Resolving conflicts

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  • 1.  
  • 2.  Conflict: Any disagreement, struggle, or fight.  Interpersonal conflicts: Disagreements between groups of any size, from two people to entire nations.  Remember that disagreements are normal in healthy relationships and that not all conflicts are harmful.  Learning to work together and recognize how conflicts build are key components in relationships.
  • 3.  Understanding the causes of conflicts in relationships may help you keep conflicts from developing.  Situations such as these often lead to conflict  Power Struggles—teen deciding what time he will come home at night  Loyalty--when a best friend does not pick your side of an argument with someone else  Jealousy/Envy—Best friend makes the sports team however, you are cut  Property disputes—friend borrows something without asking  Territory and space—brother or sister uses your ipad in your room
  • 4.  When a conflict arises, you have a choice: face the conflict or ignore it.  Minor conflicts can typically be resolved from compromise.  Remember to evaluate each conflict to decide whether a safe, agreeable solution can be reached.  Conflict resolution: the process of solving a disagreement in a manner that satisfies everyone involved.
  • 5.  Take time to calm down and think over the situation.  When discussing the conflict, take turns explaining each person’s side of the conflict without interruption. Use “I” messages.  Ask for clarification so that each person understands that other’s position.  Brainstorm solutions.  Agree on a solution that benefits both sides.  Follow up to see whether the correct solution was chosen and whether that solution worked for each person.
  • 6.  Respect for oneself and others:  Having respect for yourself means that you recognize that you have a right to your own opinions and values  When you respect others, you can listen to them with an open mind.  Negotiation: the use of communication and often compromise to settle a disagreement.
  • 7.  Preparing for Negotiation  Make sure the issue is important to you  Check your facts. Make sure the disagreement is not based on incorrect information  Remind yourself that your goal is to find a solution  Rehearse what you will say  Steps to take when negotiating  Select a time and place suited to working out problems  Work together toward a solution  Keep an open mind  Be flexible  Take responsibility for your role in the conflict  Give the other person an “out”
  • 8.  Sometimes negotiation is not always possible.  Mediation: process in which specially trained people help others resolve their conflicts peacefully.  Confidentiality: respecting the privacy of both parties and keeping details secret.  With mediation, it always best both parties express their feelings and thoughts with the end result of the mediator helping the parties come to a solution.  Throughout our lives people will encounter conflicts. However, being able to use effective communication and resolving conflict strategies will help in building and maintaining healthy relationships.