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  • 1. 1127 Paper 1 Preliminary Examination 1. 2010 at SHSS Some points to note written by Yeo Yam Hwee for use in the classroom on 3 June 2010 for ESSAY WRITING POST-MORTEM
  • 2. Section 1 Essay Questions
    • Children learn best by observing the behaviour of adults and copying it. What are your views?
    • Write about an occasion when you could not make up your mind about an issue and then something or someone decided it for you.
    • What factors should a student consider when choosing a co-curricular activity?
    • What opportunities do you think you have missed and how, if at all, would you be different if you had taken them?
    • Pride.
  • 3. Section 1 Question 1
    • Children learn best by observing the behaviour of adults and copying it. What are your views?
    • Two ways to treat this topic: We either work on it as an
    • Expository – Discursive  What are your views based on a particular stance you have taken? [You do this when you have a lot of relevant things to say about the statement based on a particular stance –usually to go along with the suggested thesis statement.]
    • or
    • Expository – Argumentative  What are your views for and against the statement? [You do this when you want to bring into focus the different views by highlighting the two major opposing thoughts.
    2. Introduction – [a] establish relationship between a child and an adult: parent – father / mother. [b] explain the expression “learn best” and the acts of “observing” and “copying”. [c] Very briefly, the stance which I am taking here.
    • Conclusion: Summarize your main view –
    • What you mention in BODY PARAGRAPHS A /B and C. Conclusion should be consistent with the stance you take as mentioned in Introduction.
    3. BODY PARAGRAPH A: Your most Important view. 4. BODY PARAGRAPH B: Your second most Important view. 5. BODY PARAGRAPH C: Your third most Important view. 6. Depending on whether you are treating this as a discursive or an argumentative essay, one will need to have ONE or TWO “HOWEVER” paragraphs to bring on the opposing view point [s].
  • 4. Section 1 Question 1
    • Children learn best by observing the behaviour of adults and copying it. What are your views?
    • TENSE –
    • Use Present Tense when you are writing about something which you think is a fact or is actually happening.
    • Use Present Tense when you are giving a general example which can happen to anybody.
    • Use Past Tense if you are giving a specific example which consists of situations which had happened in the past.
    2. STRUCTURE OF A DISCURSIVE ESSAY: THESIS STATEMENT TOPIC SENTENCE A TOPIC SENTENCE B TOPIC SENTENCE C REAFFIRMATION
    • Conclusion should be consistent with Introduction
    4. MEANING: Be careful to read and understand the thesis statement carefully before you begin writing. 5. Depending on whether you are treating this as a discursive or an argumentative essay, one will need to have ONE or TWO “HOWEVER” paragraphs to bring on the opposing view point [s]. 3. STRUCTURE OF AN ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY: STATING YOUR STANCE What you believe in versus what others think CONCLUSION
  • 5. Section 1 Question 2
    • Write about an occasion when you could not make up your mind about an issue and then something or someone decided it for you.
    Essay Type: Personal Recount /Narrative-Descriptive/ 2 - parter Write about an occasion when you could not make up your mind about an issue… … and then something or someone decided it for you. It was about me. It was about one significant occasion with regard to a challenging issue. Something happened or someone came along and made a decision for you that somehow changed your life, causing things to be different for you. Past Tense Use of “ I” – first person narrative Actions Thoughts Feelings
  • 6. Section 1 Question 2 Narrative / Descriptive S.T.A.R. Grid Resolution Trouble Action Setting
  • 7. Section 1 Question 3
    • What factors should a student consider when choosing a co-curricular activity?
    Introduction paragraph Body paragraph 1 Body paragraph 2 Body paragraph 3 Conclusion paragraph Body paragraph 4 STRUCTURES MEANING What is a co-curricular activity (CCA)? How is it related to you as a student? How important is CCA to you? Why do you have to choose a CCA? What happens when you make a correct choice? What happens if you do not? Is it easy to choose a CCA? Are there many factors in choosing a CCA? Most important factor Second most important factor Third most important factor Fourth most important factor Conclusion - a summation of the factors which contribute to helping a student select a suitable CCA during his stay with a school.
  • 8. Section 1 Question 3
    • What factors should a student consider when choosing a co-curricular activity?
    Essay Type: Expository – Discursive.
    • Is there anything for you
    • to talk about
    • pros and cons?
    • agreement and disagreement?
    • yes and no?
    • advantages and disadvantages?
    NO Introduction paragraph Body paragraph 1 Body paragraph 2 Body paragraph 3 Conclusion paragraph Body paragraph 4
  • 9. Section 1 Question 4
    • What opportunities do you think you have missed and how, if at all, would you be different if you had taken them?
