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  1. 1. LIZARD MAN, BANKER WANKER & ALIENS – THE LIFE & TIMES OF KEZ THE ARTIST! (GLAD I STAYED ALIVE TO WRITE MY BOOK) Hello lovely people that actually care about me! I haven’t written a life update / blog or had a MOAN for quite a while so I am writing today at last! I’ve been really busy working on new ideas and new work and it’s just been totally all UP IN THE AIR! So many things I need to write about today to express, talk about and help me organise myself and see what is going on from a reflective position. So firstly I shall write about my everyday life and how I am coping before I get onto the new art. I’m still incredibly alone as always and have just picked up over the last few days after a very depressing and dark week, in which I totally
  2. 2. relapsed on the drugs and drink! I was really doing well, I’d managed to get the methadone levels down by 10mls over the last month, which I was really pleased about as I get sick of having to go to the chemist everyday and also the methadone does make me sleepy and lethargic and I cannot get on with my art and writing whilst asleep can I? I was really doing well and feeling quiet happy and positive! I now realise why in retrospect! I shall explain… I have mentioned before that I dislike the nasty Polish neighbours! They really make my life hell. I wasn’t always sure that it was definitely them that complain to the council about me, but now I am ABSOLUTELY SURE! The Polish family are RUDE and IGNORANT! They flatly REFUSE to speak English ever! I live in a very foreign area, there are just so many foreigners, which is one reason why I am so lonely! There’s a lot of Polish people in this area, so they look English, but they are not and they don’t speak to me and most of them don’t speak English! It’s not very nice as I feel like there is a serious lack of communication! They do seem to have a lot of friends and they were having garden parties that were causing quite a lot of noise. I didn’t really care all that much as I just work in my front room so it wasn’t such a big deal for me. OH!! FUCKIN HELL – she just did it!! SHE’S DOING IT NOW – SHES SHOUTING LOUD IN POLISH AT THOSE KIDS – She has a really LOUD Polish voice and she shouts and screams at those kids! Those
  3. 3. kids run around that flat during the evening and it rocks my flat and I know realise the other people’s flats in the street. SOMEONE HAS COMPLAINED! I reckon the people next door to me have complained about the Polish family on the other side to me! They no longer go in the garden at all, which is most confusing! It does seem to be becoming more and more like communist Russia, rules and regulations imposed by the authorities that restrict freedom to such an extent that it feels seriously morally wrong, a breach of civil liberty! I certainly wouldn’t call the council about neighbours! If I have a problem I just tell them, occasionally I may shout, but I’m not so fuckin underhand that I would go off telling to the council behind their back! Not at all my style! I’ve shouted to that bitch to SHUT up enough times I can tell you! I certainly wouldn’t call the council like what they do to me!! ( As usual this is a very long winded story to reach the final point – so do bare with me) I now believe the Polish family thought it was I that complained to the council about their garden parties and the kids running riot in the flat, which was seriously causing a disturbance! So now they HATE me even more! They were obviously upset at being told off by the council that they left the country for about three weeks over the last month!! This is why I have been so happy and
  4. 4. doing so well!! I have felt as if a whole weight was removed from my life! Not having to listen to that LOUD BITCH’s POLISH SCREAMING has been such a joy that I even stopped drinking and was nicely coming off the Eeebie juice! I didn’t feel the need to buy drugs or drink! It has been like pure peace in the neighbourhood when they were away! I have felt noticeably happier and lighter! I played my guitar without fear of her calling the council! I’ve just been so happy in my day to day life! But then THEY CAME BACK!! I can honestly tell you within just two days of them returning I had another SERIOUS WARNING from the council threatening a £5000 fine for playing my guitar and singing too loud! That fuckin EVIL BITCH has been calling the council when I play my guitar – even in the daytime!! The council come and stand outside my house with a machine monitoring my noise and they even knew what I was playing on my guitar and told me I play the same thing over and over too much! She more than likely assumed it was I that had complained about her, when in fact I hadn’t! I am not that petty and conniving, if the problem got too bad I would have just shouted out the window for them to quieten down, as I did with the other people who had just moved in! They have also stopped going in their garden over the last three weeks. Its just so godamn petty that people have had to get the council involved over people’s freedom to go in their gardens and play music and make a noise! Its ridiculous and EVIL and a big
