District 83 | Division D | Vol 1 | Issue 1
Club # 4434
Club # 4864
Art of Speaking
Club # 6847
Club # 739438
Club # 960992
I n t h i s i s su e … .
Bring to table in 2010 — p5
Greatest Scam — p11
What is more important — p13
Greetings for a Wonderful
and Joyous 2010
Help me Help you. Help me Help you..
From the desk of Area 43 Governor
Greetings for a Happy and Healthy 2010.
Toastmasters International defines the role of an Area Governor as being responsible for the overall well being of all
clubs that make up the Area. The official responsibilities also include providing support to the clubs, strengthening
them by encouraging inter-club interaction, sharing of best practices, and solving issues specific to every club while
acting as a conduit facilitating two-way communication between the clubs and the District.
When I thought about accomplishing all that, an Area Newsletter came to mind almost immediately. That initial
thought has brought to fruition what you now hold (electronically, if not physically) in your hands. It is the perfect
culmination of an effort undertaken by a whole bunch of people united in one common purpose - To further the vision
of Toastmasters by going beyond the regular club meeting. My heartfelt appreciation for all these folks – whether they
provided articles, pictures or clarifications. I also applaud Kumar Kolaganti, Asst Area 43 Governor, Public Relations,
for using his acute visual prowess to format and publish this newsletter. We are indeed very fortunate to be able to
tap his talent and energy.
George Corrado, Director of Toastmasters Leadership Institute for District 83 aptly says, “Toastmasters extends far
beyond the four walls of your club.” He couldn‟t be more right. Expand your Toastmasters horizon and attend an Area
Contest, a Division Contest, or a District Conference; volunteer for a Conference committee – the opportunities are
many and they are yours for the taking.
We have a dedicated team of District 83 officers in place to help you, including Division D Governor, Sarah Van
Valkenburg, myself, and Kumar. There‟s also the Area 43 council comprising of all Club Presidents, VP-Education and
VP-Membership. That is a lot of individuals, all coming together to ensure the success of every Area 43 club member.
Reach out to me or any of them for any and all help to accomplish your goals.
As a partner in your Toastmasters journey, I look forward to hearing not just your club/personal success stories but
also the challenges that you face, so we can work to resolve them during the remaining six months of this year. Of the
following, I have no doubt in my mind:
District 83 has the clue,
To a Better version of You;
Area 43 shall unfurl,
A Better version of the World!
While I am no Tom Cruise, the title of this message borrowed from the movie „Jerry Maguire‟ sums up my sentiment
quite well: “Help Me Help You. Help Me Help You…”
Hitender Mittal, CC, ALB
Area 43 Governor (2009-10)
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! It
is my pleasure to release the first Area 43
newsletter for 2009-10.
Congratulations to Toastmasters International for
celebrating their 85th anniversary this year. The
vision of Dr. Ralph Smedley 85 years ago has
resulted in the most successful self help program
for developing communication and leadership
skills, with more than 250K+ members worldwide
reaping its benefits.
This newsletter has something to whet everyone's
appetite. There are updates from all clubs in Area
43, articles from your fellow Toastmasters on
contemporary topics of common interest, as well
as some of the key events captured via pictures
that transpired during the first six months in our
Area and the District 83. I hope you enjoy this
edition and find it useful in gaining an awareness
about other clubs in our Area as well as a sense of
fellowship and camaraderie.
