Negotiation Skills and Conflict Handling

Negotiation Skills & Conflict Handling by Ziaur Rahman CEO, IITM www.iitmbd.org Email: infoiitm@yahoo.com

Negotiation
A process where mandated representatives
meet in order to resolve their differences
and reach agreement. The outcome is often
dependent on the power relationship
between the groups.

Types of negotiations
1. Positional Negotiation
2. Interest Based Negotiation
3. Competitive Negotiation
4. Co-operative Negotiation
5. Principled Negotiation

Barriers to negotiation
1. Poor communication skills
2. Overreacting & emotional responses
3. Misunderstandings
4. Conditioned or learned responses
5. Relationship dynamics

Rules for negotiation
1. Be strategic and deliberate with words
2. Be willing to prepare & prepare well
3. Have high expectations
4. Be patient in listening
5. Maintain your integrity

Negotiation essentials
Communicate
No clear lines of communication = no negotiation.
“ problems" fall into three categories:
- perception,
- emotion, and
- communication.
"Facts, even if established, may do nothing to
solve the problem."

Co-operate
Be cooperative, but don't let your guard down.
Statistics show that cooperative negotiators are more effective than competitive negotiators.
However, in positional bargaining, a hard
game dominates a soft one.

Listen
THE POWER IS IN LISTENING
• Ask questions, test for understanding,
summarize, and listen, listen, listen…...
• Get more by finding out what others wants than
by clever arguments for what you need.
• The cheapest concession you can make is to let
others know they have been heard.

Some Negotiating lessons are tough to take...

Negotiation winners
1. Have a Game Plan
2. Focus on Your Goals
3. Identify the Issues
4. Have Powerful Justifications
5. Evaluate, Evaluate, Evaluate
6. Pay Attention to Closure

Negotiation gems
Apply Power Negotiation
Leverage
Remember The Game Plan

"The truly gifted negotiator, then, is one
whose initial position is exaggerated enough
to allow for a series of concessions that will
yield a desirable final offer from the
opponent, yet is not so outlandish as to be
seen as illegitimate from the start."
Gifted Negotiator

The Pre-Negotiation Planning Phase
Decide if Subject Matter Expert involvement required
Research options/issues and precedence's
Understand the motivators of affected stakeholders
Know impact of each option (time, cost, quality, scope)
Risk/opportunity assessments
Timing issues (urgency, best time to meet, etc)
Summarize pros and cons

The Pre-Negotiation Planning Phase
Cultural considerations (people and Enterprise)
Formulate strategy based on knowledge of the stakeholders
Pre-meeting info dissemination
Invite appropriate empowered representatives
Set conducive agenda, facilities, timeslot, and
refreshments
Plan for timely post negotiation action
Plan for analysis of “lessons learned” after
negotiating

Understanding Key Motivators
Think back to the last time you were blindsided by an unexpected motivator. What was it?
Typical tangible motivators:
Fiscal impacts (Enterprise & for their own or department)
Workload/Overtime/training/vacation impact
Contractual/Organizational issues, etc
Less Tangible :
Desire to be heard and have their needs acknowledged
Desire to save face/look good in the eyes of others
Resistance to change (fear of unknown/untried)
Desire to satisfy their own or bosses hidden agenda
Biases, dislikes, ethnic customs, political alliances, etc
Emotional (and why should they trust you?)
TIP: Learn to read body language

Handling Emotions
Emotional
Challenges
Anger/exasperation
Insulted
Guilt
False flattery
Recommended
Response
Allow venting. Probe for why
What wouldn’t be insulting?
Focus on issues
Re-focus
Tips :
Don’t lose your cool (remember the swan!).
Try to defuse with acknowledgement, empathy, patience, impartiality.
Consider dealing with less emotional issues first
Know your own “Hot Buttons”
Practice (consider Toastmasters, etc)

Negotiating around Fixed Positions Probe for the beliefs and goals behind the fixed position. Example of a fixed position: “ I will not agree to outsource, regardless of savings” Surface goal: “Not to be burned the way we were 5 years ago” Underlying belief: “Work is controllable if we do it in-house” Underlying goals: To have control, stability, minimum risk, and not have to lay-off anyone . Underlying realities: Managing this work in-house is a costly pain, and not our core skill. These people can be redeployed on urgent backlog. Now you have the basis for analysis of alternatives, risks, contingencies, develop pros and cons, then negotiate!