    Essay Type: Personal Recount / Narrative-Descriptive / 2 parter Opportunities can change a person’s life. So A missed opportunity provides fodder for thoughts. Sometimes, a missed opportunity may generate regrets and sometimes, no particular misgiving. You may include the following types of missed opportunities: [a] those which have caused you now to regret to a certain extent / in varying degrees; [b] those which might have been tempting but have been chances you now look back and would still consider yourself fortunate for not having been tempted and [c] those missed opportunities which have turned out to be false hopes because once pursued, they might have turned you away from how you are pursuing your objectives in life now.
  • 10. Section 1 Question 4
    • What opportunities do you think you have missed and how, if at all, would you be different if you had taken them?
    TENSE What were the two or three (not too many in a short essay under timed conditioned) missed opportunities? These opportunities have to be FAIRLY RECENT ones given the use of PRESENT PERFECT TENSE – “HAVE MISSED” [and not “HAD MISSED”] Do not harp on about “missed opportunities” without identifying them. If you fail to identify your missed opportunities and explain why they were such to your reader, you cannot move on to the second part of the question. In a short essay of about 350 to 500 words, do not dwell on similar missed opportunities. Write about different things and how they may or may not have made you feel differently NOW. TENSE: Unpack carefully here: HOW, IF AT ALL, would you be different if you had taken them? Good and bad things might or might not have followed. Use verbs or expressions of supposition: If I had taken… / Had I known that… / How I wish I had… / If only I had done this or that…
  • 11. Section 1 Question 5
    • Pride
    May be attempted as [1] an expository – either purely discursive or argumentative essay Or [2] a narrative / personal recount essay – a first person narrative Or [3] a narrative account of an incident from a third person perspective. TENSE PRESENT TENSE – for making general comments / recurring examples for elaboration or use as supporting evidence PAST TENSE – for specific past incidents PAST TENSE PAST TENSE
  • 12. PAPER 1 SECTION 2
    • Situational Writing tests both your READING and WRITING skills.
    • You need to attend closely and accurately to TASK FULFILMENT using good LANGUAGE.
    • You have to take the given piece of information holistically and then figure out
    The F orm of your presentation The P urpose of your writing task The A udience who needs and reads your information Your R ole in the writing task
  • 13. PAPER 1 SECTION 2
    • Your effort in Situational Writing is scored based on:
    • TASK FULFILMENT = R + A + P + F 10/10
    • LANGUAGE = 20/20
    • TOTAL = 30/30
  • 14. Paper 1 Section 2
    • Never begin writing UNLESS and UNTIL you have finished READING the information completely.
    • Identify and ascertain your R OLE / your A UDIENCE / the P URPOSE of your writing task and the F ORM in which you are going to present your writing and bear that in mind always.  R-A-P-F
    • 3. Correct understanding and interpretation of R-A-P-F will help you in the shaping of TONE and with that comes the correct use of Language and choice of words in communicating with effectiveness.
  • 15. Paper 1 Section 2
    • You are advised to write between 250 and 350 words for this section. You should read the information carefully and plan your answer before beginning to write.
    READ
  • 16. Paper 1 Section 2
    • All students in graduating classes in your school are required to carry out Service Learning under the Community Involvement Programme (CIP). This year, the Principal has decided to allow the graduating class to work with any one organization of their choice. Several ideas have been raised as to how this can be best carried out.
    A phrase – a NOUN phrase - provides the THEME  REASON Or PURPOSE for your writing task. Be it a letter or a report, you will need an appropriate heading which adequately and accurately CAPTIONS for your Audience the PURPOSE of your writing task. REMEMBER: A NOUN PHRASE always makes a good heading.
  • 17. Paper 1 Section 2
    • All students in graduating classes in your school are required to carry out Service Learning under the Community Involvement Programme (CIP).
    • This year, the Principal has decided to allow the graduating class to work with any one organization of their choice.
    • Several ideas have been raised as to how this can be best carried out.
    The phrase “graduating classes” is mentioned twice here. The PRINCIPAL is a key player in this decision making. You have to read, understand and decide for yourself what to do with these ideas.
  • 18. Paper 1 Section 2
    • All students in graduating classes in your school are required to carry out Service Learning under the Community Involvement Programme (CIP).
    • This year, the Principal has decided to allow the graduating class to work with any one organization of their choice.
    • Several ideas have been raised as to how this can be best carried out.
    The phrase “graduating classes” is mentioned twice here. The PRINCIPAL is a key player in this decision making. You have to read, understand and decide for yourself what to do with these ideas. What do these nuggets of information trigger in you – the class chairperson of one of the graduating classes? [Now, of course, you wouldn’t have known that you are going to assume the role as a class chairperson unless you have read on further in the information provided.]
  • 19. Paper 1 Section 2
    • All students in graduating classes in your school are required to carry out Service Learning under the Community Involvement Programme (CIP).
    • This year, the Principal has decided to allow the graduating class to work with any one organization of their choice.
    • Several ideas have been raised as to how this can be best carried out.
    The phrase “graduating classes” is mentioned twice here. The PRINCIPAL is a key decision maker i What are you going to do with these ideas? This means that the Service Learning is going to be the FINAL one for my class.  SIGNIFICANCE It is only natural that you should be grateful and thankful to the Principal on behalf of your class for providing such an opportunity.  TONE Comparison / Pros and Cons / Interest and Capability based on given ideas  The WHY AND HOW - in the choice your class has made.
  • 20. Paper 1 Section 2 “Why don’t we go overseas? Such learning journeys performed overseas broaden our minds and horizons, allowing us to help our less fortunate counterparts abroad as well as teaching us to appreciate better all that we have at home. I guarantee you that nobody will take for granted our comforts that we enjoy in Singapore after the trip to, say, an orphanage in Cambodia.” What do I do with the information given to me in this manner?
  • 21. Paper 1 Section 2 “ Why don’t we go overseas ? Such learning journeys performed overseas broaden our minds and horizons, allowing us to help our less fortunate counterparts abroad as well as teaching us to appreciate better all that we have at home. I guarantee you that nobody will take for granted our comforts that we enjoy in Singapore after the trip to, say , an orphanage in Cambodia.” Overseas Service Learning Trip Meaning: For example Potential Benefits = Good Reasons This is a short listed suggestion. So although, “an orphanage in Cambodia” is only one of the many possibilities, we should not discard it. We should build on it instead to amplify this suggestion if we choose to go on an overseas service learning trip. We make full use of what is given to us.  See Suggested Answer.
  • 22. Paper 1 Section 2 “I say that charity starts at home. There are so many charitable organizations that require our help for example, the neglected and autistic children from SCS (Singapore Children’s Society) and MINDS (Movements for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore). They require us to spend time and interact with them as well as conduct a project to raise funds for these organizations.” What do I do with the information given to me in this manner?
  • 23. Paper 1 Section 2 “I say that charity starts at home. There are so many charitable organizations that require our help for example, the neglected and autistic children from SCS (Singapore Children’s Society) and MINDS (Movements for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore). They require us to spend time and interact with them as well as conduct a project to raise funds for these organizations.” ORGANISATION 1 ORGANISATION 2 CHOOSE TO WRITE ON EITHER ONE ONLY REMEMBER to follow all given instructions to the fullest.  READING ACCURACY.
  • 24. Paper 1 Section 2 “ Animals! They need our care and compassion. I know that the Society for The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA), for example, is always in need of volunteers and it is non-profit organization that looks after the welfare of animals which have been abandoned!” What do I do with the information given to me in this manner?
  • 25. Paper 1 Section 2 “ Animals! They need our care and compassion. I know that the Society for The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA), for example, is always in need of volunteers and it is non-profit organization that looks after the welfare of animals which have been abandoned!” What we have here is merely the BROAD idea. If you choose this option, then make sure you spell out the details  you are supposed to explain your choice.
  • 26. Paper 1 Section 2 “ If you ask me, I think that the environment is crying out for our time and attention. The resources of this world will dry up if we continue to use like there is no tomorrow. We can start small, for example, by cleaning the beach so as to stop pollution.” What do I do with the information given to me in this manner?
  • 27. Paper 1 Section 2 “ If you ask me, I think that the environment is crying out for our time and attention. The resources of this world will dry up if we continue to use like there is no tomorrow. We can start small, for example, by cleaning the beach so as to stop pollution.” Again here, we are only given the run-of-the-mill kind of talk shop about environmental protection. If this is your choice, you have to fill in the specific details to “personalise” your report. Make your report “real and convincing” to your principal.
  • 28. Paper 1 Section 2
    • As a class chairperson , gather feedback from your class and decide on the choice of organization your class would like to work with.
    My ROLE in this writing task: I am the class chairperson of a graduating class.
  • 29. Paper 1 Section 2
    • Write a report to your Principal , informing him or her of the organization you have chosen, giving the reasons for the choice of your class. Explain in detail why your class has chosen the organization and how it can develop skills, relationships and knowledge of the class.
