The Emperor’s New Clothes     @WordUp Glasgow      February 2012
Kevinjohn Gallagher
The Vocal Minority
aka:
I’m a bit… Roy Walker         “ Say What You See ”
What’s the Plan, Stan?
The Tonight Show: Top 10•   Responsive Design is Irresponsible•   Why Free is too Expensive•   Browse Crappy•   Why you ha...
Lets get ready to Rumble…Which depending on your age means…
(if you’re over 30)
(If you’re under 30)
But !• If you search for “PJ and Duncan” on Google images• On the 4th row you see this…
It’s KIMB !!!
Premise• Responsive Design is the ability to apply different CSS  styles based on media queries• e.g.
Why this appears awesome:• Mobiles  – Responsive Design allows designers and front-end    developers to react to mobile de...
Call a spade, a spade• When we say “responsive”, what we mean is, “Mobile”.• Or specifically, “same content, but with a di...
Proof of Paradox• It‟s not about Screen Size, it‟s about Context.• We had Screen Size specific 10 years ago, so it‟s  defi...
So… Context• The CSS2 spec DID include context variables!   – media: handheld, screen, tv, print• But after years of resea...
Who you gonna call?• These companies, say that their users don‟t like to be  treated differently unless it‟s in their best...
So…• in order to change the visual elements under the  premise of it being about Context and not Screen  Sizes, we have to...
Irony in Images• Responsive Design was invented for designers/front-  end coders to not be reliant on developers for multi...
• By this method, the same image is on all site versions.• Do you load an image that‟s high quality, and destroys  your ba...
Conclusion• Responsive Design = “same data, different display”.• But it can‟t take into consideration:   –   Bandwidth   –...
• It has to be about Information Architecture.• It can‟t be done by CSS alone.• CSS wasn‟t intended nor built for that pur...
• RWD is not a bad idea.• Technical restraint and common sense are once again  being thrown out the window in the name of ...
Premise• I can‟t see the word “free” in “Open Source”• There‟s a growing sense of entitlement that software  should have n...
• We favour the exceptionally cheap or free option over  software with a different pricing model that aligns  better with ...
How often have you thought this? • I can‟t believe that plug-in costs money!! • I could do that myself 2-3 hours! • I mean...
Listen to Bowie• If the alternatives to the paid-for version are out of  date, then they probably won‟t work (as well).• Y...
Do the Math !• How much do you charge an hour?• How long do you think it would take you to  plan, code, test and deploy yo...
• Open Source is not yet taken seriously as a viable  business model, and we need to make a mental shift.• We need to acce...
• First Draft published in 2008• 4 years later, still no definitive spec
Bluntly, it’s not ready.
Premise• Jargon-free isn‟t enough• Acknowledge the lies (WYSIWYG)• Terminology
Justified•   CLIENT: “I don‟t like the type.”•   ME: “What don‟t you like.”•   CLIENT: “I don‟t like how it goes all to on...
• Jargon free isn‟t enough• We still treat people as if they have what WE consider  to be a base level of knowledge.
The biggest lie of all• WYSIWYG
• WordPress WYSIWYG
WP Function• add_editor_style(„editor-style.css‟);• Added in 3.0 (officially)• Unofficially there since 2.7• FYI: Doesn‟t ...
Premise• What makes a good developer?• What makes a good Jedi Knight?
In the real world…• What makes a good Project Manager?• What makes a good Tester?
Every week on Star Trek• Kirk:     Mr. Scott, How long until X?• Scotty:   3 weeks captain.• Kirk:     I need it in 4 minu...
Remember•   Kirk went on away missions•   Kirk talked to all departments•   Kirk talked to Starfleet Command•   Kirk talke...
Is the good thing, the right thing?
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)
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Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)

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A cut down version for WordUp Glasgow 2012 via WPSCOTLAND.com

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  • Pure Web Brilliant
  • People that stand up to do talks are generally small brained.
  • Speaking is like Cosplay
  • Some do it well
  • Some don’t
  • Some just confuse the shit out of you
  • It’s important to remember that as much as we speakers think we’re Stan Lee, we’re actually the fat guy in the 70s Wolverine costume.