  5. 5. reason why I want to move away from these fuckin weird people, whom most are not British and don’t seem to speak a great deal of English anyway! Getting the council involved is getting the EVIL authority in, who are the very worst people alive! I cannot believe how fuckin stupid these people are! Surely we can together solve any problems, but they wont do that because they flatly refuse to speak to me or anyone else in English! I had only three weeks of complete freedom when the Polish family were away and it was such an improvement! I slipped right back into my dirty life after I received the council warning. I don’t play my guitar late, as it’s not fair on the neighbours! I can’t believe she called the council for me strumming my acoustic guitar in the daytime! The fuckin bitch doesn’t even speak English, which is even more confusing how she actually managed to complain! I DETEST her! I went straight back onto the heroin after that as I felt very depressed! I went from having a great few weeks to back to square one all because of a really horrible, ignorant Polish cow and her noisy brats! She thinks she owns the street! They don’t work either of them, so obviously also claiming benefits, although they don’t speak English! They even put an old wooden table over their car parking space so that no one can park in front of their house! Honestly they are really IGNORANT horrible people who are really causing me to be distressed. I know they have complained to my
  6. 6. landlord that I do drugs! They watch me! I have seen the curtains twitching when I go out the house and when sometimes pick up my bits n bobs from my blokey. Talk about victimisation! They really are ‘curtain twitching snitchers’! arghghghghgh! So after all that horrible petty drama, I’m back up 5mls on the juice and drinking again! I also feel very hurt. I wish I could move, but I can’t as I haven’t got any money! I’ve had to get my haircut because it had completely broken off where I sleep on it! One side of hair wasn’t there! I am not sure if maybe it had got set fire to that night I was robbed? I can’t be sure, but it was very odd that I had lost a whole side of hair! I decided just to get it cut one more time to even it up and NOT bleach it again, as my hair is very, very fine and it just damages it! This is the reason why I am poor! I can’t get so many men to book me as an escort when I have a short hair as it isn’t considered to be as attractive as girls with long flowing hair! I do look quite prim and square with shorter hair and its also red so not the most stereotypically glamorous look I have at the moment! I do, however, like it and think it looks nice! The colour certainly goes with my pale complexion and I am going to keep it this colour, it does suit me! I like the cut as well, but I do want to grow my hair now! At least its all even now and will grow in a nice style, as I had it cut with that in mind from a really good Italian top stylist! I told him all my hair
  7. 7. probs and he cut it with that in mind! I know when it grows, I’ll get a lot more escort bookings, so then I might be able to start saving to move!! I want to move to the East end so I can visit the galleries and make contacts and start getting in shows and get a studio! I can’t do any of that whilst I’m totally stuck down here in scummy South! Its so dreadfully lonely! Oh yes Darth vader!!.... I recently wrote about my anger at Mrs Darth Vader, the woman who walked past me on my street in front of my house in a full Burqua with no eyeholes. I do think I should just have kept quiet now and not bothered saying anything! The reason I did shout and scream is because I am just totally Godamn sick of seeing Islamic woman wearing Burqas everywhere and to be faced by a full Burqa when I walk out of my front door one morning even before I’ve got to the end of the little terrace street was just a bit much for me to swallow! Considering I am a vegetarian surrounded by dirty little HALAL meat shops, even on my street! I am just totally pissed off with it to the highest degree. It’s truthfully really grinding me down! Seeing woman, mostly what look like enormous woman in Burqas everywhere I go is just frankly doing me in! I’m sick of it! These woman all stick together, they never speak to any non –
  8. 8. Islamic people. No-one ever speaks to me where I live. I seriously cannot go into the corner shop anymore, the woman in that shop, where I usually get my beer from, has made it crystal clear about how she feels about me. She will not say a single word to me and she recently made it clear she doesn’t like me. She made a nasty face and will not touch me or even acknowledge me in anyway. It’s so clear to me that finally I will never go in that shop again! The halal meat shop at the end of the road have just decorated the counter with a dayglow orange and yellow HALAL sign, totally tacky, backward and heartless and really rubbing it in that its HALAL meat. I expect they’ll be getting the ‘unstunned’ signs out soon. It sickens me to the core. I am sick and tired of having Islam thrown into my face as soon as I step out my house! These woman in these ridiculous, antiquated clothes wear them to draw attention to themselves, to display their religion and difference to other members of British society! This is why they wear them. Sincere religious practise doesn’t require stupid clothes! I’m sick and tired of silly childish games that people play to create problems. Why does a religion have to impend onto a whole society how Islam does? Why not keep religion contained behind closed doors, in a personal way? Why do they have to thrust in our faces and open meat shops everywhere and parade around in absolutely unnecessary clothing? Why? They do it to cause hostility and separation. In the end I guess it’ll just end up a fucking WAR. They make no attempt to get on together with us all, so