Practice Win-Win Negotiations
Establish rapport and common goals
Probe for understanding of beliefs, goals, win-win options, and hidden stakeholder motivators
Paraphrase for confirmation/affirmation
Analyse outcomes and risks
Summarize what was agreed on, and next steps (even if these are only “baby steps”)
Tips:
If stalled, back up to a fundamental that you can agree on (e.g. “We both want to make this a profitable venture”)
Build on this common ground (recycle if necessary)
Avoid emotional responses (even if insulted)
Consider interim options (or postponement) if undesirable outcome is imminent or key information is missing.

Objectives for this Session
Contrast conventional negotiation techniques with the interest-based approach to negotiation
Examine key concepts including: positions, interests, principles, BATNA
Practice negotiation skills
Examine the role of culture in negotiations

Everyone Negotiates
Buying a car, house or other object for which the price may not be fixed
Establishing a salary, workplace tasks, office conditions, etc.
Organizing team tasks or priorities
Allocating household tasks
Deciding how to spend a free evening

Conventional Negotiations
Focus on winning
Assert positions/personal preferences
Concede stubbornly
Seek compromises based on arbitrary divisions (e.g. split the difference)
Engage in threats, bluffs or other negotiation tactics

Conventional Negotiation Tactics
Good cop/bad cop
Highball/lowball
Bluff
Threats
Nibble
Appeals to ‘reason’

Exercise 1 ( To be participated in a group of three) Roles . Zerin, a 15 year old girl – Participant 1 Father – Participant 2, Mother – Participant 3 Background : Zerin (19 years) lived in Chittagong. Zerin is calling home from her mobile to tell her parents that she is hitch-hiking to Dallywood to be a movie star. She has taken only 2,000 takas with her. She sounds convincing that she is doing the right thing but you as her parents feel differently. Please act out your roles and try to Negotiate from your position. Please let the audience know what position you would like to take. The entire conversation is for a maximum of 5 minutes. Focus on a “win-win” approach before Zerin disconnects.

Which way is the window facing?

An Alternative: Interest-Based Negotiations*
Separate the people from the problem
Focus on interests, not positions
Invent options for mutual gain
Insist on objective criteria
*Roger Fisher & William Ury. 1991. Getting to Yes . 2 nd ed. New York: Penguin.

Principle 1: Separate the People from the Problem
Disentangle the people from the problem
Deal with the people problem: acknowledge perceptions, emotions
Listen actively
Speak to be understood
Speak about yourself, not them

Principle 2: Focus on Interests, Not Positions
Positions : What disputants say they want in a negotiation: a particular price, job, work schedule, change in someone else’s behavior, revised contract provision, etc.
Interests : Underlying desires or concerns that motivate people in particular situations (May sometimes be the same as their positions!)

Focusing on Interests
Problem : barking dog
My interpretation : my neighbor doesn’t care about my needs
My position : quiet the dog
My interest : I need sleep
Issue : how to control the barking

Focusing on Interests
Problem : reefs are dying
My interpretation : inadequately controlled construction in near-shore areas results in runoff that smothers reefs.
My position : stop or severely limit land disturbance
Interest : reducing the rate of coral loss
Issue : What’s the real source of reef degradation? How can runoff be reduced/ controlled?

Types of Interests
Substantive : How people describe the issue: barking dogs, cars blocking driveway, dying reefs
Relational : How people they should be treated or acknowledged.
Procedural : How people think issues should be addressed (e.g. courts, ho`oponopono)

Principle 3: Invent Options for Mutual Gain
Focus on the variety of ways issues/ interests (yours/theirs) might be addressed?
Avoid assuming there’s a single solution
Separate brainstorming from evaluation of options
Don’t assume zero-sum conditions
Think creatively

Principle 4: Insist on Objective Criteria
Fair standards : market value, precedent, blue book value, professional standards, “best practice,” industry average, equal treatment, etc.
Fair procedures : e.g. last best offers, taking turns, drawing lots

When is the Interest-Based Approach Appropriate?
Other party is willing to problem-solve
There is sufficient trust and information—or a willingness to develop them
On-going relationships are important
Commitment to carry out the agreement is needed
Quality agreement is more important than an expedient one

When is the Interest-Based Approach Unnecessary?
On-going relationships are not important
Negotiation is viewed as strictly distributive (e.g. buying a car)
Lack of commitment to problem-solving on the part of one or more parties
One or more parties see the negotiation as involving fundamental rights (but some contention about this)

Prepping for Your Negotiation
What are our interests? What are theirs? How can we find out?
What’s our BATNA? What’s theirs?
What’s our WATNA? Theirs?
What do we know about their circumstances that might affect the negotiations?
What’s their negotiation style? Etc.

