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Privilege and Allyship: Owning Our Stuff and Taking Action

by Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee

443 views

3 Hour Presentation for the WPC Symposium. As we progress in our understanding of privilege, power, and oppression, one of the toughest transitions is not only acknowledging our identities of ...

3 Hour Presentation for the WPC Symposium. As we progress in our understanding of privilege, power, and oppression, one of the toughest transitions is not only acknowledging our identities of marginalization but also our identities of power and privilege. Traditional equity and justice approaches concentrate on the deficit model – oppressed people must empower themselves to create positive change. How do we shift to a model in which those in power become allies to change systems from the inside out? Take part in an interactive workshop where we will examine the intersections of all our identities, own the power and privilege that we do have, and gain practical tools to become allies.

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Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Introduction - name, school, job, why
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Requests and FYI: Theory overview only, but ask questions if unclear, please hold examples for example section. Everyone ’s experience will be different so it is ok if not everyone can relate to everyone else’ personal experience. Will not get to every theory in depth nor will we be able to share all experiences. Goal is to introduce for further study and gain enough examples to apply. Resource materials: available in hard copy and electronically through website.
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Workshop structure: activity, theory, application, break
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Diane Finnerty, Heartland Center for Critical Democracy
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Understanding Youth: - “inordinate amounts of energy cannot be invested in a few ‘tough students.’ at the cost of educational quality for the larger whole.” Slippery slope! Where do you draw the line? -Adolescence is a social construction. -testing boundaries = students implicitly asking what kind of person they should be, what friends they should have, in what or whom to place trust, what kind of world they should make -In writing the life story, no one is a solo author. We are coauthoring the student ’s stories, as they are coauthoring ours. -Should we as educators think of our work with youth in a more relational terms? With which students? All of them? Every day? Is this possible? If not, how do we choose? -Lev Vygotsky - interpsychological development - children ’s cognitive development is shaped by the access they have to the thinking of other people’s lives. Educators need to make thinking as transparent as possible so students can choose to connect with it, contest it, or reject it. Zone of Proximal Development - aim at the higher end of zone to achieve maximal learning
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee • Notice who is in the room and who is not • Notice what it feels like to be cheered • Notice places where it is difficult to stand proudly
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Groups of 3 1 minute per person Take the full minute, even if you can ’t fill that minute Stop after 1 minute, even if you are not done --- All-Group Discussion Afterwards
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Witness An Ally chooses to see oppressive behaviors and attitudes. The first indicator that something is wrong is almost always a feeling of discomfort – feeling sick to the stomach, increased heartbeat, etc. How to Witness: Slow things down. Breathe and assess. Commit to taking action now or later. Make mental notes about what you saw and how you felt about it. Do not ignore those gut feelings. Confirm An Ally will try to understanding if and why someone is excluding others and/or expressing oppressive attitudes. How to Confirm: Ask questions to gain understanding. What do you mean? So what you’re saying is… How do you feel about that? Contradict and Stand Firm An Ally will express belief that will contract the belief of someone is expressing oppressive attitudes. The ally maintains the position even if the person does not express agreement of change of behavior. The ally feels reassured that there is now a potential for change because of the actions taken. How to Contradict: Use simple, clear I statements that disagree with the person’s belief, not the person. I would like you to know that I have a different point of view… I see it in a different way… That has not been my experience… Stay Connected An Ally is not interested in making someone feel bad or separating them with a label of somehow being bad. An ally will work to validate that the person is OK, but that there is disagreement about the belief or action. How to Stay Connected: Find an approach that strengthens the connection with the person. It is natural to feel angry or scared when intervening as an ally, but approaching it as an act of connection raises the potential for being heard and continuing the discussion. Think of your actions being a gift to be sharing with the person. Be a Good Receiver An Ally is able to be open to approaches by other Allies. An Ally knows how hard it is to be an Ally, so he/she is willing to set aside defensiveness and try to understand the feedback. An Ally knows everyone (including him/herself) is inherently good, but society has trained us all some behaviors and beliefs that disconnect us from each other. It is a gift to be able to hear others, even when what we hear may make us feel uncomfortable. How to Be a Good Receiver: Take a deep breath, try to set aside defensiveness, and listen. Try not to react or defend, absorb and think about it. Remember that it is not your fault you thought or acted this way, but it is your responsibility to understand where it came from and undo oppressive thoughts or actions.