  9. 9. it will only end in tears. This is why I am upset, I feel the separation and hostility and I feel the aggression and hate. I live here, amongst this, this is how I know! I seem to repeat the same story every time I write, its all so mundane, dull, repetitive and boring. The same problems just repeating themselves each week, each day and I’m still stuck here, unable to move. I cannot bring myself to work like a brothel girl just to save the money to move. I shouldn’t have to work as a brothel girl! I want to move over to the East end, give the so – called coolest place in London and area of art. I’m not getting the escort bookings, which in some ways is a good send as I DETEST sucking random men’s penis’s. Kissing a partners private spots and having intimate sex with a lover is so VERY different from pulling off and sucking off a random DIRTY BASTARD who should know better! Now and then I do have pleasant clients and now and then the sex isn’t entirely repulsive, I certainly am only doing it for the money though! If I had the money from elsewhere I would more than likely be 100% CELIBATE! I don’t feel the need for sex without LOVE ever. Especially now I am a woman. When I was younger I’d love having a quickie with a young stud! Oh yearh! I’d often go out clubbing and pick up a young sexy rock star kind! I’m getting too old for that now though! I can honestly say if I didn’t REALLY need the money I wouldn’t bother with SEX! I’d much rather stay in a write my book and
  10. 10. make my art – hopefully a film and my music! This is the 100% god’s honest truth! I’ve lost a lot of clients recently as I really do believe that they could be reading my blogs and have found out my true identity, which is a real blow for me as I’m not making enough money to live at the moment! Each month is a quick scrape together from a night in the lurk! I have debts still, It’s gonna be another year like this until they’ve gone! This prospect is fucking bleak! It’s the same old story, wages are too low for a single, unskilled woman, such as myself to put a roof over my head! I really am mentally ill now anyhow, I am reclusive, lonely and obsessed with aliens – COOL or WOT? Haaaa!!!!! Kez ain’t trying to be a martyr, I’m just trying to survive and be an artist, what I chose to be! I’m not giving up now, not after all this time and effort. I will continue. I always thought I was going to do something special when I was young. I honestly wanted to be a Doctor for quite a few years when very young and I sometimes think it’s a shame I didn’t, it’s such a honourable, thing to become and do. Although, I’m far too eccentric really to fit into the kind of niche the medical profession is, as I have witnessed it first hand, which is why I decided I didn’t want to join it! I really am suited to be an artist, it is my ideal profession and this is what I am! I am a true loner and I enjoy my own company, but it would nice to meet a few people, other artists and live amongst similar types. I wonder how long it will be until I can move to a better place? I don’t want to die in fucking Tooting! I only live here as I was evicted
  11. 11. from Brixton and had to move asap so I moved to a cheap room above the pub, it was so ideal as a studio, particularly as it was also soundproof, when I was still working on a fairly low wage! It was supposed to be temporary, but then I lost my job and my life sunk down this dark well! I really am repeating old territory here – time to move on…… NEW ART! The crazy new alien obsession!! Oh yes…But before that…. one more SEX story! I am working on new art, if you are following my life than you will already have read about my Alien book! But before I go onto tell you all about my exciting new project I’ll just let you know all about THE CUNT SHITBAG EVIL BAKER WANKER the other night! I’m skint people! I don’t see anywhere near the amount of men I used to see for the money! I just got too tired and worn down by it! I need time to myself to rest and also to produce my artwork! I am an artist afterall! I didn’t want the sex business to take over my very important artwork! Unfortunately this means I’m SKINT
  12. 12. again!! The other night, the phone rang and I was all set to work on my book, paintings about aliens! My new project! But I knew I didn’t have enough money to pay my rent! So I said yes _ I’ll come out and entertain! The guy sounded ULTRA rich! I can sniff out a rich man! They smell like freshly printed money over the phone! He was loaded, my sixth sense ain’t usually wrong! So I got ready and I sensed he was in a posh apartment - the Battersea crew! The apartments in posh Battersea are HUGE – I’ve been to a few posho locations around there, especially living in Wand – smelly – worth!! He told me to bring my toys and he wanted anal play. I assumed, the way he asked, he wanted me to fuck his ass with a strap – on! I loaded my mini-case up with my stupid pink strap-on and other things and also my camera! I sensed, incorrectly, that he wanted a night of naughty fun and shenanigans, I was, for the first time in quite sometime, WRONG! I arrived after another nightmare cab journey with yet another ISLAMIC ASSHOLE! Let’s not give any false pretence here; these cab drivers are fuckin assholes!!! They HATE us girls as they think we have it easy - us white SLAGS! What they don’t see is that we are doing it to survive!! They think we are rich tarts who see all these rich men!! What they don’t see is the rest of our lives! The Russian ones with fuckin pimps taking half the cash!! Okay, in my case I don’t have a pimp – but I hardly ever see men! I think it was 3 or 4 this month!!! That’s about £1000, of which some goes toward rent,