A BATNA

Negotiating Steps
Develop ground rules
Jointly identify issues
Explore interests
Develop objective standards
Brainstorm options
Evaluate options using standards
Try to reach consensus decision

Adapting General Principles to Specific Negotiations
Pacing: fast or slow?
Formality: high or low?
Oral or written agreements: which are more binding and inclusive?
Bluntness of communication: direct or indirect?
Time-frame: short or long term?
Who negotiates: Equals or most competent?

Sources of Negotiation Problems
Perceptual errors
Unrealistic expectations about likely outcomes
Unwillingness or inability to engage in real negotiations
Perceived non-negotiability of some disputes

Special issues in Negotiation
Confidentiality
Neutrality
Authority
Integrity
Credibility
Also applicable in conflict handling

Conflict Handling

The conflict within
“We accuse others, we excuse ourselves”
-Unknown

Workplace conflict
“A condition between or among workers whose jobs are interdependent, who feel angry, who perceive the other (s) as being at fault, and who act in ways that cause a business problem”
Daniel Dana

Signs of conflict
Anger
Disgruntled staff
Low productivity
High turnover
Absenteeism
Frequent ‘sick days’
Dysfunctional meetings
Bullying

The cost of conflict
Reputation
Safety
Loyalty
Production
Recruitment
Replacement
Litigation
Time
Money
• Wasted time • Bad decisions • Lost employees • Restructuring • Sabotage, theft, • Damage • Lowered motivation • Lost work time • Health costs

Culture & conflict
Dominating organization : One in which power contests are the prevailing approach to resolving conflicts.
Litigating organization : One in which right contests are the prevailing approach to resolving conflicts.
Mediating organization : One in which interest reconciliation is the prevailing approach to resolving conflicts.
- Daniel Dana

Conflict is productive…
When:
Used to create and innovate
The organization develops dispute
resolving systems and procedures
We see it as value neutral rather than negative
We use the opportunity for growth
We share new information

Conflict is productive…
When:
There are new solutions which include everyone’s perspective
We separate the people from the problem
We discover our “hot button” triggers and find effective ways to cool down our reactions
We learn problem solving skills
Attention is focused on the hidden costs

“Conflict involves struggles between two or more people over values, or competition for status, power and scarce resources.”
- Moore 1986
Conflict handling and its Management

Conflict Handling and its Management
• Conflict is inevitable.
It need not be viewed as only a negative process.
Has both productive and destructive potential.
Conflict if mismanaged, however, can threaten relationships, systems and institutions.

Basic approaches to managing conflict:
1. Ignoring the conflict
2. Avoiding the conflict producing situation
3. Coercion and/or violence
4. Negotiation
5. Mediation
6. Adjudication or arbitration

Historically, all societies have resolved
conflict by using:
Negotiation
Mediation
Adjudication
Globally, these are the three primary dispute resolving processes .

Conflict Inventory
Who has experienced a conflict (problem, issue, scrape, misunderstanding, etc) in the last month?
How did you respond? What was your “conflict strategy?”

Conflict Resolution Options
Avoidance
Capitulation
Suppression
Accommodation
Problem solving (e.g. conciliation, negotiation, mediation, facilitation)
Escalation
Confrontation

Problem Solving Options
Conciliation: neutral 3 rd party assists disputants by acting as go-between
Arbitration: neutral 3 rd party acts as judge
Negotiation: parties confer to arrive at mutually satisfactory solution
Mediation: neutral 3 rd party assists parties in their own negotiations
Facilitation: neutral 3 rd party assists in group discussions

Toward Conflict Management
Blake and Mouton’s Conflict Grid
Source: Reproduced by permission from Robert R. Blake and Jane Syngley Mouton. “The Fifth Achievement.” Journal of Applied Behavioral Science 6(4), 1970..

Toward Conflict Management—Practical Tips
Walker and Harris (1995) offer the following practical tips for implementing the 9,9 style. Encouraging behavior occurs when a team member:
1. Avoids feelings or perceptions that imply the other person is wrong or needs to change.
2. Communicates a desire to work together to explore a problem or seek a solution.
3. Exhibits behavior that is spontaneous and destruction-free.

Toward Conflict Management—Practical Tips
4. Identifies with another team member’s problems, shares feelings, and accepts the team member’s reaction.
5. Treats other team members with respect and trust.
6. Investigates issues rather than taking sides on them.
The same principles can be applied to negotiating with others outside your team, or with a supplier or customer.

Blake and Mouton (1970) proposed a grid that shows various conflict approaches.
The 1,1 style is the hands-off approach, also called avoidance .
The 1,9 position, also called accommodation , is excessively person-oriented.

