The owner of a mutual fund stock wrote to the investment department of your bank ,that he wanted to sell his shares. He asked,” just how does your bank want me to authorize this sale?”
How would you reply to this query keeping the five Ws and one H guideline in mind?
You are the president of an industry association and have received the following inquiry from an out of town member, “I think I would like to attend my first meeting of the association, even though I am not acquainted with your city. Will you please tell me where the next meeting is being held?
How would you reply to this letter keeping in mind Completeness of the message?
1. Eliminate wordy expressions
2. Include only relevant statements
prune & avoid long explanations
avoid gushing politemess
3. Avoid unnecessary repetitions
use short forms the second time
Find single word substitutes for the phrases
Along the same lines-
At this time
Consensus of opinion
Date of policy
Due to the fact that
During the time of the day
During the year of
Few and far between
For a price of
For the reason of that
From the point of view of
Have need of
In accordance with your request
In due course
Allow me to say
In reply , I wish to say
Please be advised
Please find attached
Rewrite the following by omitting articles, trite expressions, rambling sentences and repetitions:
At this time I am writing to you to enclose the post paid appointment card for the purpose of arranging a convenient time when we might get-together for a personal interview.
Exercise –3 contd.
We hereby wish to let you know that we fully appreciate the confidence you have reposed in us.
Exercise –3 contd
Will you ship us sometime, any time during the month of October , or even November if you are rushed , for November will suit us just as well , in fact a little bit better , 300 of the regular three and a half inch blue arm bands with white sewn letter in the middle .
Focus on YOU instead of I & WE
Show reader benefit & interest
Emphasize positive& pleasant
Apply integrity & ethics
Ex.4-Write with a ‘you ‘ attitude , it shows consideration
I want to send my congratulations for ---
We will ship soon the goods your May 4 order----
We pay eight percent interest on -----
Ex.4-Write with a ‘you ‘ attitude , it shows consideration ( contd)
May I take this opportunity to express my thanks for the account you recently opened with our store. We are pleased to furnish a wide variety of products for the home of the individual customer. We want you to take full advantage of the store services, for we have the largest store in the city. Also we make deliveries for our customer free of charge with in a 30 miles radius of our store.We welcome you to Ebony. If we can be of additional help please let us know .
Ex 5-Avoid negative – unpleasant words to show consideration
It is impossible to open an account for you today.
We don’t refund if the returned item is soiled and unusable.
When you travel on company expense, you will not receive approval for first class fare.
To avoid further delay and inconvenience , we are sending this report by express mail.
Ex –6 : Show reader benefit or interest in the reader ; in the letter from an insurance company to policy holders .
Because we have not written to you in sometime , please help us bring our record by filling and returning the other half of the card .
Use specific facts and figures
Put action into verbs
Choose vivid image building words by comparison & figurative language (?)
Use more adjectives and adverbs
Ex:7- Rewrite the following in concrete form as the sentences are too general and vague.
This computer reproduces campaign letters fast
Our product has won several prizes.
These brakes stop a car within a short distance.
Ex:8-Put action into the words by using active instead of passive voice.
Tests were made by us
A full report will be sent to you by the supervisor.
The contract had a requirement ….
Mr. Singh will give consideration to the report ….
Ex : 9-Use vivid image building words – adjectives and adverts , and use less of abstract nouns
The camera has a system that gives good pictures.
Choose short , familiar & conversational words
Construct effective sentences and paragraphs by unity of idea and sequencing
Achieve appropriate readability by using formal & informal language
Include examples, illustrations & visual aids
Ex : 10-Use simple words
Ex: 11-Choose a conversational style
After perusal of pertinent data the conclusion is that a lucrative market exists for the subject property .
Easement for egress and ingress
A letter from the quality bureau to a plumber said – “The efficacy of hydrochloric acid is indisputable, but the corrosive residue is incompatible with metallic permanence “.
Sentence length:15-20 words
Soft words vs hard words
Be sincere , tactful, thoughtful and appreciative
Omit expressions that hurt , irritate, or insult
Grant apologies graciously
Ex : 12-Show courtesy by avoiding tactless & blunt language.
Your letter is not clear at all:
Obviously, if you would read your policy carefully you will be able to answer these questions yourself.
Apparently you already forgotten what I wrote you two weeks ago.
Ex : 13-Use gender friendly substitutes
The best man for the job
Ex 13 –Contd.
You guys should all be concerned about the issue.
Each manger has an assigned place – he should park his car….