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Witness An Ally chooses to see oppressive behaviors and attitudes. The first indicator that something is wrong is almost always a feeling of discomfort – feeling sick to the stomach, increased heartbeat, etc. How to Witness: Slow things down. Breathe and assess. Commit to taking action now or later. Make mental notes about what you saw and how you felt about it. Do not ignore those gut feelings. Confirm An Ally will try to understanding if and why someone is excluding others and/or expressing oppressive attitudes. How to Confirm: Ask questions to gain understanding. What do you mean? So what you’re saying is… How do you feel about that? Contradict and Stand Firm An Ally will express belief that will contract the belief of someone is expressing oppressive attitudes. The ally maintains the position even if the person does not express agreement of change of behavior. The ally feels reassured that there is now a potential for change because of the actions taken. How to Contradict: Use simple, clear I statements that disagree with the person’s belief, not the person. I would like you to know that I have a different point of view… I see it in a different way… That has not been my experience… Stay Connected An Ally is not interested in making someone feel bad or separating them with a label of somehow being bad. An ally will work to validate that the person is OK, but that there is disagreement about the belief or action. How to Stay Connected: Find an approach that strengthens the connection with the person. It is natural to feel angry or scared when intervening as an ally, but approaching it as an act of connection raises the potential for being heard and continuing the discussion. Think of your actions being a gift to be sharing with the person. Be a Good Receiver An Ally is able to be open to approaches by other Allies. An Ally knows how hard it is to be an Ally, so he/she is willing to set aside defensiveness and try to understand the feedback. An Ally knows everyone (including him/herself) is inherently good, but society has trained us all some behaviors and beliefs that disconnect us from each other. It is a gift to be able to hear others, even when what we hear may make us feel uncomfortable. How to Be a Good Receiver: Take a deep breath, try to set aside defensiveness, and listen. Try not to react or defend, absorb and think about it. Remember that it is not your fault you thought or acted this way, but it is your responsibility to understand where it came from and undo oppressive thoughts or actions.
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
The basic goal of an effective intervention is to win an ally or shift attitudes. Reduce Defensiveness • Use a welcoming and non-judgmental tone • Use relaxed body language and pleasant facial expression • Treat the other person with complete respect • Try not to communicate, “I would NEVER say THAT” We all have biases – we were trained since nearly birth for it. We are not better than someone else just because some express their prejudices openly. To approach another person with a sense of superiority or judgment will only guarantee that they won’t listen and that they would scrutinize you for mistakes you’d make. Keep the Conversation Going • Give the person a chance to share what they want to share • Ask open-ended questions • Set your feelings aside for the moment • Take the higher road – dialogue rather than debate Even if someone makes a bigoted joke, remark, or slur with you, they are, in a sense, reaching out to communicate with you. If you slam them with a “you shouldn’t say that,” you are shutting down that conversation and possibly the relationship. People are always more likely to listen when they feel that they’ve had a chance to be heard. Remember, comments and jokes like these are repetitions of “records” that people got through social training. Let people air them rather than argue with it. Also remember that listening and agreeing are not the same thing. Different Methods, Different Occasions • Seek pleasure and delight in the other person COMMENT: “How many Poles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” RESPONSE: “I’m SO glad you told me that joke. I’ve been trying to figure out why we think Polish people are stupid.” • Find out the experience motivating the comment COMMENT: “Why can’t they just speak English around here?” RESPONSE: “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.” COMMENT: “I’m sick of my tuition paying for scholarship students.” RESPONSE: “Tell me more about that.” • Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on (use this method sparingly, as not everyone “gets” this approach) COMMENT: “That movie is so gay.” RESPONSE: “That movie is attracted to other movies? EWW!” • Join the person and do not make yourself superior COMMENT: “She got that award because she’s black and female.” RESPONSE: “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a black woman gets recognized it must be because of “diversity” stuff rather than that she earned it.” Remember the most effective response is one that you think of creatively in the moment that allows the person to shift their attitudes, wins them over as an ally, and attempts to maintain your relationship with them.
The basic goal of an effective intervention is to win an ally or shift attitudes. Reduce Defensiveness • Use a welcoming and non-judgmental tone • Use relaxed body language and pleasant facial expression • Treat the other person with complete respect • Try not to communicate, “I would NEVER say THAT” We all have biases – we were trained since nearly birth for it. We are not better than someone else just because some express their prejudices openly. To approach another person with a sense of superiority or judgment will only guarantee that they won’t listen and that they would scrutinize you for mistakes you’d make. Keep the Conversation Going • Give the person a chance to share what they want to share • Ask open-ended questions • Set your feelings aside for the moment • Take the higher road – dialogue rather than debate Even if someone makes a bigoted joke, remark, or slur with you, they are, in a sense, reaching out to communicate with you. If you slam them with a “you shouldn’t say that,” you are shutting down that conversation and possibly the relationship. People are always more likely to listen when they feel that they’ve had a chance to be heard. Remember, comments and jokes like these are repetitions of “records” that people got through social training. Let people air them rather than argue with it. Also remember that listening and agreeing are not the same thing. Different Methods, Different Occasions • Seek pleasure and delight in the other person COMMENT: “How many Poles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” RESPONSE: “I’m SO glad you told me that joke. I’ve been trying to figure out why we think Polish people are stupid.” • Find out the experience motivating the comment COMMENT: “Why can’t they just speak English around here?” RESPONSE: “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.” COMMENT: “I’m sick of my tuition paying for scholarship students.” RESPONSE: “Tell me more about that.” • Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on (use this method sparingly, as not everyone “gets” this approach) COMMENT: “That movie is so gay.” RESPONSE: “That movie is attracted to other movies? EWW!” • Join the person and do not make yourself superior COMMENT: “She got that award because she’s black and female.” RESPONSE: “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a black woman gets recognized it must be because of “diversity” stuff rather than that she earned it.” Remember the most effective response is one that you think of creatively in the moment that allows the person to shift their attitudes, wins them over as an ally, and attempts to maintain your relationship with them.