I thank our Division D governor for providing an
inspirational opening note for the newsletter,
along with a call to action to complete our
unfinished goals in the second half of this year. I
would also like to thank all the members who
extended their support through contributions,
suggestions and more. Special thanks to Hitender
Mittal for driving me to publish this newsletter
and for all his efforts in obtaining the content and
the pictures. I welcome your valuable comments,
and invite you to be a part of the future
Kumar Kolaganti, ACB, ALB
Asst. Area 43 Governor, Public Relations (2009-10)
The Halfway Point ADVERTISEMENT HEADING
A note from The Division D Governor
Happy New Year Area 43 and greetings from your 2010
Division D Governor. During the 2009 holiday season
and all your year end celebrations, I‟m sure that
you and yours enjoyed many reflections of your District 83
year, while looking forward to 2010. In your May 15/16 Spring Conference
commitment to the Toastmaster‟s Program,
reflections and forward projections are also a 2010
sentiment that is appropriate at this time of year. at
Because the Toastmaster‟s year begins on July 1, RAMADA Conference Center
we are actually at the halfway point of this
Toastmaster‟s term. We have 6 months left to 130 Route 10 West • East Hanover, New
achieve and focus on all the great goals that we set
back in July. Take a look at your goals and review
what you have accomplished as an individual Contact: Rochelle Joyner, DTM – Spring
member – did you give all the speeches you planned
Registration Chair (firstname.lastname@example.org)
to in order to continue forward in your speech
manuals? Did you serve in a variety of club meeting
roles to continue completing your CL manual? Did
you begin your HPL project, serve as a club mentor,
sponsor a new club, help with a club or area
contest or participate in many of the different
things that Toastmaster‟s has to offer? If you didn‟t
manage to make it happen, the good news is that
it‟s not too late. In the remaining 6 months of this
Toastmaster‟s year, don‟t forget to focus and
harness whatever ambitions you have set for
yourself. Don‟t forget to reflect, re-strategize and
plan at this halfway point while you still have 6
entire months to make a mark in for your own
development needs and to contribute to the goals
of Area 43, Divison D, District 83 and the
Toastmaster‟s Program. Should you have any
questions or need any assistance, please do not
hesitate to contact me directly, so that during the
last half of this year you will have every
opportunity to transform into a Better You and a
Better World. Toastmasters International is celebrating its
85th anniversary this year. From its humble
beginnings in 1924, the organization has grown
Sarah Van Valkenburg, ACB, CL into a worldwide network of nearly 250,000
Division D Governor (2009-10)
members in more than 12,500 clubs in 106
What do we bring to the TABLE in 2010?
What do we bring to the TABLE in the year 2010? What is it to be Healthy? In simple words by
Marcus Valerius Martial “Life is not merely to be
Aspirations alive, but to be well.” To be healthy is not just a
Unfinished tasks of previous years New Year resolution, but an everyday resolution.
Wealth is not just possessing money, but how to
Enthusiasm save and spend money. In these financially
uncertain contemporary times, an unknown writer
Each one of us has ASPIRATIONS all through our summed it up very well when he said “A person
life. These become more intensified when a year who doesn’t know where his next dollar is coming
passes by and another year comes by as we look from usually doesn’t know where his last dollar
forward for the best possibilities. It was well said went.”
by Samuel Johnson a writer, poet and critic of 17th
century that “Our aspirations are our
If you are not using your smile, you are like
someone with a million dollars in the bank
and no check book
It is those unfinished TASKS that drive us to set our
goals and fill our mind and heart with lots of The truth is -WEALTH is everyone‟s top priority to
EXPECTATIONS to accomplish. It is said that “High achieve as a goal every year. We have to realize it
achievement always takes place in the framework requires FINANCIAL PLANNING to fulfil our needs
of high expectation.” This is why it is so important and lead to a prosperous future.
that we hold ourselves responsible to a higher
standard than anybody else expects of us. It is our The thoughts and experience of great and famous
mindset that will roll our attitudes. And the key to personalities are put together to inspire our lives.
success is „POSITIVE ATTITUDE’ - asking how What more can be said than these simple words by
something can be done rather than saying it can‟t Benjamin Franklin,
be done. “A penny saved is a penny earned.”
Positive attitude changes our way of life with more Let us save the best past memories and have an
energy, more happiness and more ENTHUSIASM. enthusiastic start with a SMILE. Les Giblin, a
We experience in our daily lives that nothing great famous author of inspirational books says “If you
was ever achieved without enthusiasm. are not using your smile, you are like someone
with a million dollars in the bank and no check
Let us have a great start not with promises and
hopes, but with a solid plan for a HEALTHY,
WEALTHY and PROSPEROUS FUTURE. Start by Have a Happy Healthy, Wealthy and Prosperous
setting meaningful and worthwhile goals. New Year!
Remember – it is better to have a good plan today
than a perfect plan tomorrow.
