On the average, people are only
about 25% effective as listeners
• What is behind the words.
• What is the other person’s point of view
• All the things that might be in a person’s life or
from the context of his/her life that might
Rules for listening:
• Use body language to show interest
• Avoid distractions
• Don’t interrupt
• Listen with empathy and openness
• Use active listening techniques
Reflect and paraphrase
Components of Powerful
• Set your own agenda aside.
• Say what you heard to verify.
• Avoid making quick assumptions.
• Avoid deciding what you will say in response while the
individual is still talking.
Our knowledge, experience and
intention “filters” what we hear
and “influences” what we say
Are you really listening
…or are you just waiting
for your turn to talk?
“ Everyone wasn’t raised at your
1. Scan their faces and eyes
2. Look at their body
3. Examine what they are
4. Listen to their tone of
5. Bow, kiss or shake hands
6. Listen to their words
“The average four year old
asks three hundred questions
a day. The average college
graduate asks twenty.”
Larry Wilson, AON Consulting
Questions are a powerful yet simple
means to achieve a great deal:
• Find specific or necessary
• Establish strong
How Does This Sound?
It doesn't seem like you have a good understanding of the new products?
Why did you approach the customer that way?
How do you know your plan will work?
Are you sure that’s the right decision in this situation?
Have you tried to different means of negotiation with this customer?
Exercise - Group
Types of questions
1. Open ended vs. closed
2. General vs. specific
• What is the most helpful thing you can do in your
account right now?
• What would it take to help you get this done?
• What do you need from me to make this happen?
• What are the likely outcomes of your proposal?
1. Body language represents 55% of the
2. Read body language clues in clusters
and in context, then interpret.
3. Watch for cultural differences.
4. Watch out for the desire to ask leading