The basic goal of an effective intervention is to win an ally or shift attitudes. Reduce Defensiveness • Use a welcoming and non-judgmental tone • Use relaxed body language and pleasant facial expression • Treat the other person with complete respect • Try not to communicate, “I would NEVER say THAT” We all have biases – we were trained since nearly birth for it. We are not better than someone else just because some express their prejudices openly. To approach another person with a sense of superiority or judgment will only guarantee that they won’t listen and that they would scrutinize you for mistakes you’d make. Keep the Conversation Going • Give the person a chance to share what they want to share • Ask open-ended questions • Set your feelings aside for the moment • Take the higher road – dialogue rather than debate Even if someone makes a bigoted joke, remark, or slur with you, they are, in a sense, reaching out to communicate with you. If you slam them with a “you shouldn’t say that,” you are shutting down that conversation and possibly the relationship. People are always more likely to listen when they feel that they’ve had a chance to be heard. Remember, comments and jokes like these are repetitions of “records” that people got through social training. Let people air them rather than argue with it. Also remember that listening and agreeing are not the same thing. Different Methods, Different Occasions • Seek pleasure and delight in the other person COMMENT: “How many Poles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” RESPONSE: “I’m SO glad you told me that joke. I’ve been trying to figure out why we think Polish people are stupid.” • Find out the experience motivating the comment COMMENT: “Why can’t they just speak English around here?” RESPONSE: “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.” COMMENT: “I’m sick of my tuition paying for scholarship students.” RESPONSE: “Tell me more about that.” • Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on (use this method sparingly, as not everyone “gets” this approach) COMMENT: “That movie is so gay.” RESPONSE: “That movie is attracted to other movies? EWW!” • Join the person and do not make yourself superior COMMENT: “She got that award because she’s black and female.” RESPONSE: “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a black woman gets recognized it must be because of “diversity” stuff rather than that she earned it.” Remember the most effective response is one that you think of creatively in the moment that allows the person to shift their attitudes, wins them over as an ally, and attempts to maintain your relationship with them.
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Lots of descriptors and models, this is one (another example is adapted Riddle Scale or Scale of Homophobia developed by Dorothy Riddle) Denial - What difference? Isn ’t everybody supposed to be the same? Defense - I ’m not saying you’re bad or anything. I do it this way because… Minimization - So THAT ’S how you do things. Isn’t that charming/interesting/unusual? Acceptance - This is how you do things, and it is valid, though different from how I do things. Adaptation - This is how you do things, and this is how I do things, and this is how we do things when we ’re together. Integration - This is the valuable element of how I do things and the valuable element of how I do things. Together, we can come up with a way of being that benefits us as individuals and as a group.
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Mental Model - How we understand our world and how it works. Our brains are designed to do it. Ladder of Inference - constantly happening, and when unchecked, forms a mental model that may or may not be true. Give handout example REAL EXAMPLE: Parent calls me in for a meeting about concerns. “You are a very mean teacher, and my daughter cannot approach you for any help.” “She said that you won’t help students unless you make an appointment.” “You told her that she needs to tell you three days in advance if she wants any help from you.” Observable data. Student comes up night before a week-long assignment is due and says she does not understand the assignment. Unfortunately, I have another appointment and cannot help her in that moment. I remind her that she has had a week to ask questions, and though unfortunate that circumstances worked out this way, she can avoid this situation by looking over the assignment early and asking for help earlier so that we have some options for appointments. “Imagine if you asked for help three days ago - I could have had so many options for appointments to get you the help you need.” Tools of Action helps us check assumptions earlier in the process and avoid conflict or erroneous beliefs.
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Specific: A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” questions: *Who: Who is involved? *What: What do I want to accomplish? *Where: Identify a location. *When: Establish a time frame. *Which: Identify requirements and constraints. *Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal. EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, “Get in shape.” But a specific goal would say, “Join a health club and workout 3 days a week.” Measurable - Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal. To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as…… How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished? Attainable – When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals. You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them. Realistic - To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love. Timely – A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there’s no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 10 lbs, when do you want to lose it by? “Someday” won’t work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, “by May 1st”, then you’ve set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal. T can also stand for Tangible – A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Creating Inclusive Classrooms 09/26/11 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee