Gone are days when boys are made of "snips and snails and puppy dog tails" and girls are made of "sugar and spice and everything nice"... or are they? We are barraged with messages about gender and heterosexual norms everywhere we go - our homes, our schools, the media, and more. Do you know what hidden lessons you are learning? How do gender and sexuality affect everything from boys struggling in school to girls dropping out of the STEM pipeline, from sexual harassment to anti-gay bullying, from eating disorders to plastic surgery? How do we develop positive self esteem, healthy identity development, and acceptance of differences?

1. Horace Mann School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Gender and Sexuality Diversity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
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3. Agenda
• Gender Differences
• Gender Bias
• Impacts of the Gender Binary
• When the Binary Doesn’t Work
• Rethinking Gender and Sexuality
• What Can We Do?
• Discussions
• Resources
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4. Disclaimers and
Other Food for Thought
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5. To Engage Fully…
• Practice Growth Mindset
• Ask Questions
• Call Folks IN not OUT
• Let go of Assumptions
• Embrace Discomfort
• Recognize We Are On A Journey
• Own Your Own Intent and Impact
• Practice Courage
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6. Gender and Sexuality Paradigm
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7. Gender Differences
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8. Brash
Troublemaker
Strong
Competitive
Physical
Silent
Clever
Mistake-Prone
Belligerent
Intuitive
Well-Behaved
Delicate
Cooperative
Emotional
Verbal
Pretty
Perfect
Nice
Gender Bias
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13. Process Break
Please turn to a nearby neighbor or form
small groups to discuss the following:
How do you experience gender? What
pressures do you feel, and what messages
do you get? What happens as you conform
or defy gender norms?
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15. Girls and Gender Bias
Where Does it Lead?
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16. Central Messages for Girls
Sexy --- Slutty
Powerful --- Bitchy
Smart --- Bookish
Cheerful --- Uncool
Confident --- “All That”
Athletic --- Jocky
Close to Friends --- Lesbian
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17. The “Good Girl” in Conflict
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18. The “Good Girl” in the Workplace and Home
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19. BeautyThe “Pretty Girl” on Beauty
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20. Boys and Gender Bias
Where Does it Lead?
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21. Central Message for Boys
Do Not Be Weak.
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Be so, and you will be likened to
a girl or you will be called gay.

22. The “Tough Guy” in Conflict
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23. The “Tough Guy” in the Workplace and the Home
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24. Psychic Dissonance, Health, and Violence
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25. Gender and Sexuality Paradigm
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26. Process Break
Please discuss with a partner or two:
Are you…
-internalizing and conforming to gender norms and
stereotypes
-feeling pressured to conform to gender stereotypes
-little affected by gender stereotypes
-actively non-conforming to gender stereotypes
What are the positives and negatives of where you are,
as far as you can tell? How are you rewarded or
punished for where you are?
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27. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
When the Binary Doesn’t Work

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30. Gender
[ ] Male [ ] Female
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Gender
[ ] Male [ ] Female [ ] It’s Complicated
Gender
______________________

31. What Can We Do?
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33. What Can We Do as/for Girls?
• Learn the difference between
self-sacrificing and good.
• Talk and think about
something besides your
looks.
• Value the quality of your
relationships, not the
quantity.
• Look to diverse women
mentors.
• Role-Play difficult
conversations.
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34. What Can We Do as/for Boys?
• Learn the difference
between strong and
tough.
• Talk about feelings and
relationships.
• Make it okay to be
vulnerable.
• Look to diverse male
mentors.
• Understand societal
homophobia.
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35. What Can We Do for/as Gender Diverse Folks?
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• Ask for less gendered
language.
• Interrupt gender exclusive
behavior.
• Make gender insignificant
in grouping.
• Mix up gender
stereotyped activities.
• Folks need to believe
what you tell them.
• Normalize your
experience.
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36. What Can We All Do?
• Develop and practice strong interaction and social skills.
• Accept nontraditional family and relationship models.
• Look for diverse role models of all GSD identities.
• Learn about gender and sexuality diversity.
• Analyze “norm”, “normal”, and “good”.
• Seek healthy outlets for your feelings.
• Respect and nurture your true self.
• Make informed choices.
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37. Media Literacy
• Choose and engage with media critically.
• Clarify your values and seek congruence from media.
• Spend your money critically.
• Think critically about friends and media they engage in.
• Talk to others about media literacy.
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38. Action Spectrum
Karen Bradberry, PhD
Active Passive Passive Active
Agent Bystander Ally
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39. Undoing Gender and
Sexuality Bias
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40. Questions and Comments
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41. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
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42. Resources
• Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement &
Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain
Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Miss Representation, documentary film on media and
women
• United Nations Population Fund Statistics on Gender
Equality as of 2005
http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2005/presskit/factsheets/facts
_gender.htm
• Learning to be critically literate of mass media
http://www.medialit.org/
• Media Guide for Parents and Educators
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/
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43. Gender Specific Resources
• Jennifer Bryan, various trainings and publications on
gender and sexuality diversity, From the Dress Up
Corner to the Senior Prom
• JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident
and Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive
• Jackson Katz, Tough Guise, Wrestling with Manhood,
The Macho Paradox
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies
on early gender differences in competition and play
• Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves
of Adolescent Girls
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out,
Curse of the Good Girl
• Michael Thompson, Raising Cain, Speaking of Boys, It’s
a Boy!
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