Art of Speaking
Update on ACES – an Advanced Club Update on Jim Friend Toastmasters
ACES pre - Xmas meeting: On Dec. 14th ACES Early this year, we achieved a major milestone
held a White Elehant gift exchange. A wrapped in our club history. We named our club in honor
gift was selected and then the TM related why of a distinguished member and club mentor,
this item, which the donor didn't want, was the Jim Friend. Over the course of many years Jim‟s
recipients greatest present positive disposition, overwhelming enthusiasm,
and kindred spirit assisted the club in many
Following the White Elephant gift exchange we ways. In honor of his memory and a tribute to
held a Table Topic session in which "Calories" his outstanding work, after his passing, our
was the Theme. The following were a few of members decided to rename the Brooklynites
the statements the presented: Toastmasters club of Metuchen to Jim Friend
Cookie pieces contain no calories Toastmasters club.
because the process of breakage causes We are a club of achievers. Our focus remains
calorie leakage. the same and in the spirit of Toastmasters – to
If you eat standing up, the calories all become the speaker and leader we all want to
go to your feet and get walked off. be and more importantly achieve that
exuberant confidence that at the end of the
Food eaten at Xmas parties has no
day will make us a better person.
calories, courtesy of Santa.
We are doing quite well and achieved several of
Stressed is just desserts spelled the DCP goals. Since taking over as the
backwards president in the last couple of months, I have
We had a fun filled evening. Wish you were been working towards energizing the club
there. Join us on Jan 25th for our next regular membership. Very soon we may see 3 new
meeting at the Iselin Library, at 6:45PM members in our roster and along with the team
I am planning for a membership drive to
increase our membership. We want to achieve
Aces will be leading a Club Officer Training the distinguished status yet keep the club size
session at the Iselin library on Feb. 6, at 10:15
manageable to allow for individual growth.
AM Contact Lee Abramson if you plan to attend
and for which office. It's important to know One of our members, Tom Somers, just
who will be attending. Your cooperation will be wrapped his Competent Communicator manual
appreciated. for the 4th time. That is an impressive 40
Jim Friend Toastmasters is fortunate to have
Lee Abramson,DTM,PDG, several senior members on its roster. Several of
President, ACES these members are DTM‟s and have embraced
Jim Friend for their continued growth. These
members will be guiding us as we reshape and
emerge energized in 2010.
Did You Know?
The proposed presidential theme for the year 2010-2011 Mahesh Harvu
by Senior Vice President Pat Johnson is "Toastmasters: President, Jim Friend Toastmasters
Achieving Greatness Together." To help the broader
Toastmasters International organization reach its goal of
increased unity and brand awareness, please use this
theme during your club's PR and membership
Area 43/44 Fall 2009 Tall Tales and Table Topics Contest
Contest Participants and Officials (L to R): Jaclyn Lee, Tony Lin, Jim Samuel, Khajan Gowda (Area 44
Governor), Tom Somers (District 83 LGET), Randi Sumner, Mark A. Vasquez, Sarah Van Valkenburg (Division
D Governor), June Pang, Saikat Maitra.
District 83 has run three Club Newsletter
contests this year, and a fourth one is currently
underway. Prizes are awarded for "Most
Creative", "Most Inspirational", "Most
Informational", and "Best Layout" categories.
Your club VPPR should have received
information about this. Reach out if you need
help launching this endeavor for your club.
It is easier than you think!!
The Turnaround: A Club’s Journey forward, the Open House turned out to be an
Back to the Zenith interesting, informative and fun filled meeting.
There was just one catch – only three guests
The 2008-09 Toastmasters year was a good one for
Woodbridge Toastmasters club. We finished the year What went wrong?
with a “President‟s Distinguished Club” award. It I was expecting a Throng!
was time to celebrate and revel in our moment of We did let them know,
glory. What came next, however, wasn‟t what we Where did they all go?
had in mind or planned for – the „Attrition monster‟ Little did I resent,
reared its ugly head. Within a month, eight „Coz it was an exciting event!
dedicated and enthusiastic members had to leave The meeting had non-stop action,
due to job or health-related reasons. The members gleamed with Self
Soon we were short of people for filling up the
With three guest forms handed out
meeting roles, including speakers for the prepared
We went home, happy and proud!
speeches. Ten minutes into the meeting, we would
Do you best, say hello, or just be
still be scrambling to put a complete and workable
agenda in order. That is not a pretty picture when
Strive for excellence, Success will follow!
there are Guests watching - wondering what is going
on and what they are in for. Needless to say, they
Though we had less than expected guests on
got a sense of the obvious.It was a catch twenty two
the Open House day, queries have been pouring
situation. Member attrition affected the quality of
in since then. Some people saw the notice
our meetings which:
later; some saw it but could not come that
Affected our Guest-to-Member conversion ratio, evening; some heard about it for the first time
and when they read the pamphlet or our poster
Affected the morale of existing members.
and weren‟t sure until a friend recommend it.
