7 reasons why you can’t be friends with your ex after a break up
7 Reasons Why You CAN’T Be Friends With Your Ex after a Break UpAs you might already know, it’s not uncommon for your ex to say that you guys can still be “friends” whenthey’re breaking up with you. It’s almost like giving you the option of staying friends is an obligation thatthey feel they owe you so they can feel like they were considerate of your feelings.But if they were really considerate of your feelings they wouldn’t be friends with you. See, a lot of timeswe think that staying friends will make the break up easier on us because then we can slowly fade out ofeach other’s lives and still have them around for support when we need it.But in reality, staying friends after a break up only makes things worse. In fact, it’s probably one of thebiggest mistakes that I see guys make after a break up, aside from trying to get their ex back. Andironically, it’s usually just their desire to get her back disguised as wanting to be friends.At first, they fight feverishly to try to get her back and when that doesn’t work, they settle for friendshipand decide to stick around as a friend, hoping that one day things will change. While many may think thisapproach is clever and coy, women can usually tell when you’re secretly yearning for something more.But if you’re really serious about being friends with your ex, ask yourself this:Are You Really Prepared to Be Treated Like a Friend?What a lot of people tend forget is that if you try to stay friends with your exReason #1 = She’ll Start Treating You DifferentlyWhen the break up is still fresh, there’s going to be a part of you that’s expecting her to act the same waytowards you. And when she doesn’t, you’re going to get upset that she doesn’t feel the same wayanymore. The reason for this is because the part of you that’s seen her as your girlfriend all this timedoesn’t really care about this new title change. So when you’re hanging out with her, there’s going to bean inner battle going on inside of you between the part of you that’s pretending that it’s cool be friendsand the part of you that still loves her and cares about her.Reason #2 = You’ll Constantly Push Down & Suppress Your Feelings Around HerWhen you guys are talking or hanging out, she’s probably going to do something that reminds of you ofwhy you liked her in the first place; whether it’s her little ways of talking or a thing she gets about you thatnobody else does. But before you have the time to enjoy it, it’ll be replaced by the feeling of frustrationthat she’s no longer yours.
Reason #3 = Seeing Her But Not Having Her is Going to HurtBeing around her as a friend is only going to reinforce the painful fact that she doesn’t see you the sameway anymore. You’re going to be living with the constant reminder that certain things are now “off limits.”You won’t be able to say or do anything remotely sexual with her and you can’t be affectionate or do anyof the other things you guys used to do when you were together.You’re going to want to hang out with her and do things together like you used to but she’s going to betrying to create space for new things in her life and dedicating more of her time to her friends, family,dating, and yes other guys. At some point, you’re going to ask her to hang out and she’s going to turnyou down. Whether you admit it or not, when she starts passing you up to do other stuff IT WILLBOTHER YOU! You can pretend that it’s cool and try to play it off like it’s no big deal but she’s goingto sense that you’re getting emotional about it and it’ll make things weird.Reason #4 = You’re Going to Be Really Sensitive to Any Talk of “Other Guys”You might already know what I’m talking about here. You and your ex are talking one day and she startstelling you a story that involves a “friend.” Might be something simple like how she was out with somefriends this weekend and so and so happened. She might leave out the details, but in the back of yourmind, you’re going to be wondering if any of those “friends” are guys and whether she’s seeing any ofthem. Now, you’re probably not going to ask her any of this stuff directly but you’re probably going to betrying to figure it out indirectly. There’s a part of you that’s going to be really tempted to “probe” a littlemore to try to get some more details to satisfy your curiosity. And if that’s not enough to make thefriendship really weirdReason #5 = You’ll Be Saying & Doing Things to Try to “Get Her Back”When you guys broke up, your ex probably gave you some reason for why she was leaving. Well, whenyou guys are together, you’re going to be tempted to try to show her that things are different now. you’regoing to find yourself saying and doing things to try to prove that you’ve changed and that you got youract together. Now, I don’t blame guys for doing this, there’s something really appealing about “redeeming”yourself in the eyes of the girl you love. The only problem is, that’s not how people act around theirfriends and she’s going to sense that something’s a little “off”She may not say anything about it and she may not even acknowledge it herself but she will FEEL youwanting her approval. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few years of studying this whole areaof dating and relationships – it’s that girls are far more sensitive to these kinds of subtle dynamics thanguys. She will FEEL you being dependant on what she says or does. She will FEEL you reacting to herwhen she pushes your button. She is going to sense that you still haven’t really let go and moved on.
