Igniting your motivation - how to get off your butt and achieve your life's goals


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Have you ever wanted to achieve something and started out strong, only to lose your motivation or get caught up in everyday life? This workshop takes recent research advances in behavioral economics, motivational theory, habit formation, and neuroscience as well as our own exclusive research into change to help you ignite your motivation and set up a system for achieving your life goals.

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  • Steps to the sale – not about the end sale – what do you need to do to get the sale.
  • Add in ideas on Mental Contrasting – going back and forth between the positive feeling of achieving the goal and the stark reality of those obstacles that stand in your way of achieving it – focus on the steps to achieve the goal.
  • Igniting your motivation - how to get off your butt and achieve your life's goals

    1. 1. IGNITE your motivation Five steps to get ting off your butt and achieving your life goals! Kurt Nelson, PhD President & Founder
    2. 2. Do you want to get off your butt?
    3. 3. And start achieving amazing things
    4. 4. But don’t know How?
    5. 5. I won’t tell you it’s easy…but you can do it!
    6. 6. You just need to start
    7. 7. 6 5-Step’s to Igniting your Motivation Discover your Drive re-Calibrate your Cues Enable your Environment Socialize your Strategy Plot your Progress
    8. 8. First – Discover your Drive To achieve a goal or drive change we all need to find that spark that ignites our passion!
    9. 9. So what do you want to achieve?
    10. 10. Ask yourself… “What are the goals that I want to achieve - but that I’m not achieving?” Stay focused Learn to play an instrument Watch less t.v. # 1 response on our change survey Be a better parent
    11. 11. Sometimes you need a trigger to get started…
    12. 12. Triggers There are 3 main types of triggers 1 2 3 Inner focused – something that is driven by an inner drive or unfulfilled goal Other focused – something that is driven by or for somebody else External focused – something that is driven by an external event or circumstance Regardless of type – these need to be emotionally compelling There are 3 speeds for triggers 1 2 3 Slow burn – this trigger has a long fuse and takes a long time to actually set off Quick pull – this one has a much shorter fuse and happens fast Automatic – this is almost unconscious – push the button and you are off
    13. 13. James’ Trigger James came home after work one night to find his 12-year old daughter Anna crying in her bedroom – a boy at school had called her “fat.” James comforted his daughter, but inside he was seething mad, “nobody hurts my little girl!” This 6’3” 245 pound man was set to go confront this boy and his family, when James’ more rational wife asked him, “what will that do for Anna? We need to set a positive example for her, not a negative one.” Those words triggered a spark in James and led to a journey for both him and his family where they made significant changes in what they ate and how they exercised.
    14. 14. And discover your underlying drive
    15. 15. To achieve this, the activity has to be such that it pushes the person and challenges them, but doesn’t challenge them so far beyond their ability that they can’t be successful. CHALLENGE When in a state of flow, people are engaged and lose their sense of time. They become immersed in the activity. Anxiety Boredom Low First described by Psychologist Mihaly Chizimihaly, flow is the state of optimal being. High Find your Flow Low SKILLS High
    16. 16. Find your Drive We are driven by a number of factors that typically fall into four main groups. Each of us has a unique mix of how these factors motivate us. Understanding which drives are strongest in us can help us ensure we are tapping into our underlying drives to achieve our goals. Acquire & Achieve Driven to acquire things, resources, pleasures and status 4 Drive Model Bond & Belong Driven to create positive relationships, engage, and “fit in” of Motivation Lawrence & Nohria Create & Challenge Define & Defend Driven to attain mastery, learn, improve and create Driven to defend status, ideas, relationships and define purpose
    17. 17. First – Discover your Drive Action Steps 1 Take 10-minutes and write down as many of your unachieved goals as you can – these can be big or small Now identify the top 1 to 3 that will impact your life – these are the ones that you will start with
    18. 18. First – Discover your Drive Action Steps 2 Take two minutes and visualize what it will feel like going through the process to achieve this goal. Close your eyes and picture yourself in the moment of doing. Imagine what you are going to “feel” like when you are working on this task. Lock this feeling in your memory.
