Liking, Loving and POSITIVE(+) AND NEGATIVE(-) SOCIAL BEHAVIOURS!
How Do (g)We Act? <ul><li>Are we basically meant to be “good” or “bad” as people? As we ponder the basic nature of humanity we may wonder whether it is better represented by the violence and cruelty we witness in our everyday lives or if there is something special about human nature that permits loving, considerate, and unselfish behaviour. </li></ul>
Reasons We Like Who We Like <ul><li>Proximity: we like people we are forced to spend time because they live near us or work with us because it’s easier </li></ul><ul><li>Exposure: repeated exposure is likely to cause liking because being familiar with someone produces positive feelings </li></ul><ul><li>Similarity: we like people who are like us because we assume that they will automatically have a positive opinion of us </li></ul><ul><li>Physical attractiveness: for many people, beautiful = good so attractive people are more popular because being attractive promotes an initial liking. </li></ul>
What Qualities Do We Want Most From a Friend? <ul><li>Good secret keeper </li></ul><ul><li>Loyal </li></ul><ul><li>Warm and Affectionate </li></ul><ul><li>Supportive, Funny & Honest </li></ul>
Whets Love Got To Do With It? <ul><li>Love is not just liking someone in a greater quantity. It is a qualitatively different state. Love differs from like because it includes elements of passion, fascination exclusiveness, desire and intense caring. Two types of love are Passionate(romantic) love and companionate love. </li></ul>
Aggressively Prosocial Behaviour: Hurting to Help Others <ul><li>Beatdowns, facesmashing and popping caps are just some of the examples of everyday violence and aggression. There are also many thoughtful and generous behaviours that suggest a more optimistic view of humankind. Think of things (g)you do everyday, like giving someone a cigarette or telling a friend that their pants make them look fat. These instances of helping are no less characteristic of human behaviour than distasteful but hilarious examples of aggression. </li></ul>
Smile On Your Brother <ul><li>Aggression: the intentional infliction of injury or harm on another person </li></ul><ul><li>Is aggression an inevitable part of the human condition? </li></ul><ul><li>Is aggression a product of particular circumstances? </li></ul>
Hurting Others w/Different types of Aggression <ul><li>Instinct Approach: Aggression as a release </li></ul><ul><li>Aggression is a primary instinctual drive </li></ul><ul><li>Aggression builds up in an individual until it is inevitably discharged (catharsis) </li></ul><ul><li>Longer build up = more intense aggression </li></ul><ul><li>Participation in sports and games is thought of as a way to release aggression is a more socially desirable way </li></ul>
<ul><li>2. Frustration Aggression: a reaction to frustration </li></ul><ul><li>Frustration is when ongoing, goal-directed behaviour is blocked in some way </li></ul><ul><li>Frustration produces anger which can lead to a readiness to act aggressively </li></ul><ul><li>“ Aggressive cues” may trigger the aggression, based on how negative the feelings of frustration are </li></ul>
<ul><li>3. Observational learning: learning to hurt others </li></ul><ul><li>Social and environmental conditions can teach individuals to be aggressive </li></ul><ul><li>It is a learned response understood in terms of rewards and punishments </li></ul>
Helping Others With Prosocial Behaviour <ul><li>FOUR STEP PROCESS OF HELPING! </li></ul><ul><li>Noticing a person or event that requires help </li></ul><ul><li>Interpreting stimulus as one requiring help </li></ul><ul><li>Assuming responsibility for helping </li></ul><ul><li>Deciding on and implementing the form of helping </li></ul>
Altruism and Empathy <ul><li>Altruism is a helping behaviour that requires self-sacrifice </li></ul><ul><li>Helpers may have different personality traits than non helpers, such as being more self-assured and having greater empathy </li></ul><ul><li>Empathy is experiencing the emotions of another person </li></ul>
How Not to Punch Someone <ul><li>Getting in a bar fight is fine, turning someone’s lights out because </li></ul><ul><li>they broke your pencil is not okay. </li></ul><ul><li>Consider what is making you angry from the perspective of the other person. (OP: Oh man, I broke that pencil. Good thing it’s a tube of graphite and cheap wood, not something actually important.) </li></ul><ul><li>Minimize the importance of the situation. (Pencils are readily available. You can get another pencil. I have some in my bag, I will give you one.) </li></ul><ul><li>Fantasize about getting even – without acting on it. (Dream Sequence: OMG IM GOING TO STAB YOU TWICE! ONCE WITH EACH PIECE OF THE BROKEN PENCIL. Good. Now take a deep breath and see how ridiculous that is. </li></ul><ul><li>Relax – Take a few more breaths. Count to ten. Check out your new pencil, it’s totally sweeter and on the plus side, you aren't going to jail for stabbing someone with a broken pencil. </li></ul>
DO NOT BE GOOFUS! If you are out in public and you aren’t sure if you are acting correctly, this helpful hotline will be useful to you. Call anytime and operators will be able to evaluate your situation and direct your actions. (905) 580-7684 24/7 toll free.
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