The concept of emotional intelligence first was introduced in the early 1990’s as “social intelligence.” Daniel Goleman popularized the term “emotional intelligence” in his 1995 book. Even though researchers and theorists do not agree on the validity and reliability of “a” definition for Emotional Intelligence, anecdotal evidence clearly indicates that a person’s “emotional maturity” contributes to effectiveness and efficiency in the workplace. A person’s IQ alone is insufficient criteria for workplace effectiveness and efficiency in a workplace dependent on interpersonal relationships. Research and anecdotal evidence gathered by EI proponents support two important points: the “whole” person is comprised by IQ, EQ and personality, and of these qualities, emotional intelligence is the only one a person can change to actively contribute to effectiveness and efficiency. How would you define emotional intelligence?
Our language conveys how we feel emotions in our bodies: gut reaction, a pain in the neck, a broken heart, something makes our stomach turn. Research shows that emotional pain activates the same pain center in our brains as does physical pain. Emotional turmoil is the cause of many stress related illnesses.
Marshmallow story: 4 year olds; one marshmallow on the table; will get 2 if it’s still there after 10 minutes. SAT scores at age 18—those who waited (delayed gratification) had over 200 points higher on SAT.
Smells seem to be some of the strongest triggers because they go directly to the amygdala. Example—going into a school and the smell triggering a memory how you felt when you were in school. Or the smell of asphalt reminds you of a bad crash you had on your bike. Or the smell of something that made you throw up at one time continues to make you nauseous. Or the smell of diesel reminding you of when you were in the military. Sights, sounds and touch are filtered through the thalamus so are not quite as strong. The sight of someone who looks like a despised ex-spouse or a dog if you have been attacked by one earlier or a touch that reminds you of an abusive situation are other examples. The sound of a car back-firing is sometimes a trigger for someone who has been in combat.
Think of the amygdala as a horse and the cortex as the rider.
What is it?
Why is it Important?
Facilitator: Linda Batty
November 5, 2013
PLEASE SET YOUR CELL PHONE
ON VIBRATE AND
LEAVE CLASS IF YOU
MUST TAKE OR MAKE A CALL.
Emotional Intelligence in the
To acquaint you with the principles of
emotional intelligence and the
management application in state
Define and describe EI and the relevant
skills and competencies.
Evaluate your EI and identify strength
and improvement areas.
Identify the role of EI in the workplace.
Describe how you think others might see
Identify tips that will enhance your EI.
Apply EI principles in exercises and
Domains of Competence
What strikes you as the characteristic that
stands out or is most noticeable for that
– How smart they are, e.g. IQ
– How skilled they are in doing their job
– How they handle themselves and others in a
crisis or emotionally charged situation, e.g. EQ
What is I.Q.?
• Intelligence Quotient
• Mental Age
• Chronological Age = I.Q.
IQ versus EQ
1. When we are looking for a new hire,
which one do we emphasize: IQ, Job
2. Which do you think is most important
in the workplace?
If you said Emotional
you are in agreement with the majority.
A growing body of research suggests that
emotional intelligence plays a far more important
role in job performance and career success than
general intelligence and job skills, in fact-- twice as
important in technical/professional positions and
four times more important in leadership positions.
How to Handle an Amygdala
Find a Model
Short Circuit the Highjack
Why people are most often encouraged to
“pursue new opportunities”…
• Couldn’t get along with…
• Wasn’t a team player…
• Didn’t fit in…
Emotional Intelligence Definition
Emotional intelligence (EI) is your ability to
recognize and understand emotions and
skill at using this awareness to manage
yourself and relationships with others.
EI may be a quality of an executive control
system for emotional regulation supported
by sites in the brain’s frontal cortex.
Emotional Quotient (EQ) captures the side of life that the
Intelligence Quotient (IQ) does not.
Three Components of
1. Cognitive Component –
The thoughts, beliefs and expectations
housed in our rational brain that
contribute to our emotions.
2. Physiological Component (feelings)Within the limbic system, neurons transmit
messages from the brain through an electrical
and chemical system. Substances called
peptides, which are the chemical components of
emotions, are carried to every cell of our body
and are responsible for triggering the physical
sensation of emotional responses such as a
racing heart, sweaty palms, etc.
Our “feelings” don’t lie; they help us understand
3. Behavioral Component
How emotions are expressed, for example
a smile when we feel happy. Nonverbal
behaviors are the most common
expression of emotions, even when we
are trying to hide how we feel.
Recent research using
brain scans shows…
The brain’s wiring emphatically relies
on emotion over intellect in decisionmaking.
Our emotional brain is just as
important in reasoning as is our rational
• In a sense, we have two brains and two different
kinds of intelligence. Emotional intelligence
matters just as much as IQ. How we do in life is
determined by both.
• When these partners interact well, emotional
intelligence rises, as does intellectual ability.
Emotional Intelligence is a
• Our rational brain can help our emotional
brain differentiate real threats from false
• Our emotions help our rational brain focus
on our values and intentions—not just facts.
• Purposeful reflection can eventually help us
rewire our limbic system so that our
emotional reactions (feelings and behaviors)
are in line with our intentions. We want to be
able to redirect a hijacking before it takes
over and causes us to react in ways that are
not healthy or effective.
EI Skill Areas,
What I See
What I Do
Moving from Dependence to
Begin with the end in mind
Put first things first
Seek first to understand, then to be
7. Sharpen the saw
Proactive or Reactive?