The 5,5 position represents a willingness to compromise.
The 9,1 is the bullheaded approach, also called competing.
The optimum style for reducing conflict is the 9,9 approach, also called collaboration .

Game Theory
Game theory puts people into the mixed-motive situation.
Covey (1990) in The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People refers to the scarcity mentality versus the abundance mentality.
The scarcity mentality leads us to resent the success of others.
The abundance mentality allows us to think of situations in which everybody can win.

Fisher, Ury, and Patton (1991) outline four principles that compose principled negotiation .
Separate the people from the problem.
Focus on interests, not positions.
Invent options for mutual gain.
Seek objective criteria.

The Continuum of Decision-Making Behavior has been described as including four styles of decision making:
Tells
Sells
Consults
Joins

A Continuum of Decision-Making Behavior
Source: From Stewart L. Tubbs. Empowerment (Ann Arbor, Mich.: U-Train, Inc., 1993), pp 5-9. Adapted from R. Tannenbaum and H.W. Schmidt. “How to Choose a Leadership Pattern,” Harvard Business Review March-April, 1958.

Managing people
Leaders
Managers
Careers
Global Human Resource Systems (the process by which people are managed)

Leadership Theories
Traits
Those that don’t change readily, e.g., height, gender
Those that change with difficulty, values
Those that can be developed
Leadership Styles
Orientation to people
Task orientation
Contingency—leader’s style needs to adapt to the context
“ New” leadership such as transformational or connective leaders

Steven Rhinesmith (2000)
1. M anaging competitiveness by looking at the "big picture"
2. M anaging complexity
3. M anaging alignment
4. M anaging change
5. M anaging teams
6. M anaging learning by being open and learning globally

Black, Morrison, and Gregersen (1999)
1. I nquisitiveness
2. A n ability to embrace duality
3. C haracter to develop trust and goodwill among people from different cultural backgrounds
4. “ S avvy" that allows a leader to see what needs to be done and marshall resources for accomplishment

Rosen, Digh, Singer and Phillips (2000)
1. P ersonal literacy including understanding self and one's own limitations and abilities
2. S ocial literacy to assemble strong teams and unleash collective strength
3. B usiness literacy including understanding the organization and its environment
4. C ultural literacy includes knowing about and leveraging culture differences

McCall and Hollenbeck (2002)
1. O pen-minded and flexible in thinking and tactics pursued
2. C ultural interest and sensitivity
3. A bility to deal with complexity
4. R esilience, resourcefulness, optimism, and energy
5. H onesty and integrity
6. A stable personal life
7. T echnical or business skills

Global Leadership Attributes and Theories
A g lobal m indset—a way of thinking that looks beyond self and immediate circumstances — trait; new leader
Know t he b usiness and i ts e nvironment—know the environment, savvy, big picture thinking, alignment—contingency
Create and c onvey a c lear v ision with i ntegrity—clear sense of purpose; convey to others;character; honesty; integrity—trait, leadership style
Develop s elf- a wareness and u nderstanding—personal literacy; self-knowledge; reflection—trait; new leader
Manage d iversity—diverse groups and structures; people from many backgrounds—leadership style, trait
Continuously l earn—inquisitiveness; being open to others and to new information; leader and learner—new leader

William Van Dusen Wishard (1995)
1. T here is a need to discern what is permanent and immutable
2. W e must learn to make interconnections between people, events, and different categories of life because interdependence is an emerging condition of life
3. W e must learn to know ourselves
4. W e each need some understanding of how change and technology are affecting people and institutions
5. W e need to be open to dimensions of existence that are difficult to understand, value or control; within ourselves we need to value intuition
6. T here is a need to interact with people in a manner that will bridge racial and cultural differences
7. T here is a need to have a personal sense of creating something new for the future

The four agreements: Don Miguel Ruiz's Code for Life
Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements was published in 1997.
The Four Agreements is a life-changing book, whose ideas come from the ancient Toltec wisdom of the native people of Southern Mexico.
The Toltec were 'people of knowledge' - scientists and artists who created a society to explore and conserve the traditional spiritual knowledge and practices of their ancestors.
The simple ideas of The Four Agreements provide an inspirational code for life; a personal development model, and a template for personal development, behavior, communications and relationships. Here is how Don Miguel Ruiz summarizes 'The Four Agreements‘….

Agreement 1
Be impeccable with your words
“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally
“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

Agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions
“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

Agreement 4
Always do your best
“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

Negotiation Skills and Conflict Handling

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