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Having A Very Hard Time Coping After Break-Up
Good relationships can be divided into the before commitment and after commitment stages. While
poor relationships can also be split into two distinct stages of their own: Before break-up and after
break-up. There is a bit of dark humor there, because you will often think you are in the one of the two
good relationship stages until it's too late.
Perhaps that's why sadness, anger, guilt and depression are just a few of the emotions that make having
a very hard time coping after break-up a not too uncommon experience. After all, things are going along
just fine, because you are either committed to each other already, or about to be...at least that's what
you're thinking. Then, wham! You find out you are now going through the after break-up. Here are a few
ways to help you get through this difficult time more easily.
One of the best things you can do is find useful outlets for your time. While you may feel like punching a
hole in the wall or other destructive things, they won't do anything to help. The key is to find positive
ways to use your time. Stay active at work or with your other commitments. If your schedule allows, you
can even add an activity or two. Just be careful to not overdo it. There is often a fine line between
staying active and denial.
Having a very hard time coping after break-up usually results in crawling into a little hole and wallowing
in self-pity. That may be a bit blunt for some, but I hope it shakes them up! You have to be with people.
There's no other way around it.
Talk to a trusted friend, preferably one that doesn't talk to your ex. Having someone to listen to you will
go a long way towards helping you deal with the bad feelings you're experiencing. Even though friends
do their best, sometimes they just aren't able to listen enough. You can take this idea to the next level
by getting help from a mental health professional or find a therapist - some people don't go out of fear
of embarrassment or ridicule, but they are there to help, and are required to keep everything
Forgiveness can be hard to give, but it is wonderfully liberating. If your ex was at fault, forgive them.
Even tougher to do, though, is forgiving yourself. Whether it was really your fault or not isn't the point.
Getting rid of the guilt is.
You may want to avoid everything but you will eventually have to face the fact that you went through a
break up. That is, ultimately, the only way to ever get over it completely. You can't ignore it forever. Bad
stuff happens to good people. You have to move on.
Feeling bad after a break-up is normal. Staying attached to those feelings for a long time isn't healthy.
Use the tips above to start getting to a more positive place. Once you do, you will be able to enjoy life
much more than you do now.