It was a problem that needed a quick and effective As a result, we have had guests visit our
solution. The club officers answered the call and meetings continuously and have even gained a
sprung into action. It was collectively decided to few new members. If you sow enough seeds the
launch a series of initiatives, starting with a crop will come.
membership drive and an Open House. Club members If you are a Toastmaster reading this,
pitched in and spread the word by putting up posters remember, no matter what, you are more
and pamphlets in the local libraries, e-mail important to the club than you might think and
invitations to former Guests and personal invitations you have more within you than you might know.
to new prospects. What you and I do at each meeting from being
The objective was to make the Open House meeting a timer to a Toastmaster, counts ! With how
a success. The club invited ex-members, got much enthusiasm and sincerity we do, counts
commitment from existing members and sought help even more than how well we performed .
from the Area Governor. Accountability personified Because, remember People don‟t join a
itself when Lee Abramson came to deliver a “club”, they join the people in the club. They
Successful Club Series speech at the meeting, while join you.
his wife was recuperating at home from a recent Smita Agarwal
surgery. With everyone putting their best foot President, Woodbridge Toastmasters
Update from Wood B Public Speaking - That's Not All It Is
The Wood B Communicators formed about three Toastmasters is synonymous with public
years ago in late 2006. It has been a remarkable speaking. Afraid of standing up in front of an
journey thus far and we look forward to more of audience?
the same. As a corporate-based club, one of the Join Toastmasters. But we know as members,
nice benefits has been a chance to interact with that leadership plays an important role within
colleagues from different parts of the the Toastmasters arena. BUT even that is not the
organization with whom we might not otherwise end of it.
cross paths. Our club is modest in size with a
very enthusiastic core. Besides learning to
become better speakers, another rewarding facet I believe the underpinnings to improvement with
of our club is what we learn about each other as speaking and leadership is confidence.
individuals, whether it be heartaches or joyous Confidence in ourselves. The knowledge that we,
moments in our respective lives. The club as individuals, can accomplish any task put forth
members are very supportive of each other; even in front of us. Confidence is built in stages.
when we give constructive feedback on our Typically we tend to compare ourselves to others
speeches, we search for the most positive way to instead of comparing ourselves to, none other
do so. This makes for a very encouraging club and than, OURSELF!
a wonderful way to spend our lunch hour twice a
As the Toastmaster progresses through the
communicator and leadership programs, they are
Ken Felsher, CC building confidence in themselves one step at a
VP, Public Relations, Wood B Communicators time. So many people drop out of programs
because they don't feel they can achieve the
ultimate objective. But with Toastmasters, there
is no time limit. Instead of taking giant steps
Did you know? towards achievement, the more realistic
Getting folks to focus during the holidays and submit arti- approach is to complete smaller steps within self
cles wasn't easy. Besides the usual coaxing and cajoling, defined timelines. So for 2010, I would urge
doggerel such as the one below helped provide the moti- everyone to continue on the road of
vation. achievement, building confidence in one self,
Give up the Dow, one step at a time. As the famous inspirational
At least for now; writer, Matthew Kelly, has penned - "Be a Better
Version of Yourself". Here's for a better 2010 and
Say No to the chips,
a better life towards building, a better world.
Take a break from the flicks;
Leave alone that cookie, Happy New Year!
And get going, you rookie;
Let go of the wine and beer, Fred Eng, CC
Unleash your inner Shakespeare; President, Art of Speaking
Make a strong start,
So Picasso would say "Now that's Art!";
However, save your Thesis,
Just submit a Précis;
- Hitender Mittal, CC, ALB, Area 43 Governor
Achieving another Competent Communicator Award
Achieving the Competent Communicator award is the visual aids for my first Competent
aspiration of most new Toastmasters members. Why Communicator award. I made the mistake of
would someone want to complete two, three or even running PowerPoint in automatic slide show
four Competent Communicator awards? After mode, where the slides advanced automatically
finishing my forth Competent Communicator award, after a giving amount of time. During practice
allow me to tell you my experience. it worked perfectly, but not so well at the club.
I got nervous, lost my place, spoke fast and the
Back in 2005, just after I finished my first Competent speech and slides were never in synch. Doing
Communicator, I was a little hesitant about starting the project on Visual Aids a second time
a second. I wanted to work towards my Advanced allowed me to use PowerPoint correctly and to
Communicator Bronze, but that was going slow. The manually advance slides when I was ready. I
reason for the slow start was finding topics for my found that you could learn from all the projects
advanced manuals. I had many speech ideas, but in the Competent Communicator manual. Even
couldn‟t use them because they didn‟t meet the for the Ice Breaker, I still get a little nervous
objectives of Advanced Manual‟s speech topic. I speaking in front of a group of people,
remember one great speech idea I had about a gift I especially when you speak about yourself?
received from a family friend, but that didn‟t fit well
with the “Speaking to Inform” or “Persuasive
I did some experimenting during my journey for
Speaking” manuals. Past District Governor Radhi
a Fourth Competent Communicator award. I
Spear encouraged me to go after another Competent
discovered that different groups react
Communicator award. I did and the flood gates
differently to the same speech. I gave a
opened. All those speech ideas become speeches for
speech entitled “Have you ever done something
my second Competent Communicator manual,
you shouldn‟t have done?” The audience was
because the projects allowed me to speak on most
slow to get interested. I then gave the same
any topic. I spoke as a target speaker at evaluation
speech at another club, but with a different
contest. A club needed a speaker and I spoke for
title named “A night at Self Storage.” The
them. Before I knew it, I had another Competent
audience laughed at the title and was involved
Communicator award. I now always keep a
from the beginning which made presenting the
Competent Communicator manual available, so that I
speech much easier for me. Doing the speech a
can use it for any speech idea I come up with.
second time also allowed me to implement the
recommendations from my evaluator.
I was once told “Why do another Competent
Communicator, work toward your Advanced
Communicator, because you already achieved the Hail to the Competent Communicator award. I
Competent Communicator award.” Deep inside, I encourage you to go after your second, third or
felt I could still improve on the projects in the basic how ever many you want to achieve. The
manual. I remember presenting a speech on using benefits are plenty. You get to present those
speech ideas you have been collecting. You get
to practice and put to the test the ideas and
DID YOU KNOW? recommendations from your evaluators. And
All US clubs must file IRS form 990-N for any given year no later finally, experiment, try new things and see how
than May 15 of the following year. Failure to file by the due the audience reacts.
date could cause the club to lose their nonprofit tax exempt
status. Refer to the following webpage for detailed instructions Thomas Somers ACS/ALB
compiled by Toastmasters International on how to satisfy this Lt. Gov. of Education and Training
The Greatest Scam Ever Sold
What we can learn from the Bernie Madoff scandal?
65 Billion Dollars! 65 Billion Dollars! That's how he told you these were some of his clients? One of the
much money Bernie Madoff swindled out of his most powerful weapons of influence is the consensus
clients over the course of 40 plus years. His clients of others on which this principle of social proof is
were the rich, famous and some of the largest based. We look to others for direction about what
charities and foundations in the world. How did he choices to make, especially when we are uncertain.
gain their trust? What can we learn from the This principle is commonly used in affinity fraud
greatest swindler of our generation? where a specific group such as an ethnic or religions
group is targeted with a scheme. When you show
Social psychologist Robert Cialdini researched what people what others similar to them are doing, they
makes us comply with a request and concluded are likely to follow. Many prominent executives and
there are six primary ways we are persuaded organizations were influenced to invest with Madoff
psychologically and emotionally. In his
because of this principle.
book, Influence: Science and Practice, he calls
them "principles of influence".
The last principle of influence used by Madoff was:
The Principle of Reciprocation
In order to understand the Madoff crime, let‟s look
at how Bernie used three of these principles of
influence. How many of you have repaid someone who has done
something for you? It could be as simple as giving you
advice or a gift. This is called reciprocation. We will
The first principle of influence used by Madoff repay others for what they have done for us.
was: The Principle of Authority Businesses do this all the time with giveaways such as
timeshare prizes. How did Bernie Madoff use this? He
People are easily influenced by what they perceive raised the most money and made the largest donation
as legitimate authorities such as credentials, titles to the charities that eventually rewarded him with
and expertise. How many of us have made a decision their investment portfolios. He gave clients the
based on a title, appearance or possession someone opportunity to be part of an exclusive list by
has? There is a tendency for people to confuse invitation only. Would you feel obligated to give
symbols of authority with true substance. How did something back after being rewarded with so much?
