2. I have been fortunate lately to have figured out how to lose weight and I
thought I’d share it with my FB friends.. I’ve dropped over 25 pounds in the
last 10 weeks.. You can too… Just follow these easy steps..
1. Look in the mirror and ask yourself who that
pig in the mirror is.
2. If you realize it’s you, then panic or grab
another slice of cake, pizza whatever
3. If you grabbed another slice, stop here.. Go
Home.. You will remain a pig.
4. If you panicked, continue reading, good for
you!
3. Good news.. You panicked… that means you
care.. Next steps;
• Call your doctor and make an
appointment
• Make sure he/she diagnoses you with
Diabetes (like he did to me) Even if you
don’t have it, let him diagnose you
• Let him tell you about blindness, kidney
failure, heart failure, loss of sensation
• Get the piss scared out of you!
4. Make a plan to reverse the problem.. Start with food..
• You Must be willing to give up 80% of the bread
you eat. Never white bread
• You must give up 80% of the alcohol you drink
• Do not drink sugary soda
• You must avoid eating tons of sweets
• You must get fiber, protein and some carbs in you
at every meal (not a chicken burrito!)
• Pretend your stomach is stapled.. Pretend only!
• Get rid of the potato chips
5. If you don’t want to give up those things then
stop here
You’re wasting everyone’s time. Call you doctor
and make sure you schedule 4 meetings a year
with him or her.. You’re gonna need them..
6. Then get in your car.. No reason to walk.. And go to
your favorite bakery..
Buy a whole
chocolate cake
that feeds 16…
Ask them to Deep
fry it…
Finish it there, at
the bakery.. Wash it down with a litre
of Coke..
7. Make sure your will is up to date…. But don’t forget
that just because you have no willpower, that’s this is
no reason not to support your friends who do…don’t
be an angry, jealous person.. support those who
actually are trying to get healthier..
8. Now that you want to lose weight and get healthier,
it’s time to think about exercise..
• Practice getting up at 4:45 AM
• Find a Gym open at 5 AM
• Don’t break the alarm clock.. Get up lard ass
• Go to the gym.. If you did nothing but go to the
gym you burned more calories than if you stayed
sleeping
• Watch people work out.. Sit there, stretch, watch
the fat guy who is heavier than you sweat.. It is
really motivating
9. Go to work that day and tell all of your friends that
“you go to the gym”.. They’ll be impressed even if
they don’t know that you are there just staring at
people working out… it’s a start!
The next day… the very next day.. You will begin to
work out.. Trust me..
You will fucking hate working out at 5 AM..
Hate it…Treadmill sucks!
10. But… over the next few days.. You will see
progress! Yippee!
Shit! This could work.. I could actually do this..
I want to do this.. My family needs me to do
this.. This is going to work..
11. As the weight starts coming off.. 1 pound, 2
pounds 4 pounds.. Your family members (who
truly care for you and mean well) will say “Don’t
lose too much”.. Huh? I am shitting in the tub and
they want me to “not lose too much”? Wha??
Then you realize that the more
successful you are, the more pressure
you put on those who need to lose
weight also to follow your lead.. They
hate that!
12. But they really do love you, and because you love
them maybe you can get them to join you… lot’s
of brothers and sisters in the gym I go to.. It’s a
great thing..
Share your recipes… share your meals… but
most importantly, share your success with
everyone!
13. And that’s it… it’s that easy.. that’s how I have lost
over 25 pounds in 10 short weeks..
• I am not a doctor
• I don’t care about what others say
• I do care about my health and my family
• They care about me
• Is that junk food REALLY that important
• Do you need 10 beers? Isn’t 2 good?
• Wouldn’t it be nice to shop for clothes in
normal stores?
• Don’t you just feel better? I do!
14. Here’s my guarantee..
• If you follow these simple, yet demanding steps,
you will lose weight and feel better about
yourself and others will respect you for what you
are doing..
• If it doesn’t work, I will refund you everything I
charged you for this information!
Nothing!
You can do this!