  13. 13. bills, food, transport, and miscellaneous and the rest on art materials! TRUTHFULLY! Not a penny spare – THAT”S IT!! The rest of the time I’m working on my art seriously! Alright there’s the odd baggo weed or this and that! Saying that I don’t ever go out anymore, no holidays or anything of the sort!! So I’m certainly not loaded! I’m totally skint at the mo! These cab drivers they hate us and really are not nice, and often they smell! It’s not a pleasant life! Oh yearh, back to the fuckin EVIL WANKER BANKER story…of which, there is many! So I got my case with my strap –on, toys, outfits, alien mask ( I can live in hope that he has a sense of humour, not likely, but Kez hopes!) I expected a three hour chatting session with sex for under half an hour – as usual! I eventually arrived after another nightmare cab journey with a resentful Islamic bastard who could smell the brown on me as he hinted as we pulled up to an open grill restaurant in Battersea square, yearh I can read hints, I ain’t that stupid – I stink of brown at the mo as I’m well back into smoking it, all thanks to that Polish cow! By the time the cab driver argued with me and the bloke who booked me over the phone trying to find the address, of which he probably knew where it was all along, he just wanted to be fucking awkward. So I arrived at the Battersea posho flat, the guy, quite a strapping, mid thirties bit of rich, swanky, Oxford Dom hunk! Hmm so far so good! He paid the cab – good boy – I
  14. 14. thought! We went up top his posh, swanky, spacious apartment, far too big for him, you could tell it was fuckin freezing in the winter! Lucky for me it was summer, he was obviously the kind who would refuse to have the heating on, for fear of extortionate gas bills over £99. Trust me I can smell these tight posh wanker bankers a mile off! I’ve met enough of them to see the elastaine underpants constricting the blood supply to their pathetic knobs! HA!! The gorgeous fluffy, yet, arrogant cats greeted me as I walked into the huge leather four piece living area with beautiful artefacts and paintings from Thailand! Yearh, this guy was fuckin loaded! Out came the champas, nicely chilled, served in glass flutes! Strangely my suitcase remained waiting at the door. It didn’t seem as if the guy really cared too much for strap-ons! We chatted briefly about his life and all his friends, of which, I now think there are probably a BIG FAT ZERO, come to think of it! Usually the case! He soon whisked me into the bedroom, which had those speakers that even come on in the toilet cubicle. This bloke aged only 33 was fuckin loaded JOMO!!! LOADED! It was an expensive pad. I wondered about my suitcase, the pics, my strapons? I still hadn’t made my mind up what the fuck this man really wanted with me? Why had he
  15. 15. asked me to bring all that stuff with me? I still cannot fathom that! As soon as I got into the very luxurous bedroom, off came his Chris Evans glasses and out came the not so HUGE cock – thank FUCK! I gave him the obligatory blow job and ‘got a condom’ he wanted anal, so I ‘got the lube’ he fucked me hard in my asshole – I asked him to hurry up, as it can get a bit hot around the collar in that department, considering I am still on fuckin heroin and yes, it hurts, but one good thing is that it tends to loosen things up and exercise the hole for those large, lead weight, dried up turds! Hahahahhahaha HA FUCKIN HA! THE TRUTH AINT A NICE SUBJECT!!!!!!!! He came fairly quickly, he enjoyed his tight asshole orgasm, men become very selfish when they can afford to get it in the ass when they want! It turned out he didn’t want the kit bag and wanted to usher me away before I had time for pics! He’d been through my suitcase and didn’t want to give me the kindness to take a few pictures, considering I was dressed up in quite a sexy manner in new lacey stockings! He asked to leave early before our allotted time was up, which was my three hour Champagne special. He only FUCKIN WELL ASKED for £50 back as I had only spent 2 ½ hours with him! He wasn’t going to give in on this, he REALLY WANTED THE £50 back! He had fooled me into thinking I was gonna give him
  16. 16. one with the strap-on, when actually he had wanted to simply fuck my asshole as it was a tight fuck for a selfish cunt!! I told him to FUCK RIGHT OFF! We got into a bit a disagreement! He wanted the money back, I told him that was out of the question! He still maintained that he wanted to take £50 - back as he hadn’t spent the full three hours with me! I had sensed that he’s done this little trick to girls before, and I was totally unimpressed. The guy was LOADED! He was certainly bordering on millionaire by the look of it! In my early days working as an escort, I’d had that similar scenario and given in, in my naivety. I certainly was not giving that rich bastard £50 back after he’d rammed his fuckin dick into my asshole, he hadn’t even tried for my vagina, he was just a greedy, selfish, using pig – your typical prostitute user. TOO SELFISH TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND so HE TREATS A WOMAN LIKE A FUCKIN PIN CUSHION IN THE BACKSIDE! We got into a bit of a heated debate! Until I lost it, having been smoking smack all night, I was ready for a fuckin hit!!!, desperately hoping he’d have some fuckin drugs – no chance – HE WAS AS FUCKIN STRAIGHT AS A DIE – DRUGS COST MONEY – HE WEREN’T NO FUCKIN BIG SPENDER – I CAN TELL YOU!! I KNOW THE FUCKIN SORT. TYPICAL BANKER WANKER – TIGHT AND TIGHT ALL THE WAY THROUGH – WHICH IS WHY THEY LIKE IT IN THE ASSHOLE!
  17. 17. It started to get a bit heated in the room so I fuckin looked around at the glass and the art and the ornaments and the glasses and bottles and I fuckin nearly picked one up and fuckin started to smash his fuckin piece of heaven up! Yearh I’ve done it before and I hope I won’t do it again, but times like that when I see red. I SEE FUCKIN RED! I was seeing RED! The CUNT DESERVED TO BE TAUGHT A LITTLE LESSON IN LIFE! Ass hole still throbbing from the fuckin forced penetration, I was very close to smashing up the whole fuckin joint! How someone of that wealth can ask a poor drowned rat like me for £50 back after shagging my asshole was completely beyond my comprehension! I looked right at his fuckin poncey, arrogant, fuckin posho banker wanker face and I told him what a fuckin CUNT he was! A fuckin nasty, using, piece of vile shit! A total , fuckin selfish BASTARD PIG! He deserved for me to SMASH HIS FUCKIN WHOLE FLAT UP, ALL THE GLASS, ALL THE FUCKIN EXPENSIVE MIRRORS, ALL THE ART, ALL HIS PONCEY CERAMIC LAMPS – THE FUCKIN LOT WAS GONNA FUCKIN GO ASWELL AS HIS FUCKIN PONCEY GREY CATS!!!!!!......which is… actually what stopped me! The cats. I suddenly saw blood, more blood, the cats got in the way, the place was smashed up to smitherins including the cats that got caught by a piece of stray glass and they had died. I couldn’t see that happen. I couldn’t see that pain. I couldn’t hurt the innocent cats coz of my stupid anger and his total selfishness that is just a product of this fuckin Capitalist, commercial, money driven, fame
  18. 18. obsessed, crazy fuckin FALSE world we have created!! So I stopped right there before I did something I would later seriously regret! I couldn’t see those cats DEAD! I couldn’t see a grown man weep and I didn’t want to get more injured and hurt myself. I’m already covered in scars – I don’t want anymore and I didn’t want the police! So I told him what he was and he needed to go think about himself and how selfish and using he is. I walked over to the bed and softly sat down and I looked up at him and quickly away and I said in complete earnest sincerity: “man….I hope you go to hell…..” . I asked him to call me a cab and I sat in silence and waited in silence. The cab arrived I simply got my case and walked out of his flat bravely and honestly and I didn’t look at him, he didn’t see my face again – I got in the elevator and I left it there. He’d ordered me a really expensive minicab, the guy was fuckin twisted in the head as a lot of rich people are, he'd become money obsessed! I was just glad to be away from him after coming dangerously close to a serious situation, in which I would have certainly have gone down for, as its not the first time I’ve smashed a place up! I then went on to a tourist hotel at Tower Bridge, where I met a tourist who’d been to watch Priscilla, how much worst can the night have got! Ha HA!
  19. 19. I arrived at the Marriot hotel – West India Quay, I always think London is particularly full of Asians because of the India Quays – like ‘mini India’ , Indians may take it to be their territory! Ha!! It could be true! Lovely large hotel, full of tourists, I was still pretty much fuming from the scene earlier so I went straight to the hotel bar and hit the red wine with my very ugly, but very kind and gentle client. I always feel guilty when taking money of your ordinary everyday folk, as £300 is a bloody lot of money to them! At the end of the day, they are the ones that order me and they know how much it costs – they don’t HAVE to call me do they? I’d NEVER pay for SEX! It is certainly something stupid men do and I think they are totally insane for doing it! It comes down to the location of ego, in a man the ego is located in the cock! Ha! The bigger the cock, the bigger the ego, in most cases! We had a long chat over the wine, the man looked a bit fat, quite ‘ugly’, very masculine looking with puffy eyes and kinda spikey hair, he looked spikey, if he had been born a dinosaur he would have been one of those stubby, stout ones with the spikey tusks running along its back! I did think that as I sat there looking at him! The strangest thing about him was that he he seemed very camp to talk to! He had been to watch Priscilla and he seemed very gay to me! I kinda hoped he was a bit gay, save me from having to have ‘proper’ sex; perhaps I could use the pink strap –on him! Unfortunately we didn’t get that far, as I did my usual, very naughty trick, of passing out in a methadone and H daze after just
  20. 20. four glasses of wine as well as the posho champas earlier, I passed clean out and woke up in the morning surprised to find myself naked in the Marriot hotel next to a man who looked a bit like a gay lizard! Yikes! The man was kind enough to not demand sex out of me at 7am, although he wants me to repay the favour at a later date, fuckin hell, I thought I may have got away with that one! However much I try to stop myself selling sex, the truth is that is what the men think they are paying for, in actual fact, in my opinion they are paying for time. The reality is sexual services, something I am not at all keen on, I don’t know a girl who is, especially girls that work as escorts! We’re all ONLY in it for the money! Of course we are, why else would you suck a fat man’s penis? No! You wouldn’t! I don’t care how much you pretend to me that you would – I know you fuckin well wouldn’t! Finally I got off for home in a cab at about 9am, I was pretty snarled about not waking up in own bed, I hate waking up in strange beds and places, unfortunately in my line of work it happens a lot! I’m so glad I managed to get that money now though as I found out yesterday that I’m down to nothing! If I hadn’t have got that money from those men I don’t think I would have been able to pay my rent this month, which is quite a serious
  21. 21. situation of poverty! I don’t get booked enough these days as I reckon the punters spread the word around that I’m ‘KEZ’ as opposed to Kat. They will not fund an artist as its too much of a threat the their male ego’s. Men are disgustingly cruel!! I’ve blown my cover and now have to deal with the consequences of that! In all honestly I think I have blown my cover on purpose as I’m just so sick and tired of sucking penis’s. I don’t like penis’s anymore! They are just horrible things! Its all just such a horrible repetitive routine, which is one reason I ‘specialize’ in hard anal and hard fuckin, get the godamn thing over in minutes with a fuckin durex – easy, clean and safe, and no mouth ulcer worries!! Its always a bit hair-raising in the ass, but it’s the tightest for the men and they cum quick and strong and the endorphins blow em away and I slip off and let them tingle in the post – orgasmic bliss whilst I rejoice in the fact I can go home and manage my life, eat and fund my art, aswell as go for a good shit the next day. I DID SAY KEZ THE ARTIST IS BRUTALLY HONEST didn’t I? ( I hope I can post this blog without too much fuss over the unfront nature of the writing – I guess this will mean the loss of yet more clients – as I know that some of them are reading my blogs, particularly Mr. Stretch your pussy open wide aubergine man! He isn’t a bad man, I just don’t understand why he feels the need to force things in my hole? It doesn’t give any pleasure for him or me and it just stretches my insides and makes me
  22. 22. feel violated, other than that sexually he isn’t to bad, he had a big cock ego, which is what men with big cocks have – Mr. Aubergine – don’t be too offended) So that’s the story of the other night, there are many more stories, but I feel its now time to move on the subject to the main exciting area for me: my new art – The KEZ Sci-fi epic! My new HUGE project that will change the nature of KEZART I believe! Well if you’ve been keeping a breadth of the life and times of KEZ then you will already know all about my ALIEN fixation! I actually began making sci –fi art hmm..about four years ago now when I first moved to Brixton. I wasn’t selling my poor little body then! I had a poorly paid job in the Elephant & Castle shopping centre in a little Photography Kiosk / minilab with these Cockney brothers who reminded me of Phil and Grant from Eastenders! I was an angry Goth girl, I had previously been working in a warehouse in Leicester and had had the hots for the GOTH boy and I had also turned into a Camden goth girl, I used to have Blue black hair, sometimes I’d dye it red! I didn’t have ANY money at all and I even had to nick a pair of trainers!! I was earning £212 a
