Charlotte Latin School Courageous Conversations


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Talking about difficult topics like gender, race, sexual orientation, and class with our children can raise anxiety for many people, and yet we must have the conversation in our schools and our lives in order to be more inclusive and change the world for the better. What are the fears and common pitfalls that keep us from broaching courageous conversations? Gain practical skills for interrupting comments as well as facilitating conversations.

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Charlotte Latin School Courageous Conversations

  1. 1. Charlotte Latin School Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Courageous Conversations: Interrupting with Care and and Modeling Courage in Tension Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  2. 2. About Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  3. 3. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  4. 4. Dimensions of Identity and Culture This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute, adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003). Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  5. 5. Understanding the Case for Diversity and Inclusion  The Moral Case  The Academic Case  The Economic Case Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  6. 6. Courageous Conversations Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  7. 7. Fears and Anxieties that Keep Us from Having Conversations  Offending  Losing Face  Tokenism  Social Risk  Bursting the Bubble  Rocking the Boat  Conflict  Lack of “Authority” Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  8. 8. Open Acknowledgment Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  9. 9. Define the Opportunity Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  10. 10. NCBI Effective Interventions Model  Reduce Defensiveness – Tone – Body Language – Respect  Keep the Conversation Going – Hear Them Out – Ask Open-Ended Questions – Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment – Dialogue  Build the Relationship  Win an Ally Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  11. 11. Everything You Ever Wanted to Interrupt But Didn’t Know How To…  Think of trigger events of phrases  Which ones have proven most challenging?  Which ones would you like to strategize effective interventions for?  Strategize for different people: strangers, acquaintances, friends, family members, younger people, etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  12. 12. Practice Makes Less Heart-Attack-Inducing In pairs, please describe your challenge scenario. Role-play the scenario and the interventions you might use. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  13. 13. Sharing the Wisdom Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  14. 14. Effective Communication Models Common Threads Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity SUPPORTIVE DEFENSIVE Description Evaluation Problem-Orientation Control Spontaneity Strategy Empathy Neutrality Equality Superiority Provisionalism Certainty Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  15. 15. Assumptions and Interpretations • Mental Models • Ladder of Inference Belief Conclusions Selective Data Observable Data • Tools of Action Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  16. 16. 1. What did you see/hear (raw data)? 2. What are your personal filters (cultural values, norms, and identifiers)? 3. What was your interpretation of what you saw/heard (inference)? 4. How did you feel as a result? 5. What do you want? Checking Assumptions and Interpretations: Steps to Analyze Rosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong Lee ( Eun Ryong Lee (
  17. 17. Final Thoughts  We were all born innocent.  Impact matters more than intent.  Dialogue is more effective than debate.  You may not see the results of your efforts immediately. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  18. 18. Presenter Information Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  19. 19. Resources • Anti-Defamation League • Cross Cultural Connections ( • Facilitation First • Jimpact Enterprises, Inc. • National Coalition Building Institute • The People’s Institute • Stirfry Seminars • The Thiagi Group Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (