Everything Corinne Needs to Know about Led Zeppelin
The Early Years of Rock Were for Sissies
Everybody was playing bongos and harmonicas and stuff
Everybody wore suits and looked like a sissy
Everybody was afraid to play their instruments too loud because somebody might get mad
They were that band you just saw
Their first guitarist was some guy nobody cared about
Their second guitarist was Eric Clapton
Their third guitarist was Jeff Beck
Their fourth guitarist was Jimmy Page
But they still couldn't figure out how to not be sissies
The New Yardbirds
Jimmy Page was all like, “You guys suck and you don't know how to rock,” and the rest of the Yardbirds were all like, “we're so scared of your mean guitar playing, Jimmy.” Then they all went on tour together or something, and everybody but Jimmy Page left the band and Jimmy replaced them one by one with studio musicians to finish out the tour.
Here's that same song preformed at the end of that tour, “Dazed and Confused,” with Jimmy page and the new lineup.
The band changed their name to “Led Zeppelin” because they no longer sucked.
Members of Led Zeppelin
Corinne, memorize the names of these people. I will test you later.
He's the guitar player
He sometimes uses a violin bow
He sometimes plays a guitar with two necks
Sometimes, Led Zep's style is referred to as “riff rock,” because Jimmy came up with catchy “riffs,” or musical passages, that are repeated throughout the songs
His live guitar playing is kinda sloppy because he was high and drunk all of the time. Also, he got to do it with tons of girls.
Jimmy used lots of distortion and fuzz effects on his guitar.
He's the singer
He sings way up high like a girl and sometimes makes sex noises
He also put things in his pants to make his thingy look bigger on stage
His lyrics often deal with “The Lord of the Rings.” Really. Like hobbits and shit. Nobody knows why.
He is my favorite singer of all time
John Paul Jones
He's the bass player
He's really good
Often, the bass line in a Zep song mirrors the main guitar riff. In other words, the bass just plays what the guitar is playing an octave lower. This seems like a simple thing, but it was pretty innovative for the time and made for some kick ass songs, the most famous of which is The Immigrant Song .
He also played keyboards for the band, which filled out lots of their arrangements.
He's the drummer
He might be the best rock drummer who ever lived
He hit the drums very, very hard
He played drums that were physically very large
The word “Bombastic” is named after him
Oh my God, he is so good
He died because of alcohol and drugs, which is why Led Zeppelin eventually broke up
QUIZ! CORINNE! QUIZ!
Name all four members of Led Zeppelin. (Hint: use the following acronym: J ust P lease J ust P lease J ust R eally P lease J ust B athe)
Who played what?
Who put stuff in his pants to make his thingy look bigger?
Led Zeppelin were one of the few bands that focused on creating cohesive album experiences, not just singles. They're similar to The Beatles in that regard.
The first five or so Led Zeppelin albums are some of the best albums ever
The ones after that kinda suck IMHO
Led Zeppelin (I)
This album is good
It has lots of blues on it, which I don't like but some people do
Let's listen to some of it now!
Led Zeppelin II
This album is Very Good
The song “Heartbreaker” goes right into “Living Loving Maid (She's Just a Woman).” Radio stations love playing these two songs back-to-back because the DJ can take a bathroom break.
Led Zeppelin III
This album is Awesome
It has lots of Country-ish songs on it
It's is the album that you (Corinne) will most likely get into because it is kinda folksy
Led Zeppelin IV (ZOSO)
This is maybe the greatest album ever made
Most people think it's a “Greatest Hits” album because it's so freakin good.
Corinne, you need to know every one of these songs
Houses of the Holy
This is a Very Good album
It was controversial because of the naked kids on the cover
It's much less bluesy than the previous albums – John Paul Jones was playing many more keyboard parts using his new Mellotron
After “Houses of the Holy,” Zeppelin put out some other albums that I don't like as much so I'm not going to talk about them