  23. 23. week and I had to pay my rent out of that and all living expenses!! I lived in a shoebox room in a shared house with 5 other people! I used to sit drinking 4 cans of Stella on a old bit of foam with my a guitar at night! I used to make ink and watercolour diaries in those days too and that’s when I started writing my alien abduction film and I also started painting aliens! KEZ WOZ POOR AS FUCKIN POOR CAN BE. I also got into hard drugs in Brixton, for the first time, it was quite a rough, poor, edgy life, but I enjoyed myself. I worked very hard and I even managed to get a studio for a short time, I couldn’t afford to keep the studio at Loughborough junction, but I did a few oil paintings whilst working in there! I had a few on / off boyfriends and one boyf was this GOTH lad who moved to London at a similar time to me: Rob, he was to be the star of my film, I ended up writing the film around him. They were lovely days! I’d bought myself my first partial SLR canon 400D, I was really proud of it, it was a lot of money in those days for me! I decided to make him the subject of my art as he was a really skinny GOTH boy and he played my guitar beautifully, he was in a band! A HARD ROCK band, not really my cuppa tea! I began taking photos of him with the view to making this film and applying to the RCA, I
  24. 24. reckoned I was in with a chance, its funny how life turns out, I was never in with a chance and now I’m glad I’m not bothering with fuckin education! YEARH THAT FUCKIN HURT YOU RICH CUNTZ! Rob and I ended up arguing a lot! We always had our differences! He was really moody, but he was good looking, but he was just way too uptight for me, he was quite posh, I was really quite common at the time, I had only just moved from Leicester! We were both really poor though! I’ve got a few drawings about him – I shall upload them with this blog to reminisce about my early days in LONDON, how time passes and how life moves on! I am glad that I have decided to revisit my original ideas for artwork when I was living back in Brixton! I always made very personal artworks about myself and my life too, I have some lovely watercolours and ink drawings on lovely handmade Indian paper! I was happier back in Brixton, I had friends and there was loads to do around there, great pubs and clubs and the fabulous market, I so much miss Brixton, I began getting very depressed when I moved to this dive as its so lifeless compared to beautiful Brixton! I had mates and boyfriends back in those days! I just can’t meet anyone in this dull land! Why the hell have I suddenly made a change
  25. 25. toward this idea of these extra terrestrial visitors? Ha, it seems quite funny, but I do have some ideas why I have decided to pursue this subject matter. I find life itself a completely overwhelming difficult reality to comprehend, although we are alive! I have always wanted to explore reality and what it actually is to be alive, in a philosophical and spiritual nature. Along with this enquiry comes the exploration of the possibility of life elsewhere in the universe, something that to me is simply inevitable! I feel that there must be life elsewhere and the more I contemplate the history of planet Earth and humanity, the more I feel that it is a natural truth that planet Earth is not unique, that yes, life exists elsewhere. I think the world that we have created has just moved so far away from our roots as entities in the universe! We have created a blind capitalist world that breeds greed and the accumulation of capital rather than love, spirituality or truth. I long to reconnect with my archaic, spiritual, sublime nature and with this for me comes the exploration of consciousness, life and the universe. I am exploring these ideas in an imaginative, metaphorical way that is fun and I am creating, beings, characters, stories that can really be read on many different levels. This is why this project is so VERY IMPORTANT to me. So much could be contained in this ‘novel’, ‘project’,’story’, ‘film’, however it may manifest eventually. I am beginning as I did with my last short AAAA Alien Abduction film in watercolours, however this latest work is far superior to my last sketch book, the paintings are beautiful in
  26. 26. themselves which is very important to me. The paintings must be seen to be works of art in themselves, not just sketches for a film. The film, may or may not happen, the paintings are already here and there will be many. I like to draw and paint my ideas and the story will appear through the drawings. This is how this project began. I started painting shapes and visualising figures and spaceships and ideas about reality, consciousness and the universe. I feel that I let my mind investigate, wander and expand on the ideas until it began weaving stories and ideas for forces of dark and light and metaphors for the occurrences in the universe. I did see a coupe of UFO’s that looked like vessels, oval shape vessels very, very high up in the sky, about the height of a satellite and then after a few minutes another travelled along and then they crossed each other paths! I gasped in amazement! I couldn’t believe it ! I must have been about 14 years old with my Dad in the garden who first spotted them! I was always a pragmatic youngster and I remember saying Oh it can’t be a UFO, it must just be a satellite, until there were two and they danced together and then after sometime, they both zoomed off at such a speed and they were then gone. I remember trying to get MUM, who was never really that excited! My Dad and I , we couldn’t believe what we were seeing, although my Dad did say he’d seen similar UFO’s before, as he works nightshifts and he often used