Proactive Response: Respons(ibility)
Freedom: Can choose response
Condition of the person
Reactive Response: Victim mentality; external
locus of control
Liberty: Condition of the environment
Whose Job Is It?
This is a story about four people named Everybody,
Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an
important job to be done and Everybody was
asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but
Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that,
because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody
thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized
that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that
Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did
what Anybody could have done.
When we perceive a danger or threat, whether or not it is
real, the amygdala scans our experience comparing what
is happening now with what happened in the past.
It responds 80-100 times faster than the rational brain.
We feel before we think and react without being
immediately aware of why.
Our perception of the current event may be distorted and
it may be only vaguely similar to a past event, but the
amygdala can trigger the same emotional reaction because
it’s not very picky!
When we are emotionally
• The amygdala sends stress
hormones to the body that
take 3-4 hours to clear out.
• We act in ways we don’t
understand or like because
of established patterns of
behavior from these
previous similar emotional
situations. This can lead to
for our current
Emotionally Unintelligent/Intelligent Beliefs
•Need to have everyone’s
•Am responsible for other’s
feelings and solving their
•Have to win to feel good
•Impossible to please everyone
all the time
•Can try to influence others;
have no control over their
•Can feel good for trying; not
possible to avoid all mistakes
•People & conditions in my life •I can’t always control what
are the source of my problems happens to me, but I can choose
how I respond to life’s
Emotionally Intelligent Workplaces
• Self-Awareness = Culture [Mission, Vision,
Values, Strategic Plan]
• Self-Management = Climate [Flexibility, Control,
Policies, Procedures, Walking the talk: values,
• Social Awareness = [Morale, Diversity,
Recognition of and response to needs]
• Relationship Management [Feedback, Group
synergy, Response to change and conflict,
Collaboration, Influencing goal attainment]
When you find yourself experiencing an
• Pause. This helps you put on the brakes of your
amygdala, shift gears and regroup. Otherwise, your
emotional brain rushes ahead, controlling the situation
without any help from your rational brain.
• Breathe slowly and deeply. When your head is clear,
you are able to think more rationally.
• Listen patiently. Let others finish speaking, even if it
takes a while. This calms them and gives you time to
• Step outside your body and picture the current
situation as if you were watching a movie. What
would you recommend the main character do?
When you find yourself experiencing an
emotional hijack (cont.):
Have a mantra to recite to yourself like “In the big scheme of
things, does this really matter?” or “Is this the hill I am willing to
Take a time-out if you find yourself losing control. Get away from
the situation, if possible.
Move. If you can’t get away, move in some way, like taking a sip of
a drink or shifting in your chair.
Congratulate yourself after successfully avoiding a hijacking.
Reflect on how you did it to anchor it for next time.
If you didn’t avoid the hijacking, avoid rationalizing your reaction.
Instead, reflect on what was the probable emotional trigger, what
you were feeling and thinking, and how you might avoid the trigger
and or the hijacking next time.
When you find yourself resisting a
• Admit to yourself that you can’t change
the reality but you can change how you
react to it.
• Talk through your concerns with
someone who is not as invested in the
situation to help you gain perspective.
• Make a list of the potential positive
outcomes to balance your natural
tendency to focus on the negative.
• Listening with the attitude to learn
• Feedback with the desire to be
constructive requires listening.
Emotional Intelligence Interview Questions
Emotional Self-Awareness: Tell me about a time when your
awareness of your own emotions caused you to change your plan
Assertiveness: Tell me about a time when you spoke up knowing
that by doing so you were taking a risk.
Self-Regard: Please tell us what we can expect as a “Return” on
our investment (your salary) in you.
Independence: Tell us about a time when you took a critical action
in the workplace without being directed to do so.
Self-Actualization: Tell us about a time when you felt most
fulfilled. What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? What
are you proud of?
Empathy: You notice a co-worker choking back tears throughout a
meeting. Nobody else seems to notice because of the way he/she is
sitting. The meeting ends. You both get up to leave. What do you
Social Responsibility: Tell us your thoughts on how you think you
can “give back to others/make the world a better place/help others/
be of service” by simply carrying out the duties required by this
Interpersonal Relationship: What are your thoughts about
developing friendships with your coworkers?
Problem Solving: Describe a problem you discovered in a
previous job and what you did about it. Describe a problem that
you solved where you are particularly proud of the solution you
came up with. How did you go about solving it?
Flexibility: Describe a situation where you had to be extremely
Reality Testing: Are you more of a dreamer or more of a realist?
Give me an example of how someone observing might know this
Stress Tolerance: Tell me how you deal with stress. What do you
do to proactively deal with stress. Tell me about a time when you
had to deal with a lot of stress and how you handled it.
Impulse Control: Tell me about your ability to resist the
temptation to do things you may later regret. Have you ever done
something you later regretted?
Happiness: Tell me about a time in your life when you
experienced a great deal of “life satisfaction.” What makes you
“happy?” Define “happiiness” for me.
Optimism: Describe your general attitude to work and life. What
does “good attitude” mean to you? This glass I’m holding, how
would you describe it – as half-full or half-empty and what’s the
difference – is there a difference – does it matter?
9 Qualities of Truly Confident People
1. They take a stand not because they think they are
always right… but because they are not afraid to be
2. They listen ten times more than they speak.
3. They duck the spotlight so it shines on others.
4. They freely ask for help.
5. They think, “Why not me?”
6. They don't put down other people.
7. They aren’t afraid to look silly…
8. And they own their mistakes.
9. They only seek approval from the people who really