Conflict Management

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  • Direct participants to put their names on the tent cards. Say : Thank you for coming to this " Conflict Management and Dealing with Difficult Behavior." Have Ellen Talk about why this is important now Although most of us don't enjoy dealing with conflict or difficult behavior, it is often a part of both our professional and personal lives. Our goal for today is to determine our preferred conflict handling style, raise our awareness about the value of using other styles, provide you with some tools to help you handle conflict and difficult behavior and practice dealing with some samples of conflicts or difficult behavior. Review House Keeping Items – Ground rules, parking lot, pen, notebook, slides, handout
  • Conflict Management

    1. 1. Conflict Management & Dealing with Difficult Behavior
    2. 2. Learning Objectives <ul><li>Identify your personal preferences in managing conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Assess conflict situations to select the most appropriate conflict management approach </li></ul><ul><li>Develop skills to deal with difficult behavior </li></ul><ul><li>Discuss strategies for handling various types of difficult behavior </li></ul><ul><li>Commit to action for future encounters </li></ul>
    3. 3. Definition of Conflict <ul><li>Conflict is any situation where one person’s concerns are different from another person’s. </li></ul>
    4. 4. Sources of Conflict / Disagreement <ul><li>Misunderstandings </li></ul><ul><li>Competition </li></ul><ul><li>Lack of cooperation </li></ul><ul><li>Difference in method </li></ul><ul><li>Difference in values </li></ul><ul><li>Personality clashes </li></ul><ul><li>Others? </li></ul>
    5. 5. Five Conflict Handling Styles ASSERTIVENESS (concern for self) Unassertive Assertive Uncooperative Cooperative COOPERATIVENESS (concern for others) Competing “ win” Collaborating “ win/win” Avoiding “ delay” Accommodating “ yield” Compromising “ middle ground”
    6. 6. Steps for Resolving Conflict: <ul><li>Good time? Place? </li></ul><ul><li>Share the problem. Listen to understand </li></ul><ul><li>Get agreement on the root cause of the conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Explore needs, look for common ground </li></ul><ul><li>Brainstorm alternatives for meeting needs </li></ul><ul><li>Reach agreement and commit to action, and evaluate </li></ul><ul><ul><li>See pages 7-10 in your handout for additional </li></ul></ul>
    7. 7. Five Conflict Handling Styles ASSERTIVENESS (concern for self) Unassertive Assertive Uncooperative Cooperative COOPERATIVENESS (concern for others) Competing “ win” Collaborating “ win/win” Avoiding “ delay” Accommodating “ yield” Compromising “ middle ground”
    8. 8. Conflict Learning Points <ul><li>Conflict is inevitable in any organization or relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Constructive conflict is often the basis for creative solutions </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict resolution skills begin with the knowledge of self </li></ul><ul><li>Use skills most appropriate for the situation to get quality results </li></ul><ul><li>Lack of conflict is not necessarily a good thing </li></ul>
    9. 9. Active Listening: <ul><li>Is a skill </li></ul><ul><li>To demonstrate you understand thoughts and feelings </li></ul><ul><li>From the other person’s point of view </li></ul>
    10. 10. Active Listening <ul><li>Process: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Take in what they’ve said </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Sort out what the meaning of what they’ve said </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Sum it up in your mind </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Say it back to them </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Briefly </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>In your own words </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>With a focus on them – “you focus” </li></ul></ul></ul>
    11. 11. Commit Yourself to Change <ul><li>Commit to change </li></ul>
    12. 12. What Do You See?
    13. 13. What Do You See?
    14. 14. What Do You See?
    15. 15. Difficult Types of Behavior <ul><li>Aggressive </li></ul><ul><li>Arrogant </li></ul><ul><li>Unquestioning </li></ul><ul><li>Complainer </li></ul><ul><li>Unresponsive </li></ul><ul><li>Negative </li></ul><ul><li>Indecisive </li></ul><ul><li>Others? </li></ul>
    16. 16. Aggressive <ul><li>Be calm, lower your voice </li></ul><ul><li>Assertively express your own opinion </li></ul><ul><li>Allow them to vent </li></ul><ul><li>Identify their issues - the facts </li></ul><ul><li>Explain benefits of other points of view </li></ul><ul><li>Get them to sit – a less aggressive position </li></ul>
    17. 17. Arrogant <ul><li>Know your facts & discuss in an orderly manner </li></ul><ul><li>Do not ball-park </li></ul><ul><li>Help them consider alternative views – avoid challenges to their expertise </li></ul><ul><li>Resist temptation to assert your own expert credentials </li></ul><ul><li>Question without antagonizing </li></ul>
    18. 18. Unquestioning <ul><li>Don’t allow the person to over commit </li></ul><ul><li>Ask for feedback on things that may affect your relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Be personal without phoniness; express your value for them as a person </li></ul><ul><li>Pay attention to humor </li></ul><ul><li>What questions might you ask them to open up? </li></ul>
    19. 19. Complainer <ul><li>Break the cycle of passing blame; insist on problem solving </li></ul><ul><li>Listen carefully-they may just need to vent </li></ul><ul><li>Make sure they have the facts of the specific situation </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t agree just to appease </li></ul><ul><li>Ask them how to potentially solve the issue </li></ul><ul><li>Ask the who owns the problem? </li></ul>
    20. 20. Unresponsive <ul><li>Ask open-ended questions </li></ul><ul><li>Apply friendly, silent eye contact and hold it </li></ul><ul><li>Use comments as appropriate </li></ul><ul><li>Set time limits </li></ul><ul><li>Be attentive and allow vagueness </li></ul><ul><li>Reach out in a variety of ways </li></ul>
    21. 21. Negative <ul><li>Resist temptation to argue </li></ul><ul><li>Allow them to be the reality checker </li></ul><ul><li>Require specifics; discourage generalizations </li></ul><ul><li>Offer examples of past successes </li></ul><ul><li>Show that some alternatives are worth trying </li></ul><ul><li>Ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” </li></ul>
    22. 22. Indecisive <ul><li>Make it easy for them to tell you why they aren’t reaching goals / deadlines </li></ul><ul><li>Listen for indirect words, hesitations </li></ul><ul><li>Ask how can you help? </li></ul><ul><li>Have them set their own intermediate deadlines </li></ul><ul><li>Hold them to deadlines, stress quality and service </li></ul>
    23. 23. Ramifications of Difficult Behavior <ul><li>Mental and physical health </li></ul><ul><li>Time and money </li></ul><ul><li>Ripple effect </li></ul>
    24. 24. Why We Choose Not To Manage It <ul><li>Disbelief </li></ul><ul><li>Desire to avoid conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Nobody wants to be the “bad guy” </li></ul>
    25. 25. Developing the Right Mindset <ul><li>Take responsibility for the situation </li></ul><ul><li>Believe it can be solved </li></ul><ul><li>Keep the other party in good light </li></ul><ul><li>There is more than one way to look at it </li></ul><ul><li>Use active listening </li></ul>

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