Wherever choices exist there is potential for disagreement. Such differences, when handled properly, can result in richer, more effective, creative solutions and interaction. When disagreement is poorly dealt with, the outcome can be contention. Contention creates a sense of psychological distance between people, such as feelings of dislike, bitter antagonism, competition, alienation, and disregard. Conflict resolution skills are very essential to succeed in life, business or organization. Conflicts are unavoidable because people have diverse beliefs, goals, ideas, views and perspectives and they clash. If disagreements are immediately not resolved, they fester and affect employee morale, leading to business productivity and efficiency. Conflicts can cause irreparable rifts, resentments and ruin. Accept people differences.
Tomorrow is going to be better, Tomorrow is going to be worse English medium schools, Regional medium schools Love marriages, Arranged marriages There is life on other planets, there is no life on other planets Truth is a great virtue, truth should be tempered with commonsense Travel interests me, staying home interests me
Discomfort: Nothing is said, yet. Things don’t feel right. Difficult to identify the problem. Not sure why the discomfort. Incident: a short and sharp exchange occurs without internal reaction. Leaves you upset, irritated or with an undesired result. Misunderstanding: Motives and facts are confused. Thoughts keep returning to the problem. Tension: relationships are weighed down by negative attitudes and fixed opinions. Regard or opinion of the other person changes significantly. Relationship becomes a constant source of worry and concern. Crisis: behavior is affected. Normal functioning becomes difficult. Extreme gestures are contemplated or executed. A rupture or violence is considered.
The term conflict management is sometimes used interchangeably with conflict resolution. The difference, however, is that the concept of conflict management is based on a premise that not all disputes end in resolution.
Styles may vary from one situation to the next. Assertiveness – focus on MY needs, desired outcomes and agenda Cooperativeness – focus on OTHERS’ needs and mutual relationship Compromising: both sides agreeing to make small or superficial concessions. Both parties make concession and bargaining to and reach a settlement to which both agree. Accommodating: cooperation wherein one side agrees to other's wants. Usually occurs when the outcome of the situation is very important to one but less so to the other. Collaborating: meeting underlying needs of both parties. It allows assertiveness and cooperation in the search for a solution that meets the needs of all. Competing: is used when outcome is more important than relationship, e.g., in emergencies. This also involves assertiveness but not cooperation. Avoiding: can mean running away but evasion or delay can be appropriate and constructive. Useful in highly emotional situations where time is needed to gain perspective.
Avoiding - “I will be quiet and listen.” “It's not that big a deal.” “I'd rather just forget it.” “It's not worth the trouble.” “What difference could I make anyway?” “I lose, you lose.” A turtle. When an issue is trivial, of only passing importance, or when other more important issues are pressing. You perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns-e.g., when you have low power or you are frustrated by something which would be very difficult to change (national policies, someone's personality structure, etc.)
Competing - “I value the point being made more than our relationship.” “It's them or me.” “I've got to win this one!” “I'm sure they will see it my way if they just think about it.” “I know I'm right.” This is the “I win, you lose” position. A person whose actions are expressed this way is sometimes symbolized as a shark. When quick, decisive action is vital-e.g., emergencies. On important issues where unpopular courses of action need implementing-e.g., cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules, discipline.
Accommodating - “I value our relationship more than this point.” “Let's just get this over with so we can get on to other things.” “This tension is very uncomfortable. I'll just do what they want.” “Fine I give in, have it your way.” “I lose, you win.” A teddy bear.
Compromising - “This isn't important enough to fight over.” “I don't want to be unreasonable.” “If I give her this, maybe she'll give me that.” “We could both live with that.” A fox.
Collaborating - “I'm sure if we work together we can come up with a better answer than either of us individually.” “I'm not giving in yet, but I am willing to hear your opinion, and give you mine.” “I win, you win.” An owl.
Take responsibility Uncover Define Bring parties together Discuss Help parties open up Allow ventilation Deal with emotions Ask open ended questions Ground rules Everyone agrees to be open and honest Everyone agrees to speak and be heard Everyone agrees to take a positive attitude
Different styles are appropriate for different situations. Various skills are utilized in managing conflict: Open Communication Lines (attending skills, minimal encouragers, feedback, reflecting and active listening) Be polite and respectfyl Establish Ground Rules, guidelines for productive discussion, i.e., no interruptions, everyone has chance, one at a time. Confront the Current Issues--not people, not the past Use Listening Skills for both feelings and content; listen to understand, paraphrase to check understanding Assertive action Keep Emotions in Check and be aware of the emotions of others Consider the Physical Arrangements, space, location, seating, comfort, barriers Be unbiased Use Humor to relieve tension
Conflict Resolution Skills
1s make a fist
2s persuade 1s to open
Identify and understand conflict
Identify factors leading to conflicts
Learn conflict management styles
Practise resolution strategies
What is a Conflict?
individuals or groups
incompatible expected outcomes, opinions,
ideas, beliefs, values, needs or interests.
What Causes Conflicts?
If you agree with the first statement/word,
move left and turn left.
If you agree with the second,
move right and turn right.
Reset in the middle after each round.
Working Together is NOT Easy
No two people are alike
Competition for limited resources
Is Conflict Good or Bad?
“Little is attained without constructive management of conflict.”
- Relations breakdown
- Productivity decreases
- Decision making slows
+ Increased creativity
+ New solutions
+ Opportunities to test
Act fast and resolve quick
Focus on problem, not people
Be open to alternatives
Listen & Empathize
Attack & defend
You or me
You and me
Knee-jerk reaction Needs analysis
I want to win
I want you to win too
Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is
one factor that can make the difference between
damaging the relationship and deepening it.
That factor is ATTITUDE.
- William James
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