  • So,if you have any questions – Please ask
  • Star Trek: TNG
  • If it was about Screen Size then it wouldn’t be anything that we didn’t get rid of 10 years ago (hello, DreamWeaver’sDocument.reloadclusterfuck).
  • Add Logos
  • If someone is charitable enough to give their software away for free then thats wonderful, but Business cases built on oxymorons have a tendancy to fail in the most moronic ways.
  • Old testament = W3C
  • New Testament = What working group
  • 2 becomes 1
  • Ian Hixie
  • Don’t be a Dick, it’ll come back to kill you.
  • Just because you wear the spiderman outfit, doesn’t mean you can climb walls
  • We have many generation of managers who have been brought up to believe that:Management is always rightAuthority trumps ExpertiseAny issues can be overcome in Any time period
  • Short term, feel free to strangle kirk
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  • You need the right Balance to succeed
  • Kevinjohn Gallagher's: Emperors new clothes (WordUp Glasgow 2012)

    1. 1. The Emperor’s New Clothes @WordUp Glasgow February 2012
    2. 2. Kevinjohn Gallagher
    3. 3. The Vocal Minority
    4. 4. aka:
    5. 5. I’m a bit… Roy Walker “ Say What You See ”
    6. 6. What’s the Plan, Stan?
    7. 7. The Tonight Show: Top 10• Responsive Design is Irresponsible• Why Free is too Expensive• Browse Crappy• Why you have to be High to use HTML5?• Justified: Why you‟re the client from Hell• Basic != Standard• Good developers don‟t make good Jedi Knights• Exit stage left: How we failed the world with CSS3• Upgrades of Mass Destruction• Lies, damned lies, and Open Source Statistics
    8. 8. Lets get ready to Rumble…Which depending on your age means…
    9. 9. (if you’re over 30)
    10. 10. (If you’re under 30)
    11. 11. But !• If you search for “PJ and Duncan” on Google images• On the 4th row you see this…
    12. 12. It’s KIMB !!!
    13. 13. Premise• Responsive Design is the ability to apply different CSS styles based on media queries• e.g.
    14. 14. Why this appears awesome:• Mobiles – Responsive Design allows designers and front-end developers to react to mobile devices.
    15. 15. Call a spade, a spade• When we say “responsive”, what we mean is, “Mobile”.• Or specifically, “same content, but with a different design for mobiles/tablets”.• It works on the premise that the ONLY difference between a desktop and a mobile browser is screen size.• Non-Desktop users: – rarely use a Human-Computer-Interaction device – are almost always looking for different information – are rarely on broadband
    16. 16. Proof of Paradox• It‟s not about Screen Size, it‟s about Context.• We had Screen Size specific 10 years ago, so it‟s definitely about Context and not Screen Size.• Except, the only way to test for Context is to test for Screen Size.• So in order for it to not be about screen size, it needs to be measures and identified by screen size.
    17. 17. So… Context• The CSS2 spec DID include context variables! – media: handheld, screen, tv, print• But after years of research, these were dropped by some small companies that according to our web design community know nothing about what Mobile Users want…
    18. 18. Who you gonna call?• These companies, say that their users don‟t like to be treated differently unless it‟s in their best interests.• Not with a visual, but a data & architectural change.
    19. 19. So…• in order to change the visual elements under the premise of it being about Context and not Screen Sizes, we have to map Screen Sizes to our predefined Context, and then use Screen Sizes to decide what to display – which was exactly what we said it wasn‟t doing.• It‟s also exactly what our users don‟t want.
    20. 20. Irony in Images• Responsive Design was invented for designers/front- end coders to not be reliant on developers for multiple versions of websites.• One of the major downfalls of RWD is Images.• Inline images work best for responsive design, using the code: – img.className { max-width: 100%; }
    21. 21. • By this method, the same image is on all site versions.• Do you load an image that‟s high quality, and destroys your bandwidth on a mobile?• Or do you load a low quality one that looks poor on a desktop?• Or do you attempt to load multiple images and display/hide the correct one as needed?• None of these work well. So you have to use a technical solution to request the right type of image.