    MY AUDIENCE – the person or the people who need or read my writing task is … VERY SPECIFIC PURPOSES WHICH YOUR WRITING TASK IS GOING TO COMMUNICATE TO YOUR PRINCIPAL.
  • 30. Paper 1 Section 2
    • Write your report in clear, accurate English with relevant explanations and details to interest and persuade the Principal that your choice is indeed the best one.
    The FORM of your writing task The GENERAL PURPOSE of your writing task
  • 31. Paper 1 Section 2
    • We must take a closer look at PURPOSE:
    • General Purpose: I have to interest and persuade the Principal that the choice I am presenting on behalf of my class is indeed the best one.
    • With specific purposes:
    • [a] informing him the specific organization you have chosen,
    • [b] giving the reasons for the choice of your class.
    • [c] explaining in detail why your class has chosen the organization
    • [d] explaining how it can develop skills, relationships and knowledge of the class.
  • 32. A suggested response: The Proposal Report To the Principal
    • To: Mr. Ong Kim Soon
    • Principal
    • St. Hilda’s Secondary School
    • From: Yeo Yam Hwee
    • Secondary 5B Class Chairperson
    • Date: 30 April 2010 (Friday)
    • Community Involvement Programme through Service Learning 2010
    • As requested I am glad to inform you that my class has considered various ideas for the abovementioned programme. We have chosen to work on the following project this year for our Service Learning: Building a classroom in the village orphanage at the Cambodia-Singapore Friendship Camp. The camp, located near Phnom Penh, the country’s capital, is managed by a batch of young Singaporean doctors. The camp management is currently calling for student volunteers from all over the world to visit and contribute their time and efforts to build a classroom for an orphanage under its care for children who have never been to school.
  • 33. Continuation…2 nd paragraph
    • I strongly think that we should make this year’s Service Learning an overseas learning journey and the Cambodia-Singapore Friendship Camp offers a timely opportunity. Firstly, many of us have never been to that country. A trip to Cambodia will broaden our minds and horizons because we get to see first hand, what a developing country looks like. When we visit with a specific purpose in mind, it makes that experience even more meaningful. We will learn diligently about the latest developments from the Cambodian people directly and we will form study groups to document our learning. We also savour any opportunities for us to work with people from other nationalities.
  • 34. 3 rd Paragraph
    • Secondly, l would like to add that the project to build a classroom allows us to help our less fortunate counterparts in Cambodia. This is an invaluable opportunity because even if we do not speak their language, we can use our goodwill and contribution to express our sincerity so as to cultivate our friendship with them. We will seriously use the opportunity as a motivation to learn conversational Cambodian and hopefully through daily interactions, all of us would be able to speak and understand it when communicating with the local people. We also think it is important for us to share with the Cambodians who and what we really are so that we can develop a strong and positive relationship with them. We are going to document our experience as Singaporeans and when an opportunity arises for us to do so, we shall present our experience here as a focal event in our cultural exchange with the Cambodians.
  • 35. 4 th Paragraph
    • Thirdly, I think if we take part actively in the project, it is going to be a unique and unforgettable experience. It will teach us to appreciate better all the care and concern our parents have bestowed upon us at home. I am certain that nobody will take for granted the creature comforts we enjoy in Singapore after the trip. As a whole the class is going to benefit tremendously from the Service Learning and our presence and participation will also build a link between our school and the Cambodia-Singapore Friendship Camp. I believe that this will greatly enrich our personal growth and character development.
  • 36. 5 th Paragraph
    • In our shortlist, some of us also express their wish to contribute time and effort to environmental protection by taking part in beach cleaning and visits to organizations such as SCS (Singapore Children’s Society) and MINDS (Movements for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore) or even the SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). We understand how important these organizations mean to us. We keep telling ourselves that we are going to make time for them. However, everybody is in agreement that because of the urgency of the invitation and timeliness of the event, the Cambodian trip is an important mission. We understand the importance of our roles as young ambassadors from St. Hilda’s Secondary School and it is a unanimous decision by us that we should make the trip there.
  • 37. Finally…the conclusion paragraph
    • In conclusion, I recommend that we visit as a class, the Cambodia-Singapore Friendship Camp to assist them in building a classroom in the orphanage for this year’s Service Learning. On behalf of my class, I sincerely hope to secure your approval to give us your permission, guidance and blessings to help us make our wish come true. We truly wish to make our lives meaningful and make ourselves useful to others who are less fortunate than us. I hope you will consider our proposal favourably.
    • Written by:
  • 38. END OF SLIDE PRESENTATION
    • THANK YOU