Bernie Madoff use this? He was the former Chairman
of the NASDAQ stock exchange; he sat on the board
of major charities and was the president of a money In addition to using these principles of influence,
management firm. Madoff was a respected authority Madoff had a thorough understanding of human
and used it to gain his victims credibility and trust. nature; especially how pride, vanity and greed
The next principle of influence used by Madoff
As you can see, these are some of the principles of
was: The Principle of Social Proof
persuasion that Madoff used. Being aware of them can
help you understand if you‟re being influenced by
Steven Spielberg, Mort Zuckerman (owner of the them and give you a better understanding of
Daily News and US News and World Reports), Fred how “The Greatest Scam ever sold” was executed.
Wilpon (NY Mets owner), major foundations, banks
and charities. These were some of the investors who
were duped into Wall Street's biggest Ponzi scheme.
Would you have handed money over to Madoff after Dirk French
Art of Speaking Club
Division D Fall 2009 Tall Tales and Table Topics Contest
Sarah Van Valkenburg,
Division D Governor
Contest Participants (L to R): Richard Cavanaugh, Mark Vasquez, Irina Dymarsky, Isaak Gelbinovich, June
Pang, Chris Hansen, John Weibel, Randi Sumner
Contest Winners (L to R): Sandra Graham Mason (Tall Tales, 1st place), John Weibel (Tall Tales, 2nd place),
Chris Hansen (Table Topics 1st place), Isaak Gelbinovich (Table Topics 2nd place), Mark A. Vasquez (Table Topics
Who’s more important? Five Answers
As I was thinking of the holiday season, with everybody I meet greeting me “Happy Holidays”, I felt very
happy and the last thing on my mind is something unpleasant in these kinds of times.
I was wondering what gifts I should buy for my daughter for this Christmas and wanted to consult my wife,
about what her opinion would be. “How about an electronic toy like the latest DS-Eye”, I suggested to my
wife. She said, “No electronics. I want to buy her a beautiful dress.” She snapped. I felt hurt. She put down
my suggestion so mercilessly? How could she? So I insisted “No. It has to be what she always wanted, which
is the DS-eye from Nintendo. We should buy what she wants.” My wife said “You mean what you want to
buy for her? It must be a dress. She needs a good one this time”. Again, no respect. Absolutely no respect. I
got so mad.
What am I getting into? This is holiday time and happy time right? Why am I getting into something
unpleasant? Why am I being pulled into a conflict all the time? Don‟t conflicts have a time and reason to
raise their ugly heads?
That brings us to the topic of this article: “Conflict Management”. When I say the word conflict, the
associated words that come to my mind are war, battle, argument, clash and so on. What do you say? Do
any positive words come to your mind when you hear the word “conflict”? I don‟t. Let us see the definition
of this term. So I looked it up in a dictionary and this is what I found. “A conflict is a negative emotional
state of mind that arises because one has to choose between incompatible goals and impulses”. Wow! So
even in the definition there is no positive connotation.
Benefits of Conflict Management:
As we just saw, conflicts come all the time. They come in difficult times, as well as in happy times. The
only choice we have left is to decide whether we are going to manage the conflict or leave it to itself.
Have you ever wondered if it is possible to come out of a conflict in such a manner that you and your
conflict partner are both happy and fully satisfied with the result? Yes, it is possible. The benefits of
conflict management are:
Better relationships with your partners.
Be more productive both in your professional as well as personal life.
A stress free life and not to mention
Richer set ideas to work with, to solve problems.
Important Factor in Conflict Management:
Conflict management is a very widely researched and analyzed topic. There are multiple factors involved in
conflict management. For the sake of brevity, let me mention one factor. This is the most common factor.
This factor is about “Who is more important?” Let us take a simple conflict like the one I described above.
There are two parties. The question is: Who of these two parties is more important? See the illustration
below and you will see a framework that has 4 quadrants.
(Continued on page 14)
Who’s more important? Five Answers
(Continued from page 13)
As you can see from above,
1. If I consider myself more important than the other person, I would “FORCE” my decision on them. This is the top
left quadrant For example, consider the situation in a construction organization. The field workers do not wear
hard hats to work on a regular basis. As we all know, for those who work in construction organizations, it is very
important for their safety that they wear hard hats, isn‟t it? But somehow in this organization the field workers
don‟t think so. Tomorrow is the inspection from the OSHA Department (Organization Safety and Hazards
Administration) and today the CEO has to convince the workers to wear hard hats to work the next day. So what
does he do? The CEO considers himself to be more powerful and important. On the eve of the inspection, he
announced that those who do not come to work without wearing their hard hat will be terminated from
employment with immediate effect. Result? The next day, 100% of the employees wore their hard hats. Those
who do not normally have to wear them also wore hard hats! One caveat with this resolution is that although it
has immediate results, the conflict can come back with in a different form and with more dire consequences.