    19. 19. First – Discover your Drive Action Steps 3 What was the feeling that you had when you were thinking about this goal and achieving it? Try to feel what this means to you – not what it will do for you – but what it means for you (get emotional). Write down a sentence, find a picture, make a mantra, that will remind you of this “emotional” component. Sometimes a mantra can help in reminding you about this feeling of achievement. My mantra is “100%” – it not only reminds me to keep working until completion, it also reminds me of the deep 100% sense of satisfaction I get when I finish something !
    20. 20. 1.5 – Prepare your Plan Develop a plan on what you need to do. We need to build the process for our success
    21. 21. You need to find out what is holding you back
    22. 22. Overcoming Blind Spots Identifying what is holding you back and what yo to do differently is hard. Our minds do a really job at keeping negative things about ourselves h from us. These “Blind Spots” can be small (i.e., not makin contact) or large (i.e., making promises that are kept; overreacting to criticism). One way to potentially shed light on your blind s to ask a true friend to point them out to you. Yo not like what they say, but you’ll be much better knowing. For more info on this topic, read Loretta Malan great book, Fearless Leadership
    24. 24. First – Discover your Drive Action Steps 1 For each of these goals, write down what you think is holding you back. Make the list as extensive as you can. Include both external and internal factors. Next ask a really good friend to review this list and see if they can find other factors that are holding you back. Ask them to be brutally honest with you - particularly about what you are doing that might be holding yourself back (and be open to what they say – you might not like what they tell you).
    25. 25. 1.5 – PREPARE YOUR PLAN Action Steps 2 Write down three actions that you need to do to achieve your plan and overcome obstacles. ONLY 3 ITEMS AND MAKE SURE THEY ARE ACTIONABLE. Print this out and post it visibly where you will see it everyday. If you think that this is too simple, focus on the first steps. For example, three steps to start writing a book: 1) conduct research 1 hour each day for next 3 weeks 2) write 2 pages every day – including weekends 3) resist editing pages until a chapter is complete
    26. 26. Second – reCalibrate your Cues We are creatures of habit. Much of what we do is set off by unconscious cues that we have developed over a lifetime “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle
    27. 27. We need to change the habits that are keeping us from achieving our goals.
    28. 28. Second – re-Calibrate your Cues Cues set off an automatic habitual response “So what are your cues?” Water glass on desk Waking up Having morning coffee
    29. 29. Second – re-Calibrate your Cues Habit loops Charles Duhigg, describes the “habit loop” in his book, The Power of Habit as follows: “First, there is a cue, a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use. Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional. Finally, there is a reward, which helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future.” Duhigg
    30. 30. Second – re-Calibrate your Cues Changing a habit Charles Duhigg, again states, “…to change a habit, you must keep the old cue, and deliver the old reward, but insert a new routine.” Insert new X Duhigg
    31. 31. Cues and rewards can be hard to identify - we often lack self-awareness about them...
    32. 32. Shaun’s Habit Shaun wanted to write a book and share some of his knowledge with the world. Like most of us however, he was a busy guy; he ran his own successful business, had an active family life, and was active in many social and service organizations. Knowing this, Shaun came up with a novel idea – he wrote two pages everyday on a yellow legal pad. That itself isn’t a new idea – but he did it when he arrived at work. Again, not that crazy of an idea. He wrote those two pages, sitting in his car, before work everyday. His trigger was arriving at the parking lot. Instead of getting out of his car and going into work, he changed his response and instead, grabbed his legal pad and started writing.
    33. 33. Identifying your Cues and Rewards Your Cues: Think about these things whenever you get an urge: Your Rewards: Think about these things regarding your habit: • • • • • • • What is the urge that your are responding to? • What satisfies that urge? What just happened? What is going on around you? What time is it? Who are you with? What do you see? What are you feeling?
    34. 34. SECOND – RE-CALIBRATE YOUR CUES Action Steps 1 Identify and write down the key habits that you need to change in order to implement your plan and achieve your goal. 2 Pick one or two habits and answer the following: cue routine reward “When ______, I will ____________ and it will do _______ .”
    35. 35. Third – Enable your environment Make it easy for you to succeed. “Make the wrong behavior hard and make the right behavior easy” Patterson
    36. 36. Two-minute rule If you can resist an urge for 2-minutes you have increased your likelihood of success by a factor of 4
    37. 37. Environmental & Emotional Environmental Emotional • • • • • • • • Negative nellies • Bad influencers (“just one more beer”) • Stress • Boredom Food in pantry TV in living room / bedroom E-mail settings Halloween candy Noisy work Internet on Phone Develop strategies to enable your success: • Shut down / move / hide • Establish rules – if this, then that / only talk to X on weekends • Technology – use timers / disable notifications If can’t remove – can you re-calibrate cue?
