Problem Sentences ContinuedPresentation Transcript
Stringy and Choppy Sentences
Choppy SentencesChoppy sentences are sentences that are too short. When several short sentence come together they force the reader to go slowly. This makes the writing seem more "elementary" than it truly is.
Transition words• And -First• Although -Also• Because• Then -Indeed• But -For example• Next• Last
The sun beat down. It was on Linas back. She began to get terribly hot. She was uncomfortable.The sun beat down on Linas back,and she began to get terribly hotand uncomfortable.
It was afternoon. The day was hot. The truck rocked. Lina had nothing to do. Lina went to sleep.Sometime in the afternoon, because ofthe heat and the rocking motion of thetruck and because there was nothingelse to do, Lina went to sleep.
Individual Practice• Complete exercise #1 by combining short and choppy sentences.• Rewrite the revised paragraph in your notebook.
Stringy SentencesA stringy sentence is when too many clauses usually connected with and, but, so, and because, connect sentences forming one very long sentence. Stringy sentences are so long the reader forgets the beginning of the sentence before reaching the end.
They carried the sticks and grass back to wherethe truck was parked, and then Maddy scraped out a shallow hole in the ground with the heel of her shoe, and then in the hole she set the smallest splinters of wood, arranging them in a sort of square.They carried the sticks and grass back to where the truck was parked. Then Maddy scraped out a shallow hole in the ground with the heel of her shoe. In the hole she set the smallest splinters of wood, arranging them in a sort of square.
Identify if the sentence is choppy or stringy• They were dry. They were tasteless. Lina was hungry. She didnt mind much. She ate hers. She stood up. She licked her fingers. She was through. .• Over these she placed some sticks, and on top of those she added larger branches, and then she tucked in some handfuls of dried grass a the bottom of this stick building.
- It was the second night. They stopped. They were beside the ruins of a town. Not much was left of it. There were concrete foundations. There was overgrown weeds. You could see curved streets. Here and there was a wall. Some chimneys were still standing.
The Komondor’s hair is long and white and it growsinto long mats and the mats have to be groomed andthey must be carefully separated into cords and ittakes several hours and this has to be done eachtime the dog sheds its undercoat and this happenstwice a year.