2. If I consider the other person to be as important as I am, I would collaborate. This is the top right quadrant. As a
result of collaboration, both parties can be fully satisfied with the resolution. As an example, consider the
situation where Chuck, one of the Vice Presidents in a firm was working on a company laptop. His colleague,
Natasha, also a Vice President wanted to have the same laptop. She comes into his room and requests that he
give her the laptop. Chuck was already using the laptop and did not want to give it away until he is done with his
work, which will take another hour or so. Natasha wanted it right away as she was headed home right now. So the
way to resolve this conflict is by collaboration. After discussing some ideas and options, they finally agreed that
the Natasha would leave home without the laptop right now while Chuck would use it for the next one hour and
Who’s more important? Five Answers
(Continued from page 14)
then drop it off at her home in a couple hours. Natasha was ok with this, because she was not going to use it for
another couple of hours anyway, even if she left home right now. How did this resolution become possible? Both
of them were open for ideas and solutions and were equally open in stating their requirements and limitations.
That is how this idea was born. Both are completely happy that their requirements were completely met. The
caveat of this way of resolution is that it is very expensive and time consuming process. But the results are great.
3. This is a situation where I consider myself less important than the other party and therefore in this situation I
would yield to the demands of the other party. As you can see, this is just the opposite of the first situation
where Force was the resolution. When the other person applies force, I yield. This is the bottom right quadrant
above. In other words, when the CEO passed this resolution, all the employees complied or “yielded” to the CEO.
The only caveat of this is that when you yield, you don‟t feel so good about yourself.
4. When both parties consider that they are not important or that the conflict at hand is trivial, they would simply
avoid the conflict for the benefit of their relationship. This is the last quadrant. The problem with avoiding a
conflict, however, is that most of the times, the conflict can return and has to be managed.
5. This is the fifth type of resolution and happens in the cases of most conflicts. Not every conflict situation can be
very clearly analyzed and made to fit in one of these quadrants. Sometimes, some of my requirements may not be
very critical to me and some of the other person‟s requirements also are not very important. Or both are equally
important and a perfect collaborative solution is not available. In this case, you would negotiate and arrive at a
compromise. The difference between negotiation and collaboration is that, while in collaboration, both the
parties are completely satisfied; in this case, both parties are not completely satisfied nor are they completely
dissatisfied. But they figured that they can live with the resolution. A typical example is salary negotiation.
To conclude, I have defined conflict, discussed the benefits of conflict „No conflict is resolved
management, and an important factor in conflict management. We have until the emotional
also seen how there are 5 answers (or resolutions) to conflict aspect of the conflict has
management, based on this one factor. But I cannot end this topic been taken care of”. In
without mentioning a very important tenet in conflict management. other words, regardless
“No conflict is resolved until the emotional aspect of the conflict has of the resolution that we
been taken care of”. In other words, regardless of the resolution that we come up with, we must
come up with, we must address the feelings of the other person and address the feelings of
acknowledge that we understand how we feel and that we are sorry for the other person and
the way they feel about this situation”. acknowledge that we
understand how we feel
and that we are sorry for
Art of Speaking Club the way they feel about
District 83 Fall 2009 Tall Tales and Table Topics Contest
Photos courtesy of Joe Shuler, D83 Photographer
Table Topics Contestants (left to right): Aubree
Lynn, Christopher Hansen, Veronica Harris, Mike
Pine, Cathy Mangano
Tall Tales Contestants: (left to
right): Chantell Thomas,
Shakara Thomas, Lisa Pantano,
Sandra Graham-Mason, Brian
Trophy winners in Table Topics Contest:
1st place - Christopher Hansen (center);
2nd place - Veronica Harris (left); 3rd
place - Aubree Lynn (right)
Trophy winners in Tall Tales Contest: 1st
place - Brian Cort (center); 2nd place -
Shakara Thomas (left); 3rd place _
Chantell Thomas (right)