    38. 38. FOURTH – COMMUNICATE YOUR STRATEGY fourth – socialize your strategies Enlist other’s help to keep you on the path. We are creatures of habit. Much of what we do is set off by unconscious cues that we have developed over a lifetime “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle Socialize what you are going to do – not what you want to achieve
    39. 39. Three types: • Mentor – helps and what to do you know how • Referee – keeps you accountable • Wingman (partner) – the positive motivator and enthusiastic supporter
    40. 40. Identifying your Social Support Team Mentors: These are people who: Referees: These are people who: Wingmen: These are people who: • Have done it before • Have an expertise in the area you want to change • Can be honest with you • Someone you respect • Someone you don’t want to let down • Provide on going support • Are your cheerleaders • Your emotional counselors They will help you by: • Holding you accountable • Being brutally honest with you • Identifying blind spots They will help you by: • Being there for you • Encouraging you and pushing you to the next level • A shoulder to cry on They will help you by: • Acting as a coach • Providing insight • Acting as a sounding board for ideas • Helping plan
    41. 41. Paul’s Support Group Paul was running a very successful mid-size consulting firm…but he wanted more. He had an idea for his own business that kept calling to him. There was a vision of a colorful line of books on a bookshelf that were the catalyst for his publishing / speaking / coaching business. But he was scared. While he was running a firm, he had never started one on his own. So he enlisted help. First, his wife became both his referee and wingman. They together recruited a board of directors – before they even had a company. This board acted as both mentors and as referee’s – keeping him on task and focusing where he needed to put his efforts. Paul’s business – Good Leadership Enterprises is thriving. He has started one of the most successful monthly leadership seminars (the Good Leadership Breakfast), his book, “The 7-F’s” is a best seller, and he has been recognized as a top speaker by the National Speakers Association.
    42. 42. FOURTH – SOCIALIZE YOUR STRATEGY Action Steps 1 Write down 2 – 5 people who would be good support people for you. These are your candidates for your support team. Think about their strengths, their personalities, and how you interact with them. 2 Pick one and call them. Tell them what you are trying to do, ask them for their support. Explain exactly what you want them to do for you. Help them understand: 1. 2. 3. What you want of them How you want to get it from them How often you will need it
    43. 43. Fifth – plot your progress Progress Principle: “…of all the events that have the power to excite people and engage … the single most important is making progress – even if that progress is a small win” Teresa Amabile
    44. 44. You will drop the ball sometime – that’s ok…just make sure you don’t let it become a habit “Make this your new motto: ‘Never miss twice.’” James Clear
    45. 45. Automate your Tracking (Apps, Web & Tools) My Fitness Pal Lose It! Lift Goalscape Milestone Planner Joe’s Goals Way of Life Mindbloom Life Game Habit List Aherk! Habits stikK.com Streaks – Motivational Calendar Luminosity.com CheckMark Goals 43 Things Fitocracy Lifetick Nike Fuel Fitbit
    46. 46. Reward yourself: When you achieve milestones – give yourself a reward
    47. 47. FIFTH – PLOT YOUR PROGRESS Action Steps 1 Right now search for one or more of the apps we identified and download it to your device. Set it up for use. If none of these work for what you are trying to do – set up your own tracking system (wall chart, Outlook tracker, excel spreadsheet). Whatever it is, create your tracking system. 2 Set up your milestones. List out what they are. Make sure that these are not too big – or too little – but that they are big enough to be meaningful but not too big to be daunting. 3 Set up how you will reward yourself for specific milestones.
    48. 48. EXTRA CREDIT – HELP ME OUT I am doing research on purposeful change and asking for your help. I want to know about how you’ve successfully changed. What did you do? How did you do it? This research will help in further iterations of this workshop and the book that I’m writing on the subject. 1 Enter in this web site to take my survey on Purposeful Change… www.surveymonkey.com/s/How-I-changed Or contact me at: kurt@lanterngroup.com 612-396-6392
    49. 49. www.lanterngroup.com Kurt Nelson – 612-396-6392 © 2013 The Lantern Group, Inc. All rights reserved.