    22. 22. Conclusion• Responsive Design = “same data, different display”.• But it can‟t take into consideration: – Bandwidth – Platform – Device – Purpose – Context• It wants to, but all it knows is Screen Size.• Those require decision making processes, something that CSS simply isn‟t built for.
    23. 23. • It has to be about Information Architecture.• It can‟t be done by CSS alone.• CSS wasn‟t intended nor built for that purpose• We need to stop shoe-horning shit into the CSS specs• We‟ll end up at a place where each browser supports only the code they want to and in the way they want to
    24. 24. • RWD is not a bad idea.• Technical restraint and common sense are once again being thrown out the window in the name of cool- looking-shit on the internet. (Hello 1999?)• RWD is irresponsible, because designers & front-end coders have the ability to fake something regardless of the Business Case or Return on Investment.• Rest assured, 2-5Mb “mobile optimised” homepages await us.
    25. 25. Premise• I can‟t see the word “free” in “Open Source”• There‟s a growing sense of entitlement that software should have no cost.• Worse, we now expect people to give support and updates for free… forever!• We‟ve stopped looking at the business cases around the software we‟re hoping to use.
    26. 26. • We favour the exceptionally cheap or free option over software with a different pricing model that aligns better with our needs.• “premium” and “freemium” plug-ins are decried unless their cost is so small and their features so great that the Return on Investment is mind blowingly large.• That‟s not a business model that can continue to perpetuate itself in the long run.
    27. 27. How often have you thought this? • I can‟t believe that plug-in costs money!! • I could do that myself 2-3 hours! • I mean, look at the other free versions, they haven‟t been kept up to date, but appear to do the same thing. It’s a rip-off !
    28. 28. Listen to Bowie• If the alternatives to the paid-for version are out of date, then they probably won‟t work (as well).• You can‟t code it in 2-3 hours.• Your code may suit your needs more succinctly, but we know that all software has quirks and you‟re not going to find them all on the first go.
    29. 29. Do the Math !• How much do you charge an hour?• How long do you think it would take you to plan, code, test and deploy your version?• Divide the cost of your purchase by how long you think it would take you to develop. Which is more?
    30. 30. • Open Source is not yet taken seriously as a viable business model, and we need to make a mental shift.• We need to accept that “Open Source Software” does not contain the word “free”, and that my time, your time, and other people‟s time is worth more than “nothing”.• Don‟t value free over not free: it‟s an oxymoron!
    31. 31. • First Draft published in 2008• 4 years later, still no definitive spec
    32. 32. Bluntly, it’s not ready.
    33. 33. Premise• Jargon-free isn‟t enough• Acknowledge the lies (WYSIWYG)• Terminology
    34. 34. Justified• CLIENT: “I don‟t like the type.”• ME: “What don‟t you like.”• CLIENT: “I don‟t like how it goes all to one side.”• ME: “You mean ranged left.”• CLIENT: “Yes, yes, arranged left.”• ME: “How do you want it?”• CLIENT: “To be the same on both sides.”• ME: “Justified?”• CLIENT: “I don‟t have to justify anything! I own the fucking company.”
    35. 35. • Jargon free isn‟t enough• We still treat people as if they have what WE consider to be a base level of knowledge.
    36. 36. The biggest lie of all• WYSIWYG
    37. 37. • WordPress WYSIWYG
    38. 38. WP Function• add_editor_style(„editor-style.css‟);• Added in 3.0 (officially)• Unofficially there since 2.7• FYI: Doesn‟t quite work thanks to the implementation of TinyMCE (you need to include browser reset css)
    39. 39. Premise• What makes a good developer?• What makes a good Jedi Knight?
    40. 40. In the real world…• What makes a good Project Manager?• What makes a good Tester?
    41. 41. Every week on Star Trek• Kirk: Mr. Scott, How long until X?• Scotty: 3 weeks captain.• Kirk: I need it in 4 minutes• Scotty: I just cannae do it captain• Kirk: I need it Mr.Scott• Scott: Oh you need it? let me just flick this switch
    42. 42. Remember• Kirk went on away missions• Kirk talked to all departments• Kirk talked to Starfleet Command• Kirk talked to people on the view screen• Kirk was from Ohio, he just worked in Outer Space• Scotty stayed in Engineering
    43. 43. Is the good thing, the right thing?

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