  27. 27. to stargaze trough the night in the factory that he works in. We used to chat about the universe and that he thought the aliens were visiting! I always thought it was such an amazing subject! This is one of the reason’s it has stuck in my mind and it is something I think about in my private crazy moments and something in my mind I would like to explore! Visually it opens up avenues of possibilities! Great! Lots to paint, think and create, as long as I stay level headed and don’t end up looking as a complete eccentric, schizophrenic, outsider artist, then I won’t get any credibility or respect! So onwards and hopefully I shall create an allegorical story with lots of threads of meaning, mystery, emotion and depth, as well as some exciting ideas for the progression of humanity into the future! A final few thoughts. I’m feeling a bit hurt at the moment by how I have been treated recently both in my everyday life and also online. Online, these AMERICAN CORPORATE TOSSPOTS really have in for KEZ! I know it ain’t just coz I say “Penis”, they ACTUALLY are going out of their way to BLOCK and REMOVE me! I’m getting hits and they can’t have a little poor English whore gain fame and notoriety in America! Oh no! ONLY AMERICANS CAN BE FAMOUS IN
  28. 28. AMERICA! This is how Americans generally are! The English are NEVER as GOOD as them! I know I’ve met enough Americans to know this is true! You only have to look how they treated the very beautiful Beckham couple! They were fabulous, she was beautiful and fuckin SKINNY as any American and he was just fuckin a fit as fuck tattooed bit of yummy stuff – they should have fitted in lovely in the U.S? I like Victoria Beckham, I think she has taken many interesting unique risks with her very chic style and I think she is a very stylish lady who deserves lots of media attention! The fuckin NASTY Americans fuckin well snubbed her! NASTY! Real NASTY! So I am pretty sure it’s the fuckin NASTY CORPORATE AMERICAN tosspots that are repeatedly blocking me from the net! Myspace have particularly had in right in for me! They have censored and removed by blog REPEATEDLY removing content that really shouldn’t have been removed and blocked nearly all the links to my other web pages – which they really shouldn’t have been doing! I wrote several serious threatening letters in a very polite and serious manner bit they responded in a rude, abrupt way and finally arrogantly told me to “get an attorney” BASTARDS! I really did have a strong case against myspace, particularly as I always place a content warning on my blogs with even a hint of adult content. We do need to protect our children, but we also need freedom in out adult life – SERIOUSLY! Children do become aware that adults do have sex.
  29. 29. Of course I do not think its correct to expose children to large amounts of porn and I actually don’t really approve of the huge amounts of internet porn online, most of my pictures are actually only partial nudity when looked at it, like a girl in a bikini. Myspace really have had it in for me and since I put my own songs on my profile, the music player fails to open automatically on my page. I fear foul play – I REALLY DO and it’ll be some AMERICAN tosspot on the other side pushing the buttons if you ask me! They have now removed my Google profile, and I am inclined to believe it is because I was getting a large amount of hits on it, same for my blogger online blog that myspace have blocked! When I started getting hits they blocked the links and I’m pretty certain it is BECAUSE I USE BLOGGER! My instinct is SELDOM WRONG - IF EVER. Incidentally they will not unblock my Google profile – I am such a threat in my upfront honesty! WAY TO GO KEZ! So my plan is to make my own website asap! I’ve tried having a quick look at flash, but I still haven’t fathomed it! I was supposed to be doing this college course, which was free, but I just cannot bring myself to go back into fuckin education at my age, with a load of kids and ‘tutors’ who will blatantly look down at me, I’m too old for that kind of crap and I reckon it is far superior for me to concentrate my energy on my art and my book. I am a fine artist afterall and they really quite upset me and were extremely
  30. 30. rude to me at ‘the interview’. The woman man- handled my fine quality sketchbook for my original film idea, which was a really special to me on beautiful handmade paper! I am sometimes dicing with death with the drugs and booze and I think its best that I work on my own art that is close to my heart, which is now my new watercolour project. I want to express how I feel about the world in this book. This is far more important that doing some poxy college course so that I can end up doing layouts for leaflets or some other similar crap office job at the end of it! A few final thoughts. I get the distinct feeling that I am extremely misunderstood in society! I do think about life, death, the universe and the meaning of life a lot. I think most people have become very removed from such thoughts. We live in a world of total ignorance a fake little artificial world that we all just subscribe to without question and this ‘fakeness’ is getting worst. We live through capitalism, particularly driven my America and following closely is Britain with this idea that you live to generate capital. Most men I meet live through this premise and do not think about ANYTHING else. I honestly think if we have been visited by alien beings, which is QUITE POSSIBLE and perhaps they may have even crashed one day
  31. 31. in the desert and bodies and a spaceship may have been recovered then the governments and the authorities in power would do EVERY GODAMN THING THEY CAN TO COVER IT UP as this would change the way we look at the world. The human race would need to unite very quickly and we would be forced to think outside our HUMAN BUBBLE. We would be forced to think about what the hell is out there and how the hell are we gonna move the race on to meet with these beings, protect ourselves, unite in the universe! Life would drastically change and it would change for the better. The world would need to continue, but at the same time things would seriously have to change and our attitude toward one another and the universe and the planet would have to rapidly change. The world would be a better place, once the panic had subsided and the fear of seeing something totally new and non-human! WHAT A REVELATION!