Reason #6 = You’ll Be Tempted to Misinterpret HerWhen you guys are hanging out or talking, there’s going to be a point where the relationship comes upand she tells you that she misses something about you. This is perfectly normal because the reality is,there’s still a part of her that cares about you, even if she’s the one that left. But the problem is, you’regoing to misconstrue what she says and interpret it as a sign that she wants to get back together withyou sort of like wishful thinking.The truth is that she may still love you and have some feelings for you but she doesn’t feel any of thosethings enough to actually want to be with you. Sure, she might think about you from time to time and feelsome nostalgia about how things used to be but there’s also a big list of bad things that have beenbuilding up in her mind over a long time, which caused her to break up with you in the first place. Sodespite what she might say here and there, her reasons for leaving you are still in her head and she’sprobably reminding herself of what they are in order to prevent her emotions from getting the best of her.Reason #7 = You’ll Spend a lot of Time Wondering How She FeelsYou’ll constantly be reading into every little thing that happens and analyzing what she said so you can tryto make sense of what’s going on. Every now and then, the “relationship talk” may come up and youmight get an inkling of hope that there’s a chance for you guys to get back together. But eventually,you’re going to realize that you just got your own hopes, which is only going to makeyou feel even more frustrated and disappointed when you see that nothing changed.All of these things are going to add up over time and really start to take a toll on your life.After a while, 1 of 2 things will happen.Scenario 1: You won’t be able to conceal the fact that you’re still in love with her and she’ll have to cut offcontact with you because it’s making things too weird and complicated.Scenario 2: You’re confronted with the fact that she doesn’t want to be with you over and over again andyou finally start to realize that you’re just wasting your time. Eventually, you decide to cut off all contactwith your ex because it’s just too hard to be in love with someone who’s clearly moved on.In both cases, things gets stressed to the point where a normal friendship just isn’t possible and yourealize that all the time you spent “trying to be friends” actually made the pain even worse and just ateaway at all the time you could’ve spent getting over your ex.So if staying friends usually does much more harm than good
Why Do We Feel Such a Strong Urge to Stay Friends?1) Part of the reason is because we often feel like what we had is too special to just throw awayand we feel like we have to keep them around in our life simply out of respect for what we had.2) But what I think it really boils down to is the fact that it’s simply too hard for us to let go of someone thatwas once one of the most important people in our lives.Just the thought of living your life without them creates a feeling of emptiness and some people have ahard time even imagining what their life would be like without their ex. And because cutting them out ofour lives completely is such a drastic change, we keep them around to make things easier on us.But unfortunately, we don’t realize that it actually does the complete opposite, which is why I’ve made aneffort to hammer down on all the dangers of staying friends after a break up. Most people who try to befriends with their ex are often unaware of all the unnecessary complications involved in staying friendsafter a break up and don’t really realize what they’re getting themselves into.My goal here was to give you a glimpse of all the different things that tend to happen when you try to befriends with someone you’re still in love with after they’ve moved on. So please save yourself from allthis pain and suffering and make a commitment to cut your ex out of your life for the next 30 days. It’sgoing to be hard at first but eventually you’re going to realize that life goes on and it’s really not the end ofthe end of the world, though I’m sure it probably feels like it right now. Can’t Stop Thinking about Your Ex? Click Below to Learn a Proven “Step-by-Step” Formula on How to Get Over a Break Up http://howtogetoverarelationship.com/how-to-get-over-a-break-up-advice3.html