hanging of heads.Ensemble. SAID TO HIMSELF SIT DOWN Nathan (turning to Sarah). But I did another terrible thing. I made a bet withNicely. AND THE DEVIL WILL DRAG YOU UNDER a certain guy that he could not take a certain doll away with him on a trip, and this I should not have done, although it did not do any harm, as I won the bet.Ensemble. AND THE DEVIL WILL DRAG YOU UNDER Sarah. You won the bet?Nicely. WITH A SOUL SO HEAVY YOUD NEVER FLOAT SIT DOWN SIT DOWN SIT DOWN Nathan. Sure. The guy told me that he didnt take the doll. Well, that makes me feel a lot better.Ensemble. SIT DOWN SIT DOWN General (rises). Hallelujah!Nicely. SIT DOWN Nathan. Hallelujah!Ensemble. SIT DOWN SIT DOWN Sits. The mob all shout "Hallelujah”.Nicely. YOURE ROCKINTHE BOAT Sarah (quietly). Hallelujah. They all rise. General. Gentlemen, we will now sing No. 244. “Follow the Fold.” 46 47
Ensemble. FOLLOW THE FOLD AND STRAY NO MORE Sarah. A little while ago at our prayer meeting there were a lot of gamblers STRAY NO MORE STRAY NO MORE who acted as though maybe they could change. PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE AND WELL SAY NO MORE FOLLOW FOLLOW THE FOLD Adelaide. Gamblers at your prayer meeting... Was Nathan Detroit there? Sarah. Im sure I heard that name. I think so. SCENE 14 Two girls look at each other for a moment. Night. Street off Broadway. Enter Adelaide and Sarah and stand, looking Adelaide. WHY NOT? agitated. Eventually, Adelaide notices Sarah. Sarah. WHY NOT WHAT?Adelaide. Oh, hello. Adelaide. MARRY THE MAN TODAYSarah (uncertainly). Good evening. TROUBLE THOUGH HE MAY BE MUCH AS HE LIKES TO PLAY CRAZY AND WILD AND FREEAdelaide. Im Adelaide, Nathan’s fiancée. Sarah/Adelaide. MARRY THE MAN TODAYSarah. Oh, yes. When are you getting married? RATHER THAN SIGH AND SORROWAdelaide. The twelfth of never. Adelaide. MARRY THE MAN TODAY AND CHANGE HIS WAYS TOMORROWSarah. Oh, Im sorry. But try to be forgiving and understanding, and the painwill go away. In the Bible it tells us… Sarah. CAREFULLY EXPOSE HIM TO DOMESTIC LIFE AND IF HE EVER TRIES TO STRAY FROM YOU The thought is too much, for her she cannot go ahead, she cries. HAVE A POT ROAST Adelaide. HAVE A HEADACHE (Hand to head.) AND CHANGEAdelaide. Is it because of a boy, huh? HIS WAYS AND CHANGE HIS WAYS AND CHANGE HIS WAYS AND CHANGE HIS WAYS AND CHANGE Sarah gestures helplessly. HIS WAYS TOMORROWSarah (low-voiced). I thought I hated him. Exit Adelaide and Sarah in different directions.Adelaide. I thought I hated Nathan. I still think I hate him. Thats love. Sarah. HAVE A BABYSarah. Adelaide, cant men like Sky ever change? Adelaide. HAVE TWOAdelaide (shakes her head). For fourteen years Ive tried to change Nathan. Sarah. SIXIve always thought how wonderful he would be, if he was different. But theyjust cant change. Adelaide. NINE 48 49
Sarah. STOP! Sky (starting the pitch). Brothers and Sisters! Life is one big crap game, and the Devil is using loaded dice!Both. MARRY THE MAN TODAY RATHER THAN SIGH AND SORROW Nathan (hits drum with cane). Brother Masterson? MARRY THE MAN TODAY Sky. Yes, Brother Detroit? They shake hands. Nathan. Can we get married in your Mission Adelaide and I? SCENE 15 Sky looks at Sarah, who looks at the General. The street, Broadway. All the mugs march on. General. Certainly, I married Brother Masterson and Sister Sarah. Glad to They have been cleaned up, and each one is wearing a big white gardenia. do the same for you. Nicely accompanies Adelaide on to the stage. She wears a wedding veil and carries a bouquet in her hands. She is very nervous. Sky. Congratulations, Nathan! Ill lay you eight to five youll be very happy.Adelaide (screaming). Nathan! Darling, come on, were waiting for you! Sarah. What Obediah means is... Enter Nathan, sheepishly, wearing a top hat and carrying a cane. Nathan. Obediah?Nicely. Let’s go. Where’s the wedding? Sarah. He wishes you every happiness and so do I.Nathan. Holy smoke! Adelaide. Thank you very much... I know were going to be happy. Were going to have a little place in the country, and Nathan will be sitting there,Adelaide. What’s the matter? beside me, every single night.Nathan. I didn’t get a place for the wedding! Comes an enormous sneeze from Nathan. Then her expression changes as she realizes its implications. Reprise of “Guys and Dolls”. Curtain.Adelaide. Oh, Nathan! All sing.Nicely. How about the Biltmore Garage? WHEN YOU SEE A GUY REACH FOR STARS IN THE SKY YOUEnter the Mission Band playing... Sky Masterson is a member and wears uniform. CAN BET THAT HES DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL WHEN YOU He is ripping out follow the fold with the rest of them, swinging his big SPOT A JOHN WAITING OUT IN THE RAIN CHANCES ARE HES drum stick lustily. Sarah plays tambourine. The General follows. INSANE AS ONLY A JOHN CAN BE FOR A JANE 50 51
WHEN YOU MEET A GENT PAYING ALL KINDS OF RENT FOR A FLAT THAT COULD FLATTEN THE TAJ MAHALCALL IT SAD CALL IT FUNNY, BUT ITS BETTER THAN EVENMONEY THAT THE GUYS ONLY DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL SOME DOLL SOME DOLL THE GUYS ONLY DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL THE END 52 53
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