I have been fortunate lately to have figured out how to lose weight and Ithought I’d share it with my FB friends.. I’ve dropped over 25 pounds in thelast 10 weeks.. You can too… Just follow these easy steps..1. Look in the mirror and ask yourself who that pig in the mirror is.2. If you realize it’s you, then panic or grab another slice of cake, pizza whatever3. If you grabbed another slice, stop here.. Go Home.. You will remain a pig.4. If you panicked, continue reading, good for you!
Good news.. You panicked… that means youcare.. Next steps;• Call your doctor and make an appointment• Make sure he/she diagnoses you with Diabetes (like he did to me) Even if you don’t have it, let him diagnose you• Let him tell you about blindness, kidney failure, heart failure, loss of sensation• Get the piss scared out of you!
Make a plan to reverse the problem.. Start with food..• You Must be willing to give up 80% of the bread you eat. Never white bread• You must give up 80% of the alcohol you drink• Do not drink sugary soda• You must avoid eating tons of sweets• You must get fiber, protein and some carbs in you at every meal (not a chicken burrito!)• Pretend your stomach is stapled.. Pretend only!• Get rid of the potato chips
If you don’t want to give up those things thenstop here You’re wasting everyone’s time. Call you doctor and make sure you schedule 4 meetings a year with him or her.. You’re gonna need them..
Then get in your car.. No reason to walk.. And go toyour favorite bakery.. Buy a whole chocolate cake that feeds 16… Ask them to Deep fry it… Finish it there, at the bakery.. Wash it down with a litre of Coke..
Make sure your will is up to date…. But don’t forgetthat just because you have no willpower, that’s this isno reason not to support your friends who do…don’tbe an angry, jealous person.. support those whoactually are trying to get healthier..
Now that you want to lose weight and get healthier,it’s time to think about exercise..• Practice getting up at 4:45 AM• Find a Gym open at 5 AM• Don’t break the alarm clock.. Get up lard ass• Go to the gym.. If you did nothing but go to the gym you burned more calories than if you stayed sleeping• Watch people work out.. Sit there, stretch, watch the fat guy who is heavier than you sweat.. It is really motivating
Go to work that day and tell all of your friends that“you go to the gym”.. They’ll be impressed even ifthey don’t know that you are there just staring atpeople working out… it’s a start!The next day… the very next day.. You will begin towork out.. Trust me..You will fucking hate working out at 5 AM..Hate it…Treadmill sucks!
But… over the next few days.. You will seeprogress! Yippee!Shit! This could work.. I could actually do this..I want to do this.. My family needs me to dothis.. This is going to work..
As the weight starts coming off.. 1 pound, 2pounds 4 pounds.. Your family members (whotruly care for you and mean well) will say “Don’tlose too much”.. Huh? I am shitting in the tub andthey want me to “not lose too much”? Wha??Then you realize that the moresuccessful you are, the more pressureyou put on those who need to loseweight also to follow your lead.. Theyhate that!
But they really do love you, and because you lovethem maybe you can get them to join you… lot’sof brothers and sisters in the gym I go to.. It’s agreat thing..Share your recipes… share your meals… butmost importantly, share your success witheveryone!
And that’s it… it’s that easy.. that’s how I have lostover 25 pounds in 10 short weeks..• I am not a doctor• I don’t care about what others say• I do care about my health and my family• They care about me• Is that junk food REALLY that important• Do you need 10 beers? Isn’t 2 good?• Wouldn’t it be nice to shop for clothes in normal stores?• Don’t you just feel better? I do!
Here’s my guarantee..• If you follow these simple, yet demanding steps, you will lose weight and feel better about yourself and others will respect you for what you are doing..• If it doesn’t work, I will refund you everything I charged you for this information! Nothing! You can do this!
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